


Beneath a Steel Sky

by KRenee



Series: The Unity Trilogy [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dark, Disturbing Themes, Friendship, Gen, Language, Original Character(s), Self-harming, Violence, deceased original characters, parasomnia - Freeform, supernatural themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-03-21 15:38:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 115,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3697691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KRenee/pseuds/KRenee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaisuki decided that she wouldn't become a kunoichi and dropped out of the academy four years ago, abandoning her goal entirely. Naturally, a suggestion by the Hokage that had the potential to resolve her issues with becoming a shinobi turned into a path paved with lies, darkness, and unwavering friendships. Now it's simply a matter of figuring out who's on what side, and just how many sides there are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

_She didn't know where she was._

_Kaisuki was still for a long time, her chest heaving as she gasped for air. It felt like her lungs would collapse. She was terrified. Where was she? Who were these people? They looked frightened, concerned, wary. There were three of them – a man, a woman, and a teenage girl. They looked vaguely familiar, but she wasn't sure if the memories she was trying to conjure were her own._

_The man took a step forward, and just like that, panic surged through her and she shrieked, eyes wild with anger and terror. She watched as the man's mouth moved, as he tried to speak to her, but all she could hear was the pounding of her heart, the rushing of the blood in her veins. She lashed out, and all at once there was blood splattered across the walls, across the floor. More of the red stuff oozed out of fresh wounds as the man collapsed to the ground._

_The girl screamed, “Otou-san!!”_

_The woman barely moved to protect her daughter before the two of them were dead. She could feel the nearly bottomless well of energy contained in her small body expanding outward, surrounding her in a cocoon of heat. The floor caught fire, and moments later the whole house was in flames._

_Kaisuki's eyes widened slowly, as if a veil had been lifted from her eyes._

_Mom... Dad... Kisaki..._

_Slowly, she lifted her trembling hands, staring at the blood smeared across the talons that replaced her fingers. Her wrists were too thin. She was too tall. Her skin wasn't this gray. She didn't recognize the scars marring her arms. Her vision was better than she was used to. Messy, black hair that wasn't her's fell in front of her eyes, and a rush of horror at what she had done nearly consumed her._

_Her eyes welled up with tears, and she took a step back, and then another. The house was burning down around her, and she couldn't stop staring at the three bodies – her family – on the floor. The aura around her grew exponentially, spinning around her chaotically, spreading more of that impossible heat throughout the house._

_She took another step back, unable to speak, unable to breathe. She killed them. She killed her family. She killed them. She killed them. She killed them. She killed them. She killed them. She-..._

_A voice that wasn't hers burst from her throat, a piercing scream that rang through the air around her. Everything around her was becoming a fiery blaze. She felt sick. She ought to burn alive with her home, with her family. She could feel her body moving, but she wasn't the one in control of it. She stumbled through a door, hysterical and terrified and horrified and angry, and the tempest of emotions swirling within her, swallowing her consciousness and leaving her at their mercy._

_Movement to her right had her lashing out again, and more blood was spilling. She didn't know what was going on, she was just reacting on her instincts, on her terror. There was fire, and blood, and a metallic taste in her mouth, and fear. All of it wrapped around her tightly, strangling her, choking her. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe..._

_Sasuke's standing over her with a saw blade in his hand, and just by the way he's eying her leg she knows what he's planning. Words are spilling out of her mouth before she realizes she's speaking, begging and pleading for him to stop, just stop, Sasuke this isn't you I know this isn't you please please oh my god please..._

_The tip of the blade touches her skin, and her pleads rise in volume until she screaming desperately, PLEASE DON'T CUT OFF MY LEG! But he isn't listening, he's pressing down on the saw, and then cutting through flesh and then bone, and she screams long and hard, agony ripping its way up her leg. Her nails claw against the metal slab she's strapped to, and Sasuke grins, laughs, and Kaisuki tries to tell herself that it isn't really him, that he would never do this, but she can't convince herself even though she knows she's dreaming._

“ _Wake up, Kaisuki. You'll bleed to death.”_


	2. the beginning

Kaisuki awoke with a start, sitting up suddenly with wide eyes and a strangled gasp. She sat in bed, gasping for air, one hand pressed against her chest, the other throwing back the blankets. She didn't need to check to make sure her leg was still there, but she did it anyway. It was intact, as it ought to be, though there was a faint tingling below the knee.

She shuddered, trying to force the memory of the nightmare out of her thoughts.

She was shaking all over, even as she swung her legs out of bed and slowly stood up. She swallowed compulsively, feeling sick. Kaisuki briefly glanced at the clock on her wall, cursing when she saw the time. She was supposed to be seeing the Hokage in ten minutes. She was definitely going to be late. She threw on her clothes and ran out the door, not bothering to stop to eat. She didn't want to make herself any later than she needed to be.

The black-haired girl ran through the streets of Konohagakure, dodging around civilians and shinobi alike. At one point, she thought she saw Sasuke, but she didn't stop. She didn't have time to fight with him this morning, as she was sure to do if she interacted with him. A few years ago, she would've sought him out for reassurance after a nightmare like the one she'd had, but those days had long since ended.

She took a flight of stairs two at time, sprinted down a hallway, turned a corner and sprinted down another hallway, before stopping in front of the Hokage's main office. She took a moment to catch her breath, glancing around the hall for a clock. Only three minutes late. Not bad.

She knocked before leaning back on her heels and waiting patiently for the Hokage to respond. There was only a beat before she heard an aged voice call through the door, "Come in."

Kaisuki opened the heavy door and stepped into the room. She still didn't know why she was meeting the Hokage. She'd received the letter a couple of days prior, but no details about what he wanted were divulged in it. Just a request that she visit - as she was now - and that she wasn't in trouble. It had seemed kind of suspicious, but she didn't let it get to her.

She hadn't seen the Hokage since she dropped out of the academy three years ago. He sent her letters occasionally, but they never saw each other, as neither of them spent much time wandering the streets in search of something to do. Kaisuki busied herself with training and sparring with the other academy dropout (though in a less literal sense), Uzumaki Naruto. The Hokage didn't have enough spare time to need to busy himself, instead spending his days locked up in his office building, slaving away for the citizens of Konohagakure.

"Good morning, Hokage-sama," she greeted, bowing slightly after she had closed the door. He smiled at her, beckoning her further into the room and indicating where she should sit.

"It's good to see you, Kaisuki." He said, and she didn't miss the somber tone of his voice. He had been truly saddened to see her drop out of the academy. He hadn't tried to stop her, or even convince her to rethink her decision. He'd just given her a sad smile and agreed to let her leave the academy, much to Iruka-sensei's disappointment.

Kaisuki took her seat as it had been offered to her, placing her hands in her lap, "What did you want to speak to me about today?" She asked.

There was a pause as she watched him light his pipe. He really needed to cut back on his smoking. It wasn't doing his body any favors, and it would be kind of lame if he died of a lung disease because he smoked too much.

"I want you to join Team 7." He stated. He evidently recalled that Kaisuki was not a fan of beating around the bush. That was a relief. That didn't make her feel much better about his words, though.

"I thought we had already agreed that I'm not suited for being a kunoichi," Kaisuki said slowly, her voice strained. "You know I don't want to, why would you bother asking?"

"I think it would be better if, rather than living in fear of Saeka for the rest of your life, you learned to control her on your own. Kaisuki, you are not the only Yurei I've met. Some of them were as terrified of their spirits as you are of yours, but there were others who had gotten to know their spirits and learned to... tame them, I suppose you might say."

She was getting a headache, all of a sudden. She didn't want to be talking to him about Saeka. She knew it had been a bad idea to agree to meet him.

"I can't control her," Kaisuki argued. "If you had her living inside of you, you would understand where I'm coming from. But you don't, so you can't." She only barely refrained from outright snarling, instead choosing to glare at the Hokage indignantly. "I don't want to be a kunoichi."

"I hadn't heard about her hating Kakashi," was his reply, and for a moment Kaisuki wanted to hit him. "How about we make a deal, then? You won't go on any missions that involve any kind of violence or have the potential to become violent. No capturing, no recon, nothing like that. You can go on escorts for unimportant persons at the most. Do you think you can work with that?"

Kaisuki stared at the Hokage for a very long time. She was getting a little suspicious of his motives. "Why do you want me to join Team 7?"

"I think it would be good for you," he said calmly. He didn't look at all bothered by Kaisuki's likely obvious suspicions. "I think it could mend your relationship with Sasuke, and he needs you as a friend for a variety of reasons, whether either of you realize it or not. Have you heard? He's even become friends with Uzumaki Naruto, of all people." At that, Kaisuki raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "Neither of them will admit it until the other is dead, I'm sure, but it doesn't change facts. Working together with him on a team could fix what you two have broken."

Kaisuki stared at the floor past her knees. No violence-related missions? She might be able to do that. And she did want to make amends with Sasuke, but she didn't really think it was possible. Not when their difference in opinion was about Itachi. He'd never forgive her for not hating the defected Uchiha. If he did, she would be very surprised.

"Kakashi has already said he would be happy to take you in," the Hokage spoke again. "The only thing in question here is whether you're willing to get out of the house every now and then."

"I get out of the house plenty, thank you," she grumbled quietly. Sure, she didn't have any friends, but she didn't need more than what she had. Naruto was good to her, and he was always available when she wanted to spar with him. That was all the getting out she really needed.

The silence following her comment stretched as she thought about all her options, all the pros and cons. She wouldn't have to get involved in anything that might turn violent. She didn't have to do anything she wasn't comfortable with, in other words. She would be able to hang out with Naruto more often, and maybe she'd be able to repair her damaged relationship with Sasuke.

On the other hand, Saeka really did loathe Hatake-san. Kaisuki wasn't entirely sure why. She didn't think that the deceased girl would try to kill him or anything, but she wouldn't be able to spar with her team leader. And while she didn't really mind that, she wasn't sure if she wanted to risk Saeka encountering Hatake-san again.

But, like the Hokage had said, it would be better if she could learn to, at the very least, calm Saeka down when she was mad or panicking. And one of the better ways to do that would be to amass some self-confidence, like the kind she could find after a job well done. And joining up with Team 7 would certainly give her plenty of opportunities for that.

She sighed, smiling ruefully. It sort of figured that she could be talked into more or less returning to the path of a kunoichi. It had been her dream to be an amazing kunoichi, like the incredible Lady Tsunade of the Sannin, or the legendary Princess Mononoke of Tsukigakure. She had wanted to go down in history as one of the best. And her dream had been all but robbed from her the day Saeka slaughtered her family.

But maybe she could build up to it. Maybe she could start doing the little D-rank odd jobs. Maybe she could work towards being able to spar lightly with Hatake-san. Maybe she could get to a point where her first feeling towards Saeka wasn't fear.

"Okay, I guess." Kaisuki said softly. "I'll give it a shot. But if it doesn't work out, I'm done."

The Hokage looked infuriatingly delighted by the news, though it only showed in the twinkle of his dark eyes. "Good," he said with a smile. "I'll let Kakashi know, and you'll hear from him when and where he's going to want to introduce you to the rest of your team."

She nodded silently, "Is that all you wanted me for?"

The Hokage nodded, "Yes, it is. You're free to go, now."

"Thank you," Kaisuki replied offhandedly, standing up. She offered up a weary smile before exiting the office. She wasn't sure if she was happy about everything that had transpired or not. She wasn't sure if she really wanted to do this. Although, if she really hated it, she could always sabotage the effort, she supposed.

Kaisuki looked towards the sky as she walked outside, sighing heavily. She hated that she had been talked into doing something she didn't entirely want to do, but she was glad to have been talked into it. She did want to become a kunoichi. She was afraid of the path itself, not the end result.

 _Well_ , she thought bitterly. _Better now than never._

...

"Ugh, how far away is this place?" Naruto complained loudly, his fingers interlocked behind his head.

"It's in another country, Naruto." Sakura answered in exasperation. "This trip will take several days."

They were only midway through the second day of their trip to Nami no Kuni, and already Naruto was complaining. Sasuke didn't comment, but Kaisuki hadn't expected him to. He had gotten much quieter since she'd joined the team, according to Naruto. The blonde had informed her that he and Sasuke used to fight like cats and dogs constantly, but now the other boy hardly looked in his direction. Kaisuki knew he was just being a brat, but it still stung. She knew he had every right to feel the way he did, but that didn't mean he was being any less of a jerk.

He didn't want her on the team. He was the only person who had a problem with it. She hadn't been surprised when he'd been furious and then refused to speak to her. He had already decided on his own that the two of them weren't going to be friends anymore, but Kaisuki hadn't thought he was going to never speak to her. She'd figured he'd be civil, because she was a member of the team and he had to deal with it. He'd done the exact opposite.

He refused to work with the others, and that was fine when they were pulling weeds or chasing hounds, but if they ever - for any reason - wound up on a battlefield, Sasuke would either have to get over himself, or he would likely get his teammates hurt or killed. He never spoke to Kaisuki, rarely spoke to Sakura (though that had been the case already), and spent most of his time replying to Naruto with nothing more or less than a murderous glare. He obviously knew that Naruto and Kaisuki were friends, and apparently having Kaisuki on the team had changed his perception of the blonde, even though Kaisuki and Naruto had already been friends in the first place.

The blonde and her were close friends They told each other everything. They trusted each other with their lives. Naruto helped to ground Kaisuki, and he succeeded in making her feel safe and secure. He let her cry, even though it obviously made him exceedingly uncomfortable. He enjoyed ranting about Sasuke with her. He took her to lunch or dinner almost every time he went to Ichiraku's, so long as she was easy to find.

And in return, she looked out for him. When the boy was in danger of making a fool of himself, or doing something wrong, or utterly misunderstanding the task that had been set before them, she would pull him aside or otherwise find a way to head off his mistakes early. She hadn't let him rip out all the flowers in any of the gardens they'd been pulling weeds for. She had prevented him from capturing Akamaru - one of the Inuzuka clans dogs - instead of the pet they had been looking for.

And evidently, their closeness had succeeded in ruining the friendship the Hokage had claimed was blooming between Naruto and Sasuke. Kaisuki had yet to see any evidence of said friendship, but that was because she had apparently ruined it the moment she joined the team. The stupid, irrational brat that Sasuke was. Sometimes, she genuinely just wanted to rip his stupid face off. It wouldn't make him bond with Naruto again, but it would be a successful way to make him stop being a dick.

 _Woah,_ Kaisuki thought, her brow furrowing as she walked. _That was a little over the top, brain. Settle down._

She didn't really want to rip his face off. She actually had no idea where that train of thought had come from. Usually, if Saeka wanted her to know what she was thinking, she'd just start talking. It was sometimes inconvenient, and if she ignored the girl she would inevitably become angry with her. And if there was one thing Kaisuki wanted to avoid, it was infuriating Saeka.

She had no idea why the girl hadn't seemed to have a real problem with Kakashi-sensei. Their first encounter had nearly resulted in the jounin's doom. The one after that had involved a lot of shrieking and incoherency.

So, now that the silver-haired jounin was her team leader, she would have thought Saeka would've been angrier. It wasn't as though the girl wasn't angry - Kaisuki could feel the coils of irritability and agitation unwinding like an angry snake. She could feel it when Saeka wanted to flay the jounin alive. Often enough, Saeka would start cursing his existence venomously in the back of Kaisuki's head, but she had yet to do anything rash.

" _Even I have the capacity for getting over it, Kaisuki._ " The red-eyed girl stiffened at the sound of Saeka's voice. She sounded agitated, but it was a different kind of agitation. Saeka had been extremely quiet as of late. Actually, she'd been quiet since Kaisuki had joined Team 7 five weeks ago. It was something Kaisuki considered "odd behavior." It wasn't as though most of Saeka' behaviors weren't odd, but rather that the Tsubaki was used to them. So when the girl started doing something different, Kaisuki noticed quickly.

" _Forgive me for not knowing you very well._ " She replied with her inner voice. The deceased girl didn't respond. Kaisuki sighed aloud, lifting her gaze to the back of the jounin walking ahead of her. Her eyes drifted then to the drunkard walking a step behind Kakashi-sensei, on the right side. Tazuna was an older man. He didn't look very strong, but he didn't look very important or wealthy either. She had no idea why he'd needed an escort. It wasn't as though a band of thieves were going to steal from a broke drunk, let alone try to kidnap him for ransom. He probably didn't have anything worth more than five hundred yen in his pockets.

So why the escort? She frowned, looking around her surroundings briefly. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She didn't sense any extra presences following them. She didn't see anything strange. She couldn't hear anything odd, or smell anything weird. It was just a dirt road that would eventually lead them to the waterways that they would take to get to Nami no Kuni.

She lowered her gaze to the ground a few feet ahead of her, thinking. If Tazuna had neglected to mention that his life might be in danger, and the rank of this mission was an unfit match to the team it had been assigned to, she could very well be walking into an extremely dangerous situation, and not just for herself. If she was forced to engage an enemy ninja, would Saeka-...

" _Let me take over._ "

Kaisuki stopped dead in her tracks, eyes widening. She clenched her fingers around the straps of her backpack and swallowed hard.

" _Why?_ " She responded nervously. Would she be usurped, even if she said no? There was a strange hush in her mind, and it almost sounded like someone was whispering to someone else, but she wasn't sure. She had only encountered Saeka thus far, and though she had been able to feel one other presence, she hadn't spoken to them yet.

Saeka didn't reply to her question at all.

"-suki! Oi, shinobi to Kaisuki!" At the sound of Naruto's voice, she jerked, startled by what she was suddenly hearing, and looked up. She felt out of sorts. Her whole body didn't feel right. Saeka was going to steal the reigns. She was going to take over and kill someone, and Kaisuki wouldn't be able to make her stop. Why did she even ask if she was going to take over anyway?

"S-..." she began, her throat locking up.

"S?" Sakura said slowly, uncertainly. "What's wrong, Kaisuki? You look like you're gonna faint."

Kaisuki took in a shaky breath, directing her gaze to the ground. Her vision was getting hazy. This was all the warning she was going to get, and if she didn't tell the others that she was about to turn, they would be woefully unprepared and would be that much more likely to get killed.

"S-Saeka's... coming." She managed to say. Even her throat felt like it was beyond her reach. It felt like she was sliding out of her own body.

Kakashi-sensei's one visible eye widened, his shock showing. Sasuke's hand jerked towards his kunai pouch, his whole body stiffening as he moved between Kaisuki and Tazuna. He still had the mission objective in mind. That was a good thing, she was pretty sure. Naruto looked startled, but not frightened. She knew already that, if anyone would be able to settle Saeka, it would have to be Naruto. He would be the only option for a diplomatic conversation.

" _Kaisuki, let me up front._ " Saeka's voice came again, this time sounding less annoyed and more urgent. There was an undertone of hostility that she didn't miss, but the urgency in her voice was what confused Kaisuki. The girl blinked, trying to push back, trying to resist Saeka's intruding person.

" _Tell me why and I'll consider it._ "

Her whole body was suddenly enveloped in a powerful heat, and she gasped in surprise. Her vision blacked out completely as she was thrown into the back of her own mind and then held down.

" _Saeka, no! Don't kill anyone!_ " She screamed, sitting in complete darkness. Her heart was hammering in her throat, and she didn't know what was going on. Someone was going to die, she just knew it. Maybe all of them. What would she do if Saeka killed all of them? Angry tears spilled down her cheeks as she somehow found the capacity for hate and rage.

" _Let me back up! LET ME BACK UP!_ " She shrieked, looking around in the darkness desperately. There had to be an out. There had to be something she was missing. There had to be a way for her to forcibly take her body back. There just had to be.

...

Sasuke jerked back, his eyes widening as fear tore through him. He had met Saeka before. He didn't want to meet her again. His hands were shaking, so he clenched his fists tightly, trying to get a hold of himself. He wouldn't freeze up like he had on that night. He wouldn't freeze up. He would fight. He would protect Tazuna, because that was the mission. He absolutely wouldn't die. Not yet. Not until he killed Itachi.

The atmosphere changed suddenly with the temperature. There was a visible aura of fiery red chakra surrounding Kaisuki. Saeka's chakra. He swallowed hard, trying to remain as calm as he could. There was only one person besides Itachi who had ever managed to scare him like this, and that person was Saeka.

He blinked, and the whirlwind of fiery red chakra was swept away by the light breeze that rolled through the trees. Sasuke's heart rate was through the sky, his breathing erratic and shallow. The air cleared, and he could tell just by looking at her that it wasn't Kaisuki anymore. She was very still, her eyes closed, her whole body relaxed. She didn't look nearly as maniacal as that last time she had possessed Kaisuki.

It was, of course, the idiot Naruto who spoke.

"Saeka-chan?" He didn't speak quietly, but he kept his voice surprisingly level and he sounded impossibly calm. It infuriated Sasuke, which helped to crush his fear. Why wasn't Naruto afraid? He hung out with Kaisuki so much, so he probably knew who Saeka was, and what she was capable of. How could the blonde... how could anyone not be frightened if they knew who Saeka was? Saeka was the psychopath that had killed Kaisuki's family. She'd almost killed Itachi. She'd attacked Sasuke before. He'd heard about her assaulting Kakashi-sensei and injuring him badly enough to render him hospitalized.

So, why was Naruto so calm? He wasn't a good actor, so his current show of stillness had to be genuine.

"Saeka-chan, is something wrong? Is that why you came out?" Naruto asked the question as if he was talking to anyone else. As if he was talking to one of his teammates. As if he was talking to a friend. Sasuke deliberately worked to settle his physical reaction to Saeka's presence. He carefully crushed his panicked thoughts, and settled his heart and breathing. He just needed to still his mind.

_**She's just like Itachi.** _

His fists clenched tightly, anger beginning to seep through his calm. That was more like it.

"Saeka-..." Naruto's next statement was rather rudely interrupted when Saeka slowly turned towards Sasuke. He clenched his jaw. He couldn't find his words. He had nothing smart to say, nothing that might calm her down or whatever. He just stood there, extremely still, as if he thought maybe her vision was movement-based.

"Don't move." Saeka said, her voice eerily calm, her pink eyes void of emotion. She spoke directly to Sasuke, her gaze shifting to the drunk standing behind him. He heard Tazuna make a throaty, nervous sound. Apparently both of them were a little freaked out.

He flinched backwards, his hand going for his kunai pouch, when she suddenly launched herself at him. A kunai came up, panic and reflexes replacing rational thought. He should be dodging, not standing his ground. He should be tackling Tazuna to the ground so she'd just fly over their heads.

Sasuke never closed his eyes, but Saeka still blinked out of sight for a split second. He felt a weight on his shoulder push him forward, and he stumbled a bit, whirling around with wide eyes, expecting to have to protect Tazuna.

The sound of blood hitting the ground wasn't what froze Sasuke. The sight of the body wasn't what startled him. No, what startled him was that it wasn't Tazuna who was dead. It wasn't Kakashi-sensei, either. It wasn't Naruto or Sakura. It wasn't even Sasuke himself. His eyes were wide as he stared at the missing-nin that had evidently tried to ambush them from behind.

They were in danger. _Danger! Danger! Protect yourself! Defend the team! Watch out for Tazuna-san!_

_**Kill someone.** _

He felt a presence darting in from his right, and he immediately went into battle-mode. He spun around with the kunai he had pulled out to protect himself from Saeka, lashing out violently with the blade. He felt it when the blade connected with flesh long before he saw it and registered it visually. The missing-nin's throat spilled blood all over the ground, all over Sasuke's hands. The droplets of blood would surely stain his shirt and shorts, but he didn't care.

_**Kill more.** _

There's no one else to kill, his rational mind countered. That pushy, violent side of his psyche settled down quickly, slinking back into the furthest reaches of his mind. Since the massacre, he'd had a hard time settling down during a fight. Once he went into battle-mode, it was hard for him to come back out of it. Even those skirmishes during the academy had often resulted in someone getting really hurt.

It was like he didn't have control over his actions, sometimes.

Sasuke let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Blood pooled at his feet, and he took a few steps back from it. He looked at his blood-splattered hands, frowning. It felt nice, for some reason. He'd never felt blood on his hands before. It wasn't a bad feeling. It was exhilarating. Sasuke had faced death before, but this was his first kill.

He liked it.

"-ke. Sasuke?" He blinked, looking up from his hands. He felt a little... delirious, almost. But not as though he would faint, or be ill. He was just extremely discombobulated. He took in a shaky breath as he stared at Kakashi-sensei, who had walked over. How long had he been staring at his hands? How long had Kakashi-sensei been talking to him? He felt like it'd only be a few seconds, but at the same time it felt like it had been a couple of hours.

"Sasuke, are you alright?" He asked, looking concerned. Sasuke blinked, confused. Of course he was fine, couldn't they see that? He hadn't been injured in that fight at all. Had no one been paying any attention?

"I'm fine," he said quietly, frowning as he looked away from his instructor's piercing gaze. He didn't want the man to see that he was a lot better than fine. He knew, on a morals level, that enjoying the feeling of killing wasn't good. He couldn't help how he felt, though, and he knew everyone around him would judge him.

Kakashi-sensei didn't look like he believed Sasuke's response. His words confirmed that. "You've been spacing out for five minutes."

Sasuke stared at him for a long time. Five minutes? It hadn't been that long, had it?

"I'm fine, really," he repeated. "Really. I'm just... I dunno. It's nothing, really. I'm fine." He clamped his mouth shut. He felt sort of like he was on some kind of high. He took in a deep breath, looking down at the corpse laying a few feet away.

Movement caught his eye and he glanced in that direction.. Naruto had walked over to Saeka and was talking to talking to her. She didn't seem at all bothered by the conversation, or the person she was talking with. He didn't understand. Was she really the same Saeka? Had Kaisuki done something? What was going on? The Saeka he had met on numerous occasions had tried to kill him more than once, and usually wound up shrieking in rage at one thing or another.

And yet...

Saeka nodded at Naruto, offering a small smile before her eyelids fluttered. Suddenly, those hot pink eyes switched back to the usual bright red that told Sasuke that Kaisuki was back. She stood completely still, and when Naruto called her name, she didn't respond. It looked like she wasn't entirely present. Catatonia, or something. Kakashi-sensei watched her for a moment, but seemed to get the impression that Naruto had it under control. Sasuke didn't know when Naruto had been a responsible party, but he wish it hadn't happened. It had been a better dynamic when he had been the best on the team. It at least meant that Sakura and Naruto didn't usually get in his way.

Sasuke tore his gaze away from Kaisuki's blank face and looked to Kakashi-sensei as he started to speak to Tazuna. "These guys were chuunin from Kirigakure. They are ninja known to keep fighting, no matter the cost."

Tazuna's eyes narrowed, "Why would you let your students fight if you knew that already? Why would you put them in that kind of danger?"

"If I was up to it," the silver-haired man said, his tone calming somewhat. He still seemed pretty irate. "I could've killed these two in the blink of an eye. But," he paused briefly, "I needed to know who their target was."

Tazuna stiffened noticeably at that. Sasuke saw him swallow what was likely a lump in his throat before he spoke in his gravelly voice, "What are you trying to say, Kakashi-san?"

"We haven't heard anything about you being a target, Tazuna-san. Your request was to protect you from armed gangs and robbers." Kakashi-sensei answered, his expression darkening. "Our job was to support and guard you until you completed the bridge. If ninja are our enemy, this mission should've been an expensive B-rank. It looks like you have your reasons, but it only troubles us if you lie in your request details."

Sakura, who had been watching the conversation closely, spoke up before Tazuna could respond to Kakashi's statement. "This mission is out of our league. We should quit it... we're not qualified for a mission like this."

"No."

All of them turned at the sound of Kaisuki's voice. She had been standing so still for such a long time, Sasuke had briefly forgotten she was with them. Now, she stared at Kakashi-sensei, her eyes showing a strength that he hadn't ever seen before. Something had changed, but he didn't know what. He didn't have a clue as to what was going on, and it pissed him off.

"W-what?" Sakura stammered, unable to contain herself. "Kaisuki, we're not qualified for this mission. We won't be able to successfully complete it. We'll get killed-..."

"No, we won't," Kaisuki interjected smoothly, looking oddly relaxed for someone who had just been possessed by what Sasuke would call an embodiment of evil. "And besides, what kind of ninja are we going to turn out as if we walk away from every mission that seems difficult?"

"This mission doesn't just seem difficult!" Sakura protested. She looked terrified.

 _ **Pathetic**_.

"I agree with Kaisuki," Naruto proclaimed. "I think we should just do the mission. Kakashi-sensei is supposedly this legendary ninja, so we have nothing to worry about! We can handle chuunin-class ninja, apparently, so we'll be able to handle anything they throw at us! Right, Sasuke?"

Sasuke blinked, startled at being so suddenly included in the conversation. He didn't want to answer. He didn't care what they did. He'd honestly rather continue the mission, but if they didn't, he wouldn't be upset or anything. He just...

_I just want to feel more blood on my hands._

He tried and failed to be inconspicuous about wiping the blood on his hands onto his shirt. Sakura looked stricken. Naruto looked exceedingly hopeful. Kaisuki wasn't even looking at him. He scowled. He didn't want to reply. He didn't want to break down and start talking to them again, even though he kind of missed fighting with Naruto.

He was far too stubborn to give in, though. If he was going to never speak to them again (at least until Kaisuki was off the team), he had to stick with it, or it would be meaningless.

"Sasuke," Kakashi-sensei spoke next, sounding sort of resigned, if not a touch annoyed. "Do you want to keep going, or turn back?"

That one he would answer. He looked deliberately at Kakashi-sensei, completely blowing off Naruto. "I don't really care," he said coolly. "I don't like leaving things unfinished, but if there's a scaredy-cat who wants to go home, that's fine too.

Sakura flinched as though she'd been struck. Sasuke ignored her.

"Don't be an asshole, Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, and he ignored him as well.

Kakashi-sensei sighed, shaking his head. He looked like he wasn't sure what he wanted to do with the situation. Sasuke saw Naruto abruptly turn to Sakura, his blue eyes earnest and determined.

"Sakura-chan, I know you're afraid, but I swear on my life that I'll protect you, and I won't let anyone die! I won't leave anyone behind for anything, okay? I'll protect you. It's a man's promise!"

Sakura stared at him with wide eyes. She looked like she might cry. Sasuke couldn't help that his attention was drawn towards the exchange. Naruto looked very desperate.

"But..." Sakura said, looking helplessly for something that would definitely make everyone decide to go back. But there was nothing, because everyone wanted to go on this mission, with the possible exception of Kakashi-sensei.

"I'll even look out for Sasuke, even though he's a jerk and can probably take care of himself, okay? No one's gonna die on this mission, I swear on my life!" Naruto reiterated, speaking faster than usual. He really wanted to continue this mission. He probably just had the scare of his life, but now that he'd gotten past that and realized how interesting the mission was, he didn't want to back down. Sasuke had gotten second blood, first if you didn't count Saeka as a member of the team (as far as Sasuke was concerned, Kaisuki and her spirits were a packaged deal). Naruto would surely be vying for third, assuming he could summon the courage to actually kill someone.

Sakura buried her face in her hands, breathing noisily and mumbling to herself angrily. Kaisuki walked over to her side, touching her shoulder lightly. The pink-haired girl looked at her, eyes watering.

"I don't want to go," she mumbled. "We could die."

"Sakura," Kaisuki said softly. "There will be a chance of us dying on almost every mission we go on once we become chuunin. There'll be no avoiding it. Being a shinobi is dangerous. If you're this scared of death, you should either quit being a kunoichi, or get strong enough that you don't have to worry about it."

The girl stared at Kaisuki for a long moment. Finally, she lowered her head, wrapping her arms around her middle. Everyone was oddly quiet for a long moment, waiting for the verdict. If Sakura couldn't handle the mission, it was entirely possible that Kakashi-sensei would send her home alone. They hadn't left Hi no Kuni yet, so she'd probably make it back on her own without much problem.

Assuming she had learned anything at all about combat in the academy.

"Fine," Sakura muttered, glancing towards Sasuke briefly. He saw her out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't look towards her. "I'm going to become a kunoichi. So I... I won't back down." She sounded very determined all of a sudden.

Kaisuki smiled sincerely at her, whilst Naruto leaped into the air and pumped his fist towards the sky. Sasuke turned his attention away from the three of them when he saw Sakura start looking his way. He deliberately looked everywhere but towards them.

They had gotten used to him ignoring them enough that, at this point, they functioned as a team as though he weren't present. He knew that they wanted him to participate... well, he was relatively sure that at least Sakura wanted him to quit being "a jerk." He didn't actually know about Naruto, and he definitely didn't know about Kaisuki. She had taken his ignoring her, and had returned the favor. They now ignored each other so intensely, it was sort of ridiculous.

But... it hurt, too. Part of him had been hoping that his behavior - however childish - would get at least Sakura to help him attempt to boot Kaisuki off the team. But Sakura had taken a fair liking to Kaisuki, and was perfectly fine with her presence, even though the fact that they associated with each other was enough to keep Sasuke from interacting with Sakura ever. She ought to have realized that by now.

Maybe he just didn't matter that much as a member of the team.

_**You don't belong here.** _

He diverted his gaze to the ground. Kakashi-sensei was talking, and then they were resuming their path along the road to Nami no Kuni. He felt extremely out of sorts, and not at all like himself. He wasn't sure if it was because his limbs seemed to be hundreds of kilometers away, or if it was the throbbing in his eyes. He just didn't feel right.

Maybe it was the blood still caked around his fingers. He was still trying to scratch and scrape it off, wiping his hands vigorously on his shirt, and rubbing the dried blood with the pad of his thumb. There was so much of it. His blunt nails dug harder and harder into his skin, until it was starting to hurt. But his limbs still felt so far away, and were so hard to control, he was digging into his skin before he realized what he was doing.

When he did notice, however, he immediately stopped. The next stream they passed, he would ask to stop so he could wash his hands. He didn't want to rip all the skin off of them. He didn't want to freak anyone out. He didn't want to peel all the flesh from his hands. He needed to stop. Stop. Stop.

_**I thought we liked the feeling of blood on our hands.** _

Sasuke buried his hands into his pockets, trying to imagine that there wasn't crusty blood caked between his fingers. He tried to imagine that his clothes weren't splattered with red. He tried to pretend to himself that he hadn't just killed someone. That he wasn't covered in their blood. He tried to pretend he didn't feel disgusting, he tried to pretend that he wasn't disgusted with himself.

_I'm not supposed to enjoy killing._

He shuddered at the sensation of his limbs returning to his body, his head clearing, and everything settling back to where it was supposed to be. He didn't know what had just happened, but he didn't care. It didn't matter. No one would care, anyway.

He dug his nails into his palms to take his mind away from everything. He recalled to himself why he was so angry. He forced himself to remember why he was ignoring the rest of the team. He reminded himself that this was Kaisuki's fault. She sympathized with a monster. Any sane person would hate her for caring about the person who murdered their family.

_**But what are we going to do when we have to work with them in a battle?** _

Sasuke couldn't answer.


	3. speak

Night fell over them like a very thick blanket. Luckily, the moon was full and out, so it was bright enough to see. Well, it was bright enough for _him_ to see. Most of the rest of the team had been tripping practically every other step. Tazuna-san hadn't been having much more luck. They had made a lot of progress, but spirits had fallen with the cover of darkness.

Kakashi knew they were approaching a river - one they would have to cross in the morning - so he plodded on with his company. They would camp out beside the river until morning. Hopefully, the spirits of his team would rise with the sun. They were getting close to the sea. Assuming they didn't encounter any trouble, they ought to arrive at the docks to the Nami no Kuni sometime in the early afternoon.

He was sincerely hoping they didn't run into any more trouble. Something was off about Sasuke, and he couldn't put his finger on it. The kid had been even more distant that usual, often appearing as though he wasn't entirely present in the moment. His black eyes would glaze over and his head would dip forward a bit as he slouched his shoulders. Then, after a few minutes, he would straighten up again and return to the present fairly suddenly.

He would look around as inconspicuously as he could, and Kakashi was sure he had been trying to figure out where he was, how long he'd been spacing out, and if anyone had noticed. The jounin had made a point to not look directly at the Uchiha when he was glancing about to ensure that his zoning out wasn't being observed.

Kakashi didn't want to bring it up in front of Kaisuki, Naruto, and Sakura. He knew the kid would be furious if he did. He'd find an opportune moment to inquire after Sasuke's welfare eventually, he was sure. For the time being, he would concentrate on the task at hand: keeping his team alive in the face of very real danger that they were wholly unprepared for. Chuunin class ninja were one thing, but if a jounin class missing-nin came after them next, it was entirely possible that one of them could die.

And yet, they had been over-enthusiastic (well, Naruto and Kaisuki had) even after Kakashi's very blunt warning. Sakura had tried once more to convince them that maybe they should turn back after all, whilst Sasuke had been entirely absent from the conversation. But Kaisuki and Naruto had been insistent, and after a few minutes they worked Sakura over as well. And since Sasuke had already cast his sort of neutral vote, Kakashi hadn't even bothered to check with him again. Naruto had been overjoyed. Kaisuki had just looked extremely determined. He wasn't sure if it was fearlessness, courage, or stupidity.

Well, he supposed it could be all of the above. They _were_ twelve , after all.

Kakashi glanced over at Kaisuki. She seemed to have recovered well after Saeka's episode earlier. He had been extremely surprised when the pink-eyed girl popped out and didn't slaughter all five of them. Or, at the very least, himself and Sasuke. Saeka had a notoriously poor opinion of both Sasuke and Kakashi, though she seemed to bear much more ill will towards the Uchiha, for reasons unknown. The silver-haired man himself was relatively certain that _he_ was disliked because of the many failed attempts to subdue her the day she'd murdered Kaisuki's family and very nearly lit the whole village on fire.

So, really, it had startled him when Saeka _protected_ Sasuke. He would've dealt with those chuunin himself if she hadn't come to the forefront of Kaisuki's shared consciousness. When Saeka was around, it was nearly impossible to sense anything aside from her, because the strength and quantity of her chakra was so ridiculously immense, it basically drowned out everything else for a good kilometer in every direction. When she had come out, he hadn't even been able to sense Naruto, who also had a large amount of chakra, even though the blonde had been standing right beside him.

Sakura and Naruto and Tazuna were just extremely lucky that Saeka had sensed the approach of those chuunin, and that Sasuke had remarkable defensive reflexes. He actually had been ready to stop the one that Sasuke had killed as he saw the black-clothed man approaching, but the Uchiha hadn't given him a chance to take a step forward.

He was quite proud of the genin for handling the situation without any of his assistance, but he also knew that he could've gotten valuable information out of those chuunin if he could've captured just one of them. And that was why he had been berating himself for letting them handle it. He could've stopped Sasuke from killing that chuunin easily, and he should have.

His team wasn't experienced enough to know that, under any circumstances in which the team was being attacked, they needed to spare at least one of the enemy ninja long enough to interrogate them, and the silver-haired man ought to have already known that. But he hadn't been the instructor of a genin team that passed his test _ever_ , and genin just weren't expected to have the same level of skills that they did during times of war. They weren't expected to encounter this level of battle until at least the chuunin exams.

If he hadn't left it to Sasuke and Saeka, Kakashi could've found out who else might come to collect the apparent bounty on Tazuna-san's head, or who they were working for, or what their purpose in targeting Tazuna-san was. He could've found out a lot more than what the older man had been forthcoming about. He knew there was more to the story than what Tazuna-san had told him a couple hours ago, but he also couldn't just tie the guy down and start cutting off his fingers until he told them all the details.

"A-ha! Is that the river, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto suddenly said, sounding fairly relieved. It was pretty late and they'd been walking all day without anything more than a bathroom break. Once Kakashi knew they were going to be targeted by ninja, he had decided that the faster they got to Nami no Kuni, the better.

He peered through the trees, spotting the gleam of moonlight on the surface of water. The path took a hard left up ahead, which would lead them to the narrowest part of the river, where there would be a bridge to cross. After that, it was only a couple of miles to the docks.

"That's it." He confirmed. "And keep your voice down, Naruto."

The blonde clamped his hands over his mouth, "Ah, sorry."

They veered off the path, heading into the trees to the right where the path took its left turn. Within a minute, they found a small clearing at the edge of the river. It looked dry enough, and it was sheltered enough that they would hear enemies coming through the trees. There was only one silent way to get to them, and that was by walking on the water. But Kakashi could keep his senses alert and doze instead of sleeping. That way, he would know if an enemy was coming.

"Alright, we're gonna spend the night here." He said after he had finished his once-over of the area. There was a collective sigh of relief from everyone (except Sasuke, who looked like he was on the verge of vacating the moment again).

Wondering if he'd be able to yank the Uchiha out of it if he spoke directly to him before he had completely disappeared, Kakashi said, "Sasuke, you have the necessities, right?" He asked, knowing full and well that he'd given them to Sakura.

Sasuke blinked a few times, looking up at the jounin with a blank look on his face. Then, he replied slowly, "No, you gave them to Sakura." His voice sounded dulled. Something was definitely up with him.

"Ah, right." he replied, pretending to think momentarily before he continued, "Sakura, set up a fire and get going on something to eat. Naruto, help Sakura out and do whatever she tells you to do. Kaisuki, Sasuke, you're in charge of pitching the tent."

"What about you?" Kaisuki grumbled, sounding a lot less displeased than Kakashi had been sort of expecting.

"I'm guarding Tazuna-san." Was his response as he smiled beneath his mask. The older man snorted beside him, shaking his head. Kaisuki rolled her eyes, not even bothering to hide the gesture, before swinging her backpack off her back and pulling out several scrolls. When he glanced over at Sasuke, he saw the Uchiha was glaring at him. He leveled the kid with a look, watching his jaw work as he contained his fury. He knew better than to blindly attack Kakashi in a rage. After all, the last time he'd done it, he'd wound up face-first in the dirt with a full-grown man sitting on him.

After a beat, Sasuke clenched his fists and stalked over to wordlessly assist in the pitching of the tents. Neither of them spoke, which made the fact that they knew exactly what to do at any point in time fairly amusing. Sasuke claimed to hate Kaisuki, and Kaisuki claimed to not care about Sasuke anymore, but what they said and felt at any moment didn't seem to alter the connection they had. They had been friends from ages two to ten. Kakashi supposed it wouldn't be that easy for them to just stop knowing each other. Relationships didn't work that way.

It did give hope for the future though, he supposed.

...

"Kakashi-sensei!!" The sound of Sakura's voice was drowned out by the adrenaline rushing through Kaisuki's veins. Her mouth was dry. What had just happened? She had barely been able to follow their movements, and now, all of a sudden, their jounin instructor appeared to have taken a serious injury.

The silver-haired man had gone to one knee, and he was choking up blood past the mask he wore. Internal injury. When? When had he sustained an internal injury?! Could he still fight? It didn't look like it. If he tried to keep going, he'd probably only make the injury worse and would likely only succeed in dying. Sakura had frozen solid beside her, Sasuke was tense to her left, and Naruto looked to be on the verge of panic.

The man they had been fighting, identified early on as a missing-nin from Kirigakure named Momochi Zabuza, stood before Kakashi-sensei, looking very pleased with himself. It infuriated her. The only reason he'd gotten the upper hand was because he had sneaked up on them in the thickness of the mist and targeted the four genin directly in an effort to throw off Kakashi-sensei's guard. If he hadn't fought dirty like a piece of trash, he would never have gotten that upper hand. Kakashi-sensei would've slaughtered him.

Well, she was pretty sure he would have, anyway.

There was barely a moment for her to jerk forward as the missing-nin abruptly swung his sword at Kakashi-sensei with the intent to slice him clean in half. Kaisuki felt movement beside her, and a second later Sasuke had appeared beside their jounin instructor, using a kunai to stop the swing of the huge blade. She could see his arms straining from the weight of Zabuza's raw strength, and she knew she had to move quickly.

"Sakura, stay with Tazuna!" She barked, startling the frozen girl out of her reverie as she darted forward, drawing several kunai and shuriken. With precision that easily rivaled that of Uchiha Sasuke, she let the blades fly, knowing that Zabuza would have to move in order to dodge all eight of them. And, as she had expected he would, the tall man dodged backwards. She went in low, drawing another kunai and aiming to get behind him - he wouldn't be able to swing his sword at her if she stayed close enough. It would put her at risk for execution-style jutsu, but she was willing to take that chance.

However, Zabuza stopped suddenly, much sooner than she had been prepared for, before he turned and swung at her while she was still far enough back that he could hit her with the wide reach of his blade. Kaisuki held up her kunai to block the swing of the sword, bracing herself for impact and fully expecting to be thrown pretty far (or, for that matter, sliced in half). That was what she got for trying to go in for a kill shot on a jounin-class missing-nin from the infamously violent Kirigakure.

Before that huge sword made contact, though, something slammed into her gut with enough force to knock all the air out of her lungs. Her back hit the ground, a surprising amount of weight landing on top of her. She had barely opened her eyes back up before she was being hauled to her feet.

Naruto didn't stop to ask her if she was alright, and the fact barely registered in her adrenaline-fueled brain. She turned back to where she knew Kakashi-sensei was. To her dismay, she saw that he had collapsed to the ground and wasn't getting back up. Sasuke was standing over him, and she could see that the Uchiha had a slight tremor in his hands. He had to be about as terrified as she was, as Naruto was... as all of them were. Their best chance of survival had been taken out because they were inadequate as shinobi and hadn't had their guard up enough to so much as try to defend themselves from that dirty play of Zabuza's.

She clenched her fist, feeling a burning anger that almost didn't feel like her own bubbling up in her gut. She wasn't inadequate. Neither was Sasuke. Naruto could step up when he needed to. She knew that for a fact. The shorter boy had saved her a couple of times already. She knew he would be able to step up again, as he just had moments ago.

But she also knew that she and Sasuke would work the best together as the front line. Naruto would be better suited follow their lead. She needed to get herself and Naruto over to Sasuke without Zabuza getting in the way. They needed some kind of distraction but she had no idea what she could use to do that.

" _Of course, you're also making all these plans assuming that Sasuke's going to actually listen to a word you say._ " Saeka spoke up from the depths of her mind. " _You shouldn't rely on him. He's a jerk, after all._ "

" _If he doesn't work with us, he'll die too._ " Kaisuki argued impatiently. She really didn't have time to fight with Saeka. Couldn't the deceased girl see that she was busy? " _He's not so stupid that he'd refuse to work with us in the face of_ _ **death**_ _. He was going to kill Itachi, remember? Not really possible if he's a_ _ **corpse**_ _._ "

Saeka didn't respond to that, and Kaisuki was extremely thankful for the lack of distractions. She needed to think. How could they-...

"Kage bunshin no jutsu!" Naruto's voice startled her a little. Only about a second had passed since she'd gotten up, and already the blonde had figured out what needed to happen. Two dozen clones appeared out of thin air, rushing at Zabuza in a frenzy, all at once. The man rolled his eyes impatiently, but Kaisuki didn't care. Naruto had given them a distraction, even if it only lasted two seconds.

Kaisuki wasted no time grabbing her best friend's wrist and yanking on him hard, pulling him towards frenzy before letting go of him. He knew what she was up to though, and followed her lead as they worked their way around the crowd of Narutos. In the thirty seconds it took Zabuza to dispel all of the clones, Naruto and Kaisuki had made it to Sasuke's side.

"Plan?" She asked him immediately, "We need to get rid of him fast, or Kakashi-sensei will bleed out internally."

"You think I don't know that?" Sasuke snapped in reply. His knuckles were white from how tightly he was gripping the kunai in his hand. "Naruto, hang back," the Uchiha commanded. His black eyes were darting around the area, and she could tell he was thinking fast. "If you notice we're about to get slaughtered, use those kage bunshins to buy us some time to get out of the line of fire. If you see an opening, exploit it quietly. Kaisuki, follow my lead."

Kaisuki nodded mutely, her throat tight. They were about to do battle with a jounin. If they messed up, they would all get slaughtered. Everything was happening so fast, but at the same time it felt like hours were passing by.

The mist was getting thicker. A lot thicker. Before Kaisuki had quite realized what was going on, everything beyond about a foot away from them was obscured by the thick fog. She was white-knuckling the handle in her hand to the point that it hurt. She felt sick. This wouldn't have been happening if she'd been paying attention earlier. Kakashi-sensei would've won if he hadn't had to look out for his teammates, if he hadn't had to use his body to defend them multiple times.

She felt movement to her left, immediately recognizing it as Sasuke. She glanced over at him, seeing his hands moving rapidly through two more hand seals, the end of a pattern she recognized as heat began to build up beside her.

"Katon: Goukakyu no jutsu!" Fire filled the area in front of them, stemming from Sasuke's lips. The heat made quick work of the mist, burning it away faster than it could form. Once the fireball had died, leaving a huge scorch mark in the ground, Kaisuki's heart dropped into her stomach.

They had _lost_ him.

"Shit." She heard Sasuke mutter beside her. She held her breath, listening carefully as she searched for the missing-nin. They weren't going to win like this. They might not win at all. She swallowed hard, clenching her jaw. Now wasn't really the time for her to be thinking negatively. She needed to be thinking strategically, and that was it.

" _Saeka... can you sense him?_ " She asked slowly, her shoulders stiffening. She didn't like asking Saeka for help in any situation. She didn't like relying on the unstable young girl. She didn't really like speaking to her at all, but she knew better than to ignore her.

Saeka didn't respond immediately, so Kaisuki let it go. If she answered eventually, she would. If she didn't, the Tsubaki was on her own. She felt Sasuke shift beside her, could sense Naruto's tension in the the air. The silence was deafening, and it was frightening to think that Zabuza was likely moving all over the place and they still couldn't hear him.

" _Three paces back at five o' clock._ "

Kaisuki's eyes widened - too close! - and she spun around, startling both Naruto and Sasuke as she let several kunai fly in the direction Saeka had specified. One of them had an exploding note attached to it, and the fire from the paper briefly illuminated Zabuza's position. The note exploded in midair, scattering more of the mist. Now, they could see Sakura and Tazuna a few meters away.

Sakura's face had never been so white in all the time Kaisuki had known her. She was endlessly proud of the girl for being as alert as she appeared to be. Kaisuki had been sort of expecting her to freeze up and stay that way, but apparently reminding her of her responsibility as a kunoichi had snapped her out of it.

All at once, a heavy weight slammed into her back, sending her stumbling and then falling a few feet forward. She hit the ground at the same time the sound of splitting flesh reached her, immediately followed by a clang of metal on metal.

Sakura shrieked, terror in her voice and panic written across her face when Kaisuki glanced her way, "NARUTO!!"

She rolled onto her back, sitting upright and taking in the scene before her. The color drained from her face all at once, her eyes widening and her lips parting in horror. Blood was spilling out of a wound in Naruto's shoulder, and the blonde's eyes were wide, his whole body frighteningly still. There was too much blood. Way too much blood. Zabuza's sword was still embedded in the genin's shoulder, and she could see that the man's intent had been to hack at least one of them into two pieces. It had been Sasuke's incredible reflexes that had saved Naruto's life. The Uchiha had stopped the swing of the blade - again - with a kunai. Zabuza's sword had sunk probably four inches into Naruto's shoulder, maybe more, maybe less. But Sasuke had stopped it from cleaving the blonde in half.

Naruto had just taken that blow for her. He had put himself in her place to save her, intending to sacrifice himself.

A bubbling anger was beginning to seep into her mind, and Kaisuki had no idea where it was coming from. She wasn't angry. She wasn't furious, even if her shaking fists and gritting teeth suggested otherwise. She was terrified, but her body was reacting on its own impulses. It was reacting on a burst of _hatred_ and _rage_ that didn't feel like it belonged to her. It didn't feel like it belonged to Saeka either, though, even though the heat filling her chest felt like Saeka's chakra. Even though she could hear the girl shrieking bloody murder in the background static of her mind. Even though she had every reason to think that it was the deceased girl.

_That's not Saeka... is it?_

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!"

Before she knew was was happening, her body was moving. Flashes of color and darkness combined into something completely impossible to discern. There was noise, screaming, yelling, something that sounded like an explosion. The sound of blood hitting the ground. The feeling of wetness, closely followed by the almost painful sensation of water boiling and evaporating off her skin. There was pain, and there was numbness, and fear filled her chest. She could hardly breath. She could feel her chest heaving with breaths laced with growls. Anger. So much anger. She was so angry.

_I'll show you what happens when you hurt my friends._

...

"Sakura!" Sasuke hollered across the clearing. He couldn't see her anymore. The fog had thickened again after Kaisuki had gone berserk, obscuring absolutely everything beyond about a foot away from him. He didn't have a clue where Kaisuki and Zabuza had gone off to. The fight had been seemingly dragged away from the area, the racket of their battle eventually dying down in the distance. He couldn't hear them clashing anymore at all, though that could mean a variety of things. He squinted through the mist, trying to locate that familiar spark of pink and red, but he couldn't see anything.

"Sakura!" He yelled again.

"Sasuke-kun?" He heard her call back, and he let out a sigh of relief before he realized what he was doing.

"Sakura, come here! Towards the water!" He called, and he could hear her footsteps alongside a heavier set. Tazuna-san was still with her. Thank god. They hadn't lost everything.

Sasuke looked down at the blonde laying on the ground in front of him, his heart in his throat. The damage to Naruto's shoulder was really bad. That sword had gone in deep. He hadn't moved quickly enough. He had been right there. He should've been able to prevent that blade from sinking in as deeply as it had.

_**Useless.** _

There was too much blood coming out of the wound itself. Sasuke couldn't tell because he wasn't an irou-nin, but he had a sickening feeling that Zabuza's blade may have cut into the artery supplying most of the blood to Naruto's left arm. He didn't think enough of the red stuff was coming out to suggest that the missing-nin had sliced said artery cleanly in half, but even if he had only nicked it, that was still too much damage to an artery.

Naruto might very well bleed out right here. Kakashi-sensei might die from his internal bleeding, as well. They wouldn't make it to Nami no Kuni in time to save either of them. They needed to deal with these injuries now, or Sasuke was going to lose two of his teammates.

_No. No._ _**No.** _

_**If we find the largest source of the bleed, we can give him more time.** _

He swallowed hard. He could heard Sakura approaching, but he ignored her. He needed to concentrate. He slowly peeled back Naruto's orange coat, which he'd been using to try and hold back the flow of blood, and gritted his teeth as a fresh onslaught of the red stuff came spilling out. There had to be a nicked artery in there somewhere.

Sakura made a sound somewhere between a strangled gasp and a sob. He could practically hear Tazuna-san's shock, even though the older man didn't make a sound. Sasuke didn't acknowledge their reactions - or lack thereof - at all. There was no time for emotional responses. "Light. Now."

Sakura didn't respond right away, and he immediately lost patience, "Sakura, light! Now!!" He didn't really mean to snarl at her, but couldn't she see that the situation was dire? Naruto didn't have time for her panic and her tears and overall _idiocy_.

He heard her fumbling around in her bag for a moment, eventually succumbing to Tazuna-san's assistance in digging through her bag, before producing a small candle-lantern. It would have to do. He waited, having resumed applying pressure to Naruto's wound, as Tazuna-san silently lit the lantern for her. His hands were much steadier than Sasuke would've expected.

"Hold that here," he instructed, "I need as much light as possible over this wound."

Tazuna-san handed Sakura the lantern once it was lit, and she quickly moved it to where the Uchiha needed it. Sasuke peeled back Naruto's coat again, uncovering the wound. He was about to go about hunting down the artery that had been gushing blood when he noticed that...

_It... stopped?_

_**Well, that's interesting.** _

Sasuke stared in confusion at the gaping wound in Naruto shoulder. It had been gushing blood a moment ago, and yet now it had completely stopped. The injury wasn't bleeding anymore at all. Naruto's face was still pallid and drawn with pain, and the wound itself was still wide open, but it had stopped bleeding. And, in fact, it seemed to have closed some since Sasuke had started applying pressure to it.

_"I don't know why the Hokage doesn't have him executed."_

_"That brat's nothing but a little demon."_

_"He shouldn't be allowed to live in the village."_

It felt like there was a rock in his throat. He never had figured out why everyone was so hateful towards Uzumaki Naruto. Now, however, he felt like he was seeing something without actually seeing it. He didn't know what it was, but there was something that he was missing. Some relatively important piece that would complete the picture explaining why everyone hated the blonde.

He flinched, pulling rudely from his thoughts, when he heard movement. He whirled around as he drew a kunai, gaze darting around the area in search of a threat. Sakura had jerked back rather violently, letting out a startled sound. He heard Tazuna-san's feet shift backwards, as if he was preparing to make a run for it. The fog was lifting quickly now that Zabuza was gone, and as whoever it was drew closer, Sasuke began to make out the person who had come through the underbrush several feet away.

Kaisuki looked exhausted. There was a tremor that seemed to wrack her whole body, and her breathing was shallow and uneven. Her bright red eyes were dulled with fatigue and she actually looked like she would pass out at any given moment. Sasuke slowly put his kunai away, staring at her uncertainly. Was that really Kaisuki? It looked like her. He could usually tell when she wasn't herself, and he had the sense that it was her he was looking at, but...

_I don't feel like I know her anymore._

_**That's probably because we don't.** _

"How is he?" Her voice was hoarse and he could hear how raw her throat was. He didn't have to ask to know who she was talking about. Sasuke glanced over his shoulder at the blonde for a moment, clenching his fists. He swallowed to wet his throat, looking back over at her.

"He's... fine, I think," he said slowly. "The bleeding stopped on its own."

Kaisuki didn't looked surprised to hear that. It sort of infuriated Sasuke, but he was so tired from all the adrenaline that had been rushing through his veins not five minutes ago, he didn't really have the energy to demand answers. He'd find out eventually.

"Kakashi-sensei..." Kaisuki spoke again, softer this time. "I... I don't... I mean..." She looked haunted by something. Anxiety was eating through his stomach. Something was wrong. Something was bothering her, or scaring her, or something. He couldn't really tell. He just didn't know her like he used to. Had Kakashi-sensei died? Was he beyond saving?

"He's... okay. I think." The black-haired girl finally conceded.

His mind blanked out briefly. Kakashi-sensei was going to be alright? It was a relief to hear, but he couldn't help being suspicious. It couldn't have been Saeka. He couldn't know for sure, but he didn't think she knew irou-ninjutsu. Nothing about her suggested that she might be able to heal injuries. She had the appearance of something that had been created for the sole purpose of fighting.

Someone else must have awakened within Kaisuki.

"What happened?" Tazuna-san, whom Sasuke had momentarily forgotten about due to his quietness, asked the obvious question at that moment. He sounded a bit confused, a bit wary. He couldn't have seen Kaisuki's rampage, but he had likely heard it. The girl hadn't exactly been quiet about it.

"I just..." she replied, tightening the pony-tail on the side of her head. She looked like she was having trouble stringing her sentences together. "He's... uh... he's been healed, a bit. Not... all the way, I don't think she had enough... uh, enough chakra for that," Kaisuki explained in fits and starts. Sasuke's eyes narrowed - his teammate had identified the mystery irou-nin as a "she." Wasn't really enough information for him to go anywhere, but no piece of information was useless, in his book.

"But... but he's out of danger. He's not bleeding internally anymore, and..." The girl started to trail off, "And the wound shouldn't reopen, even if we move him. That's... what... she said..."

"She?" Sakura questioned, her voice wavering a little. Sasuke resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

Kaisuki's gaze lowered to the ground. "I... haven't gotten a name yet."

So, it was someone new. If this incident was any indication, "she" didn't seem to have any ill intentions, but Sasuke wasn't about to start trusting the vengeful spirits residing in a Yurei. Especially a vengeful spirit residing in a Yurei alongside Saeka. He felt Naruto shift beside him, listening to the shorter boy groan softly. His teammate still had a gaping wound in his shoulder, and both he and Kakashi had lost a lot of blood. They both needed more comprehensive medical care.

"We shouldn't stay here." Sasuke finally said, "Tazuna-san, how far are the docks from here?"

The older man looked up from where he'd been staring at Naruto with a strange look in his eyes. He blinked for a moment, slowly processing the question. He seemed to be coming out a minor case of shock.

"Not far," the older man said slowly. "Less than a... uh... about a quarter mile up the bank, that way." He indicated the direction with a finger, and Sasuke nodded, standing up.

"Kaisuki, Sakura, stay here and keep an eye on Naruto and Kakashi." He told them, pulling back on his commanding tone of voice as much as he could. "Me and Tazuna-san will go get a boat. We'll be back as fast as we can."

Kaisuki nodded silently, looking downcast. He had no idea why she looked so unhappy. Whether she had intended it or not, she had chased away that missing-nin and saved all of their lives. Even if it had been Saeka who had done the fighting... they were alive because Kaisuki had gone on a rampage.

He wasn't endorsing her rampages by any means, but he knew that he'd be dead if it wasn't for her.

Kaisuki walked over to Naruto and knelt down beside him, "Sakura, you have the medical supplies right?" She asked, and the pink-haired girl nodded, understanding quickly. Sasuke watched as she pulled her backpack off and tore into it, pulling out the medical scroll and summoning forth their rather expansive supplies. Everything from sutures to gauze to tape and hemostats.

He should've thought of the medical supplies. Naruto was impossibly lucky.

"Ready?" Tazuna-san asked. He sounded a little shaky. Sasuke nodded silently, and the older man started walking towards the bank. He wasn't really ready. He needed a nap. A twelve hour, uninterrupted nap in which he didn't have any nightmares or night terrors.

_Wouldn't that be a treat._

"Be safe," he heard Kaisuki call after them. Sasuke bowed his head, slumping his shoulders a bit as he lifted a hand and waved over his shoulder. Tazuna-san turned around to wave at them, calling out a promise to return. Sasuke smiled to himself before he could tell himself not to, and he was eternally grateful that none of his teammates could see him.

_**I thought we weren't talking to them anymore.** _

It wasn't like he was going to be able to keep that up. It wasn't like he could just never speak to the people he was going to be stuck with indefinitely. It wasn't as though Kaisuki was going to disappear just because he had wanted her to. He wasn't even sure that he did want her to. At least, he wasn't sure anymore. He'd been so furious at the time, he'd been completely blinded by it. Now, he was just angry that he'd given in and started talking to them again.

But, in reality, it wasn't as though he would've been able to just never speak to them again. They were his team. He couldn't just switch to another team, and he wasn't going to quit the path of a shinobi. He was going to have to deal with it. He didn't have to like it. He didn't have to enjoy Kaisuki's company. He didn't have to make amends with her, as he was sure the Hokage had intended. But he had to work with them.

_**So we’re giving up, then.** _

He didn't have a choice. Especially in the circumstances that had been presented to him by this mission. He couldn't just not work with Naruto and Kaisuki when he was being faced by a jounin-class missing-nin who could slaughter him as though he were a five year-old. He had to work with them. He had to. The more he thought about it, the more he felt he didn't really mind working with them, but the fact that he didn't really mind sort of infuriated him.

_**As it should.** _

He hated the idea that he had lost the battle. He hated the idea that his hand had been forced in the way that it had. He hated Kaisuki, or at least he had convinced himself of that when she'd tried to tell him that maybe Itachi had a different - if not better - reason for murdering his clan. He had spent the past four years refusing to talk to her because of that. He had spent the past four years hating her. He didn't want to give in now. He had sort of committed to his current course, and if he backed out of it now, he was going to feel like an idiot.

_I suppose there's worse things in the world. Like dying, for example._

_**And being fundamentally betrayed by your best friend days after your whole family is killed off by your older brother.** _

He didn't really think the rest of the team would hold it against him, considering how hard two out of the three of them had been trying to get him to stop ignoring them. He didn't think Kaisuki would refuse to forgive him, because that really just wasn't her style. He didn't really believe Naruto would turn into an unbearable jerk, because he just wasn't like that. He couldn't imagine that Sakura would change in any way, because she harbored the most ridiculous crush on him. Kakashi-sensei would probably be rather relieved if he woke up from almost dying to find that his almost-death hadn't been in vain.

_**So, what, you're really going to just start talking to them again? Pretend as if nothing ever went awry?** _

_No, I'm..._

_**What kind of naive idiot are you? They're not your friends. They're your colleagues. People on a quest for vengeance don't need or want friends, remember? You decided that years ago. Are you going to back out already?** _

_No! I'm not... I'm not giving up. I just..._

He didn't want to be alone anymore.

_**Pathetic.** _

Sasuke clenched his fists in his pockets and jerked himself out of his thoughts. He couldn't really afford to be up in the clouds right now. He was Tazuna-san's only escort at the moment. If he flaked out and they were attacked by someone, the two of them would be dead in an instant. The Uchiha straightened his back, looking around. How far had they walked? How much time had passed? He glanced towards Tazuna-san out of the corner of his eye, but the older man was a step ahead of him and therefore couldn't see him.

He needed to stop spacing out. It was becoming problematic. He didn't know how much time he was losing, and he didn't know how much of his environment he was missing. It wasn't exactly smart for a shinobi in a dangerous situation to lose track of where he was and what was going on. He would get himself killed doing that. He'd get everyone killed doing that.

"There are the docks," Tazuna-san said, his voice lowered somewhat. Sasuke looked up, spotting the docks in question right away. There were people standing around them, though none looked particularly threatening. He could likely take out any of the four people standing around on the docks. It looked like most of them were leaving the area anyway. Tazuna-san waved as they approached, an act which only furthered Sasuke's tension. Obviously this guy didn't have a clue what "target of missing-nin" meant.

He had probably lost about half an hour of their trip.

_**Yea, because you keep talking to yourself. Pay attention, you moron.** _

_Shut up._


	4. break through

"How good are you at chakra control, Kaisuki?" Kakashi-sensei suddenly asked as they trudged through the woods on the outskirts of town at some ungodly hour of the morning. "You were out of the academy long enough that the file they have on you isn't really relevant anymore."

Kaisuki looked up at him, blinking in confusion. How on earth was _that_ relevant? Was he going to teach them something they would need chakra for? He hadn't specified what the purpose of their excursion was, nor had he explained why they had been forced to roll out of bed before the sun had risen. Their instructor never seemed to want to tell them what he was planning beforehand. It was probably one of the most irritating things in the universe.

"Uh, pretty good, I suppose," she replied, thinking about it for a moment. "I can make like, six or seven bunshin at once. I can't maintain them for very long, though."

"Not enough chakra?" Kakashi-sensei asked, sparing her a glance. The bit of his face that she could see still looked pretty pale. He'd lost a lot of blood, and they hadn't been able to give him a transfusion. He was simply lucky that Kaisuki apparently had an irou-nin stashed away somewhere inside.

"No," she answered, returning her gaze to the barely-worn path they were following. She had no idea where they were supposed to be going. They'd been walking through the woods for nearly ten minutes. "I just have a hard time maintaining control of my chakra, I think."

"You think?" Sasuke repeated from behind her, "How do you not know?"

Kaisuki huffed out a breath and shot him a half-hearted glare. He raised an eyebrow, waiting expectantly for her reply. "I _do_ know. I just... I dunno. I feel like it's weird that I can't maintain control like that."

"It's not weird," Sakura chimed in. "There are some people who can't use their chakra at all. Do you remember Rock Lee from the class ahead of us?"

"I can't control my chakra for crap," Naruto spoke up, and Kaisuki looked over at him. He was smiling encouragingly. He knew all about her insecurities regarding her abilities, and he tried all the time to persuade her to think differently about herself. She always appreciated his efforts, and they sometimes made her feel a little better, but in the long run it didn't help much.

"So don't worry about it, Kaisuki. You weren't in the academy long enough to start learning proper chakra control technique, so it makes perfect sense that you might need to work on it." He told her, looking determined to make her change her mind, as he often did during these types of discussions. She wanted to look away. "You should stop thinking about what you're bad at and remember that you taught yourself how to do it. That's not easy, y'know."

Kaisuki nodded, frowning. She still didn't like the fact that her chakra control was only perfect for about ten minutes, give or take a few depending on the jutsu she was preforming. She could hold a henge forever. Her record for holding a bunshin was twelve minutes and forty-two seconds. She hadn't tried any other long-term jutsu because she hadn't learned any. The henge and the bunshin were taught in the academy, so she'd asked Naruto to teach her. It was because of him that she was so good at the henge.

She had no real reason to feel insecure about her abilities, and she knew it. After all, she was friends with Naruto, who was a much bigger klutz than she could ever hope to be. Still though, it was thoughts like that that nagged at the back of her mind whenever she messed something up.

" _You never give yourself any credit, Kaisuki. You've worked really hard to get where you are now. And, unlike the rest of your team, you weren't taught how._ " Saeka said, sounding bored. " _Also, where the hell are you guys going? Is Hatake-san leading you out to some secluded area to kill you all?_ "

Kaisuki had to work not to laugh out loud. They'd been in Nami no Kuni for three days now, and she and Saeka had been on tense but relatively friendly terms for the entire time. She didn't actually know what had calmed the young girl down, but she was thankful for it. Kaisuki had long since figured out and understood the reasoning behind her family's murder, and she had mostly forgiven Saeka. She was still extremely wary of the girl, and she still held a certain amount of a grudge against her for what she had done to Kaisuki's home life, but they were getting along now. The part of her that almost hated Saeka was quiet for once. The part of her that was terrified of Saeka barely ever reminded her that it existed anymore.

She felt better about Saeka overall, and it was a great feeling. She just wished she could know how the change had come about, because she really wanted to give whatever or whoever was responsible the credit they deserved.

" _Maybe. He does need a transfusion._ " Saeka laughed at her quip, and Kaisuki couldn't help smiling.

"What's funny?" Naruto suddenly asked from beside her. She looked up over at him, working to erase the expression from her face and failing entirely as Saeka added to their little joke.

" _Maybe he's gonna turn you all into human scarecrows._ " She covered her mouth as she let out a laugh, wishing she could un-make the sound. Kakashi-sensei looked down at her, and she could feel Sakura and Sasuke's eyes on her back.

"Ah, ha, um..." she mumbled uncertainly.

" _Just tell them that I'm hilarious._ " Saeka prodded, " _Go on. Hey, you can ask Hatake-san if he's gonna make himself some scarecrows out in these woods._ "

Kaisuki coughed in an effort to conceal the urge to grin. "It's... Saeka." She finally conceded, "We're kidding around."

Naruto's eyes brightened immediately at that, and Kaisuki couldn't help smiling at him. His face split into a wide grin, "Oh? Oh? What's she saying? Tell me!"

The red-eyed girl chuckled, "Oh, well, Saeka was asking if Kakashi-sensei was leading us out into the woods for slaughter... and then I said he _did_ need a transfusion, and her response to that was... ah, what was it?"

"' _Maybe he's gonna turn you all into human scarecrows._ '" Saeka offered up helpfully.

"'Maybe he's gonna turn you all into human scarecrows,'" she said, thanking Saeka in her head. Naruto immediately started laughing, and she could tell he'd been holding it in for the punchline. Apparently, she hadn't disappointed. She could hear Sakura giggling as well, and she couldn't help but smile once she was sure that she hadn't upset anyone.

"You four wouldn't make very scary scarecrows," Kakashi-sensei commented, and Kaisuki could practically hear him smiling. "I'd have better luck making rugs."

Naruto burst into renewed laughter, digging his fist into his gut as he gasped for air. Kaisuki chuckled.

"Jeez, Naruto, don't die on us." Sakura teased. The blonde coughed several times, eventually calming down, though he kept laughing on and off for several minutes. His eyes were watering. Kaisuki hadn't realized that Saeka, Kakashi-sensei, and herself were that funny. Then, she recalled that Naruto tended to overreact with every emotion, so where others would giggle, apparently he would burst out laughing for five minutes straight.

Once the blonde had sufficiently calmed himself down, he spoke up again. "I'm glad you two are getting along now. She seemed pretty nice when I spoke to her before."

Kaisuki nodded in agreement, smiling widely. She hadn't been in a mood this great in a long time. "I'm glad too. She's got a great sense of humor."

" _Aww, thanks._ " She heard the girl say, and Kaisuki was very happy to hear that she brightened Saeka's day further. She knew that the girl had some issues with anger, obviously, but she also knew that Saeka frequently retreated to the back of Kaisuki's subconscious and cried for hours and hours and hours. Sometimes, she would disappear for days.

Kaisuki didn't know much about Saeka. She didn't know where she came from, or who had hurt her so terribly, or even who she was, really. There were a couple of small details she had known seemingly instinctively - how long Saeka had been dead, as well as what kind of vengeful spirit she was. And that was it. She hadn't even had a good feel for the girl's true personality until very recently.

" _Anytime, Saeka._ " She returned, her expression softening. She had been endeared to Saeka in a very short amount of time. She wasn't entirely sure how she'd been able to make such a turn around with her opinion, but she was very glad that she had. Kaisuki was a firm believer that everyone, no matter their history or their personality, deserved to be treated with kindness. She believed that everyone deserved to be listened to, and respected, and loved.

Kaisuki genuinely hoped that maybe one day she could find a way to offer sincere kindness to as many people as she could meet in her lifetime. She wanted to touch people's lives. She wanted to make a positive impression on those who were lost. She wanted to help people find their way.

For now, though, she'd just have to stick with the ones closest to her heart.

"How did you calm her down?" Sasuke's voice floated up from the back of the group. He had spoken rather quietly. Not subdued, or low enough that no one could hear him, but he wasn't quite at speaking volume.

Kaisuki spun around and linked arms with Naruto, so she could walk backwards without running into anyone or anything. Sasuke looked troubled. He was looking at Kakashi-sensei's heels, and he looked fairly downcast. She knew what he was thinking about. Saeka had tried to kill him seven times, and she'd put him in the hospital three of those times. Sasuke had received the brunt of Saeka's mood swings and anger, and Kaisuki still didn't know why.

"I don't know, Sasuke." She replied after a beat. The Uchiha looked up at her, frowning. "I didn't do anything. I gather she just..."

" _His chakra reminds me of... someone I hate._ " Saeka spoke so softly, Kaisuki almost couldn't hear her. She stopped talking as soon as she heard the girl's voice, straining her senses to hear what she said. She swallowed hard. Someone Saeka hated?

" _Would you tell me about it, sometime?_ " Kaisuki asked gently, " _You don't have to right now. You can wait until you're ready._ "

Saeka didn't respond to that, but Kaisuki didn't feel her swell with anger at all. Instead, it felt as though Saeka was slinking away. She could feel the girl's discomfort and she knew she had mistakenly upset the girl.

" _Saeka,_ " she called softly, warmly. " _I'm sorry I upset you. Look after yourself, okay?_ "

There was a long silence before she heard a quiet, barely audible reply. " _I will._ "

"Kaisuki?" She was pulled suddenly back to reality, and she blinked and looked around. They had stopped walking and she hadn't even noticed. Naruto had pulled his arm free and was watching her carefully. Her eyes were watering a little. She sniffled a bit and rubbed them dry on the back of her sleeve.

"Sorry," she muttered. "I was talking to her."

Sasuke crossed his arms, and Kaisuki watched his fingers curl tightly around his biceps. He didn't look angry, but he looked extremely tense. Whenever Saeka came up, he became nervous. Kaisuki hoped she'd be able to turn around his opinion of Saeka eventually. She didn't like that he often seemed uncomfortable or anxious around her, as if he thought she would turn into Saeka on a dime and try to kill him again.

Sasuke was stubborn in his opinions, though. It'd be hard to change his mind about someone who had tried to kill him on multiple occasions.

"What'd she say?" The Uchiha wanted to know. Kaisuki glanced over at Naruto, who was watching her carefully, looking mildly concerned. She must've looked really upset.

"She said that your chakra reminds her of someone she hates." Kaisuki replied with a slight shrug. "I don't know who she was referring to, though. I don't know why your chakra reminds her of that person, either. If it's alright with her, I'll let you know as soon as I do."

Sasuke didn't look happy about that. He averted his gaze towards a tree to his right and let out a huff. "It's not like that's _my_ fault." He grumbled.

"That's probably why she hasn't tried to kill you lately. In case you hadn't noticed." Kaisuki snapped at him. He glared at her, and she returned the gaze ten-fold. "She had absolutely no self-control back then. I don't know why, and I don't know what changed, but she's... Look, I didn't forgive her for murdering my family because she said 'sorry,' Sasuke. I forgave her because I understand why she did it. You'd get it if you could feel what she feels the way I do. You'd be less afraid if you'd take the time to try and understand her."

Before Sasuke could snarl at her as she could tell he was about to, Naruto spoke up very loudly, "God, would you both quit it? Kaisuki, Sasuke's not gonna agree with you or change his mind until he has a huge boatload of evidence that Saeka's really made a turnaround. Just leave it, okay? He'll come around eventually."

"The hell I will," Sasuke muttered under his breath.

Kakashi-sensei let out a mildly irate sigh, "Sasuke, that's enough. Stop trying to pick a fight."

Sasuke glared at him indignantly, "I'm not trying to start a fight."

"Sure you aren't." Was the highly sarcastic reply. Sasuke gritted his teeth, but didn't reply. Kaisuki had already heard the story about his last adventure fighting Kakashi-sensei. She turned her attention away from him, biting her tongue hard. She felt like she wanted to cry, and her head was _pounding_ all of a sudden. She reached up and tightened her side ponytail, brushing her bangs out of her eyes. The throbbing was deep in the back of her head, and she did her best to block it out. She'd take a drill to Sasuke's head to get her point through his thick skull later.

_Again with the morbidity. What is wrong with me, lately?_

"Are you okay, Kaisuki?" Sakura asked, and she looked over at the pink-haired girl. She smiled weakly at her.

"Yea, I just... I have a bit of a headache, is all." She explained, "I get them sometimes. It'll go away in a little while."

Kakashi-sensei used his free hand (as the other was working a crutch) to adjust the mask he wore. He sighed, "Alright. Now that we're done laughing and fighting, let's get to work." He said seriously. All four of them turned their attention to their instructor, listening to his every word. Naruto looked rather excited, but if they were learning some new technique, she didn't blame him at all. She had been quite pumped for it earlier. Through her stagnant irritation at Sasuke, she could feel the small flame of excitement slowly growing.

"Today, I'm going to teach you how to walk up trees." Kakashi-sensei stated, "If you ever payed any attention in the academy, you should know what I mean by that."

"I didn't pay attention," Naruto said boldly. "So please explain, Kakashi-sensei!"

Their instructor rolled his eyes, "Mold some chakra and send it to the bottom of your feet," he began. He looked like he was having a little bit of difficulty finding the right words to explain himself. He probably didn't want to go into extreme detail, lest Naruto float away into his daydreaming land.

"You have to have the right amount of chakra at the bottoms of your feet to stick to the tree. It varies a little bit depending on how much you weigh. The four of you will probably end up using about the same amount of chakra." Kakashi told them, "It might help if you mold some chakra to your hands first and see how much you need to stick. It's always easier to get chakra to your-..."

Naruto cut him off suddenly, "Alright! I'm ready!"

"Naruto, don't run up the tree. You'll hurt yourself," Sakura cut in immediately. "Figure out how to do it first and then start trying to climb. If you fall down from too high, you'll die."

Naruto flushed a little. His crush on Sakura was as strong as ever. "O-okay, Sakura-chan," he replied sheepishly. She smiled a little, glancing over at the tall trees around them.

"You'll be done with this training when you can get all the way up the tree," Kakashi-sensei said. "I'll hang around for a while, but I'm gonna head back before you do. Keep at it, though."

"Are you feeling okay?" Sakura asked concernedly. "You're not in any pain, are you? Do you want one of us to walk back with you?"

Kakashi-sensei smiled at her a little. He didn't look quite embarrassed by her worry, but there was something close to that reflecting in his dark eyes. Perhaps he was just extremely happy that his team was so worried about him. Perhaps he really was embarrassed by it. "I'm just tired, Sakura. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" Kaisuki asked, her brow furrowing, "You look really pale. Maybe I could get... Shiranai to give you a once-over."

"I'll be fine, you two." Kakashi-sensei said in exasperation. "I'm going to be hanging around for a couple of hours, remember? I'll rest up before I head back, and then I'll probably go back to sleep."

Kaisuki and Sakura were very obviously not convinced, and they exchanged a worried glance. They didn't say anything further, though, understanding that their instructor didn't think he needed their help. If he changed his mind, they'd be around. Hopefully, he wouldn't collapse on his way back to Tazuna-san's house.

"Anyway, you two get busy. Sasuke and Naruto have already gotten started." Kakashi-sensei said, waving them off. Kaisuki glanced behind her, and indeed Naruto and Sasuke had their hands pressed to the truck of two separate trees, eying each other's progress on and off. She could've laughed. They really had become friends.

_Rivals is probably a better word, though._

Kaisuki looked over at Sakura one more time before she smiled slightly and walked over to another tree. She pressed her hands against it, closing her eyes and taking a moment to still herself as much as possible. When it came to new techniques, she always found it easier if she calmed herself and stilled her mind and body. It was difficult at times, but she managed.

Once she had sufficiently tuned out the rest of the world, she started collecting chakra to her palms. A very small amount at first, before she slowly began increasing the quantity of chakra she was pushing to her hands. It felt strange. She hadn't used any techniques that forced her to mold chakra quite this precisely. It was extremely difficult to keep her chakra at a steady incline, and they weren't sticking at all. Eventually, she could see smoke coming from under her hands and she yanked them back quickly. There was a scorch mark on the tree, and she had left a very visible pair of hand prints in the bark. She didn't have a clue what she was doing wrong, but evidently Kakashi-sensei had left out some important detail.

"Ah, fuck it!" She heard Naruto holler, and she turned around in time to see him sprinting full force at the tree.

"Naruto! I said _don't_ -...!" Sakura's voice cut across the field, but Naruto ignored her. He made it ten paces up the tree before he lost control of his chakra and came falling back down. Because he hadn't been very high up, though, he managed to land it without hurting himself.

"Okay, see, it's way easier to do it that way!" He said loudly, "This is how I'm gonna do it!"

She shook her head, "Just be careful, Naruto. I mean it."

He shot her a grin, "I know! Don't worry, Kaisuki. I'm really tough!"

"That's not what I meant."

He took several steps back from the tree again, this time going further back so he could get more momentum, and pulled out a kunai. Kaisuki watched him start running towards the tree again before she sighed and turned her attention back her to own tree.

After a moment of deliberation, she pulled out a kunai and took a couple of steps back. She started walking towards the tree, carefully placing one foot on the truck. As it had been with her hands, she couldn't feel her chakra sticking at all, so she channeled more chakra to the soles of her feet.

She pulled her foot back and stared at the trunk. Her palms had been easy, so why couldn't she do it with her feet? She ought to at least be able to get one foot to stick, right? Kaisuki stared at her feet, furrowing her brow. This was actually sort of annoying. She glanced over at Sasuke and Naruto. Sasuke had adopted Naruto's method, interestingly enough. She would've thought his pride wouldn't allow him to do that. They were getting further and further up the tree though, and they didn't seem to be having any trouble.

 _This is what I get for dropping out of the academy._ She thought in frustration. She glanced in the direction Sakura had walked, but she didn't see the pink-haired girl anywhere. Almost dreading what she was going to see, she looking up higher into the branches. Surely enough, she was already halfway up the tree, and she was still walking with no problem.

It made sense though. Sakura had been, and apparently continued to be the best at chakra control amongst her peers. She didn't have an abundance of chakra, but she made up for it with a precision that rivaled that of the prodigious Uchiha Itachi.

She turned away from the tree and started walking towards Kakashi-sensei. He was watching Naruto and Sasuke with an amused look in his tired eyes. He saw her approaching and looked over at her as she walked up to him.

"You left out some detail." She stated immediately. "I missed out on the last four years of the academy. I don't know anything about chakra control and how it works. Will you... fill me in?"

Kakashi-sensei stared at her for a long moment, before he sighed and nodded, "Yea, I can do that." He said, "For this particular technique, there's two parts. First, you expel chakra through the soles of your feet, as I said before. At the same time you're expelling that chakra, you have to be pulling it back in. That's what makes you stick."

"How do I pull chakra back?" She asked, confused, "I thought only certain people had that ability."

"No," Kakashi-sensei stated. "Only certain people can steal others' chakra. Pulling your own chakra back into your body when it's still in close proximity to you is actually quite easy. I saw you were trying the palm exercise. When you finished, did you retract the chakra you had sent to your palms, or did you just let it out?"

Kaisuki blinked. She _had_ pulled that chakra back in, but she hadn't let it out of her body, either. "I didn't actually send any chakra outside of my body." She told him.

"Ah, that's where you're making mistakes." He replied. "Imagine that you're pulling on a sock or a glove made of chakra. That's the effect you're looking for. You wrap the chakra around your feet, and you pull back on that sock while you're pushing out. What happens is, as your chakra is being pulled back into your feet, it sort of creates this kind of suction, which is given mostly by your weight. That's why the amount of chakra used is variable per person."

Kaisuki wasn't entirely sure she was following what he was saying. "A sock or a glove." She repeated. He nodded at her. She _sort of_ understood what he meant... probably. His words mostly made sense, but she was still largely confused. Iruka-sensei had been a much better teacher.

"Thanks. I'll give it a shot." She said after a beat.

"Good luck." He said as she turned around. She shot him a quick smile, though it was incredibly fake, and headed back to her tree.

A sock or a glove, huh? She frowned at the truck before her. She'd just have to give it a shot and see what happened. She closed her eyes, tuning out everything around her, and started sending chakra to her feet. As Kakashi-sensei had told her to do, she let it out enough to wrap it around the bottom of her feet. That part was easy. Now, she needed to multitask with her chakra control.

She pulled back on the chakra in her feet, but she did it too fast and too hard. So she tried again, and again, and again. Just when she was getting to the brink of her patience and was getting ready to set the tree in front of her on fire, she felt her heels suddenly pull to the ground and stick. When she tried to lift her leg, it wouldn't budge.

So she would have to let the chakra in her feet go before she could take steps. This was going to be way, way over-complicated. But she was sure that once she got it down, it'd be a cakewalk. She pulled the chakra in her feet back enough to undo the stick, and set it to the tree. She increased the amount of chakra output, and sure enough, her foot stuck to the tree. A smile spread across her face. She had done it! And unlike Naruto and Sasuke, she had done it relatively correctly!

She started walking up the truck, taking each step very slowly. Within about two minutes, though, she had the pattern down and she had made it about two meters off the ground. Naruto and Sasuke were ahead of her in terms of distance up their trees, but they were also sprinting up the trunks like madmen. She returned her attention to her task and continued up the tree. She wasn't walking very fast, though her pace increased a little every five steps. The faster she could do the pattern, the easier it would become to do it at all.

She made it probably four meters up her tree before she lost her grip. She was simply lucky that she had fast reflexes and was able to catch herself with a shuriken and wire. But she wasn't disheartened. The fact that she had made it up as far as she had only proved to inspire her to try harder. She was doing much better now that she knew what she was supposed to be doing, and how it was supposed to work. She could do this. She just needed to keep trying. Maintaining her chakra was extremely difficult over time, but she needed to learn how to do it, and this was probably the best way.

So, despite making many mistakes, she powered through her frustration and kept at it.

_You go, girl._

...

Naruto and Sasuke had gotten back ridiculously late. They had made it up their trees, but they had exhausted themselves thoroughly in the process. The walk back to Tazuna-san's had been excruciating. Naruto had never been so sore in his life.

The following morning, he felt rejuvenated, as he usually did after a night's sleep. Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei were already up. He must've slept in later than he meant to. The blonde threw his clothes on and headed out into the dining area, excited to tell Kaisuki that he had mastered the skill of horizontal walking.

Walking into the room, he noticed two things right away. Firstly, Sasuke looked pretty rejuvenated as well, which surprised him. How late had they slept in? Secondly, Kaisuki wasn't up yet. He was a little disappointed to see that his best friend wasn't awake, but he also knew that no one ever recovered from exhaustion as quickly as he did (except Sasuke, apparently). Also, if she wasn't awake yet, Sasuke hadn't told her about their success yet. So, it wasn't necessarily a bad thing that she had slept in.

"Morning, Naruto," Sakura-chan greeted with a smile. "You look like you feel great."

"I do!" He exclaimed excitedly, sitting down beside Sasuke at the table. "I got all the way up the tree last night! I mean, it took forever, but I did it! I'm pumped to tell Kaisuki."

Sakura-chan chuckled lightheartedly, "I'm glad you feel so much better."

"Thanks, Sakura-chan," he replied, his face heating up a little. God, he was so uncool. He really need to take a page out of Sasuke's book. Maybe he should dye his hair black and stop wearing orange. Maybe then Sakura-chan would notice him the way he wanted her to.

The lady of household, Tsunami-san, casually walked over to the table, smiling as she usually did. She placed a heaping plate of breakfast in front of Naruto, "My father is going to start working on the bridge again today. You should be well-fed if you're going to be protecting him." She said, winking. Naruto blushed helplessly with a wide grin on his face.

"Ah, thank you, Tsunami-san!" Naruto said gratefully, digging in immediately. He _was_ starving. Tazuna-san's grandson, Inari, was nowhere in sight this particular morning, Naruto noticed. Usually he was already up by the time Naruto arrived in the dining and living area, sitting around waiting for the opportune moment to start acting like a brat.

Hopefully, he had talked some sense into the kid the other day. He hadn't really seen him since then, though Tsunami-san had already told him not to worry. Inari had apparently been taking long walks in an effort to avoid him. He sort of felt bad, but then he would remember the nasty things the kid had said and his regret would ease up. Inari would get over it in his own time.

"Kaisuki's sleeping in pretty late, today." Sasuke remarked as he glanced towards the clock on the wall. Naruto followed his gaze. It was pretty late in the morning. He had slept in a _lot_ later than he'd meant to. Kaisuki was usually up ridiculously early - often enough, she woke up before Kakashi-sensei. So for her to be sleeping in this late was worrisome.

Having finished his breakfast, Naruto swiftly leaped out of his seat and washed his plate off. "I'm gonna go check on her," He proclaimed. Sakura-chan and Sasuke raised eyebrows at him, whilst Kakashi-sensei just watched him attentively. He flushed slightly. "What? She runs fevers sometimes, so I want to make sure she's not sick!"

Sakura-chan blinked at that, "Oh," she said slowly. "Does she get them a lot?"

He shook his head, "Not really? She gets them when she's stressed or she's exhausted herself too much. It's 'cause she doesn't sleep well."

"Oh," Sakura-chan replied, looking a little concerned. "I didn't notice anything was wrong with her when I got up... I thought she was just tired from all that hard work yesterday."

"It's alright," Naruto said. "She'll be fine in a day or two if she's sick. I just want to make sure she doesn't need anything."

Sasuke turned his gaze to his hands. He'd been staring at them more or less since Naruto had walked into the room. He'd probably been doing it all morning, and the blonde had no idea why. "Well, if you're gonna check on her, go check on her." He said, waving his teammate away. Naruto glared at him.

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Shut up, Sasuke." He grunted, "I'm going, okay?"

"Let me know if anything's wrong," Tsunami-san spoke up from where she was washing up plates in the sink. He looked over at her, blinking. "I have some home remedies that can help a fever."

He nodded enthusiastically, "Thanks, Tsunami-san."

The blonde stepped out of the living area and into the hallway towards the back of the house, turning left to head for the room the girls had been sharing. He didn't hear anything coming from the room, so she probably was sleeping. He hoped she wasn't in a state of undress. That'd be awkward as hell, and he'd probably get punched.

 _Well, actually, Kaisuki would probably laugh instead of hitting me._ He reasoned with himself, _Sakura-chan is the one who would hit me._

He walked up to the door and knocked. After a moment of not hearing anything, he slowly eased the door open and peered inside. He couldn't even see her anywhere. She must've been on the side of the room behind the door. He stepped into the room as quietly as he could on the creakiest floorboards in the history of floorboards, and looked for the second bed. Surely enough, Kaisuki was lying on the bed on the side of the room that had been hiding behind the door.

"Kaisuki?" He called quietly, "Kaisuki, are you feeling alright?"

He heard her make a quiet sound that wasn't quite a sob, but wasn't necessarily _not_ a sob. Immediately growing more concerned, he walked up to the bed and slowly peeled back the blankets. "Kaisuki?"

She was curled up in fetal position under the pile of blankets, and she was shaking. He could hear her making thin, pathetic sounds of emotional distress. He knew what Kaisuki sounded like when she was in pain, and this wasn't that. She was hurting in some other way.

"Kaisuki, can you hear me?" He said, pulling the covers down enough so her head was exposed. He placed a hand on her shoulder and shook her as gently as he could. "Hey, you in there?"

Her shaking stilled for a moment, and she slowly started unraveling herself a little. When she lifted her head to look at him, his heart dropped into his stomach as anxiety washed over him. He knew immediately what was wrong.

Sometimes, Kaisuki would have fits of mild to severe hysteria. She'd cry, and sometimes she'd pull her hair and Naruto would have to keep her from hurting herself. Sometimes, she would snarl and yell at him for no reason, only to immediately go to pieces on the floor of her apartment. These fits had only started within the last nine months or so, and neither of them knew what caused them.

She was shaking again as she looked up at him, but then he realized it wasn't her he was looking at. Her eyes flickered green for a second before returning to their normal red, and she let out an agonized sound and fisted her hands into her hair. She sobbed again, curling back into herself tightly. Naruto gently reached over and grabbed her wrists, squeezing them to get her to let go of her hair.

"Can you talk to me?" He said as gently and kindly as he could. "What's wrong?"

She whispered something completely unintelligible, and he leaned in a little closer so he could hear her better. "I can't really hear you," he told her carefully. She somehow curled into herself even tighter, her shaking exacerbated by the stiffness of her muscles. Naruto's heart ached. He hated seeing her like this.

There was a pause before she slowly started unraveling herself again. She looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears that streamed down her face, her lower lip trembling. The look in her eyes reminded Naruto of a trapped animal begging to be saved, or someone who was in a _lot_ of pain.

"It hurts," she whispered, her voice hoarse. She sounded as though she'd been screaming all night, but Naruto knew she hadn't been. "It hurts."

"What hurts?" He inquired softly.

"My... chest..." she mumbled. More tears started spilling down her cheeks, and she sobbed again, pressing her face into her hands. Naruto crouched down beside the bed, gingerly reaching over and touching her head, stroking her hair.

He opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off when she wailed, "I'm _dead_! I'm _dead_ and it _hurts_! It isn't..." she choked on a sob, crying louder than she had been before and digging her nails into her face wherever her fingertips touched. Naruto quickly grabbed her hands and pulled them away from her face, and she didn't resist him at all.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," he said, feeling rather helpless. "I know it hurts, but you're okay, I swear it. You'll be okay." He paused, trying to think of what he could talk to her about to try and take her mind off the evident pain in her chest. "What's your name?"

She looked at him again, stricken. She sniffled a little, and her eyes flashed green again. This time, though, they stayed green. "M-Miyamoto... Izumi." She whispered, her voice cracking.

"Are you the one who helped Kakashi-sensei? The guy with the mask?" He questioned, watching her carefully. She swallowed, looking like she felt a bit sick, but she nodded.

"Is he... alright?" She asked softly. "He is, right?"

"He's fine," Naruto said quickly, smiling at her. "Thank you for saving him. Are you an irou-nin?"

"Yes," she replied quietly. "I'm from Tsukigakure."

Naruto blinked. Tsukigakure was in Tsuki no Kuni, an island in the southern parts of the Kaijuu Ocean. Supposedly, they were an isolationist state that had nothing to do with anyone around them. Several excursions had been made to establish contact with them in the past, but no replies had ever been returned. It'd been one of the few fascinating stories the academy had had to offer.

He talked to Izumi for a while before she showed signs of starting to calm down. The tears slowly came to a stop, and instead of crying uncontrollably, it seemed like she couldn't keep herself from falling asleep. So he softened his voice more and more until they were whispering very quietly to each other, until she was no longer kept awake by the sound of his voice, and fell asleep.

He glanced at the clock in the room. He'd been talking to her for almost forty-five minutes. He hoped the rest of his team hadn't left without him. He quietly left Kaisuki and Sakura's room, closing the door behind him, and stepped back out into the living area. Tsunami was standing outside - he could see her through the window over the kitchen sink. It looked like she was watering her small garden. The rest of the team was nowhere in sight. He sighed loudly. They couldn't have just waited for him, could they?

"They left already." He turned at the sound of Inari's sulky voice. He raised an eyebrow at the kid, daring him to be nasty like he had the other day. He'd punch him in the head again if he had to.

But Inari didn't look particularly agitated. He looked up at Naruto. He still looked bitter and unhappy, but there was a shine to his eyes that hadn't been there two days ago. Naruto smiled at him, which only persuaded the kid to look at him like he was insane.

"What's wrong with that girl?" He wanted to know. Naruto blinked, then frowned.

"She's... sick, sort of. I want you and your mom to leave her alone." Naruto told him seriously. The kid looked surprised. He must've thought Naruto was always an over-excited idiot. If only he knew. "If anything happens, you come running to the bridge to let us know, okay?"

Slowly, Inari nodded. "Yea, okay." He mumbled, "Is she going to be alright?"

Naruto grinned reassuringly, "She should be fine. She just needs to be left alone, so don't worry."

"I didn't say I was worried." Inari grumbled, and Naruto snorted, shaking his head.

"Yea, okay, Inari." He said, winking. The kid glared at him, and he laughed. "I have to head out to the bridge. I'll see you later!" He waved on his way out the door, and Inari waved back.

"Are you leaving now?" Tsunami-san asked when she looked up and saw him, "How is Kaisuki?"

"She should be alright," he replied. "She just needs to be left alone. I told Inari to let us know if anything happens. She's not sick, she's just... not well." It was hard to explain Kaisuki's condition without telling anyone that she was Yurei. She had specifically asked the team not to tell anyone about it when they left the village.

_"If they find out circumstantially, that's fine. But if they don't see it, don't tell them."_

He sort of understood where she was coming from. He didn't go around spouting that he was the Jinchurikki of the Kyuubi. There were some things that people just didn't need to know. Tsunami-san looked a little confused, but also understanding. She simply nodded at him, waving him off, and he grinned at her before taking off at a dead run.

He had a feeling he was missing something interesting, so he sprinted full speed to the bridge.

...

This was bad.

Kakashi didn't know where Sasuke was. He didn't know where Naruto was. is He had no idea what had happened to them during their fight with that masked boy, evidently named Haku. The injuries he had sustained during his last battle with Zabuza felt as though they had reopened. He felt sick and dizzy, but he had to keep fighting. He had lost a lot more blood. There was a huge, gaping gash from his right shoulder to his left hip, and his gut was burning.

This was really, really bad.

In the distance, he thought he could hear Sakura crying, but he didn't know why and he couldn't exactly just go find out. Naruto's chakra had turned dark and become almost overwhelming for a brief few minutes earlier, but since then it had gotten eerily quiet over there. He had been able to hear Sasuke and Naruto hollering and yelling for various reasons, but now he heard nothing.

 _They aren't dead,_ he told himself rather stubbornly. _If they were dead, that masked boy would've come over here to slaughter you by now._

But it had been so, so quiet, he couldn't really be sure. He knew he had heard Sakura crying earlier. He was sure at one point he'd heard Naruto calling for him, but he hadn't responded because he'd been busy. Sasuke's voice had been silenced for nearly twenty minutes.

For once, Saeka would be a welcomed sight.

The mist was thicker than water. He couldn't see anything. His Sharingan was only so helpful. It was much easier to see in the dark than it was to see in fog. He had managed to trap Zabuza with his hounds earlier, and he'd landed a decent blow, but he wouldn't be able to catch him off guard with that again.

If he was going to kill the swordsman, he was going to have to do some quick thinking. But that was much easier said than done when he'd lost probably half the blood in his body and was continuing to spill it onto the ground beneath him.

"Kakashi... you seem a bit worn out." Zabuza's voice floated out from seemingly every direction.

_I wouldn't be this worn out if you didn't fight like a_ _**lowly thug** _ _._

He gritted his teeth, white-knuckling the kunai in his hand. His vision kept going in and out of focus. He was exhausted. He was actually beginning to think he was going to pass out. He'd certainly lost enough blood for it.

It came on suddenly. One moment, he'd been standing there, trying to feel out Zabuza's presence and not doing a very good job. Then next thing he knew, his vision was going gray around the edges. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his field of vision. He _couldn't_ pass out now. This was the _worst_ time to pass out. He dug a finger into the wound across his torso, trying to use pain to bring himself back to reality, but it wasn't working. His limbs were quickly becoming numb. His whole body was tingling, but it didn't feel like he was fainting. It didn't feel like he was losing consciousness.

It felt like he was falling asleep.

He tried to muster his strength and fight back against the sudden attack of sleepiness, but he couldn't shake it off. He didn't know where Naruto was. He didn't know what had become of Sasuke. He didn't know why Sakura was crying. He didn't know if Tazuna-san was even alive. There was too much at stake here. He couldn't afford to... to...

Kakashi went to one knee, catching himself on his hands and dropping his kunai. He couldn't maintain consciousness. He just couldn't.

He could faintly hear the sound of someone singing. It sounded distant, but still clear as day. It seemed to seep into his mind and clog his consciousness with its oddly comforting tune. He didn't recognize the voice or the song, but he could feel the energy laced through it. It didn't feel like chakra at all. It had to be some kind of genjutsu, but even with his Sharingan, he couldn't see through it. He couldn't break it. He couldn't get around it.

Kakashi's consciousness spiraled away suddenly, never giving him a chance to fight back. Everything went dark, and he collapsed to the ground, his eyes closing and his whole body relaxing. In the back of his head, all he could think was _my team, my team, my team my team my team my team my team my team my team..._

_**They'll be fine.** _

He didn't want to believe in the strange voice, but he didn't really have a choice. It wasn't like he could do anything anyway.


	5. blood sugar

_"Foolish little brother..." He was terrified._

"... not dead."

_"Run, and cling desperately to life..." He was running._

"Why isn't..."

_"Live, Sasuke, until you're strong enough to face me again." He wanted to..._

"...down, Sakura. He's..."

_There was blood_ _**everywhere** _ _. Splattered across walls, smeared on the ground, soaking into the clothing of the corpses scattered around the estate. He didn't know why he was running. There was no point. His brother was a prodigy unlike any the Uchiha clan had seen in over a hundred years. If Itachi wanted to kill him, he was going to die._

_**We can't die yet, remember? We still have to kill him.** _

_"You're weak because you lack hatred."_

_He couldn't speak. He couldn't eat. He couldn't sleep. Everyone he knew from the academy had come to see him in the hospital, but he didn't want to see any of them. They came in droves with cards and flowers and things he didn't care about. They thought they were being helpful, supportive,_ _**caring** _ _. He didn't want anything to do with anything of them. At the most, he wanted them to stop worrying about him so he could disappear into nothingness without a care in the world._

_He wanted to-..._

_Why couldn't-...?_

_I just-..._

_"Maybe there's more to it than what we know, Sasuke."_

_**No, there isn't. He told us why. He told us what he wanted. Why would he lie?** _

_-... him..._

_What did-...?_

_**Wake up. We both know what happens when we start this train of thought.** _

He let out a strangled noise and choked on it immediately, rolling onto his side and wheezing and coughing uncontrollably. He could hear someone talking, possibly to him, but he couldn't speak past the lump of nausea in his throat. He worked extremely hard to prevent himself from throwing up, and within seconds he was relatively certain he would lose the battle.

He spent probably a minute laying on his side with his eyes squeezed shut, swallowing compulsively in an effort to quell his nausea. It was keeping him from throwing up. It was not making him feel any better.

He braced one shaking arm against the ground for support and sat up, his other hand hovering over his mouth as he anticipated what would surely be a grand round of vomiting any minute now. His eyes were burning and it was giving him a headache, so he didn't want to open them and risk making the pain worse. This had not panned out to be a good day.

"S-Sasuke-kun?" Sakura's very familiar and almost welcome voice reached him, and he cracked his aching eyes open. Everything seemed brighter and more colorful than he was relatively sure it was supposed to be. Sakura was sitting beside him, on the side that he had rolled towards in the midst of waking up and choking on air. She looked like she'd been crying a lot. He wondered if they'd thought he was dead as much as he had.

He would've responded, but he didn't want to risk projectile vomiting all over her. He swallowed again, clenching his teeth hard and closing his eyes again. Slowly, he lowered the hand that had been hovering over his mouth, and spent a moment testing the waters. It didn't seem like he was going to be sick after all. That was a relief. He had enough trouble keeping food down half the time anyway.

He straightened up the rest of the way, noting with some relief that some kind soul had pulled out all the needles that stupid masked kid had hit him with. There must've been four dozen of them laying in a neat pile somewhere. He would have to thank that person.

"How do you feel?"

He turned towards the source of the almost unfamiliar voice, blinking blearily. The very first thing that he registered, before all the other aspects of the scene taking place literally two feet to his left, was the fact that Kaisuki's eyes weren't their usual bright red. They weren't hot pink, either. They were green. It had to be the irou-nin that had healed Kakashi-sensei before - Kaisuki had referred to her with the placeholder name "Shiranai." After a moment of scrutiny, he followed the irou-nin's gaze to the unconscious person laying on the ground in front of her.

Kakashi-sensei.

His face was ashen. His skin looked clammy, and there was blood all over the front of his vest. He looked positively _dead_. Shiranai's hands were bathed in green light as she used irou-ninjutsu to repair the damage that had been done. Kakashi-sensei looked far too terrible for the extent of the injuries to only be external. He had probably reopened the internal wounds he'd received several days ago in his fight against Zabuza.

Sasuke swallowed hard, glancing up at the blonde he had just noticed leaning over Shiranai's shoulder. He had a hand on her shoulder and, judging from the soft blue glow enveloping his fingers, he was lending her his chakra. Kaisuki had mentioned before that this mystery irou-nin hadn't had enough chakra to fully heal Kakashi-sensei before. Sasuke didn't understand why she couldn't just pull from Saeka. _She_ certainly had plenty of chakra to go around.

"He'll recover," Shiranai said, her eyes flicking up to meet his for a moment. "The wounds he sustained before reopened, and he's lost about two pints of blood within the past few days. He's in pretty bad shape, but he should pull through if you keep him well hydrated." She paused, frowning slightly more than she already had been. "I would say that you should hold off your return trip for at least a week, though two would be better."

Sasuke nodded, unsure of what to say. He still didn't know this person's name. Because they were still wearing Kaisuki's appearance, he didn't even know if this person was a "she." He was assuming this person was female because most irou-nin were women, and her speech pattern was definitely feminine, but really, he didn't have a clue who he was talking to.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, looking up at him directly, her eyes sweeping over his body. He was sure he looked about as awful as he felt. He didn't want to reply to her question. He especially didn't want to reply honestly. But she was an irou-nin, and she was healing Kakashi-sensei without any prompting, so he didn't _really_ have a reason to distrust her. He still didn't want to answer her, though. Not in front of Sakura and Naruto.

He scowled at his instructor's thumb for a moment, before he quietly replied. "I've been better. My eyes hurt and I'm sore, but it's nothing a little rest won't fix."

She stared at him for a long moment before speaking again, "Your Sharingan is still activated." She told him, and he blinked, confused. How was his Sharingan _still_ activated? He'd been unconscious! "One of the chakra receptors to and from your eyes may be partially paralyzed, if one of those needles hit you in the right spot. I can take a look after we get back to Tazuna-san's house."

He wasn't sure how he felt about that, so he decided not to reply. After a moment, Shiranai lowered her gaze back to her task. Sasuke glanced over his shoulder at Sakura briefly before he began the painful task of picking himself up off the ground. His muscles didn't want to cooperate with him. And he didn't want Sakura's help, though he knew she'd give it in an instant.

"You shouldn't-..." Sakura began, but Shiranai cut her off.

"He can get up, Sakura," she chided gently, raising her gaze to look at the pink-haired girl. "After the shock his nerves received, it'll be good for him to move around a little and improve his circulation some. Just make sure he's steady and don't let him fall."

Sakura didn't say anything, but he was sure his teammate was silently protesting the irou-nin's decision, despite the fact that, well, Shiranai was an _irou-nin_ and Sakura was nothing more than a smart but very useless genin. He silently thanked Shiranai and continued straightening up, one arm thrown out to keep him balanced. She'd been right. Now that he was moving around, it felt like large portions of his body were completely numb, while others just felt out of place.

Sasuke straightened up and looked past Naruto when he saw an approaching silhouette, quickly identifying the person as Tazuna-san. He hadn't died. That was a good thing, he supposed. The bastard had nearly gotten four of the five of them _killed_ , but they _were_ in charge of his safety, so Sasuke had to be a little grateful that his first A-rank mission hadn't ended in complete failure. Even if he was still furious with the man for being such a complete _idiot_.

The older man walked up to them, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand before taking a swig out of his flask. He looked a little green.

"Do you feel any better, Tazuna-san?" Sakura asked from over Sasuke's shoulder. He heard her standing up behind him, and watched as she walked over to their charge. The man looked like he had been sick and wanted to be sick again. Sasuke knew that feeling all too well.

"Ha, no, not really." He said shakily. Sasuke frowned. He seemed to have missed something. "I might have to do that again."

Tazuna's eyes drifted over Sakura's shoulder, to something that was evidently behind Sasuke, before he turned his attention to the Uchiha briefly. Sasuke watched him open his mouth to say something, but he closed it quite suddenly, and just offered up a very forced smile. The black-haired boy raised an eyebrow. He was definitely missing something.

_**Well, whatever sea monster washed up on the bridge, it's obviously behind us. Just don't throw up.** _

_I've seen a lot worse than sea monsters. I'm not gonna throw up._

He turned halfway around, looking to his right to see what all the fuss was about. Everyone had been extremely quiet, with the exception of Shiranai, who had purposely and easily engaged him in conversation. Naruto had been oddly silent the entire time, and now that Sasuke was thinking about it, his blonde teammate had been white in the face. Sakura also looked like her nerves had been rattled, though she seemed to have managed to master herself a little better than the highly emotionally reactive Naruto.

He knew what he was looking at in less than a second. There was blood _everywhere_. Splattered across the ground, soaking into the clothes of the mangled corpses that lay haphazardly on the cement. A lump jumped into his throat. This wasn't the work of Saeka. That girl could butcher and slaughter with the best of them, but not like _that_. The wounds she inflicted were always concise little wounds that killed in an instant. Punctured vital points, slashed wind pipes, and opened arteries were her preferred way to kill.

Whoever was responsible for the bloodbath down the bridge from him had used some kind of blunt object, and they had been _strong_. Strong enough that what appeared to be single blows had ripped off the heads of some of the deceased. Some of the bodies had holes the width of a fist through their chests. He could see compound fractures, he could see ripped off limbs, he could see bodies that had been battered and beaten beyond recognition. Some of their heads looked like nothing more than bloody pulps.

The pattern of blows looked like that of someone who fought with their bare hands. How was there someone who could do _that_ with their bare hands! _?_ Where had they gone? He was frozen solid, staring at the numerous bodies. He couldn't even count them all because they had been reduced to such slop, they could have been twenty men or five men. He just couldn’t tell.

Everything was so much more _vivid_ with his Sharingan. He wanted to be sick.

_**No, we agreed that we weren't going to throw up.** _

_I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't_...

 _"N-nii-san! Who did this!_? _"_

His stomach lurched, and he jammed a fist into his gut. He wasn't going to be sick. He hadn't eaten enough yet to throw up. He could wreck his blood sugar and potentially faint if he did. He had skipped breakfast and they hadn't gone back for lunch yet, and he'd just been engaged in fierce battle. He couldn't throw up now. He couldn't. If he fainted, it would highlight his terrible eating habits, and if he highlighted his terrible eating habits, questions were going to be asked and his team would demand to know why he would sometimes skip breakfast, and then lunch, and then dinner. They would want to know how often he didn't eat breakfast ( _he_ _ **never**_ _ate breakfast_ ) _._ They would want to know if he skipped any other meals, and how often ( _sometimes he skipped lunch too, and once in a while he'd miss out on eating for an entire day_ ). They would essentially force him to tell them about the night terrors and the nightmares.

And he absolutely _wouldn't_. Not now, not _ever_.

He swallowed compulsively several times, turning his attention away from the massacre. He felt even sicker than he had when he'd first woken up. His hands were shaking, and his knees felt incredibly weak. He probably should've waited longer before getting up. Now that he was standing, of course, he didn't especially want to sit back down, but he didn't want anyone to know that he wasn't feeling too well.

"Sasuke," he turned around to face Shiranai, who was scrutinizing him carefully. He was almost intimidated by it and he wasn't entirely sure why. He hadn't had anyone look at him like that since...

_"Sasuke!" He froze in the front door, his shoulders hunching up. He'd be so close to getting out, and he'd been caught. He was already falling behind his brother and he hadn't even been given a fair shot at the academy yet. He couldn't even sneak out of the house to without being caught. That was pretty pathetic._

_"Y-yes, okaa-san?" He replied sheepishly, turning around and slowly walking around the corner into the kitchen. His mom turned to him, raising an eyebrow and looking at him very carefully. He swallowed hard, and smiled, trying to pretend with his best efforts that he wasn't still feeling awful._

_"You can't go out if you're sick." She said, and his voice rose with his indignation._

_"I'm not sick, okaa-san! Really, I'm just tired because..."_

The memory trailed off into nothingness, leaving a sour taste in his mouth. His stomach did a few flips and tricks in his gut and he swallowed hard to clear out the lump in his throat. He wouldn't vomit. He wouldn't vomit. He wouldn't vomit. He wouldn't vomit.

"Alright, it's time for you to sit back down," Shiranai said after a pause, sounding very much like the mother of a young child in that moment. She was talking to him as though he was her five year-old. He wanted to throw up. "You've lost all the color in your face and I don't want you to faint before we get back to Tazuna-san's house. So sit down. Sakura, make sure he doesn't fall."

Sakura nodded silently. She looked a little miffed about being ordered around by this complete stranger, though Sasuke had no idea why. This person was probably at _least_ decades older than them. She had seniority over Tazuna-san, too, though she didn't appear as interested in exercising it.

Despite her feelings, Sakura didn't want him to fall, for obvious reasons. So, she stepped back over to his side, looking worried as she always seemed to when he was mildly injured in any way, shape, manner or form. He wanted to ignore her offer of support, and he almost did. Then, as he very slowly tried to bend his knees, he realized that if he tried to get back to the ground on his own, his legs were going to give out underneath him. So, though he wasn't sure that he'd actually be able to hold himself up if his legs _did_ give out, he reached out to place a hand on her shoulder, and she held onto his arm as she helped him to sit back down.

He was disgruntled about needing help more than anything. He didn't like asking for help in any circumstances. He especially didn't like asking for help in front of Naruto, and so he'd made a point to _never_ do it, as the blonde would surely never let him hear the end of it. Though, considering the current circumstances, he supposed it was possible that Naruto would let him live _this one_ down.

"Tazuna-san," Shiranai spoke up again after probably fifteen minutes of silence stretched over them. The older man, who had been staring at the ground, the railings, the construction material, and various other things that weren't piles of bodies, with his hand over his mouth and his face a little green. At that moment, he looked up carefully, and Sasuke could see how he was purposely avoiding looking towards the bloodbath on the end of the bridge.

"Could you find something that could be used as a stretcher to get Kakashi-kun back into town?" The green-eyed woman requested, glancing over at him with a gentle look in her eyes. The light that had been enveloping her hands slowly faded away, and she placed her hands in her lap and straightened her posture.

"Y-yea, yea, no problem." Tazuna-san said after a beat, looking like he was more than happy to get away from the area. Sasuke didn't blame him.

"Naruto, would you be able to henge into someone of an appropriate height so you can help Tazuna-san carry him?" The woman requested of the blonde. "Do you have enough chakra left for that?"

Naruto pulled his hand back from Shiranai's shoulder, offering up a strained grin, "Yea, no problem, Izumi-san. I've got tons of chakra left!" He didn't sound like he was lying, just judging by the amount of energy he was exhibiting, but Sasuke knew his mind was probably still on the corpses laying not even a hundred yards from them. Naruto had never been exposed to that much death. Sasuke had been exposed to way too much of it. Neither of them had really needed to see it.

_**Izumi is her name, apparently.** _

_When did Naruto find out her name? I feel like I missed a lot of stuff._

_**Well, yea, we miss stuff all the time. How do you think Itachi managed to delude us into thinking he was-...** _

_Don't even start._

"Thank you, Naruto." She replied, offering the blonde a warm smile. Naruto flushed a little, interlacing his fingers behind his head and grinning more genuinely. He was so uncool. "Sakura, Sasuke, why don't you two walk back with Tazuna-san? I can stay here with Naruto and we'll look after Kakashi-kun."

Sasuke blinked. Admittedly, he was feeling much better now that he had sat down, but he didn't really feel well enough for travel. He was going to have to do it eventually, but he _really_ wanted to put it off for longer. He was still sick to his stomach, and his head had started pounding since he'd sat back down, and his eyes continued to ache. He felt shaky and weak, and his skin felt clammy and cold. He needed to get some sugar into his body. He knew he wouldn't have been able to eat breakfast, but he was regretting not eating _something_. He was probably going to collapse on the way back to Tazuna-san's.

_**No, we agreed on** _ _ **not** _ _**fainting, remember?** _

_Easier said than done._

He nodded mutely, unable to really refuse... _Izumi's_ idea. He was going to have to make the trip eventually, and his chances of fainting probably weren't going to be any better whether he waited or not. Sakura was staring at him, frowning. He ignored her, pretending to the best of his ability that he would be fine, even though he absolutely wasn't. He swallowed another ball of nausea down and, after a brief second in which he seriously considered telling Izumi that he'd rather wait a while longer before heading back, Sasuke stood up.

In retrospect, he probably should have just told the irou-nin that he didn't feel well enough for travel yet. She probably would've given him another check up and perhaps thought of a way to get him safely back to Tazuna-san's house without him having to do much walking.

And as the ground rushed up towards him, he faintly wondered if Izumi had been a mother. She certainly reminded him of his own.

...

Naruto's head shot up off the table when he heard sounds of movement from down the hall, where Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei had been sleeping. After Sasuke had fainted, getting him back to the house had been a chore, and once they'd gotten him into a bed, he'd fallen dead asleep and hadn't woken up since.

It had been several hours since they'd gotten back. Tsunami-san and Inari had gone out to get dinner fixings and some things for Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei, while Tazuna-san had been out working on the bridge with his re-recruited fellow workers. Naruto, Sakura-chan, and the relatively newly recovered Kaisuki had been waiting for one or the other of their injured and unwell teammates to wake up. It had been pretty dull thus far, but now Naruto had perked up at the sound of movement. If he had been a dog, his tail might've been wagging.

"What is it?" Kaisuki asked him curiously. "Does it sound like someone woke up?"

He nodded enthusiastically, "Yea. Someone's moving around back there."

Sakura-chan let out a relieved sigh, "Who do you think it is?"

Naruto shrugged, "I dunno." He caught Kaisuki smiling and shaking her head beside him out of the corner of his eye.

"It's probably Sasuke," she said. "Kakashi-sensei wouldn't be awake yet. He might sleep until tomorrow morning."

The three of them waited with baited breath as the sound of slow, perhaps unsteady footsteps made their way down the hall. A moment later, one Uchiha Sasuke stepped around the corner into the room, digging the heel of one hand into his left eye and bracing himself against the wall with the other. He looked _awful_. Naruto had thought he'd seen the Uchiha look pretty gnarly before, but this moment took the cake. His face was ashen and clammy looking, and there was a slight tremor running through his whole body. He looked like he would fall over at any given moment.

As if he were clairvoyant, Sasuke's knees chose that moment to buckle and the Uchiha lurched forward. For once, Naruto beat Sakura-chan and Kaisuki to the jump, lunging forward and catching the Uchiha before he hit the ground. Sakura-chan was beside him in an instant, grabbing one of Sasuke's arms while Naruto got a better grip on the other, and they guided him into a chair. He was shaking all over, even with them holding him up, supporting pretty much all of his weight.

Kaisuki appeared, gently pushing past Sakura-chan once they had gotten the black-haired boy secured in a chair, and cupped Sasuke's cheeks so she could tilt his head back. He looked exhausted.

"Sasuke, can you tell me what's wrong?" She asked, speaking slowly and clearly. The Uchiha swallowed, shivering violently.

"H-haven't... eaten..." he replied, his voice hoarse and barely above a whisper. There was a brief pause as the information sunk in. Sasuke had been the first one awake that morning. He'd been up before even Kakashi-sensei, who generally rose at all kinds of ridiculous hours of the morning. They'd all assumed that he'd eaten while they'd been sleeping, especially since he hadn't eaten much the night before, and he hadn't mentioned at any point in time that he was hungry. And then, of course, they'd engaged in battle for nearly an hour, Sasuke had been beaten pretty badly, and then he'd fainted and slept for another four hours.

It was going on six in the evening and Sasuke had burned through probably twice as many calories as he'd had available for burning.

"Hold him upright," Kaisuki said hastily, stepping away from Sasuke. Naruto squeezed Sasuke's shoulder as he listed forward a little. He watched his best friend as she ransacked the cupboards, looking for something. "A-ha!"

A moment later, she had found a spoon and returned to Sasuke's side. She opened the metal container she'd pulled out of the cabinet and dug the spoon into it, and only then did Naruto realize that it was sugar. She was giving him a spoonful of sugar. It made sense, considering the circumstances, and he probably would've been happy to eat it himself, but Sasuke _hated_ sweets. He would probably hold a grudge for that later, if he didn't fight her about it now.

"Sasuke, hey," she called, grabbing his chin and tilting his head back. "I know you hate sweet stuff, but I need you to eat this. It's just sugar. It'll get your blood sugar up enough so you can function. Don't you dare throw up on me."

Sasuke made a thin sound of protest, but he opened his mouth anyway. Kaisuki dumped the spoon into his mouth, and he gagged, but worked his jaw until he could swallow it. Naruto had no idea what the guy's aversion to sweets was. He didn't know how anyone could honestly not like candy.

Four mouthfuls of sugar later, Kaisuki let go of Sasuke's chin and Naruto helped him to lean back in the chair more comfortably. Sakura-chan stood on the Uchiha's other side, biting her thumb nail and observing worriedly. She looked like she felt helpless, and Naruto couldn't blame her. All he was doing was keeping Sasuke from tipping over in his chair and hitting the floor. Kaisuki was probably receiving instruction from Izumi-san, and there wasn't really anything else to do.

Over the course of another fifteen to twenty minutes, Kaisuki passed the time by forcing more sugar down Sasuke's throat.. His skin was still clammy, and he was still shaking pretty bad, but he was steadily regaining more of his consciousness. That was certainly a relief.

"You can let go now," Sasuke grumbled around the half hour mark. Naruto tilted himself to the side so he could see the Uchiha's face. He was met with a sour glare. He returned to his normal upright position and released Sasuke's shoulder.

"No need to be a _dick_." Naruto grunted at him halfheartedly. "Did just save your stupid life."

Sasuke threw him another nasty glare, but it wasn't nearly as effective when he looked as terrible as he did. Naruto rolled his eyes dramatically, but his heart wasn't really in it. He'd had too many close calls regarding Sasuke's wellbeing lately, and he didn't really want there to be any more of them.

"Why didn't you eat this morning?" Sakura-chan spoke up after a brief pause, sounding a little high strung and a lot upset with the Uchiha. Kaisuki had already busied herself in the kitchen, slamming things around as she furiously made a snack for their idiotic teammate.

Sasuke looked over at her, and Naruto saw him hesitate. He saw him divert his gaze elsewhere, and judging by the look on Sakura-chan's face, she noticed it as well. Sasuke was hiding something. He was doing a terrible job of it, too.

"I wasn't hungry." He muttered. "I didn't exactly expect to be engaged in a life or death battle this afternoon."

He saw Kaisuki whirl around with a large knife in her hands, and his face drained of color. She was livid and she had a large, sharp object in her hand. Naruto didn't _really_ think she'd hurl it at Sasuke's head, but the knowledge didn't comfort him. Kaisuki did rash things when she was truly infuriated, and if her flashing eyes were any indication, she was _really_ mad.

"Are you an _idiot_?" She snapped, gesturing towards the Uchiha with the knife. Her voice was beginning to rise. Naruto was glad the kind people who lived in this house weren't home. "What kind of shinobi are you, that you don't have the common sense to _eat_ before conducting your tasks as a ninja when you _know_ you're on a dangerous mission and could end up in a ' _life or death battle'_ at any given moment! _?_ "

Sasuke, for once, didn't quite seem to have an arsenal of retorts at his disposal. He froze for a good two seconds, looking like he wanted to bolt from the room, before anger overtook his expression and he snarled at her, "It's _really_ none of your damn business what I do or don't do!"

"That is _so far_ from my point-...!"

"Guys-..." Sakura tried to intervene, but she was shouted down immediately by the growing volume of Sasuke and Kaisuki's fighting. Naruto watched the back and forth, unsure of what to do. He didn't really think he'd be able to persuade them to stop hollering at each other. As long as they didn't get violent, he supposed it wasn't really a big deal, but they were supposed to be a team. Sasuke and Kaisuki didn't fight much, but when they _did_ , it was catastrophic. Kaisuki had told him that, in the past, Sasuke and her fighting had seemingly led to Saeka attacking the Uchiha and putting him in the hospital more than once. Whether the fighting had actually influenced Saeka's decision to go on the offense or not was unclear, but if it happened now...

Naruto didn't think he would be able to successfully stand between Saeka and Sasuke. He doubted he'd get killed or even injured, but it would be no difficult feat for Saeka to dodge around him and slash open Sasuke's throat.

"... That has _nothing_ to do with this!" Sasuke shouted, slamming his fist on the table and standing up. Sakura-chan jerked forward a little as if she expected the Uchiha to fall over, but he didn't. He stayed standing up, and as time progressed, he was looking better and better. That was good, Naruto supposed.

On the other hand, Sakura-chan was looking like she was about to start crying at any moment. He could see that her eyes were starting to water as she tried to get a word in edgewise, but neither of their two fighting teammates were paying any attention. Naruto swallowed hard, summoning forth his courage. He was probably going to get lynched for this, and he might end up making Sasuke yell at him, but Kaisuki would stop when she realized that Sakura-chan was about to cry. She would be willing to drop it, even if the Uchiha pursued it.

"It has _plenty_ to do with this!" Kaisuki shrieked, white-knuckling the knife in her hand. Her jaw was so tight, Naruto was sure she was going to end up breaking her teeth. He took a step forward, lifting his hands in peace, and opening his mouth, but before he could speak, Sasuke snarled with a voice so hateful, so _enraged_ , it made him stop in his tracks, it made his voice die in his throat, and it made his stomach twist into a horrified knot.

"Why do you even care! _?_ _We're not friends anymore, you freak_!!" Sasuke snarled at the top of his lungs, his hands clenched into shaking fists, his eyes full of nothing but hate. Naruto stared at his teammate, his lips parted in shock at the language Sasuke had chosen to express himself with. He couldn't actually believe that he had just said that. Naruto literally _could not believe it_.

Kaisuki froze, the anger melting off her face momentarily. Then, with a kick to Naruto's already knotted stomach, her eyes flashed hot pink, and then back to red. Sasuke seemed to be so blinded with rage, and it had happened so fast, the Uchiha didn't appear to notice it. If he had, he probably would've flinched back and lost all his anger in a heartbeat.

Kaisuki's bright red eyes welled up with frustrated tears, and she abruptly turned on her heel and stormed towards the door. Sasuke glared what looked like all the hate in his being into her back, and Sakura-chan opened her mouth to say something, probably to call Kaisuki back, but before she could get out their red-eyed teammate's name, she turned on the ball of her foot with suddenness that made them all jump and hurled the knife she'd been holding at Sasuke.

The Uchiha didn't even have time to dodge it. The knife embedded itself in the wall behind him, and his eyes widened in shock and then fear when he saw that Kaisuki's eyes had turned pink and they weren't switching back. Saeka glared murderously at Sasuke, an expression Naruto had never seen until that moment. He supposed if a girl like Saeka looked at him like that, he'd probably also be terrified of her.

"You're not even worth that much," Saeka spat venomously. " _Weakling._ "

Without another word, she stalked out of the house, slamming the door behind her with such force, the windows rattled. Naruto swallowed hard, staring after her. He looked over at Sasuke, whose face was white as a sheet of paper, his shoulders shaking. He'd probably been expecting to be killed. Naruto then looked over at Sakura-chan, who met his gaze with her tearful green eyes. He wanted to stay and offer her words of support, but he couldn't leave Kaisuki and Saeka in their current, evidently shared mood. If Saeka couldn't be calmed down quickly, and if Naruto didn't find something to say to her that would persuade her to do otherwise, she may very well return later that night and rip Sasuke apart in his sleep.

"Sakura-chan," he said quickly, heading for the door. He hoped he was effectively indicating the urgency of the situation. "I have to go after her. Make sure he eats something." He added, brandishing a finger at Sasuke as he fell back into his seat shakily.

She stared at him in confusion, but then her eyes widened. She sniffled, wiping her eyes, and nodded. He shot her a thankful grin and tore out of the house after Kaisuki and Saeka. He didn't have a lot of ideas as to where they may have gone, and while someone who had only been missing for thirty seconds might normally be quite easy to find, Naruto knew better. According to Kaisuki, Saeka had speed rivaled by _none_. At least, none that they knew of. The girl was frighteningly fast, and so really, for all Naruto knew, she could be on the other side of the _island_.

" _I bet_ _I_ _know where she is._ "

He came to a screeching halt in the middle of a crossroad. Naruto paused for a moment, clenching his fists several times. He knew that voice, now. He'd heard it before, and he'd never really known whether it was coming from himself or from another source. It spoke up so rarely, he often forgot that it _could_ speak up.

" _Alright, you shitty fox,_ " he snapped at the Kyuubi. " _Where is she?_ "

" _I ought to not tell you if you're going to be a nasty little brat._ "

Naruto wanted very badly to groan and perhaps yell loudly in irritation, but he _was_ standing out in the middle of the street, and he didn't really want the locals to think he was insane. So he clamped down on himself and let out a heavy, irate sigh instead.

" _Okay, fine. Will you tell me where she is?_ "

" _You forgot 'please.'_ "

He could've screamed. " _ **Please**_."

He heard the demon fox sealed within him snicker, and he rolled his eyes at the cloudy night sky. " _The unfinished end of the bridge. Where that lovely bloodbath was._ "

 _Why on earth would she...?_ Deciding not to question it, as he didn't really have any other leads, Naruto took off at a sprint. He raced through town, dodging around the few people who were outdoors. It looked like it would rain, and so most of the citizens of the small town had returned to their homes for the night. At one point, he thought he heard someone call his name, and it might've been Tazuna-san or Tsunami-san or Inari, but he couldn't afford to stop, so he didn't. If Saeka got too much headway on him, he'd _never_ catch up to her.

He arrived at the bridge, and already his stomach was knotting with the memory of the scene he'd woken up to earlier that day. It was already dark out, so there weren't any people around working on the bridge anymore.

Keeping his eyes peeled for signs of movement, Naruto walked down the bridge. He didn't try to conceal himself, as he knew that Saeka was rather paranoid and didn't react well when people snuck up on her - even though sneaking up on a sensory-type like her was pretty much impossible. She would still react violently if she knew he was trying to hide from her.

He saw the silhouette of a figure standing at the very edge of the bridge, between the last of the lanterns that lined the sides of the bridge, beyond the stains of red that still marred the cement. It would likely come out with a few rainfalls, and the blood and bodies had been long since cleaned up, but it was still unnerving to walk where he knew several battered, bloody corpses had been just earlier that day.

He started walking a little faster, and was about to call out to the girl he thought was Saeka when he realized with a lot of disappointment that it was neither Saeka nor Kaisuki. From his earlier distance, he could've mistaken them, but upon getting a bit closer, he could easily see that he'd been far from correct. A woman with ridiculously long hair stood at the end of the bridge, and as he stopped walking, she turned around to face him. She looked at him for a long, long moment, before sweeping her bangs out of her eyes and cocking an eyebrow at him.

"Yes?" She asked, her voice a little deep for a woman's. Naruto blinked, before realizing he probably looked like he'd just received the worst news of his lifetime.

"O-oh, uh... sorry..." He stammered, unsure of what to say. "I'm... I'm uh... looking for someone. Yea, yea, I'm looking for someone," he said hastily, realizing what he wanted to say as he was saying it. "She has black hair, she wears a purple scarf around her waist and she's got bright red eyes. Have you... have you seen anyone like that around here, by any chance? Her eyes... might also be pink, if you've seen someone... like... that..." He trailed off into silence as he took in the look on the woman's face.

She had been paying close attention to what he said, but her expression was mostly blank. His heart sank, and he spoke again, "I-I'm sorry to disturb you. I'll-..."

"There was a girl like that who ran past the bridge as I was turning onto it," she said calmly. "She looked like the person you're describing."

Naruto's face lit up like the lights at a festival. "Do you remember which way was she going?" He asked hastily. The woman pointed to her left - the direction opposite of Tazuna-san's house. That didn't narrow things down very much, but he could track her if he could find more people who had seen her.

"Th-thanks, miss!" He said, waving as he turned around and took off again. She didn't say anything further, and he didn't bother to look back at her. He'd probably never see her again anyway.

.

It was absurdly late when Naruto finally got home, and he was exhausted. He'd been running around for a few hours, and he hadn't been able to find Kaisuki. Defeated and yet hoping that maybe she had returned to Tazuna-san's house, he slowly trekked back. He stepped up to the door, sliding the spare key out from under the mat and silently letting himself in.

He wanted to cry. He hadn't been able to find Kaisuki anywhere, he was cold, he was soaking wet because it had started raining two hours ago (though it had long since stopped) and he'd refused to give in, and he was _starving_. He walked in, turning on the light over the sink and turning towards the table to see if anyone had left him dinner.

He froze, eyes widening.

Kaisuki was sitting at the table, her head buried in her arms, a plate heaped with food sitting across the table from her. Had she been waiting for him? He sort of felt bad for stubbornly refusing to return sooner. That feeling went away, however, when he recalled why he'd been out there in the first place.

He stepped over to her side, gently touching her shoulder. She flinched slightly, sniffling and lifting her head up off her arms. She raised a hand and rubbed her eyes, sniffling several more times before she looked up at him. Her eyes widened in surprise, and he was sure he looked sort of devastated.

She'd been crying. A lot. It looked like she was about to start crying again, in fact. Naruto sat down in the seat next to her, wondering just what he ought to say. She was far beyond the point of being cheered up, and he was generally terrible with people who were crying, no matter their gender, age, or anything, really. He was just too uncool and awkward about it.

"You're all wet," she mumbled. "You should shower. I'll heat this up for-..."

Naruto cut her off, shaking his head. "It can wait. Are you okay?"

If he'd wanted her to stop crying, that had been the absolute wrong thing to say. Immediately, a fresh onslaught of tears came pouring down her cheeks. She buried her face into her hands, her shoulders trembling as she shook her head. Naruto wanted to hug her, to offer her that physical comfort, but he _was_ soaked to the bone, and he didn't think they both needed to be wet. Instead, he reached out with one hand and petted her head. It was something her mother used to do for her, and it was a habit Naruto had adopted to comfort her when she was upset.

He remained quiet and patient as she cried, waiting for her to calm down some so she could speak. He knew better than to try and rush her to the finish line. He'd learned that several years ago, after she'd refused to talk to him for two days because he'd _really_ upset her. Luckily for him, Kaisuki was terrible at holding grudges.

Eventually, she calmed down some, lifting her head up and brushing her hair out of her watering eyes. Her eyes were all puffy and bloodshot, and her nose was tinted pink. She sniffled again, wiping her eyes on her one sleeve, and wrapped her arms around her waist.

"I knew... w-we weren't friends," she mumbled softly, her voice cracking on a sob that she bit back. Naruto's heart ached. He had already known more or less what she was going to say. "I just... I dunno. I thought... maybe something changed, since, y'know... He's talking to us again."

Naruto didn't really have anything to tell her. He didn't have anything helpful to say aside from, 'well, it's Sasuke. He's a dick.' And that _really_ wasn't helpful in this situation. He nodded silently, having absolutely no clue what to say. He'd talked with her after many of her fights with Sasuke in the past, but this... wasn't like those times. Those times, they had still been friends, however strained. They had still been close, however tense. This time, Sasuke had said something truly awful, and he had meant it.

Naruto sort of wanted to kill him.

"I'm sorry," he finally said, his voice soft. "I... don't know what to say, Kaisuki. I mean, you gotta understand... Sasuke's a lot meaner now than he was four years ago. I dunno what changed, really, but I don't think it was your fault, and... I don't know how much he means what he says. He's said some pretty terrible stuff to me before, but I usually just tell him to go fuck himself. This is... obviously, different, and I don't know if he meant what he said, but... well, actions speak louder than words, right?" He said, offering her a small, sad smile. She wasn't looking at him, in favor of staring at her hands as they sat in her lap. "I try not to listen to anything he says, since he says he hates me all the time, but he saves my ass a lot, too."

Kaisuki looked up at him, and he met her gaze evenly. Slowly, she nodded. She didn't look like she believed him entirely, but he didn't really blame her. Sasuke hadn't been speaking to any of them until about six or seven days ago, so for the past five months she hadn't gotten an opportunity to see how the two of them normally treated each other. At the same time, though, she looked like she would be willing to take his word for it, at least for now.

"I guess," she finally muttered. There was a pause, and for a moment he thought she was going to start crying again, but she cleared her throat and wiped her eyes and looked up at him. "Go shower. You're gonna catch a cold right before we head back. I'll heat up your dinner."

"Did you eat?" He asked as he obediently got up. She gave him a _look_ , and he just smiled at her and winked. She chuckled, shaking her head and sniffling a little as she stood up and reached across the table to grab the plate.

"Go shower, you dork." She said with a sincere smile. The immediate crisis had been averted (though he couldn't tell if there had actually been one or not), and Kaisuki's spirits seemed to have been at least somewhat lifted. No one had gotten injured, and Saeka had managed to keep her temper in check, despite how badly he knew she'd wanted to slaughter Sasuke on the spot.

 _Another win for Uzumaki Naruto,_ he thought with a sigh as he walked down the hall to the bathroom. With any luck, his future wins would be more about fighting and beating enemies and less about repairing broken relationships between his teammates. He really wasn't suited for the latter.


	6. the chuunin exams

"Oh, and Kaisuki, could I speak with you for a moment before you go?" The Hokage requested just as they were walking out the door. Kaisuki turned and stared at him for a moment, relatively sure she knew what he wanted. The mission report Kakashi-sensei had just given him hadn't left out any details - especially not any _important_ details. She had been expecting him to want to speak to her, so she nodded silently.

"I'll see you later, Kaisuki," Naruto called to her from the door. She turned back to him, smiling and waving, before Kakashi-sensei closed the door behind Sasuke. He'd been distressingly quiet again since their last fight. Not necessarily refusing to speak to anyone, but seemingly never having anything to say. It worried her a little, but she didn't let herself dwell on it too much. He was probably just still mad at her and therefore brooding a lot.

"What did you want to speak to me about, Hokage-sama?" Kaisuki asked politely, her hands clasped behind her back. He took a puff from his pipe, smiling knowingly. She knew exactly what he wanted without having to ask, but it was polite to not make assumptions.

"I'm glad to see that you and Saeka seem to have come to some kind of accord." He said, eyes twinkling. "Tell me, how did that come about?"

"I have no idea," Kaisuki confessed without a thought. "She came around on her own."

"Really?" The Hokage raised his gray eyebrows, looking genuinely surprised. "I wonder why?"

She shrugged offhandedly, "I suppose I'll find out eventually."

The girl had been fairly quiet since Kaisuki had fought with Sasuke in Nami no Kuni. Saeka hadn't gone completely silent, but her humorous quips had quietened, and Kaisuki had been feeling a rather generalized bad mood coming from her since then. Occasionally, she'd mutter something nasty about the Uchiha, and Kaisuki constantly felt like the girl wanted to eviscerate him. She didn't quite understand why. The timing almost made it seem like a protective reaction to his awfulness, but she didn't feel like Saeka and her had gotten quite _that_ close. But she supposed it wasn't like she knew the girl well enough to understand how she reacted to friendliness and what her boundaries were with relationships. For all she knew, she had become Saeka's best friend simply by being nice to her.

"And there's another one, now, correct? Naruto told you her name was Miyamoto Izumi?" He inquired, and Kaisuki nodded silently. "And she's an irou-nin?"

"From Tsukigakure, yea." She replied, and the Hokage's eyes widened a little. "Is that not in the report? I must've forgot to tell Kakashi-sensei because I didn't really think it was important."

"It's not important," he said in agreement. "But it is interesting. I've never met anyone from Tsukigakure, even as long as I've been alive. Perhaps I'll be able to talk to her sometime."

"Maybe," Kaisuki nodded, offering a slight smile. Izumi didn't talk much, and when she did it was usually to offer medical advice. She didn't seem interested in making friends, or engaging in conversation outside of the necessary. Kaisuki had managed to get exactly one prolonged conversation out of her, and it had been while she was trying to sleep. Izumi seemed to feel best when the moon was out, ironically enough, but it only showed by the feeling of her mood and vibe.

"She doesn't really talk much," Kaisuki explained. "Saeka was talking more for a little while, but since the last time me and Sasuke fought-..."

"You and Sasuke fought?" The Hokage repeated, cutting her off. He blinked, speaking again, "I apologize, I didn't mean to interrupt you."

"It's fine," she replied with a shrug. "Yea, me and Sasuke had a fight last weekend. Saeka got mad at him when he said something really mean, and she's been cranky ever since. I think she hates him again. She had gotten over it, but now we're back to square one."

The wizened old man nodded, humming thoughtfully. "Did you ever figure out why she hated him before?"

Kaisuki nodded, "She said his chakra reminds her of someone she hates. I don't know who she was talking about though."

Another nod, another hum. "Well, I suppose we'll find out eventually, if she's willing to talk about it with you."

"I hope so," she returned. There was a pause as he sucked on his pipe a few more times and leaned back in his chair. Kaisuki lowered her gaze to her knees, frowning again. She didn't know how much Saeka would care about her divulging those kinds of things to people. She probably ought to ask the girl about it sometime. Probably after they'd gotten back on equal footing. Saeka seemed to _loathe_ Sasuke now, and while Kaisuki wasn't exactly fond of him either, she didn't want the girl to have such strong, negative feelings towards him. It could prove catastrophic for all involved parties.

"Kaisuki, do you know what the Chuunin Exams are?" The Hokage asked, and Kaisuki looked up at him, blinking.

"Yea, of course." She frowned at him. She had a bad feeling about the future of this conversation.

He nodded, "They are to be held this year. In three months. If Kakashi nominates his team to compete, you'll be sort of drafted into it as well." He explained, tugging gently at the white hair of his beard. "Would you have a problem with that? The Chuunin Exams are very dangerous. Probably more dangerous than your trip to Nami no Kuni."

Kaisuki stared at him. The Chuunin Exams? _Her_? She was surprised he was even asking. She didn't think that she'd have been allowed to compete in the Exams because of her status as a Yurei. She would've thought that the other team instructors might've had a problem with it.

Would she want to compete with the rest of her team? If she was honest with herself, the answer was both yes and no. She didn't want to have to risk unleashing a very angry Saeka upon the masses, though the girl had come so far in such a short amount of time, so she didn't know if she really needed to worry about that. She wanted to become a kunoichi, so attending the Chuunin Exams was a stepping stone to her goal anyway, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to take that step yet.

"I don't know if I could make that decision right now," Kaisuki finally conceded. "I suppose I'll compete if Kakashi-sensei wants us to, but if we don't, I won't be upset."

The Hokage smiled, nodding, "I was hoping you'd say that. Kaisuki, you've made some great progress over the past five months, especially within the last three weeks. With your help, Naruto has also made some astonishing progress that just hadn't been coming along without you. Sasuke's abilities have improved, though evidently his social skills could still use some work." She smiled a little at the Hokage's quip. "And Sakura has proven to both herself and her team that she can be as brave as she needs to be to become a kunoichi. I think all four of you could make it through the Chuunin Exams, and I think Kakashi will definitely nominate you this weekend."

Kaisuki grinned at him, wondering where all her determination and will to move forward was coming from. Five months ago, she wouldn't have been talking to the Hokage about attending the Chuunin Exams. She wouldn't have been talking about how she had fought with Sasuke, because she wouldn't have been talking to him. She wouldn't have been talking about how Saeka seemed to have calmed herself down, because Kaisuki wouldn't have been able to trust it. She wouldn't have been able to just be glad that her team had been safe after she blacked out and chased Zabuza away. She wouldn't have trusted Izumi not to be as unstable and unpredictable as Saeka had once been.

She really had come a long way. "Thank you, Hokage-sama," she said sincerely. The old man smiled warmly at her. "Was there anything else you wanted to discuss with me?"

He shook his head, "No, I think that's everything, Kaisuki. I'm glad you've found your place in the team, and I'm glad you've made such progress towards your goal."

Kaisuki nodded, smiling wider, though the expression was entirely fake. The Hokage didn't know what her goal was. No one did. No one needed to know. The Tsubaki leaned forward in a slight bow, her eyes on the floor. It was something that was important to _her_. It wasn't really anyone else's business, and no one would want to know about it anyway.

"Then I'll excuse myself, Hokage-sama. Thank you." She replied as she straightened up. He nodded at her, and she turned away from him and left the room. She had a long way to go, but the Chuunin Exams would only bring her closer to where she wanted to be. She sincerely hoped that Kakashi-sensei would enroll Team 7 in the Chuunin Exams.

...

"Hinata has shown considerable growth in her self-confidence and use of jyuuken. I think she'll do well in the exams, I believe that she will be able to grow as a person if she competes alongside her team." Kurenai concluded as she rolled up the scroll she had been referring to. It held the notes she had written up regarding her team, and by the sounds of it, they had come pretty far. He vaguely recalled meeting Hinata once when she'd been much, much younger. The girl was painfully shy, though that was the only detail he'd ever really recalled about her.

Iruka, who had been looking at the four jounin instructors with an incredibly disapproving look from the beginning, switched his intense gaze from Kurenai to Kakashi. He had purposely stood at the end of the line opposite from where he knew the Hokage would begin so he could go last. He didn't like it when Iruka looked at him like that.

"It sounds to me like you've made a lot of progress, especially with Hinata," Sarutobi commented, raising his pipe to his lips. "I hope to see great things from all three of them in the exams. Kakashi?"

He resisted the urge to sigh as Iruka's gaze darkened tenfold. Almost as soon as he'd walked in the door, Iruka had started yelling at him for showing up. The younger man didn't want him to enroll Team 7 in the Chuunin Exams because, as he'd said, 'I was their teacher for much longer than you've been, there's _no way_ they're ready for this yet!'

To which Kakashi had replied, 'don't worry about it.'

He knew the other three instructors enrolling their teams - Kurenai, Asuma, and Gai - were going to question his decision to send his team to the Chuunin Exams no matter what he said about them. Kaisuki had been labeled "extremely dangerous" and considered a liability to the village adults since the incident with Saeka when she was five. His fellow jounin didn't know about Saeka's sudden turnaround, so they were going to assume that she was still that dangerous. And then there was highly emotionally volatile Naruto, who happened to have the strongest of the nine tailed beasts sealed inside of him. Finally, there was Sasuke who, according to some, "shouldn't be allowed to pursue becoming a shinobi because his trauma had damaged him in ways that made him a liability to the village," or something absurd like that.

Sakura was the only member of his team who was "normal," with two loving parents, a crush on the cool guy from school, and a mild obsession with her appearance. At the same time, though, she was the most likely to get either seriously injured or killed in the exams. Kakashi knew Naruto and Kaisuki - at the very, _very_ least - would look out for her, and he was sure that Sakura would grow much stronger if she was tested against her rival, Yamanaka Ino, but he did worry a little.

Honestly, after all he'd taught them, if they did die during the exam, he would mourn the loss, but he wouldn't take the blame for it. After all, they'd taken on the Demon Swordsman of the Mist and his "tool." They had been prepared for the kind of level they would be encountering significantly more than their peers.

He didn't have a scroll to refer to. He didn't have a pre-written speech. He wasn't exactly the type to plot out what he would say before he said it. At least, not on paper, way ahead of time. He felt that he would be more honest if he had to come up with his speeches on the spot.

"Tsubaki Kaisuki, Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, and Uchiha Sasuke have made excellent progress on their paths to becoming shinobi," Kakashi stated rather blandly. "I think that they'll do fine in the Chuunin Exams, and all four of them want to attend, so I figured I might as well humor them. It's in my best interests to avoid telling them that they aren't good enough for something. If they die, that'll be their own fault." He stated disinterestedly.

The Hokage didn't seem at all surprised to hear what he was saying, and while he knew that they ought to have been expecting much the same from him, he was sure his fellow jounin were staring at him in disbelief. He had a tendency of garnering that kind of reaction from people.

"End report." He concluded. There was a pause, and he patiently waited for the barrage of clarifying questions that was sure to come. The Hokage watched him carefully for a long moment, before closing his eyes and nodding in agreement. Then, as Kakashi had been expecting, the questions came.

"Are you sure that Sasuke is ready for that level of bloodshed? He's been through so much, are you sure this won't affect him negatively?"

Kakashi was a little astounded that the first question was about Sasuke. He had been expecting them to start with Naruto or Kaisuki. Mostly Kaisuki. The question was a viable one, he supposed, but his fellow jounin didn't know the Uchiha very well. He was extremely resilient, considering all that had transpired in his short life.

He turned to look at Kurenai, who had spoken, and replied with only a hint of coolness to his voice, "You haven't seen the report from our latest mission, have you?" He asked, and there was a slightly stifling silence that filled the room. "It was supposed to be a D-rank mission, but it turned out to be an A-rank. Out of all of our teams, mine is probably the most well-prepared for the quality of danger they're going to be facing."

"An A-rank? _!_ " Iruka exclaimed out of nowhere, his eyes wide and his face drained of color, "Kakashi, why didn't you abandon the mission?"

"They didn't want to." Was his calm reply. Iruka's mouth opened and closed several times, but he seemed to be at a loss for words. That was a relief. Kakashi was sure he would be further yelled at later, but for now, it was nice to have the other man quietened down.

"And I take it Kaisuki and Naruto are of no concern to you?" Asuma asked, sounding much less confrontational than the other two had. He seemed to be willing to accept that Kakashi knew what he was talking about, which was greatly appreciated.

Kakashi nodded slightly, "No concern at all."

"How could Saeka not be a concern anymore?" Kurenai wanted to know, and Kakashi, though they were all friends, wanted very badly to smack her upside the head.

He chose to sigh irritably instead. "Saeka isn't a threat anymore," he told them. "Apparently, she's developed a sense of humor and some self-restraint."

"A sense of humor?" Gai repeated, sounding a surprised. He had been the one who saved Kakashi from certain death the one time Saeka had tried (and almost succeeded) to kill him. He'd still been hospitalized for a week, but he hadn't been dead. His self-proclaimed rival had been wary of Saeka ever since, possibly more so than Kakashi.

"Yep," he replied. "She's actually pretty fun."

Sarutobi chuckled lightly, tapping out the ash from his pipe onto an ash tray. "I have no issue with Kakashi's decision to enroll his team in the exams." He stated decisively. "Team 7 will compete in the Chuunin Exams, as their jounin instructor has requested."

"But, Hokage-sama-...!" Iruka started to speak, but Sarutobi held up a hand to silence him.

"That's enough, Iruka." He chided sternly, "You are no longer their teacher. You don't get to make the decisions on their behalf anymore."

Iruka looked fairly devastated to hear that. Kakashi didn't blame him - he'd been in charge of those kids for their entire academic career. He had quite a bit emotionally invested in them, especially Naruto. But, as the Hokage had said, they weren't his charges anymore. He didn't get to make those decisions anymore, and he wasn't even really supposed to be a part of this meeting.

"The announcement will take place tomorrow," Sarutobi told them. "Don't be late, Kakashi."

The corner of his mouth tilted down a little, "Of course not, Hokage-sama." He said, knowing full and well that such a thing was probably impossible. He knew that Sarutobi didn't really expect him to _not_ be late. He was probably the only person who knew what Kakashi spent his mornings doing. He knew Gai didn't know. He didn't think Kurenai knew. He knew that Asuma didn't know. If anyone else knew, it'd have to have been Iruka. He'd been drunk around that man too many times for him to _not_ know.

"You're dismissed." The Hokage said, waving them off. The four of them bowed slightly, turning and leaving the room, Iruka hanging back. He was probably going to try to change Sarutobi's mind. Apparently he hadn't figured out just how stubborn the man was yet.

"Are you sure it's a good idea, Kakashi?" Gai asked from beside him, and he looked over at the other man. He looked serious about his question, and Kakashi wanted desperately to reply with something smart and scathing, but he knew that his friend was just trying to look out for him.

"I'm sure, Gai." Was his only reply to the question as they stepped outside. His fellow jounin just didn't know his team the way he had come to know them. They didn't know what kind of progress his team had made. They didn't know how his team had changed. Kakashi couldn't expect them to be anything but worried. He just sort of wished they'd just trust his judgment on the matter.

 _Well,_ he thought tiredly, pulling his book out of his kunai pouch. _At least they're willing to give me_ _ **some**_ _benefit of the doubt._

%MCEPASTEBIN%


	7. the test

The Chuunin Exams took place in four separate locations. The first of those locations was a building that managed to be extremely intimidating despite looking like nothing more than a regular academic building. It probably had a lot to do with the strangers surrounding them on all sides, or the fact that it was, well, _the Chuunin Exams._

Kaisuki more or less had an idea of what she was walking into, but it didn't make it any less nerve-wracking. Sakura had told her about the four stages of the exams, and she had told her about the kind of people they might encounter, and Kaisuki was relatively sure that everything she'd said had been precisely what Iruka-sensei had said.

Currently, the hundred or so genin were milling around an enormous atrium, waiting for some adult or another to come down the corridor and tell them it was time to become extremely stressed out. Kaisuki had been doing her best all morning to remain calm, but it was surprisingly difficult. She was usually easily able to keep a level head, but today it was nearly impossible.

She looked up from her hands, glancing around the area. Team 7 was sitting and standing on and around a windowsill that had a pretty great view of the room. It was at the top of a short flight of stairs that led only to a set of three large windows. There were many faces in the atrium, some of them appearing to be fairly harmless, others looking as though they had killed a great many people already. She chewed her lip, eyes drifting over the many persons around the room, before her gaze settled on a relatively nearby trio from Sunagakure.

They all looked to be different ages, which Kaisuki found a little odd. Normally, teams were comprised of peers of the same age. The blonde girl looked to be close to eighteen, while the boy wearing face paint looked around fifteen. Finally, her eyes settled on the redhead. He looked around her age, and there was something about him that felt... familiar, almost. She knew she didn't know him. She'd never seen anyone even remotely similar to him in her life. She'd never even been to Sunagakure. But there was something about him...

"Attention!" Someone hollered, and everyone looked in the direction of voice, all the whipsering that had been filling the huge room silencing immediately. Standing on a loft above them that had been closed off to them was a man. Kaisuki vaguely recognized him, but she didn't have a name to match his face.

He chewed on what looked like a senbon needle for a moment, before speaking again, "The exam is ready to start. Your teams were all given a number. If the number for your team is odd and under twenty-five you'll be going down that hallway, first door on the right," he pointed down at one of the two doors beneath the atrium, more specifically the one on the left. "If your number is odd and over twenty-five, same hallway, second door on the right. If your number is even and under twenty-five, go through the other door, and it'll be the first door on the left. Over twenty-five and even, you go down the same hallway and it'll be - you guessed it - the second door on the left."

"You'll receive further instruction at the end of this section, assuming you and your team get through it." He concluded, "So, please recall the number your team received and proceed _in_ _an orderly fashion_ down the halls. Each individual person will receive another number upon entering their exam room. That'll be where you sit, and you'll be expected to sit down as soon as you walk in the door. Don't dawdle or wander around the room. Thank you for your time." He gave them a curt nod, gesturing widely to the doors below him, before turning away and heading back from where he had apparently come.

There was a brief pause, as if everyone was waiting for further directions, before the sound of two locks clicking reached out through the room. The doors were pushed open, and two chuunin (or perhaps jounin, it was impossible to tell) stood by the doors and held them open.

"What was our number?" Naruto suddenly asked, turning around to face them with wide, mildly panicked eyes. He had to think that the rest of them had forgotten.

"Twenty-six." Sakura supplied in exasperation, "Jeez, Naruto, pay attention."

He grinned sheepishly at her, "S-sorry, Sakura-chan."

"Let's go, then?" Kaisuki offered as she stood up, pressing her sweating hands against her pants. She hoped she hadn't missed too much of the academy to flunk the exam portion. She'd gotten Sakura to tutor her on some of the harder subjects, but she _had_ missed the last four years of school, and she hadn't taken any remedial classes before joining Team 7. The Hokage seemed to believe in learning on the job, which was great and all, but if she was going to pass this test she was going to need more than real-world experience.

"Yea," Sasuke agreed, and they started towards the door on the right. It took nearly twenty minutes to actually get to the door of the exam room, as a line had formed and everyone was taking forever, even though getting a number and sitting down ought to not take very long.

Her seat number, once she got it, was thirteen. Second row down on the left end of the table on the right side of the room. She sat down and looked around the room. It was already mostly full, so there probably wouldn't be much more time before the exam began. Sasuke was sitting two rows in front of her on the opposite side of the table. Sakura had been placed in the middle of the left side of the room. Naruto had been put on the first row of the left side.

She hoped Naruto would be alright. It wasn't that he wasn't a smart person. That had never been the problem. He had just never had the attention span to get through a day of school without getting into some kind of trouble, or falling asleep, or straight up disappearing during lunch time or recess. He had missed a lot of schooling as well, and what he had been around for he probably hadn't retained. Naruto was kinesthetic learner - he had to be doing what he was taught. He couldn't just read it or see it or hear it. He had to _do_ it.

A few minutes after the last seat had been taken, the door to the room opened abruptly. A heavily scarred man stepped into the room, looking very intimidating as his beady eyes scanned the room. He was scowling at them as if they had already done something terribly wrong. It wasn't ten seconds into the stare-down before Kaisuki realized she had started glaring back at him. This guy seemed to be under the impression that his grim appearance and expression would scare them off. Clearly, he had never encountered Saeka when she was in a bad mood.

"My name is Morino Ibiki," he said in a gravelly voice. "I'm going to be the moderator for this portion of the Chuunin Exams. Before we begin, I will explain the rules of this exam."

He glowered at them all for a moment before continuing, "You'll note that there are a number of jounin sitting against the wall around the room. Their job is to look for those of you who are cheating. If you are caught cheating on this exam, you and your entire team will forfeit automatically." He frowned darkly. "You will have two and a half hours to complete this test. If you can't handle the pressure, leave. There's no room for weakness in these exams."

There was a stiffness that spread through the room. Several of the attendees seemed to have already gotten the jitters. There was a pit of anger settled in her gut. This guy was literally just trying to scare as many people out of the exam as he could, and before it even started. They had picked the scariest looking jounin they could find to use as a scare tactic.

"Before we begin, is there anyone who'd like to forfeit now?" Morino-san asked bluntly. The tone of his voice was clear - _are there any cowards sitting in this room right now_? He may as well have just come through and said it. Morino-san was a jerk, needless to say. She hadn't been expecting anyone to be kind to them during these exams, but the unnecessary awfulness of this guy was infuriating. She felt like she was being severely underestimated.

Someone in the middle of the room stood up. Kaisuki couldn't have denied that she was a little astounded. Were there really going to be people who couldn't handle intimidation of that level? If that was the case, maybe they _were_ right to start with scare tactics. She frowned, watching as the person's team members also stood up, all of them looking like they were happy to be getting out of there, even with the mild public humiliation.

Two more teams vacated the room before things settled back down. "Is that all?" Morino-san asked, raising an eyebrow. "Good. Then, we'll pass out the exams now. Don't turn your paper over until you're told."

Someone stood up from the line of jounin against the wall stood up, a stack of paper in his hands. As he walked around the room and set sheets of paper down in front of the test takers, Kaisuki spent a moment sizing up her competition. The team with that boy with the gourd were in the same exam room as her. They didn't _look_ like much, but she had a feeling they were extremely dangerous, simply by virtue of the fact that they were from Sunagakure.

Sunagakure took their genin much more seriously than Konohagakure. They occasionally wiggled around as though they were about to start a war with their neighbors, but they always drew back when they were reminded of Hi no Kuni's many, many allies. Kaze no Kuni had fewer allies than Hi no Kuni, and so they had to make up for it by keeping their shinobi at a much higher skill level than other countries would expect from their shinobi. Because of that, the people of Sunagakure likely assumed that Konohagakure was made up of unskilled softies.

Obviously, they didn't know much about Konohagakure, but they _were_ right about one thing: the village Kaisuki called home did not expect as much from their genin now that the wars had ended. Kakashi-sensei had told them that much already. When their instructor had been a child, genin were expected to be able to kill efficiently, conduct reconnaissance missions alone, interrogate enemies on the battlefield, and preform many more jutsus than Kaisuki's peers had learned in the academy. Sunagakure hadn't changed their expectations after the wars had ended. They still liked their genin to be as skilled as the chuunin from Konohagakure, if not more so.

It didn't mean for a second that her home had become soft, or that they were vulnerable. They made up for their lack of highly skilled genin with jounin and chuunin that could compensate for more than five times the skill level of the genin from even Sunagakure. Konohagakure was home to some of the most incredible shinobi, such as the first Hokage, Senju Hashirama; the prodigy from the once great clan, Uchiha Itachi; and the legendary Sannin. They housed ANBU, a force rivaled by no organization in the entire Shinobi Nations. Konohagakure would likely be underestimated for the rest of eternity, simply because they were taught kindness and empathy before they were taught how to kill.

The redhead she'd been watching was one row ahead of her on the opposite side of the room, on the end of the table closest to the middle aisle. He had taken off his gourd and set it beside him, but the way he slouched forward was enough to tell her that he pretty much never took it off. The way he sat looked uncomfortable to her. She slouched when she sat down as well, but not that bad. He probably had all kinds of back problems.

He must've been able to sense that she was watching him, because he shifted in his seat slightly and looked over his shoulder. She didn't take her eyes off him, instead choosing to make eye contact. His eyes were hostile, and icy, but it wasn't like she'd never seen that before. Just a glare wasn't enough to scare her. Not after Saeka. She didn't think _anything_ would be able to scare her after Saeka.

He seemed to be sizing her up, and she was perfectly fine with it. She'd spent the past five minutes sizing him up, so allowing him to do the same was really only fair. She still felt like she knew him somehow. Or that there was something about him that reminded her of someone. She just didn't know what it was. It wasn't even like it felt like positive "memory." It was as though she'd met him before in battle and had simply forgotten his name, or something. It was really weird.

 _"He's an insomniac."_ At first, Kaisuki didn't even recognize the voice, because she heard it so infrequently. But after a split second, she recognized the voice as Izumi's, and listened to her carefully. " _He's been an insomniac for a long, long time._ "

She schooled her expression so that it didn't betray her emotions. An insomniac, huh? She knew how that was. He probably wasn't sleeping for a very different reason than her's, but she knew how painful it could get to be unable to sleep at night. She could relate to him on that level, and she supposed perhaps that was what she was finding so familiar about the haunted look in his eyes, but that just didn't _feel_ like the right answer.

" _You should get his name later,_ " Izumi spoke again after a couple of seconds. " _He probably doesn't have many allies, with a face like that._ "

" _I'm not sure he's looking for friends._ " Kaisuki replied, but she silently promised to try and get the boy's name later, assuming she got a chance. She blinked, pulling herself back to reality. The jounin that had been handing out the tests had gotten to the redhead's row, and he was staring at her with an odd look in his eyes. Wondering if Izumi was right, Kaisuki allowed herself to relax enough to offer a warm, friendly smile. The boy didn't move for a moment. Then, he glared at her. His shoulders had stiffened, and as she watched him, she noticed his eyes glaze over for a second before he finally nodded curtly at her, and then turned back around to face the front of the room.

She didn't quite know what she thought about him. For a moment, it'd seemed like he would stand up from his seat and eviscerate her. He seemed hard to read beyond what Izumi had told her, and she wasn't exactly sure how interested she was in befriending him. He seemed pretty angry and distrusting, and she didn't think she'd be able to break the ice before he left Konohagakure, possibly to never return again.

"Now that you've all received your tests," Morino-san said loudly, attracting the wandering attention of the test takers. "You may begin."

Kaisuki flipped over her test, looking over the list of questions. There wasn't a single one that a genin would know the answer to. They were questions that a chuunin or a jounin might know, but certainly not a genin. She raised her head, glancing at her teammates. Sakura had gotten right to work - she was probably one of the few people in the room who could honestly answer the questions without even thinking of cheating. Sasuke hadn't started writing yet, but it looked from where she sat as though he were scanning the room.

Naruto, on the other hand, was panicking. She could tell by the way he kept adjusting his hitai-ate, and the hunch of his shoulders, and the slight tremor in his dominant hand. She hoped he wouldn't do anything stupid. If this test was panning out the way she was expecting, he might be able to get away with guessing on all of the questions, or not answering any of them at all.

Deciding to act under the assumption that the purpose of the test was to see how well they could gather information without getting caught, she spent a moment looking around the room. She didn't have a whole lot of resources at her disposal. She was either going to have to go ahead and not bother answering any of questions (or outright guessing) or she was going to have to get _really_ creative.

" _The first one is 'D.'_ " Izumi said out of nowhere. Kaisuki blinked, looking down at the test. She stared at it hard, wishing there was some way for her to proof Izumi's answers. " _I'm a thirty-four year-old jounin, Kaisuki. The answer is 'D.'_ "

She couldn't really argue with that, and it wasn't like she had any better answers to offer up, so she went ahead and circled the one Izumi had told her to circle. She would simply have to trust that the irou-nin wouldn't lie to her. It wasn't like Izumi had any reason to be malicious in this situation.

So, that was how she answered the rest of the questions. After the second question, Izumi started explaining the questions and their answers to her, and Kaisuki paid close attention to her words as she wrote in her answers.

She hadn't interacted with Izumi that much before. The woman was very quiet, and rarely spoke up for anything that wasn't related to something medical. She had noticed a few weeks ago when Sasuke had started showing the earliest signs of falling ill and had helped Kaisuki put together a concoction for him to put into a cup of tea every night before bed. Sure enough, Sasuke didn't get as sick as he had been looking he would, and was back to normal within forty-eight hours.

So far, she had been extremely helpful, but Kaisuki would've liked to have more personable conversations with her. She didn't seem inclined to want to have much in the way of those, though, and Kaisuki wasn't one to push at something like that. Izumi would come around in her own time. Or she wouldn't. There wasn't anything Kaisuki could really do to influence it.

All around her, during the course of the test, numbers were called out and teams were forfeited. She didn't pay any attention. She knew the numbers of her teammates, and she kept an ear out for those numbers, but that was the extent of the attention she paid to her surroundings. She was the second person to finish the test - the first being Sakura _,_ of course.

" _Thank you, Izumi._ " She offered hopefully.

She hadn't been expecting an answer, as Izumi didn't usually respond to thank-yous, so when the woman spoke up, she was a bit surprised, but very pleased. " _I'm happy to help._ " It wasn't much, but it was more than she'd ever given before. It was progress, in Kaisuki's eyes.

" _If you see Saeka, can you tell her I'm a little worried?_ " Kaisuki requested, and she felt the woman hesitate for a moment.

" _If I see her, yes._ " Izumi promised, and Kaisuki had to work extremely hard to not grin happily. Being on friendly terms with her spirits was actually fairly uplifting, especially after all the trouble Saeka had given her for such a long time. Now that they were all friends - or at least, approaching friends, she could rest easier. She didn't feel a rush of anxiety whenever she saw Sasuke or Kakashi-sensei.

She hadn't had a nightmare since they'd gotten back from Nami no Kuni. And _that_ was a major accomplishment.

"Put down your pencils and turn over your exams." Morino-san said a good five minutes early. There was a moment in which everyone in the room stared at him, and Kaisuki thought that perhaps there would be a riot right there in the exam room. But after a few seconds of stillness and silence, everyone obediently laid their pencils down to rest and flipped their exams over.

"You should all already know the perils that you're going to face after this part of the exam is over. Over half of you will be dead by the time the Forest of Death is through with you. After that, only half of that number will go on to the final matches." Morino-san said, eying them all with distaste and boredom. Kaisuki wanted to shove a handful of kunai down his throat. "If you're afraid of dying, you should leave now. Fear of death will only ensure that you will be killed, and there's no room for hesitation and weakness in these exams."

A lot of people had already left or been kicked out. Anyone who remained ought to already have known what lay ahead, but Kaisuki could see a lot of people shifting around uncomfortably in their seats, considering the option of leaving. It was a little amazing to her that they could've come this far and there were still people being intimidated out of the room by Morino-san.

"Cut the bullshit!" She flinched at the loudness of the sudden voice, immediately recognizing it as Naruto. She stared at him from where she sat in the back of the room, eyes wide. He had slammed a fist down on the table in front of him, and he spoke indignantly, "All you're trying to do is scare me off! You couldn't _possibly_ know if even a _fourth_ of us will die, and you're not going to make me give up! So blow it out your ass and stop acting like you've got a _clue_ how this'll turn out!"

Just the look on Morino-san's face was enough to make Kaisuki think that maybe they were about to get thrown out of the Chuunin Exams because Naruto had decided to explode at the _exam moderator._ But then she saw the way the man's eyes swept over the room, and she noticed that those who had been looking doubtful about the future were looking more optimistic. They were looking more sure of themselves, more determined. She smiled slightly at the back of Naruto's head. He really was something.

The silence stretched on for a good minute and a half, no one moving from their seats. Then, Morino-san chuckled to himself, shaking his head in disbelief. When he looked back at them, his eyes held a certain amount of respect that hadn't been there before. He looked directly at Naruto for a moment, before returning his attention to the rest of the faces around the room.

"Congratulations," he finally said, and Kaisuki's smile broadened just a little. She watched Naruto as he withdrew his hand from the table, where his fist had been resting the whole time. He was probably confused out of his mind. "You've passed the first section of the Chuunin Exams."

Naruto slumped back in his seat at that. His body language looked both relieved and confused. "This first section was to gauge your information gathering skills and mental fortitude while under stress. You've done well to make it through this section, but don't let it get to your heads." Morino-san continued, looking very pleased. Kaisuki wasn't sure if she wanted to hit him or thank him. "If you head back out to the atrium, there will be someone there to take you to the forty-fourth training grounds for the next section. Best of luck to you all."

Immediately, everyone started moving about to leave the room. Kaisuki stood at the end of the aisle she was in, waiting for her team to arrive on her side of the room. She looked over towards the redhead she'd been eying earlier, watching him as he lifted his gourd up and slung it over his shoulder. It certainly didn't help his posture any. He turned in her direction, evidently planning to meet his team in the atrium, when he caught her staring again.

Kaisuki knew she ought to feel abashed for staring at this poor fellow so much, but she really didn't. She wasn't known for being easily embarrassed. Their eyes met again, and he glared at her. She smiled back at him, and his eyes glazed over again. There was a beat where he simply stared at her with glassy eyes, and then a moment later he was glaring murderously at her before turning his attention away so he could follow the throng of genin walking out the door.

She didn't know what it was, but she could've sworn she knew him from somewhere.

.

The Hokage was talking to their new moderator when they arrived at the Forest of Death. As Team 7 was walking at the front of the group (at Naruto's insistence), they had a front row seat of the forest, their moderator, and the Hokage who wasn't really supposed to be there.

Their moderator was a young, wild-looking woman with a lively spark in her eyes. As they approached, she turned towards them and grinned, looking very excited. Kaisuki felt a stab of anger that didn't belong to her as they drew closer, and she felt her hands spasm in her pockets. She blinked, confused. That had felt like Saeka, but she didn't really feel present. She cast the thoughts from her mind for the time being.

They came to a stop a few yards away from her, and the man who had led them there walked right past her, making a beeline for the Hokage. The two of them spoke for a moment, before the Hokage walked up beside the new moderator.

"I'm Mitarashi Anko. I'm the moderator for this section of the Chuunin Exams," the woman told them. Then, with an amused look in her eyes, she added, "There's a lot more of you than I was expecting. No matter, half of you will be gone by day three anyway."

"Before you get to that, Anko: Tsubaki Kaisuki, may I have a word?" He said. She stiffened, unsure of what she had done to warrant the attention of the Hokage during the Chuunin Exams. They weren't supposed to see him until the preliminaries, which came _after_ the Forest of Death.

She hesitated momentarily before striding forward. The Hokage smiled at her, beckoning her as he turned and started walking further away from the genin and their instructor. She could hear the woman talking to everyone else as the two of them walked away. She waited patiently, knowing that the Hokage (much like Kakashi-sensei) enjoyed making people wait. He liked surprised people, and so he would drag out a story, or wait to offer up an explanation, or pause dramatically mid-sentence. It was incredibly annoying.

"What did you want to see me about, Hokage-sama?" She asked once they were out of earshot. They were walking around the front of the forest, coming around a bend in the fencing.

"As you know," he began. "Team 7 has one more person than they're supposed to."

Kaisuki nodded, "Yea, I know." She said slowly, unsure of what lay in store for her. The two of them were coming up on a small tent with a table underneath it. On the table, she could see a stack of papers, a pile of pencils, and a brown satchel. None of the things there looked particularly special, but the Hokage led her right over to it.

"Because of that, you will not be accompanying Natruto, Sasuke, and Sakura into the Forest of Death." The Hokage stated, and Kaisuki opened her mouth immediately to argue, but he held up a hand to silence her. "Hear me out. We've figured out a way to let you go in alone without necessarily signing your death certificate."

"I'd like to hear that." She muttered under her breath, and he smiled at her.

"You will go into the forest an hour before everyone else, after being introduced to everyone. You will take this bag," he picked up the satchel that had been sitting on the table and handed it to her. "It has six scrolls in it. In this part of the exams, each team will be given one scroll - an earth scroll or a heaven scroll - and they will have to acquire the other. You get six scrolls, three earth and three heaven. You must bring back at least one of each no earlier than the evening of the second day. Also, you aren't allowed to do give one of your scrolls to your team. Everything else is permissible."

"So, I get a head start, but everyone and their mother is going to be looking for me." Kaisuki replied slowly. Out of everyone on her team, she had the highest likelihood of survival, even on her own, because of Izumi and Saeka (if she was willing to be helpful).

"Yes," The Hokage replied, smiling knowingly at her. "I'm sure you'll do fine, Kaisuki."

" _He didn't say you couldn't find your team and help them so they can help you._ " Izumi spoke up suddenly, and Kaisuki could feel that she was smiling. She seemed to be getting into the groove of the Chuunin Exams and enjoying herself at this point. She held back the urge to grin.

" _Yea, exactly_ ," Kaisuki agreed enthusiastically. Then, after a beat, she added suddenly, " _Hey, how is Saeka?_ "

She felt Izumi hesitate, before she replied, " _She's angry. She won't tell me why. And she doesn't like that Mitarashi Anko woman._ " She sighed, and continued, " _You should probably talk to her yourself._ "

" _She won't talk to me, though,_ " Kaisuki mumbled in response. Izumi didn't answer her right away, and after about thirty seconds had passed, Kaisuki figured she wasn't planning to reply at all. She sighed aloud, blinking rapidly to clear the haze from her vision. The Hokage was scrutinizing her carefully.

"Talking to someone?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. She hesitated briefly before nodding.

"Izumi," she replied easily. Then, she added hesitantly. "Saeka's... well... I mean, I dunno... I guess I ... I shouldn't really talk to you about it without her permission. Sorry."

He nodded understandingly, "Of course, Kaisuki. I respect their privacy as much as you do." He looked over her shoulder at something, before looking back at her. "They're coming over now. I'm going to head off, then. I hope to see you at the preliminaries."

Kaisuki smiled wryly at him, "Me too."

She turned around to face the mob of people walking towards her. She could see her team still walking at the front of the group. As they drew closer, Kaisuki noticed that Naruto looked a little pale. She wondered briefly what she'd missed. Probably more intimidating, if she had to guess. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her imagined scenario, instead smiling and waving at her team.

"Hey, Kaisuki, right?" Mitarashi-san greeted, walking over to her. Kaisuki nodded, and was guided over to stand before the mob of people. "This is Kaisuki," she introduced the Tsubaki with a smirk on her face. She seemed very amused by everything. "Her team is made up of four people, so she's going to be going into the forest alone. She will have on her person three earth scrolls and three heaven scrolls. The only people she can't give scrolls to, and the only people who can't take her scrolls, are her teammates."

Naruto's eyes widened in horror, and Sakura paled considerably. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, though he didn't look like he was worried about her getting herself killed. She didn't know if that was because he thought she could handle herself or if he didn't care. They hadn't been on the friendliest terms since their last fight in Nami no Kuni. He hadn't gone back to ignoring her, but the two of them weren't being nice to each other any more than they absolutely had to.

She smiled at Sakura and Naruto reassuringly. They didn't seem convinced, but there wasn't a whole lot she could do about that. Sasuke glanced at Naruto and Sakura briefly before rolling his eyes.

"She's going to be entering the forest right now, while the rest of you are doing paperwork." Mitarashi-san stated. Naruto and Sakura exchanged a glance, looking like they wanted to step in. Kaisuki hoped they decided against it. "There are things for you to sign and fill out on this table, and there are writing implements as well, so get to it."

She saw Sakura's hand move to raise up, but Sasuke grabbed her wrist and prevented her from lifting her arm up, before leaning over and muttering something to her. She looked at him, distressed, before looking back to Kaisuki, who only smiled at her again. Then, she bit her lip and leaned over to pass the message to Naruto. He looked disbelieving, and then looked at Kaisuki again. She smiled at him as well. His shoulders drooped in defeat.

"Let's get going, shall we, Kaisuki?" Mitarashi-san said, leading her over to a nearby gate. "You're going in right here. Everyone else will be entering the forest in an hour. I advise you don't wait around."

"Of course," Kaisuki replied, holding back the urge to comment scathingly on Mitarashi-san's presumption that she was an _idiot_. The woman unlocked the gate and wrenched it open. The metal joints squealed loudly, and Kaisuki gritted her teeth to make them stop aching.

"Good luck, kid." The smirking woman said. Kaisuki didn't reply, stepping into the forest and looking around herself briefly. Then, she took off at a dead run, concealing herself in the shrubbery and darkness. She moved forward for about two minutes before running up a tree. The higher up she could get, the better she'd be able to survey the area.

She was going to have to try and cover a lot of distance in a fairly short amount of time. Everyone was going to make their own guesses as to how far she could get in an hour. She was going to have to outdo the furthest possible distance they might assume she would travel.

" _Be careful_ ," Saeka's voice floated up from the back of Kaisuki's head. She continued forward, wondering if it would be safe to respond when she was moving. She was going to have to learn how to talk to them without spacing out somehow.

 _No better time to start than now._ She thought to herself. " _I will, Saeka. Are you alright?_ "

" _ **He's**_ _here._ " Was the immediate reply, and Saeka sounded furious. Kaisuki wasn't sure if she should be wary or not. Who was "he?" For the first time since the Chuunin Exams had started, Saeka had come back to the forefront of Kaisuki's mind, and the first thing she'd gotten from the dead girl was the sense that there was someone she wanted to kill.

" _Who's "he?"_ " Kaisuki wanted to know, but Saeka didn't reply. She wasn't sure why she was reacting with anxiety. It couldn't be Sasuke. If it was Sasuke, Saeka would've addressed him as such. She seemed to be concealing both the identity and her ties to whoever it was that she was so angry at. Kaisuki couldn't help but wonder if this man was the one behind _all_ of Saeka's anger. She'd certainly sounded murderous, and in a way Kaisuki had never heard before. Saeka's anger towards Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei had been explosive and violent. Her anger now seemed nothing of the sort. She definitely sounded like she was planning to butcher someone alive, but the concept of her _planning_ to kill someone was a new thing all by itself. Normally, she'd just take over and at least attempt to slaughter the person her anger was directed at.

Though, since her fight with Sasuke in Nami no Kuni, it seemed as though Saeka had gotten past the days of tantrums and explosive rage. She had been angry enough to skin Sasuke alive, but she hadn't so much as tried. She had scared him half to death, but she hadn't _hurt_ him. It was a far cry from the last time Sasuke infuriated her, that was for sure.

It seemed like every time she turned around, something had changed with Saeka for the better, and Kaisuki didn't know why. She wasn't the one causing it, she was relatively sure, but Izumi had said that her and Saeka weren't really friends (yet). Was it just that she had gotten better control over herself as time went on? Even her chakra felt reduced in terms of how unpredictable and chaotic it was.

Kaisuki had no idea what was going on. She didn't know enough about spirits and Yurei. She couldn't even make an educated guess because she was grossly uninformed. Eventually, she was going to have to find out where her origins lay.

She came to a stop, glancing up at the sky. She'd been moving for about two hours. She had no idea where her team was, and Saeka seemed to have disappeared again. She dropped down to the lower branches, keeping her eyes peeled and her ears open. There were a lot of sounds coming from every direction, but none of it sounded like battle yet. She continued forward, hopping through the branches a little more slowly as she tried to listen for any signs of human life, but there were none. She must've gotten further ahead than she'd thought she would.

 _For now,_ she thought to herself. _I'll keep moving. If Saeka comes back, I'll see about getting her to help me catch up with Naruto and the others._


	8. the forest of death

It was rather like his life flashing before his eyes.

_"Run, and cling desperately to life..."_

He wasn't ready to die. He hadn't even accomplished his goal yet.

_Move. Move. Move. Move. Move. Move. Move. Move. Move._

_"We're not friends anymore!"_

He needed to run. He needed to get Sakura and himself out of there.

_Please, please, move. I need to run. We need to get out of here. Please, body, move. Please. Move. Move. Move._

He could hardly breathe, let alone move his hands. He didn't know if what he'd seen had been a genjutsu or not. It'd seemed as real as Itachi's Tsukuyomi had been. His heart was in his throat and his body _wouldn't move_. He wasn't going to be able to defend either himself or Sakura like this. Where was Naruto? If that idiot was good for one thing, it was his lack of fear towards _anything_. At the very least, his ability to rush forward and attack people head-on without a care in the world might prompt Sasuke to do _something_.

_**Since when do we let Naruto outdo us on anything?** _

"Don't worry," Hebi, as Sasuke had decided to call him, drawled with a smirk. "I'll end it in an instant. You won't have time to suffer."

_Move. Move. Move. Move. Move._

The long-haired man pulled two kunai free of his kunai holster, twirling them around his fingers as he approached. Sasuke's legs were shaking, it felt like his knees would buckle. His fingers were cramping around the kunai he was holding. Sakura was on her knees beside him, shaking like a leaf, tears streaming from her wide eyes. She had never really been suited for combat in the first place. She was wholly unprepared for this. At the very least, Sasuke had been in a similar position in the past.

He needed to get them out of there, but he couldn't move. His heart was beating a fierce rhythm in his throat, and he couldn't take a deep breath. He needed to run. He needed to run. He needed to run. He needed to run.

_Move. Move. Move. Move. Move._

Hebi lifted the kunai, taking careful aim with a smile that was pure evil. He took several more steps forward before coming to a stop, "It's too bad." He said, "I was hoping to have more fun than this. Now I'm all disappointed."

_Move move move move move move move move move_

_"Survive in an unsightly way..."_

All at once, his whole body violently jerked into motion. He jammed the kunai he'd been holding into his thigh, yanking himself away from his terror by replacing it with pain. Then, just an instant before the kunai hit him, he scooped Sakura into his arms and leaped off into the trees.

Sasuke put as much distance between himself and Hebi as possible, relying solely on adrenaline to keep himself going. He knew the wound on his leg was going to be excruciating once he stopped moving and settled down, but he didn't care. It didn't matter. He had to keep moving, he had to keep fighting.

_"...cling to life..."_

_**We'll do a lot more than cling.** _

When he finally landed in a relatively sheltered spot, he had no idea how long he'd been moving. He didn't have a clue how far away he had gotten. He didn't know how far back Naruto was. They needed to find that stupid guy before something happened to him. He set Sakura down carefully before collapsing against the trunk of the tree whose roots he'd landed on. His leg was already hurting enough that he didn't really want to walk on it. He'd jammed that kunai in way too deep. He was going to have trouble moving around as fast as he usually did. That was extremely bad news.

His heart was still hammering. How long did they have before that freak caught up to them? Should they try to loop around behind him to find Naruto? Was that even plausible? What were their options? He didn't know what to do. Zabuza and Haku had been _nothing_ compared to this guy. The difference in their levels was astronomical. There was no way they'd be able to get away. They were probably going to end up being killed by him in some unsightly way.

_"Live, Sasuke, until you're strong enough to face me again."_

Would he ever be that strong?

_**At the rate we're going, we won't live to try.** _

He swallowed hard, trying to quell the shaking in his limbs. Plan. He needed a plan. He needed to-...

He jerked violently when something touched him, nearly pulling a kunai and slashing at the offender. He found himself staring at Sakura, who was watching him with wide eyes. Her face was still smeared with tears, and her face was bruised and cut up. He'd forgotten she was with him. Sakura being with him was a rather important detail that he couldn't afford to forget about.

"S-... S-... Sasuke-kun...?" She stuttered, her voice barely above a whisper. He held up a finger to his lips to silence her, and she nodded shakily. She understood how delicate their current situation was. It was only a matter of time before they were found. They ought to keep moving, but Sasuke didn't know how long he'd be able to run on his injured leg, and if he was going to have to fight anyway ( _because there's no way we'll outrun him_ ), he'd rather do it when he had plenty energy to spare.

He turned to look around the vast trunk of the tree they were sheltered under. He needed to stay alert. He swallowed hard, eyes darting around as he scanned the area for any signs of movement.

"Sh-... shouldn't we k-keep moving?" Sakura whispered, and he turned back to her again. The way her expression changed suggested to him that he probably had a look of utter panic written all over his face. There wasn't really any way for him to conceal it at this point.

Sasuke opened his mouth to reply, but no sound came out. He took in a shaky breath and tried again, speaking as quietly as Sakura was, "We need to... to find Naruto." He told her, and she nodded in agreement. "But-..."

"Ah, here you are." His heart leaped into his throat again, and he spun around and let several kunai and shuriken fly in the direction he'd heard the voice from. The blades he'd thrown hit the tree harmlessly, embedding in the wood.

"Get up, Sakura," he hissed, and he heard her scrambling to her feet behind him. He heard Hebi's laughter from what seemed like every direction, and he could only continue to search for him helplessly. Even with his Sharingan activated, he couldn't find him. Sasuke's mouth was dry, his body starting to tremble again.

"Sakura," he said quietly, and he felt her lean in to listen to him. "When he comes out, I'll engage him. You go find Naruto."

"But-...!" She started to protest, but he turned to look at her, unable to hide his fear and desperation, and she immediately silenced herself. She bit her lip, her eyes welling with tears. "What about you?" She mumbled.

"If you hurry," he told her. "I might be able to avoid dying."

_Emphasis on the 'might.'_

She nodded slowly, and he continued, "Wait until-..."

Abruptly, Sakura's eyes widened in horror and she grabbed his shirt and yanked him towards her, both of them stumbling backwards but managing to stay standing. Sasuke batted Sakura's hand away as soon as he'd regained his footing and whirled around in time to see Hebi slowly dragging himself out of the tree trunk they'd been standing right next to only a moment ago.

_**Well, that certainly explains why we couldn't** _ _ **see** _ _**him.** _

Before his fear could swallow him whole again, he threw several more kunai and pulled out another one, following the flying knives. Hebi dodged all of them easily, but Sasuke had expected him to. He went in low, aiming a slash at the man's stomach, and moment's later they were locked in taijutsu. With his Sharingan activated, it was easy to predict the man's movements, and even easier to plan to how he would respond.

It wasn't really enough, though. He did a brief headcount while spinning in the air, noting with relief that Sakura had taken off. He wouldn't worry about her anymore. He couldn't afford to. The only person he needed to worry about right at that moment was himself. He wasn't landing damaging blows - everything he threw at Hebi was dodged and parried. His kunai wasn't making contact.

_In that case..._

He leaped back as far as he could, knowing that this particular jutsu had a pretty large area of affect. Hebi just smirked at him, walking forward even as Sasuke's hands moved through several hand seals faster than he'd ever done them before. Heat built up in his chest and filled his mouth, and when he parted his lips and let out a blast of fire.

_Katon: Gokakyuu no jutsu!_

The huge ball of fire enveloped Hebi, obscuring him completely as the fire burned into the wood. Sasuke cut the jutsu by closing his mouth and allowing the excess chakra that had filled his lungs to seep back into the circulatory system that carried it. He breathed heavily, eyes wide and searching. He wouldn't believe that that had killed him until he could see a corpse.

When the fire died down, leaving only scorched wood behind, his heart stuttered in his chest. He'd lost that man again. He took a step backwards, clenching his fists. He didn't have anymore kunai or shuriken. If he wanted more, he'd have to summon them with one of his scrolls, but he didn't think he'd be given an opportunity to do so. He was sure that the minute he pulled out one of those scrolls, he'd be attacked from every direction.

There was grayness around the borders of his vision and it was starting to interfere with his ability to see. He blinked rapidly, swallowing hard. This was a terrible time to be blinded by an unknown cause. The air had gone still and silent again. He didn't want to breathe because he was afraid of what noises he might miss.

"You're really nothing compared to Itachi," Hebi's voice echoed out of nowhere again and Sasuke stiffened. This person... knew Itachi? He gritted his teeth, anger finding its way around his terror.

_**He knows Itachi. Do you think he knows where Itachi is?** _

_I'll find out._

Sasuke felt a presence appear seemingly out of thin air behind him and whirled around much faster than he'd been able to earlier. Rage fueled his movement, erasing the pain in his leg and seemingly giving him a boost in every way. He swung out with his fist, evidently catching Hebi off guard, as he looked fairly surprised when Sasuke had fully turned around to face him.

For a moment, it seemed like he'd managed to surprise the man enough to gain the upper hand. Hebi swung out at him, and he leaped into the air, using the man's arm as a stepping stone to gain more height. His hands moved through seals much faster than he'd ever been able to before, and the jutsu he wanted came through before he had even invoked its name.

_Katon: Ryuuka no jutsu!_

A stream of fire hotter than any regular flame burst out of his throat, gaining a temperature higher than Sasuke had thought was possible. The spray of flames covered a great area than the Gokakyuu had, and it burned through the branches of the trees, through trees themselves, likely making it to the ground hundreds of kilometers below. He cut off the jutsu, clamping his mouth shut. His feet hit solid ground - another tree - and he used his chakra to stick to it before he could fall. From high above, he surveyed the ground, searching for a body. That had to have done _something_.

His eyes widened, horror stealing his breath away when he saw the man standing up. How? _!_ How was that possible? _!_ He ought to be burned alive. At that moment, all Sasuke could imagine was that he must be some kind of monster. That Ryuuka had been the hottest Sasuke had ever made it. How on earth could this _freak_ have survived that kind of heat?

All of a sudden, Hebi launched himself at Sasuke, who immediately let go of his grip on the tree and dropped to the branches a couple yards below. He spun around as soon as he landed, his eyes widened and his body reacted on its own, but not nearly fast enough. His back slammed into the tree branch he'd been standing on, the impact forcing all the air out of his lungs. Panic surging through him, he swung his fist at Hebi's face, only to have his dominant hand caught in an iron grip. He was pinned. He was going to die. Hebi was straddling him, his eyes filled with a sick kind of hunger.

"L-Let go of me!" He shouted, trying to find the anger that had been powering him a moment ago. Hebi reached forward and grabbed a handful of his hair, tilting his head back forcibly. Sasuke bucked and thrashed as much as he could, but he didn't have the leverage he needed to move as much as he would need to throw this guy off him.

"Don't worry," the man said, and Sasuke's stomach twisted into a knot. The look in his eyes was positively evil, and he was _terrified_. "I'm not going to kill you, Sasuke-kun. I just want to give you an... _incentive_."

 _What incentive?_! _What is he going to do?_! His mind immediately supplied him with about a dozen scenarios and _none_ of them were helping with his panic. He cried out when the pull on his hair increased, his eyes wide and his chest heaving. He didn't have any kunai or shuriken left. He couldn't push this guy off with only one available arm. Hebi was leaning over him, and Sasuke's eyes were burning and he couldn't breathe and that _freak_ was licking his lips and his head was tilted further back and it was putting a strain on his throat that was making it hard to swallow and thus harder to breathe and _oh god what is he going to do to me oh god no please please get off me get away from me help help someone help Naruto Kaisuki Sakura someone please please please help me..._

He stiffened when the man exhaled against his neck, and all at once he was shrieking at the top of his lungs, "GET OFF ME! _!_ " He couldn't quite hear what he was saying. " _LET ME GO_! _!_ "

Then, a flash of pain raced down his arm and up his neck, spinning away into the back of his head. He cried out, his one free hand gripping Hebi's shoulder as he tried to push him off. Tears streamed down the side of his face, and the gray borders around his vision were filling up everything in sight and he couldn't _see_ he was-... he ... he couldn't- there was... _can't see... I can't see I can't see I can't-_ too much was going on-... he couldn't _breathe_... _I can't_ _ **see**_ _..._ violent spasms wracking his body as pain flared through- _everything hurts_ he was dying he had to be dying that had to be what was going on he couldn't think of anything else that could possibly be happening _it hurts it hurts it hurts_ he was going to die he was going to die and Sakura and Naruto probably wouldn't even be able to find him and he was alone he was going to die alone and _no no I don't want this_ too much going on-... can't-...

_no no no no no no no no no no_

"My name is Orochimaru," the man's voice seemed to echo in his head. "I can make you stronger. Strong enough to beat Itachi _._ "

_You're_ _**killing me** _ _how could you possibly-..._

Something dark twisted inside of him, and he couldn't breathe around it. It was filling his chest, spreading through every nerve in his body and it was _cold_. It swirled around him on the inside, something blacker than ink and purely evil and _powerful_.

_**Power.** _

"GET _AWAY_ FROM HIM! _!_ **!** " He didn't know what was going on. His mind was blacking out and it felt like he was being wrapped in a chilling blanket and it was so cold and everything hurt and he couldn't breathe and he couldn't see and he- there... there wasn't... it... too much... too much going on... too much... there's too much... _too-... too much... going... on... can't-..._

Everything swirled around into an inky blackness and Sasuke's mind shut down.

.

 _"GET_ _ **AWAY**_ _FROM HIM!_! _!"_

It was all she really remembered. Her voice bursting from her throat as rage swelled up inside of her and her vision went black. Kaisuki didn't remember what had happened after she'd shrieked at that _freak_ who'd been holding Sasuke down, just pulling back from his neck. The Uchiha's eyes wide and staring and his whole body had been convulsing when she'd arrived on the scene, but the rage that had exploded from within had been directly related to the man that had been holding him down.

She didn't know who he was. She didn't know what he'd done to Sasuke. She didn't know what to do, really. Saeka hadn't spoken to her since they'd found the man pinning Sasuke down. Kaisuki had felt her blind rage in the moment, but since then Saeka hadn't spoken a word. Kaisuki had tried more than once to coax a reply out of her, but she refused to speak. It felt as though she had retreated deep into the background, hiding out somewhere dark and safe.

Sasuke and Kaisuki were underneath a shelter that had been made out of tree roots. Essentially, the earth that had once surrounded the roots had been eroded away by something - or someone - and it had left a nicely sized shelter for them to hide in. Sasuke was laying on his back, a wet cloth on his forehead to battle the fever that had come up out of nowhere. There was a bite mark on Sasuke's neck _(that sick_ _ **fuck**_ ), right next to a black, tattoo-like mark that was raised and red around the edges. She didn't know what the mark was, but it didn't look like good news.

She needed to find Sakura and Naruto, but she couldn't leave Sasuke alone. She supposed that it'd be best to just wait for a while and hope that they would find herself and Sasuke. If they didn't come in however long it took for her to lose patience, she supposed she might try to call on Saeka to guide her to them in a timely fashion. It was moments like this that made her wish she knew how to preform the kage bunshin no jutsu.

Sasuke whimpered in his sleep, twitching slightly. Izumi had been directing Kaisuki so she could appropriately tend to him, as she had no idea what she was doing. Currently, she was grinding mint into a paste that she would then spread thinly onto the mark on Sasuke's neck. It looked almost as though it were mildly infected or something, and if it was anything like a regular injury, the menthol in the mint would soothe it.

Kaisuki added a little more water to the bowl she'd been grinding with, mixing it in with what she already had. It looked like a paste to her.

" _It should be fine now. Stick your finger in it._ " Izumi told her. Kaisuki frowned, but did as she was told. Her finger tingled, and Izumi continued her directions, " _Spread it over it the wound. Don't slather it on, but put a good amount. Then I want you to cover it with a gauze pad so that it stays in place._ "

" _Alright._ " Kaisuki responded simply, doing as she was told. A moment later, the gauze pad had been placed, and already Sasuke's expression had relaxed some. He still looked fairly uncomfortable, but obviously the majority of the pain had been centralized in that one spot. She sighed with relief, plucking the cloth off the Uchiha's forehead and dipping it into her bowl of water, squeezing out the excess water and then replacing it where it had been.

" _He's still pretty pale_ ," Izumi commented. Kaisuki hummed aloud in agreement, watching Sasuke carefully for a moment.

" _Is Saeka around, do you know?_ " She asked hopefully. Izumi went silent for a moment, and Kaisuki's face fell. That usually turned out to mean "no."

" _She's around, but she's in a foul mood._ " Izumi told her, and Kaisuki blinked. " _She says she doesn't want you to stop liking her, so she's keeping her distance until she calms down._ "

She stared at Sasuke in silence for a long moment, not responding to Izumi right away. She wasn't sure what to say. Evidently, she'd been right to assume that she'd made it to Saeka's "Best Friends Forever" list simply by choosing to be kind to her. It was actually a very depressing thought.

" _Saeka,_ " Kaisuki called, knowing the girl could hear her. " _I know you're mad, and I'm sorry about that. I just want you to know that it's okay with me if you get angry, and I won't stop liking you if you snap at me when you're in a bad mood. I'm sure you've seen me do that to Naruto a hundred times..._ " She trailed off briefly, before concluding, " _I just want you to feel better, so look after yourself._ "

There was nothing but silence after she spoke, but she hadn't really been expecting a reply. She just wished the girl would come back out so she could find Naruto and Sakura. At least to make sure they were okay. She had left a trail for Naruto to follow - a trail only he would understand and see - so she hoped they'd be able to find them. But time was of the essence. Sasuke had a fever that could burn him out if it was left untreated for too long. There was only so much she could do in this forest. She didn't have enough medical supplies to help her in this situation. What she was doing now was the bare minimum.

Sasuke needed more comprehensive care than she could offer, especially since she didn't even know what was wrong. He'd been convulsing earlier, he'd spiked a relatively high fever recently, and he was paler than a ghost now. The list of unrelated symptoms he was exhibiting had left Izumi at a loss, forcing her to simply treat said symptoms as they arose.

" _Relax, Kaisuki._ " Izumi's voice came through again, " _He's not really in danger of dying yet. We're tending to his symptoms so that they don't get out of control._ "

" _Will he wake up soon, do you think?_ " Kaisuki asked hopefully. Izumi sighed in her head, and didn't reply right away. She stared at Sasuke when he started to twitch, her chest tightening. Was he going to start seizing again? He hadn't done it since she'd first found him, but she just didn't know enough about what was wrong with him

" _I don't know. I doubt it._ " Izumi finally replied. " _He might not take three days to wake up, but I wouldn't expect him to be up any sooner than a couple hours from now._ "

Kaisuki thanked her for the sincere prognosis, and Izumi fell silent again. She was just reaching for the cloth on Sasuke's forehead when the sound of a twig snapping had her whipping out a kunai and turning around, fully prepared to kill whoever came through the underbrush. Slowly, she stood up, though not all the way. She kept her knees soft and waited. If they were hostile, they wouldn't make another sound. If they didn't know she was there, they might make more noise.

She relaxed only slightly when the sound of rustling bushes reached her, growing louder and louder. Someone who didn't know she was there. That didn't necessarily mean they were a friendly party, though. It could be anyone. It could be one of her genin peers from Konoha, or it could be her team, or it could be someone who would be ready to fight her for a scroll. Though, at this moment, she'd willingly hand over one of her scrolls, if for no other reason than to guarantee Sasuke's safety.

Her eyes widened when the two people who had been walking through the bushes stumbled out, bruised and cut up and _familiar_. Kaisuki replaced her kunai into its holster, as Sakura and Naruto looked up while they brushed twigs and leaves off their clothes. Naruto's eyes widened as a wide grin appeared on his face when he saw Kaisuki. Sakura's eyes welled up with relieved tears, and Kaisuki saw her almost let out a sob.

Then, they both saw Sasuke, still laying on the ground behind her.

The color drained from both their faces, and the smile was wiped off Naruto's face like chalk from a blackboard.

"What happened?" Naruto asked immediately, his expression panicked. Sakura walked past Kaisuki, kneeling down beside Sasuke and looking him over. "How long has he been out? Sakura told me some snake guy was fighting with Sasuke, but when we got back to where they were supposed to be, he was gone. You've been here the whole time?"

Kaisuki nodded and replied, "Yea. I would've come out looking for you but I didn't want to leave him. I don't really know what happened. I came upon the scene at the tail end of Sasuke... of the fight... and I don't know what happened after that... because I..." She paused, swallowing hard and looking at the ground. "I blacked out. I came back to myself here, and I've just been tending to his symptoms as they arise. Izumi's been helping me."

Naruto nodded, looking stricken. Kaisuki turned to glance at Sakura, who had one hand covering her mouth, the other wrapped around her middle, but she wasn't making a sound. She was just staring at Sasuke with tears in her eyes, lower lip trembling. The Tsubaki looked back to Naruto, concerned.

The blond pursed his lips, his gaze turning to the ground. "I... she hasn't been... talking much. Like, at all. She hasn't said a word since she found me."

Kaisuki's eyes widened a fraction, and she looked back at Sakura again. The girl had lowered her head, her hair falling into her face and concealing her expression. Then, she looked back to Naruto, "What happened?"

"I... well, there was this really strong wind that came out of nowhere. It threw me really far away, but I gather Sakura-chan and Sasuke managed to stick together... I got jumped by some dick on my way back to find them." Naruto explained, looking very upset. "I was fighting him when Sakura-chan showed up, and so we tag-teamed the bastard. Then she told me Sasuke sent her to find me, and he needed us right at that very second, so we went running to go find him. And, like I said, he wasn't where he was supposed to be, and so we were searching the area ever since."

Kaisuki nodded silently, looking back at Sakura. " _She's in shock._ " Izumi supplied, and Kaisuki's frowned. " _Talk to her about something other than what happened. It'll help her to come out of it._ "

" _Alright._ " She replied, before stepping over to where Sasuke was lying. She got down on her knees in the grass next to Sakura, briefly checking Sasuke's forehead to see if his fever had gone up. It hadn't, so she simply wet the cloth on his forehead again before turning her attention to Sakura.

"Hey, Sakura," she said, keeping her tone even and calm. The pink-haired girl slowly dragged her gaze away from Sasuke. Her green eyes were haunted, and she looked positively exhausted. "What's your nindo?"

Sakura stared at her for a long time, looking confused. Kaisuki smiled at her and continued, "Naruto swore on his hitai-ate that he'd never stand down and he'd never go back on his word. Right Naruto?" She turned to the blond, and he blinked at her, before nodding slowly. "I swore to myself that I'd never lie, and that I'd always put my family first. Did you decide on a nindo, Sakura?"

Sakura's eyes widened a fraction, and Kaisuki watched her with a sad smile as tears slid down her cheeks. She bowed her head and wiped her eyes, "I..." She mumbled quietly. "I promised m-myself... that I'd become s-strong enough to protect the p-people I love..." She was staring at Sasuke again, her lower lip trembling. "And that I'd stop being such a coward. I... changed it... recently..." She trailed off, swallowing hard.

Kaisuki's chest ached for her friend. "Well," she said softly. "I think you're on the right track, Sakura." She said sincerely, and when Sakura looked over at her, she only smiled warmly. The pink-haired girl was working her jaw, and she reached up and wiped her eyes again, sniffling. Kaisuki glanced over at Naruto, who had been watching the exchange with a sad look in his eyes.

Kaisuki waited patiently for Sakura to get a hold of herself, wrapping an arm around her shoulders in an offer of comfort. The other girl leaned against her, exhausted, and continued to sniffle and choke on her breath for a few moments before she pulled away slowly. Sakura took a deep breath, her face buried in her hands, and straightened up. The light had returned to her eyes, and Kaisuki smiled widely at her. The pink-haired girl returned the gesture, though it was pitiful and strained.

"What are we going to do?" Sakura asked, looking past Kaisuki at Naruto. "You know Sasuke will k-kill us if we forfeit because he's..." She gestured towards the unconscious Uchiha. "And we still need to get an earth scroll."

Naruto blinked, looking surprised for a moment before he replied, "I have no idea." He answered truthfully, walking under the shelter of the roots and frowning at Sasuke.

Kaisuki looked between the two of them for a moment before she offered a suggestion. "Why don't me and Naruto go find a scroll and you can stay here and take care of Sasuke, Sakura?" She said, "Naruto could leave one of his kage bunshins here so that if something happens we'll know right away. And we'll try not to go too far away."

Sakura looked uncertain about that, but after a moment of thought she nodded. "It's really our only option, isn't it?" She asked, looking between Naruto and Kaisuki. Kaisuki nodded, and she was sure Naruto was doing the same.

"Don't worry, Sakura-chan." Naruto reassured, his hands moving through seals. With a swirl of blue chakra, a perfect clone of Naruto appeared, grinning optimistically. Kaisuki stood up, brushing off her knees. "We'll be back in a flash."

Sakura smiled a little at him, "Thanks, Naruto. Be safe, you two."

"Of course," Kaisuki promised. "You be safe, too."

The pink-haired girl nodded, and Naruto and Kaisuki exchanged a glance, nodded, and headed off. They leaped into the lower branches of the trees, climbing to higher ground before making their way further into the forest.

"We have to make this a quick trip, Naruto," Kaisuki said as they made their way through the branches. She didn't like the idea of leaving Sakura alone with Sasuke. She didn't know why, exactly, but it probably had something to do with the vibe she was feeling from Saeka. The girl still wasn't in the mood to chat, but Kaisuki could feel the uneasiness that had started to come through almost as soon as they'd decided to leave Sakura and Sasuke alone.

"I know," he replied. "I don't like it, either, Kaisuki. So, yea, let's do this as fast as we can.


	9. the preliminary matches

_"My name is Orochimaru."_

_He stared down at the body slumped up against a concrete wall before him, bloody and battered. Long black hair that spilled over his shoulders also obstructed his face, but Sasuke didn't need to see his face to know who he was._

_"I can make you stronger."_

_He knelt down in front of his older brother, Itachi, and surveyed the damage that he had wrought upon him during their battle. His only real regret was that he hadn't kept the man alive long enough to make him feel the pain Sasuke had been enduring since he was eight._

_"Strong enough to beat Itachi."_

_Something twisted in his chest. He turned, placing a hand on the ground to support him as he sat down properly, before positioning himself comfortably in Itachi's lap. Sasuke leaned against him, resting his head against his brother's shoulder, and grabbing Itachi's wrists so he could fold his arms over his chest, and held them there._

_It was how they used to sit and watch the fireworks during the festivals._

_"Sasuke..." He stiffened when Itachi's arms moved, his heart suddenly hammering in his throat. Itachi's head leaned back and dead eyes gazed up at the cloudy sky above them. There was nothing there to look at. "Aren't the fireworks nice this year?"_

_When had things started to fall apart?_

_Why couldn't-...?_

_I just-..._

_-... him..._

_What did...?_

_**No, don't think about this. You'll regret it.** _

He lashed out before he knew who he was lashing out at. A cry of pain from an unfamiliar voice was enough to tell him that there were uninvited guests around. He opened his eyes and sat up, surveying the scene. There was only one unfamiliar face that was still standing. His eyes were wide, and Sasuke could see how white his knuckles were around the hilt of a kunai.

Sasuke stood at that point, eying the two that had evidently attempted to kill him in his sleep. The other guy on the team had had his gut slashed wide open, and his internal organs were highly visible around the blood still gushing from the wound. The third teammate, a girl, was still oozing blood from a deep wound to her throat. It looked like it had gone halfway through her neck.

There was blood splattered across his hands and shirt, smeared all over the kunai he was spinning in his hand. He looked back up at the only living remainder of the team. He was holding a kunai to Sakura's throat. Tears were streaming down her face, her eyes were huge in an unmistakable expression of fear.

"D-Don't move!" The guy suddenly commanded in the least authoritative voice Sasuke had ever heard. "I'll kill this girl!"

The guy pressed the blade of the kunai against Sakura's throat, drawing a slight amount of blood that was obviously supposed to be intended as a threat. Sasuke's eyes narrowed, his expression shifting into an evidently frightening glare. The guy flinched back, pulling Sakura with him and tightening his grip on his kunai. His hand was shaking.

"You're pathetic," Sasuke stated with nothing less than contempt. "You kill her, and I'll rip your arms off. If you don't kill her, I'll still rip your arms off. You forfeited your life the moment you laid a hand on my teammate."

The guy's eyes were wide, and Sasuke could see him panicking. He only wished he'd been able to see the guy's face when he moved suddenly, likely disappearing from sight altogether. As Sasuke came up behind him and before he had noticed, the guy let go of Sakura, shoving her out of his way so he could run for it. Sasuke grabbed his wrists as he was turning to run, kicking his knees out from underneath him, all the while tilting his arms further and further back.

He planted a foot on the guy's back, between his shoulder blades. There was a sound that seemed extremely far away, sort of like someone yelling, but he ignored it. He kept his leg mostly straight and started to pull, blocking out the guy's desperate, highly annoying cries. He leaned back as far as he could, pulling harder and harder.

There was a crunch followed by an ear-splitting scream as the guy's shoulders dislocated. Sasuke didn't even think of letting up. He only increased his grip and pulled harder. It was just beginning to look as though the guy's arms were going to come off, when a piercing shriek cut through the air, startling him.

"STOP IT! _!_ "

He let up slightly, turning towards the source of the noise. Sakura was staring at him, her face white and her eyes leaking tears. He stared at her, confused by her expression. He was protecting her. Why was she looking at him like that?

_**She's so annoying.** _

Sasuke's fingers were partially numb, so he barely felt it when he released his grip and let the guy fall forward. He then turned towards Sakura, for a moment wondering what the best way to kill her would be. His hands clenched into fists as he watched her.

Then, out of the bushes came Naruto and Kaisuki, coming to a abrupt halt a couple feet from Sakura. He stared at the three of them. If he killed Sakura, he would have to kill Naruto and Kaisuki as well. That could prove troublesome.

"Sasuke, are you okay?" He could see her lips moving but he couldn't really understand what Kaisuki was saying. His heart felt like it was beating remarkably hard. His vision refocused several times before he closed his eyes, reaching up with one hand and pressing his thumb and index fingers against his eyelids.

 _Kill who?_ He wondered, lowering his hands and blinking. He felt off, in much the same way he had when he'd killed that chuunin from Kirigakure. His limbs felt far away, his head was buzzing, and his mouth was dry. He swallowed to wet his throat, lifting his gaze from where it had settled on the ground.

Kaisuki was looking at him with real concern in her eyes, while Naruto was trying to talk to a very upset Sakura. What was their problem? He'd been protecting Sakura. Couldn't they see that he was fine, and so was she, _thanks to him_?

When he spoke, his voice sounded muffled at first, before gaining clarity. "I'm fine." He replied, staring at them blankly. Kaisuki frowned at him, and he frowned back at her. "Really, I'm fine."

She didn't at all look like she believed him. He decided he didn't care, and diverted his gaze to his hands as he lifted them up. They were splattered with blood again. It still felt like his heart was beating too hard, and he was having some difficulty inhaling. Or at least, it felt like he was having trouble with it. He couldn't really tell if he was breathing at all.

He wiped his hands on his shirt, looking to where the guy he'd been dealing with had been, but he was gone. Sasuke wondered faintly how that had happened. He wanted to hunt him down and butcher him alive, but he figured the rest of the team might not be up for that. They looked a little shaken, for reasons unknown.

He walked over to them, and then walked right past them, stopping beside the body of the girl whose throat he had slashed. He crouched down beside her, pulling her kunai pouch off her belt and rifling through it. She hadn't been carrying the scroll. He dropped the pouch unceremoniously next to her and stepped over to the other corpse.

He grabbed the kunai pouch and opened it. As he'd been hoping, the scroll was sitting right on top of everything else, and it was a heaven scroll - the one they needed. They’d gotten the scroll on the first day. This portion of the exams was either a lot easier than he'd been expecting, or they were just incredibly lucky that the weakest possible foes had decided to show up and offer themselves up as sacrifices.

He turned back to the team. Naruto was rubbing Sakura's back now, and she was still shaking, but it seemed she had stopped crying. Kaisuki was watching him with a scowl on her face. He wondered what he'd done to deserve that.

"They had a heaven scroll." He stated, attracting Naruto's attention. "We just need to get to the tower now."

The blond had started glowering at him as though he'd done some horrible wrong. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and asked, "What the hell is _your_ problem?"

Naruto's eyes widened a fraction, before a look of fury appeared on his face. It didn't suit him at all. "What the hell is wrong with you! _?_ " He snarled, "Was _any_ of that necessary?"

Sasuke stared at him for a long, long moment. Then, he looked over at Kaisuki. Finally, his gaze settled on Sakura. His eyes narrowed, "This is the Chuunin Exams." He said coldly, "It's kill or be killed. I would've thought you'd have gotten that through your thick skull when I nearly got _killed_ by that Orochimaru guy."

Kaisuki flinched, reaching up a hand to rub at her temple. Naruto was staring at him, dumbfounded. Finally, he said incredulously, "There's a difference between killing someone and _torturing_ them, you damn psycho!"

He blinked. Torture? He had only been...

_Ripping someone's arms off._

It felt as though his heart was in a vice grip. He didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything at all. Naruto's expression was shifting into one of bewilderment, or perhaps concern. Maybe both. Sasuke lowered his gaze back to the ground, shaken. He really had no self-control when it came to battle, and when it regarded his opponents and enemies.

His arms and legs had returned to him, and the buzz in his head had been replaced by a low grade headache. His blood pressure seemed to have settled down, as well. It vividly reminded him of his encounter with the chuunin from Kirigakure. That time hadn't even been the work of whatever Orochimaru had done to him. His moments of brutality were something he alone was responsible for. He swallowed.

He needed to learn to control that.

"We should probably go," Kaisuki spoke up as Sasuke was shoving his hands into his pockets. "Sasuke, are you alright for travel?"

He looked at her again. "I'm fine," he said for the third time. He didn't understand why they worried about him so much. It wasn't even so much that he was an able person and could handle himself in battle. He didn't belong with them. He probably didn't belong anywhere. Being displaced like he'd been had sort of set him up for continued displacement.

_The one you should be asking about is Sakura, not me._

_**Did she forget that we're not friends again?** _

His stomach twisted into a knot, and Kaisuki started talking again, this time to Naruto, about where they should go next, and what they should do. Sasuke could barely hear them. He clenched his fists and stared at the ground. He wondered if Naruto and Kaisuki also had the same problem. He wondered if they were always reminding themselves that they were alone, or if they had really found family in each other like they often said.

He wished he could say that he had done the same, but he really was alone. There wasn't much of anyone suited to be that close to him. Kakashi-sensei came sort of close, but that man pushed people away so firmly, Sasuke had known it was hopeless before he'd even bothered to try. There wasn't much of anything left for him, except killing Itachi. It was all he could really look forward to. It was his only ambition. He had no idea what he'd do afterward, or who he'd go home to.

 _With any luck_ , he thought blackly. _I'll just die._

...

"Welcome to the preliminary matches of the Chuunin Exams," the Hokage said with a smile at the few of them that remained. Kaisuki had been expecting more people to make it. The redhead and his team had made it through, three teams from Tanigakure, Kusagakure, and Otogakure respectively, Teams 10 and 8 from Kaisuki's grade, and Team Gai from the year ahead of her and her peers. That was only twenty-four people altogether, out of the hundred or so that had they had started with.

"My name is Gekko Hayate. This part of the exam is the last part you'll have to do today. The final matches will be in a month." A man who had been standing behind the Hokage came forward and started speaking, his voice raspy. "At this point in the exams, anyone who wants to quit can without forfeiting their entire team. Before we begin the matches, does anyone want to opt out?"

There was a pause, but no one spoke up. The man coughed into his hand before nodding in approval. "We have an automated system for choosing who will fight who, so while that's running, all of you should report to your instructors, up there." He gestured towards the balcony that came out of the walls around the decently sized fighting arena.

Kaisuki glanced up at the balcony, spotting Kakashi-sensei immediately. He waved at his team, and they followed the other teams through a door, up a set of stairs, and then out another door onto the balcony area. As Team 7 walked around the gated corner and strode up to Kakashi-sensei, Kaisuki saw the redhead heading to the other side of the room, where she could see the only jounin from Sunagakure.

"I see you made it through alive," Kakashi-sensei commented as they stopped beside him.

Naruto grinned at him, "Ha! Of course we did. We only almost died... once each for me, Sakura, and Sasuke. Kaisuki managed to avoid any form of danger."

"Well, yea," Kaisuki said, shrugging. "I had Saeka. She was kind of freaking out when that fucking psycho was trying to kill you guys. She hasn't actually spoken to me since, though..."

"Kakashi-sensei, you could've told us that there were going to be god damn _jounin-level_ people entering these freakin' exams." Naruto complained loudly. A couple of people glanced their way, and Kaisuki couldn't help but note that none of them seemed to be sharing the same sentiments as Naruto. "Seriously, we almost died. Sasuke _really_ almost died."

Kakashi-sensei raised his eyebrows at them. "I would've thought you'd have guessed that it could get that dangerous. Genin doesn't explicitly mean twelve year-olds."

Sakura glared at him, "Wow, you couldn't have let us get a little more prepared for that?"

"Well, obviously I didn't have to." Kakashi-sensei replied, smiling through his mask. Kaisuki opened her mouth to retort, when Gekko-san cleared his throat noisily. She looked over at him, as did everyone else.

"The first match is going to be Uchiha Sasuke from Konohagakure against Kurokawa Toru from Tanigakure." He stated dully. Kaisuki moved out of Sasuke's way so he could walk past her. He didn't say a word to any of them on his way to the stairwell. She couldn't help but feel a bit worried about him. He'd been extremely unwell less than a day ago. He'd been feeling better since he'd woken up (or so he said, though Izumi seemed to agree with his self-assessment), but Kaisuki had a bad feeling.

The two genin arrived in the center of the fighting arena, standing on either side of Gekko-san. Toru was older than Sasuke by probably two or three years, and while he didn't look particularly threatening, there was something about the absolute confidence in his gaze that Kaisuki didn't like.

"Begin." Gekko-san said, disappearing from sight momentarily before reappearing on the balcony beside the Hokage, on the short side of the rectangular fighting arena.

Not even a second after Gekko-san was out of the line of fire, Sasuke hurled a few kunai at his opponent, leaping backwards as he did so. Toru twisted around the kunai and raced directly at Sasuke. He had to be primarily a taijutsu user, then. If his focus was ranged, he would've throw himself backwards instead of running right at his opponent.

Sasuke's Sharingan lit up his normally dark eyes, and he assumed a stance just a few seconds before Toru had reached him. Kaisuki observed carefully as Sasuke blocked and parried each of Toru's attacks with ease, though she could tell by the look in his eyes that his seemingly superior skill wasn't about to put him off guard. And it was for good reason, because a couple of minutes into their battle, after Toru was beginning to look as though he were being pushed back, he abruptly increased the speed at which he was attacking. If Sasuke hadn't had his Sharingan, he probably would've been overpowered rather quickly.

Sasuke deflected a fist aimed for his face, and Kaisuki saw his eyes widen suddenly. She could see by the look on his face that he was cursing in his head, but she didn't know why. Toru had to have some kind of ability that could only be used during close combat. Sasuke had stopped deflecting his opponent's attacks and was instead only dodging. He wasn't even attempting to retaliate with any attacks of his own.

" _It's probably something that requires physical contact to work,_ " Izumi spoke up suddenly, and Kaisuki internally hummed in agreement. She had no idea what Sasuke had felt to make him react the way that he had. Toru was picking up the pace again, and Kaisuki could see that her teammate was falling behind, even though she knew he was capable of moving much faster than that.

" _Does he look like he feels alright to you, Izumi?_ " Kaisuki asked worriedly, tuning out what she was watching. Sasuke's movements were becoming much less fluid. Izumi didn't reply right away, but Kaisuki could figure that the woman was observing alongside her.

After a few moments of silence, the irou-nin spoke. " _He's deteriorating_. _His cheeks are a little flushed but his overall complexion has gotten rather ashen_." She explained, sounding a bit more concerned than Kaisuki had been. Now that she could hear the worry in the woman's voice, she felt a lot more worried. " _He's running a fever and he's in pain. I have a feeling that mark on his neck has something to do with it._ "

Kaisuki swallowed. " _Should I tell Kakashi-sensei?_ "

" _You should tell him._ " Izumi replied promptly. She blinked herself back into the present. She came back just in time to see Toru grab Sasuke's wrist in an iron grip and wrench him forward. The Uchiha nearly lost his balance, and she heard Izumi mutter something about his eyes not dilating properly. She didn't quite know what that meant, so she simply ignored it, keeping her attention on the fight.

Sasuke, who had barely managed to catch himself just a moment before falling, suddenly dropped to one knee as he was trying to pry his opponent's hand off his arm. Toru's hand shot out and grabbed Sasuke by his bangs, yanking his head forward and a little to the side. By doing so, he offset Sasuke's balance on his knees, putting him at an angle that would take away any form of leverage the Uchiha could've gotten.

Then, Kaisuki felt it. She heard Naruto let out a gasp beside her, and her heart dropped into her stomach. Sasuke's vast amount of chakra was being drained at a frightening rate. Within about ten seconds, more than three-fourths of it was gone, and her teammate’s grips on Toru's wrists slackened. She could see his eyes rolling back into his head, and just a moment before he likely would've _died_ , the genin from Tanigakure let him go. He hit the ground without even trying to stop himself, and that was enough to tell Kaisuki that he was unconscious.

The man planted his hands on his hips, threw back his head, and laughed. "Ha! That was _so_ easy!"

He turned away from the Uchiha, turning his gaze on Gekko-san. "That's it, right? I win?"

There was a pause as Gekko-san evidently assessed whether or not it was possible for Sasuke to suddenly get back up, but the Uchiha didn't move. Kaisuki didn't look at Gekko-san or Toru, instead simply staring at Sasuke. Something was off. She wasn't sure what it was, but something was off.

" _Kaisuki,_ " Saeka suddenly spoke up from nowhere, sounding extremely agitated. Kaisuki stiffened, her mouth going dry. Saeka sound _really_ angry, for some reason. " _Something's really wrong with him. You need to tell Hatake-san._ "

" _I will..._ " She replied nervously.

"Then," Gekko-san said, lifting a hand to make the call. "The winner-..."

There was a sound like meat being cut that filled the quietness of the arena, Gekko-san halting mid-sentence, eyes wide in shock. Kaisuki's eyes widened, and she felt Sakura shift backwards beside her. Naruto had uttered a shocked gasp, and she knew Kakashi-sensei had to look just as amazed as pretty much everyone else.

Sasuke was upright, his left arm splattered with blood, a dripping kunai in his hand. Then, she caught sight of Toru, who had gone to one knee, clutching his shoulder as it gushed blood. It looked like it was probably only attached by a few strips of flesh. The genin from Tanigakure let out a strangled cry, hunching forward, unable to move.

Sasuke turned back to face him fully. He looked eerily calm, even as a pattern of markings twisted out of the original mark on his shoulder. They extended up to his jawline, out from under his left sleeve, and she could see how they spun around his neck. Kakashi-sensei shifted suddenly, and when Kaisuki glanced up at him, she saw the shock in his one visible eye.

There was a visible, dark blue aura surrounding Sasuke, strips of it showing purely black. Where had all that chakra come from? She watched as he reached up with his right hand and jammed his fingers into the tattoo-like mark on his neck, tilting his head to the side as he did so.

"I missed." He sounded different, though Kaisuki couldn't have picked out how or why. She could sense that Sakura, Naruto, and Kakashi-sensei had noticed the same thing, though.

Toru looked up at Sasuke, his eyes angry and streaming tears of pain. "You son of a bitch, I left you _dry_!" He ground out, his voice strained.

The Uchiha's expression didn't shift in the slightest, and he didn't reply at all. Kaisuki was also confused - she wasn't a sensory type, but _everyone_ had to have felt Sasuke's chakra levels plummet dangerously low. There was no way he should've been able to stand after that. He'd been left in the vicinity of severe chakra exhaustion, and ought to have needed half a week of rest to recover.

He lifted his kunai, and Toru's eyes widened, fear crossing his expression. He opened his mouth, and Kaisuki could tell by the way his gray eyes darted over to Gekko-san that he had been planning a last-minute forfeit. But Sasuke blinked out of sight, reappearing a few feet behind Toru. Blood sprayed out of a gash across his throat, from where Sasuke had slashed it open cleanly. The wound was deep, nearly halfway through Toru's neck. He fell to the side, grabbing at his neck for a moment before stilling completely, eyes wide and staring.

Sasuke reached up again, digging his fingers into the same spot on his neck, even as the markings that had spread across his shoulder started to recede again. What was that mark? What had it done to her teammate? The Uchiha wiped his kunai off on his shirt, before re-holstering it and rubbing the blood off his hands, as well. He turned and glanced up at Gekko-san expectantly, his expression continuing to be utterly still.

There was a pause, the pale man still staring at Sasuke as if he had grown another head. After a few seconds, though, he lifted a hand and made the call. "The winner is... Uchiha Sasuke."

Sasuke stalked off the arena, heading back the way he had come. Kaisuki turned to the door he would come out of, watching for a moment before it opened and he stepped through it. He was still rubbing the blood off his hands, though his movements seemed more frenetic and harsh. He came up to stand beside Naruto, leaning his back against the wall and sinking to the ground.

Kaisuki stepped around Naruto, crouching down in front of the Uchiha, "Are you okay?"

He stared at her for a long moment, before nodding slowly. "I'm tired." And he looked it. Kaisuki nodded, standing up as Sasuke leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. She turned to Naruto, who gave her a questioning look. Then, she saw Kakashi-sensei and Sakura also looking at her. All three of them looked pretty concerned, but she didn't think Sasuke was in a life-threatening condition, so she offered them a silent thumbs up. She walked back around Naruto to stand between him and Sakura, where she'd been before.

She looked over at Kakashi-sensei, and saw that he had turned his gaze towards Sasuke. She looked over as well, seeing that the Uchiha's eyes had closed and he'd become very, very still.

" _He's asleep_ ," Izumi reassured her even as a panic rushed through her. " _That's a good thing. Leave him alone for now._ "

" _Alright._ " She agreed, taking a deep breath. She turned her attention back out to the arena as Gekko-san appeared in the center of the ring again, clearing his throat loudly.

"The next match will be..."

" _Hey,_ " a disembodied voice that she'd never heard before suddenly spoke up in her ear. She could faintly hear that Ino had walked over to ask how Sasuke was, someone excitedly heading to the arena, people chatting about who they thought would win whatever match they were on. Kaisuki's body felt out of place, and she was extremely tired all of a sudden. She tried to blink the sleepiness out of her eyes, but it wouldn't go away.

" _Who..._?" She asked slowly, her mind steadily coming to a halt.

" _It doesn't matter,_ " the voice replied. The world was slowly starting to dim, and she wasn't sure if that was what she was seeing or if that was simply her eyes closing. " _I'm sorry about this, but I need you to sleep for a while._ "

" _Why...?_ " But even as she said that, darkness swallowed her, and the faint sound of someone singing a song she didn't recognize reached her.

...

Kaisuki stepped out onto the arena two and a half hours after the end of the first round of the preliminary matches. Hyuuga Neji was to be her opponent, and this was to be the last match. Neji was from Team Gai, and Kakashi happened to know exactly how ridiculous his self-proclaimed rival was when it came to training his subordinates. Neji had likely been put through vigorous training, and he was already a genius rivaled by few. He was probably out of Kaisuki's league, but the Chuunin Exams weren't necessarily fair.

Sasuke had been escorted to the infirmary by Kakashi and Sakura during the second match (a kid from Kusagakure against Hyuuga Hinata of Team 8). The Uchiha had been looking steadily worse and worse throughout the thirty minute period that he'd been napping against the wall. When Kaisuki told him that the kid was running a fever - evidently noted by Izumi - he decided that Sasuke needed to get into a real bed and get some real sleep.

"Do you think everything will be alright?" Gai suddenly asked him, sounding very serious. Kakashi turned to glance at him, noting the real worry in his gaze. Rock Lee had already been grievously injured, potentially irreversibly, and Tenten had been beaten badly as well. Gai was probably worrying a _lot_ about Neji, considering who he was up against, but Kakashi wasn't worried. Kaisuki had gotten real control over Saeka, and Izumi wasn't a threat. He was far from worried.

"It'll be fine." He reassured the other man.

The Tsubaki stepped into her spot on one side of Hayate, Neji taking the other side. Kaisuki's expression was as still as usual. Neji didn't look much different. The two of them stared at one another, each sizing up the other, as Hayate took two measured steps back, lifting a hand. "Then, let the final match begin."

Even before Hayate had left the arena, Kaisuki ducked down low and launched herself at Neji, rearing back a fist and aiming for his face. It was a foolish move, and he could've sworn he had taught them that rushing into battle like that was always a bad idea. Predictably, Neji deflected the blow to the side. Kaisuki used her momentum to spin around, bringing her elbow up and swinging it at him.

They continued to fight like that, Kaisuki never once letting up, even as Neji began to return her attacks with his own. He was aiming for her tenketsu, as Hyuuga usually did, and Kaisuki was taking most of the blows with surprising ease. Most people would've been writhing in pain by that point, but Kaisuki was...

"That's not Kaisuki." Naruto suddenly said from beside him, and Kakashi turned to look at him. The blond's eyes were wide. "That's not how she fights. And there's no way she could take that many hits from jyuuken."

Kakashi stared at him for a moment before turning his gaze back to the battlefield. Naruto was right. Kaisuki movements were usually fluid and done with ease, but now they seemed harsh and much more violent. She moved with precision, despite the blows she was taking, and it looked like her swings were heavier than usual. She also wasn't using a kunai, which was her normal go-to when engaged in hand-to-hand combat. It wasn't Saeka. Saeka didn't move like that. Izumi was an irou-nin, and he couldn't imagine why she'd have a reason to fight Neji for Kaisuki.

All of it came down to one thing: Kakashi didn't know who had possessed Kaisuki. He didn't know what their motives were, he didn't know if they were planning to kill anyone. He didn't know how strong this person was, or if it would even be possible to take them down in case of an emergency. They hadn't been able to subdue and contain Saeka, so there was really no doubt in his mind that _maybe_ this person would be the same.

"Kakashi," Gai said, sounding anxious. "Who is that, if it's not Kaisuki?"

Kakashi looked at him. He hoped his anxiety wasn't written all over his face. Asuma and Kurenai had walked over, evidently noticing the distress coming from a few feet away from them. Kakashi wasn't entirely sure how he was going to break the news to them.

Having no idea what else he could say, he simply spoke the truth.. "I have no idea," He said, turning his gaze back to the fight. Kaisuki was still swinging at Neji, but she hadn't landed a hit yet. "It's not Saeka, and it's not Izumi."

"We should stop the match." Kurenai immediately supplied, having cottoned on to what was going on. "We can't leave this be, Kakashi."

"We'll intervene if things get dangerous," Kakashi stated, watching Kaisuki carefully. She wasn't moving as fast as she usually did, but her movements were still on par with Neji's. Her eyes didn't hold killing intent, but were instead icy and calculating. "And only at that point."

"But-..." Kurenai pressed, and Kakashi held up a hand to silence her. He turned to look at the three jounin, his eyes dead serious.

"I'm acting on the assumption that we won't be able to take her down even if we want to." He deadpanned. He was still quite anxious, but he knew what needed to happen, and what needed to _not_ happen. "Because that's how it was with Saeka. We shouldn't make enemies unless we have to."

Gai stared at him in surprise, before his expression turned serious again. The black-haired man nodded stiffly, returning his attention to the match, and Kakashi did the same. There were bruises popping up on Kaisuki's arms from the way she was blocking Neji's attacks. The Hyuuga himself had a looked of mild frustration on his face. It was understandable - Kaisuki shouldn't have been able to stand by that point.

She deflected one of his attacks by slamming her palm into his wrist to throw his attack off course. But then, her fingers curled around Neji's wrist and her other fist came up out of nowhere, connecting solidly with his forearm. There was a sickening crunch as the Hyuuga's arm broke, and only seconds after that, Kaisuki had sent the boy flying in the wall with a well-placed fist into his gut.

He threw out an arm when Gai went to go step between Kaisuki and Neji, and for a moment he wasn't sure why. Then, he listened to the silence in the room, his gut turning. Something was off. He didn't know what it was yet, but something was wrong. He reached up with his free hand and pushed his hitai-ate up, uncovering his Sharingan. He was going to need to pay close attention from that point on.

Neji slowly started to pick himself up off the ground, one hand pressed against the wall for support. He lifted his head, glaring at Kaisuki, though the pain in his eyes was clear. His broken arm hung in front of him, very nearly a compound fracture. It looked very bad. He would need surgery to fix it, that was for sure.

"You're..." Kaisuki spoke, her expression shifting into a scowl. Her eyes abruptly flashed from red to blue - definitely an unfamiliar party. "Not Hyuuga Neji, are you?"

Kakashi stiffened, glancing at Gai. The man was watching the scene unfold intently, his expression confused. He could understand that feeling, because he, too, had no idea what was going on. Not Neji? Who else could it be? No other clans could use Jyuuken, and the Byakugan couldn't be used through a henge.

The Hyuuga in question was staring at Kaisuki as though she had gone insane, his eyes wide, and his face white as a sheet. "W-what are you..." he ground out through clenched teeth. "T-talking about?"

Kaisuki's scowl intensified, and the look she gave Neji was murderous. She lifted her hands up and started moving them through several hand seals, in a pattern Kakashi didn't recognize. Her hands stopped on the final seal - ram.

"Humans scream," she drawled, "when they break bones. Zenshin kirikae no jutsu."

A white aura surrounded her, so thick they couldn't see through it. It was blindingly bright, and Kakashi had to shield his eyes from the light. He had no idea what that jutsu had been. Full body transfer? He'd never heard of that before.

The white light slowly subsided, aura getting thinner and thinner until it was gone. Kakashi eyes widened at the sight before him. Kaisuki was _gone_. Precisely where she had been standing, a woman with ridiculously long, blond hair now stood. She didn't look particularly strong, but neither had Saeka.

Then, he recalled what she had said.

_"Humans scream when they break bones."_

Kakashi's eyes widened. He looked over at Gai, who met his gaze at the same time. This woman was right. Humans _did_ scream when they broke bones. Members of the ANBU's Black Ops were capable of preventing themselves from making any sound at all when they were grievously injured, but there was no way a genin would be able to do the same.

He stared at Neji, mouth dry. So, who was that, then? How were _they_ preventing themselves from screaming? And where was the real Neji? He watched as the kid's eyes widened a fraction, before he lowered his head, seemingly in thought.

After a brief moment though, he laughed. He lifted his head, staring at the woman who had taken Kaisuki's place, a wild grin on his face. Kakashi's stomach dropped like a stone. Seeing an expression like _that_ on Neji's face was truly disturbing. Gai let out a shocked breath beside him, and Kakashi could practically hear his heartbeat. He had to also be wondering where the real Neji was.

"You blew my cover, ya' bitch," Not-Neji retorted with a strange accent, one that Kakashi had never heard before. He grabbed the wrist of his broken arm and yanked it _hard_. The resulting _awful_ sound of bone grinding against bone cut through the room as the fracture was set, and Kurenai made a disgusted sound. "You're right, I ain't Neji. Big fuckin' deal. What're _you_ going to do about it?"

"Obviously," the blond stated, expression darkening. "I'm gonna kill you."

Not-Neji threw his head back and laughed. "Kill me? Ha! What about the real Neji? This is _his_ body, ya' know!" He said, tilting his head to the side and grinning widely.

"You talk like you think I fucking care," the woman replied, her voice low and dangerous. Kakashi wasn't entirely sure what to do. On the one hand, that _wasn't_ Neji, and that blond woman seemed to know a lot more about it than he did. On the other hand, Not-Neji had just stated that his body was actually the real Neji's body, and the blond evidently didn't care about collateral damage. He cursed internally - there weren't a whole lot of ways that this could go down that wouldn't end horribly for someone.

"Kakashi..." Kurenai said, and he glanced over at the three of them. They were all staring at him. Of course they were waiting for him to make the call. Two out of three (he was assuming on the blond) of Kaisuki's spirits were and could be considered highly dangerous, and he still didn't know how strong this new one was.

She was strong enough to break an arm with a single punch, evidently, but that didn't tell him a whole lot. A lot of people could do that, after all, and it didn't always indicate strength or skill. She also moved with precision that suggested that she had either trained extensively, or she had spent a lot of time gaining experience. She was probably at _least_ tokubetsu jounin-level, but she probably had at least a hundred years' worth of experience more than the four jounin instructor combined. They almost definitely didn't stand a chance.

Not-Neji smirked widely. "Cool," he said, attracting Kakashi's attention. He watched as the imposter lifted a hand that was bathed in jet black chakra. It made Kakashi's skin crawl just to see it and feel it in the air. "This should be fun, then."

He thrust his palm forward, letting out a blast of that black chakra. The woman dove out of the way, rolling back onto her feet and running full throttle at the imposter. Not-Neji sent several more of those blasts of chakra at her, but she spun and dodged around them easily, until she was close enough to rear back a fist and swing at him.

The imposter caught her fist with the arm she had previously broken, and with his Sharingan, Kakashi was able to see how much she slowed down her attack before it landed, even as her fist connected with Not-Neji's palm. He could see her eyes widen a fraction, a brief instant of horror crossing her features.

There was a series of cracks and pops that filled the air, Not-Neji's eyes widening in a look of both horror and shock, as his arm gave out; elbow hyper-extending, shoulder dislocating, the previously existing fracture splitting apart again, this time piercing through skin, and - if the rest of the damage was any indication - Kakashi could imagine that his wrist was probably broken as well, at the least.

The blond, despite the horrified look that had momentarily appeared on her face, didn't let up. Considering the amount of damage she was doing to the person that _could_ be Neji, Kakashi was seriously thinking about stepping in. He clenched his fists, cursing his predicament, before looking up at the Hokage.

Sarutobi glanced his way, and their eyes met for a long moment. Then, he slowly nodded, before turning his gaze back to the fight. Hayate was watching the battle, though his eyes frequently flickered up to see what the jounin instructors were doing. Kakashi looked back to Gai, Kurenai, and Asuma, and opened his mouth to speak when an almost unfamiliar voice spoke up from directly behind him.

"She won't kill him." The voice said, just loudly enough for him, and possibly Gai, to hear.

Kakashi whirled around, alarmed, when he realized that it was _Naruto_ who was speaking. He stared at the kid for a moment, his mind reeling. Naruto knew her? How? Since when? Why hadn't he spoken up before that moment? His eyes flicked up to see Sakura, but she hadn't heard the blond speak.

"How do you know that?" Kakashi asked evenly, keeping his voice lowered so Sakura, who was standing a few feet away, didn't hear them. Naruto didn't respond right away, his gaze locked on the battle.

After a moment, Naruto turned to look up at him, and Kakashi's eyes widened a fraction. The kid's eyes were _red_ , and he was wearing a smirk that didn't suit his features at all. He put a forearms on the rails of the short fence and leaned on it, looking positively evil.

"Me and Khrai go _way_ back." He replied knowingly, before turning back to the fight. "She won't kill him, but she'll rip you to pieces if you step between her and that Hyuuga boy."

"What will she do, then?" Gai asked from beside him, looking wary and distrusting.

"She'll handle the core of the problem." Was the only reply they got, as "Naruto" turned back to the fight. He very obviously wasn't going to divulge any more information, so the jounin didn't bother asking. He was lucky he'd gotten as much as he had from a volatile creature like the kyuubi.

After a moment of thought in which he observed the battle taking place before him, he turned back to his fellow jounin, frowning. "What do you think?" He asked them seriously, "Be straight with me."

Kurenai and Asuma exchanged a glanced, while Gai spoke immediately. "I think your initial assessment is probably our best option... even though I really don't like it. Considering what she did to his..." Gai cleared his throat. "To his arm with that one punch, she probably _would_ rip us all to pieces."

Kurenai spoke next, "I agree with you two, I think. But as soon as things get dicey..."

Kakashi nodded, turning to Asuma. The man shrugged, taking a drag off his cigarette, "I was with you from the start, Kakashi."

He nodded and returned his attention to the battle once again. He really needed to stop looking away. Not-Neji's broken arm was wrapped in what looked like ribbons of that black chakra. It looked as though the energy itself was supporting the limb's movement. There were black scorch marks all over the ground and walls, and Khrai was still throwing an onslaught of attacks, though Not-Neji now knew better than to try and stop them directly. Instead, he was dodging fully and redirecting the blows away from his face.

It seemed like whoever had... "taken control of" or "taken the place of" Neji couldn't feel pain at all. Otherwise, there was no way he'd be able to move his arm as much as he was. Now that Kakashi was paying attention again, he could occasionally hear the crunch and grind of bone on bone, and the wound from the compound fracture in his forearm was still bleeding. If this person (or thing, he supposed) _was_ controlling Neji somehow, he was doing a grand job of busting the kid's body up.

Khrai reared back with her left arm and drove her fist directly at Not-Neji's head with speed that hadn't been there before. With his Sharingan, Kakashi caught the moment when Khrai's thumb came away from the rest of the fist, and he saw her hook that thumb under Not-Neji's hitai-ate as he dodged out of the way of the attack. The hitai-ate hit the floor with a loud clang as the strange blond pulled back.

He saw her eyes flick up to glance at Neji's forehead for just a split second before she returned her attention to her fight. Kakashi's eyes narrowed. He had no idea what she was planning, but evidently it had required that she take off his hitai-ate. He swallowed hard, his body stiff with tension. Abruptly, Khrai leaned into a backwards handspring, putting a few yards between herself and Not-Neji. The white-eyed kid stared at her for a moment, before a smirk appeared on his face.

"Wha-at?" He taunted, "Are ya'-..."

"You're a fucking idiot." Khrai stated bluntly, her scowl fading into a more neutral expression. Not-Neji opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off again. "If you were going to possess a Hyuuga, you shouldn't have picked one from the branch family."

The kid's eyes widened a fraction, confusion settling on his features, so Khrai continued. "That mark on his forehead is an chakra receptor. My chakra is corrosive enough to eat through iron. Do the math, dipshit."

Her hands moved through a few hand seals, coming to rest on the tiger. A look of panic was crossing Not-Neji's features, and Kakashi felt a cold chill run up his spine. If that mark on his forehead was the real deal, it would mean that that really was Neji. If it was the real deal, Neji would be in excruciating pain, because that was what that chakra receptor was for. It was something the main family used to control the branch family. Nowadays, it was rarely used at all, but it still existed. It was still passed down generation by generation.

There was no pressure that filled the room. There were no words that were spoken by either party. There was no warning whatsoever, before Not-Neji's eyes widened hugely, his back arching, hands jerking halfway up. His knees gave out and he landed on them hard, his lips parting slightly, but no sound coming out at first.

Then, a bloodcurdling _scream_ burst from his throat. Kakashi's stomach twisted as he watched. He didn't know how that felt. No one who hadn't experienced it knew how it felt. There had been a point when no one really believed that the pain inflicted by main family members via that mark was particularly horrible. There had been a time when it wasn't considered abusive because the Hyuuga's kept it a secret amongst themselves.

Many people still thought that way.

Not-Neji's eyes rolled back into his head, his screams cutting off suddenly as his throat closed up. Khrai pulled her hands apart, and the technique was released. The kid immediately pitched to the side, his face white, blood seeping out of his nose, his whole body twitching all over. The blond quickly strode over to him, crouching down by his side and pressing her fingers to his neck. Then, she looked directly at Gai, and Kakashi felt him stiffen.

"He's gonna feel like shit when he wakes up," she stated, sitting back on her haunches. "But he's all-..."

Cutting her off mid-sentence, the same white light that had brought her there in the first place abruptly swirled around her frenetically, before disappearing. When it disappeared, Kaisuki was there, falling back onto her rear and looking as though she barely had the strength to hold herself upright. Kakashi and Gai exchanged a glanced before they both vaulted the fence and raced over to their separate charges. A medical team was already coming into the room with a stretcher when Kakashi knelt down beside Kaisuki, placing a hand on her back to help hold her up.

She looked up at him, her eyes shadowed with fatigue and her face pale. "Are you alright?" He wanted to know. Kaisuki nodded jerkily. She really looked as though she would pass out. Gai was already following one of the more hasty medical teams out of the arena, looking worriedly at Neji. The kid's face was gray, and he'd taken quite a beating. It was looking as though he'd be sharing a room with Rock Lee for at least a couple weeks. Gai had every right to be worried about him, considering all that had transpired.

"Kaisuki, do you know who that was?" Kakashi questioned, wanting to get as much out of her out as possible, before she passed out.

Kaisuki closed her eyes, lowering her head somewhat. Then, she slowly shook her head. "I... no." She mumbled, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know... what happened. I... passed out... after Sasuke's match."

Kakashi stared at her for a long moment at that. She'd been gone for that long? How had they not noticed until she got in the arena? If he'd known it wasn't her, he would _never_ have let her go into that fight. Especially not if the spirit who had possessed her had been trying to hide the fact that she was possessed.

"Alright," he replied gently. "Can you stand?"

She didn't hesitate on that one. "No." Was her soft reply. "I can't..."

Kaisuki didn't finish her sentence. Instead, she abruptly slumped towards him, resting against his arm. If she'd lost enough chakra to pass out, she was going to need to be hospitalized for a couple of days while her body replenished itself. As it was, he could feel her heart beating rather slowly through her back.

He heard someone clear their throat and turned his gaze in the direction of the noise, as it had sounded much like the kind of throat clearing used to attract people's attention. Hayate was the one who had cleared his throat. He was staring at his clipboard with a resigned look on his face, before he looked up and around to make sure he had an adequate amount of attention.

Then, he lifted a hand into the air, and spoke: "The winner of this match is Tsubaki Kaisuki, as per the Hokage's decision."

The obvious shifting of the blame had Sarutobi chuckling. Kakashi wasn't sure if he was pleased or infuriated at the Hokage for making such a call. He decided to let it lie in the back of his mind for now. He had slightly more important things to attend to. He scooped Kaisuki into his arms and walked off the arena with her, heading for the infirmary, from whence she could be transported to the hospital and be treated for severe chakra exhaustion.

He didn't know what to think about Khrai. She had evidently saved Neji from a fate unknown, and she didn't seem to have any malicious intent. She had a lot of experience fighting, as well. He could tell simply by how precise her movements were. They were harsh and violent moves, but they had a precision to them that could only be achieved through decades of experience.

She probably had a lot more than decades under her belt.

The jounin reached the infirmary and set Kaisuki down on a random bed, nodding curtly at the head irou-nin when she looked up at him. She smiled at him wearily and briefly, before returning to the paperwork she'd been doing.

He was sure the rest of the team would be joining him soon, so he didn't bother heading back to see them. Sasuke had evidently been transferred to the hospital, and it looked as though Neji hadn't stopped in the infirmary at all. He watched the only irou-nin currently in the room for a moment before looking back down at Kaisuki. She didn't look relaxed at all, despite being completely unconscious.

Kakashi sighed, sitting down in a nearby waiting chair. As he was reaching into his kunai pouch with one hand, he used the other to slide his hitai-ate back into place to cover up his Sharingan. He retrieved the book he'd been rummaging around for and flipped it open to the page he'd left off on. He needed something to concentrate on so he could think coherently.

 _At the very least,_ he thought sourly, _you got three out of four to the final matches._

It was far from comforting.

%MCEPASTEBIN%


	10. don't scratch the wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, folks! I got sick on Sunday and then I was Really Sick on Monday, so I totally forgot because I was sleeping all day. Hopefully the ridiculous length of this chapter will make up for my lateness.

_**ix.** _

Kaisuki wasn't entirely sure where she was. Everything seemed familiar and foreign at the same time. It was twilight, the sun just barely set and the moon on its way up the sky. She was walking down a path that she didn't recognize, heading for a destination she didn't know. There were lights spaced out along the cobblestone, and the path seemed to go on forever.

There was absolutely nothing off the path. Just darkness. There were tiny balls of light everywhere, though. They reminded her of fireflies. They flew on and off the path, flitting around her as though they knew her. She wasn't bother by them at all, for whatever reason. Perhaps it was because she felt like she knew them. Perhaps it was because she knew they wouldn't hurt her.

The path ended on an incline fairly far ahead of her. She couldn't make out what was at the end of it, but she could see where the lights abruptly stopped. As she approached, she realized that the thing at the end of the path was a door. That was it, though. No building around it of any kind. Just a door, and then darkness.

After a few minutes, she reached it. It was an extremely aged door that looked as though it had seen many terrible things. It had burn marks all over it, and deep scratches that ran in every direction. There were nails embedded in various spots near the cracks that marred the wood, as though the door had been broken at one point and then repaired.

Ironically, she was standing on a welcome mat.

She reached out and wrapped her hand around the scratched metal of the doorknob. It felt natural, for some reason, as though she'd opened the door countless times in the past. It reminded her of the home she'd lost. It reminded her of Saeka's whimsical temper and Izumi's mothering nature. It reminded her of something ancient and angry. It felt as though she were being welcomed and turned away at the same time.

She'd come too far to turn around now.

In one hasty movement, Kaisuki twisted the knob and pushed the door open about halfway. She stepped into the room that had been on the other side of the door, and her eyes widened in surprise and confusion. There were three people sitting around a kotatsu, staring at her, and for a moment Kaisuki didn't know who they were.

" _Kaisuki,_ " the youngest looking girl asked. She'd been dead for two years. Kaisuki still didn't know why she knew that. " _You made it._ "

The Tsubaki's lips parted, a look of surprise likely showing on her face as she realized whose presence she was in. Her eyes swept over the other two faces - a brunette with soft green eyes and a sad smile ( _two hundred and sixty-eight years_ ), and a blond with vibrant blue eyes that held an old, old anger. She recognized the brunette immediately as Izumi, and the girl who had spoken first was obviously Saeka.

She didn't know the blond, though.

Izumi beckoned her over, " _Oh, dear, don't leave that door open._ " She requested with a smile. " _You'll let out all the heat. Close it and come sit with us._ "

She blinked, and then quickly stepped further into the room, swinging the door shut again. " _It's really cold out there._ " She remarked, only just noticing how much warmer it was in the room.

" _Yea,_ " Saeka nodded, shrugging. " _That's why we got a kotatsu._ "

" _Sit down,_ " the blond that Kaisuki didn't know suddenly spoke, sounding impatient. Kaisuki stared at her for a moment, wondering if she should be indignant at being ordered around or if she ought to be thankful for the moderately hostile hospitality.

In the end, she decided against saying anything at all. She sat down on the side of the four-person table that was free, crossing her legs under the blanket. She then turned to the blond, a frown set on her face, and asked the burning question: " _Who are you?_ "

The blond's eyes narrowed briefly, before she looked to the ceiling and muttered something in a language Kaisuki had never heard before. Izumi cleared her throat loudly, and the blond sighed in equal volume, before turning her attention back to Kaisuki.

" _Khrai._ " She replied shortly and a little coldly. Kaisuki blinked, feeling slightly confused. Considering the fact that herself, Izumi, and Saeka were sitting in a room off a random path shrouded in night and surrounded by nothing but darkness, she felt she was probably somewhere inside of herself. It made sense up to the point of Khrai, who she didn't know. She supposed she could assume that Khrai was another spirit that was within her, but she couldn't feel how long the blond had been dead. It was something she knew she could do based on her prior experience with Izumi and Saeka.

" _Don't dwell on it,_ " Izumi said, pulling Kaisuki out of her thoughts. She looked over at the irou-nin, who was sipping at a cup of tea. " _Khrai is dead like us, but she's been around long enough to learn a few more tricks than everyone else._ "

Kaisuki nodded slowly, deciding to do as Izumi said and let it lie in the back of her mind. She was still largely confused about everything, though. There was a huge gap in her memory during the preliminary matches, and while she now knew that that had been Khrai, she didn't know _why_ Khrai had possessed her. She faintly recalled seeing Hyuuga Neji's battered, unconscious form in front of her when she'd come back to herself, but that was all she knew. Apparently, Khrai had beaten the hell out of Neji. She wanted to ask, but Khrai seemed so hostile towards her, she didn't know if she felt comfortable enough to so much as speak to her.

" _Kaisuki_ ," Saeka spoke up suddenly, attracting her attention. She was staring at the table with glassy eyes, as though she were focusing on something that wasn't there. " _You really need to talk to Hatake-san about Sasuke._ "

Kaisuki blinked, confused for a moment, before she recalled what she'd promised to ask him. " _Oh, crap_ ," she said, about ready to leap out of her seat and make a run for wherever the exit was. " _I didn't... shit._ "

" _We'll remind you when you're up and about again,_ " Izumi reassured her with a smile. Kaisuki smiled back at her gratefully. The suddenness of Saeka's statement had her thinking that something was wrong with Sasuke, probably related to that mark on his neck.

" _Relax, kiddo,_ " Khrai's voice cut into her thoughts, and when she looked up the woman was staring at her, one eyebrow cocked. " _No one's dead or dying. Look, we collectively called you down here because we need to talk._ "

Kaisuki blinked, confused. " _About what?_ "

" _About a lot of shit, you moron._ " Khrai replied, rolling her eyes. " _We need to talk about Neji, first and foremost._ "

She nodded slowly, thinking back to Neji's appearance when she'd come back to herself. Hopefully, she was about to get an explanation for why her fellow genin had been in such terrible shape.

The blond let out an irritated huff, " _He was possessed. By the embodiment of pure evil. They're called demons, and don't you dare talk to me about lore like you know what the fuck you're talking about._ " She said, her eyes narrowing when her hostess raised her eyebrows. Kaisuki stiffened, before nodding in understanding. She would save her questions for the end. She obviously didn't want to get on this woman's bad side.

" _Saeka told me his chakra felt darker than anything she'd ever felt before. I broke his arm to see how he reacted to pain, and when he, well, didn't, I knew it wasn't him._ " Khrai told her, still scowling. " _I used the chakra receptor in his forehead to funnel my chakra - which is really, really corrosive - into his chakra circulatory system. Demons possess humans by getting into their chakra, thus giving them free reign over a person's body and, if they're left long enough, soul. So, by pumping Neji full of my chakra, I basically dissolved that fucker into nothingness._ "

She paused, eyes turning towards the ceiling for a moment before she frowned and looked back at Kaisuki. Her scowl had faded somewhat. It was a truly angry expression, and Kaisuki didn't like to be on the receiving end of it. " _Any questions?_ "

Kaisuki nodded, uncertain of where to start. " _Why Neji? Is the fact that it was him an important detail?_ "

Khrai shrugged, " _Not really._ " She replied easily, leaning back on her hands. " _The eyes are the windows to the soul, literally. People with dojutsu like the Sharingan or the Byakugan are more susceptible to being possessed, because the connection between the body, chakra, and soul is much stronger._ "

Her mind immediately supplied Itachi's face, but she squashed it down. Sure, she supposed it was _possible_ , but she wouldn't jump to conclusions that were that extreme until she'd had an opportunity to speak to him directly. After a moment of further thought, she looked around the table. She wasn't sure if it made sense to ask the three of them what she wanted to know.

" _Do any of you know..._ " she asked quietly, " _what's wrong with Sasuke?_ "

Saeka stiffened visibly, lowering her head slightly so as to obscure her face with her black hair. Kaisuki wanted to directly ask her, but she knew better than to press when it came to the volatile girl. She looked over at Khrai, only to see that she was staring at Saeka, eyes holding compassion that almost didn't suit her. Finally, she glanced towards Izumi, who met her gaze. Her lips were pursed, and she was looking at the cup in her hands.

Abruptly, Saeka stood up, her face still hidden by her hair. " _I'll... later. I'll be back later._ " She muttered, before walking over to the door. Kaisuki watched her talons wrap awkwardly around the doorknob, watched her disappear into darkness. The path from before was gone, as was any form of light. Kaisuki stared after her, even after the door had closed. She had no idea what it was about what she'd said that had set Saeka off.

She could faintly hear her shrieking something incoherent in the back of her mind, but after a moment that disappeared as well, leaving a stark silence that she didn't like. Khrai let out an agitated sigh, and Kaisuki looked over at her. She was in the process of sitting up again, briefly cracking her wrists as she settled into a comfortable position.

" _She won't tell us anything._ " Izumi said, her voice soft. Kaisuki turned her way. The woman looked incredibly depressed all of a sudden, and for a moment Kaisuki thought she would cry. " _I don't know who that Orochimaru is, but I gather Saeka knows him somehow. That's all we've been able to deduce, though._ "

Kaisuki nodded slowly, downcast. It wasn't that she was unhappy about not being able to learn more about whatever was wrong with Sasuke, but rather that she felt terrible for upsetting Saeka. She felt that she did it far too often. The girl was incredibly easy to upset, and when she was, she usually remained that way for anywhere from a few hours to several days.

" _You guys talk to her a lot more than I do._ " It wasn't a question. It was a rather bitter statement that she hadn't meant to say out loud. She clenched her jaw shut, swallowing down the lump in her throat. Saying it out loud always made it feel more real. But even if she hadn't, she knew what the facts were. She and Saeka spoke much more often then they had about a year ago, but she still didn't know much of anything about her.

" _That's right._ " Khrai replied coolly. " _We do._ "

Izumi sighed heavily, " _Khrai, you're the only one Saeka will talk to._ " She said, her voice icy. She was looking at Khrai as though she wanted her to burst into flames on the spot. Khrai rolled her eyes, her scowl returning tenfold.

" _Only because you two_ _ **don't**_ _._ " She retorted heatedly, expression darkening. " _She doesn't talk to you because she doesn't trust you to not fucking hate her for the kinds of things she says and does. She assumes_ _ **everyone**_ _will_ _ **always**_ _come to hate her, because apparently that's what she's used to._ " Khrai ranted, her voice gaining volume, " _That's how Kaisuki's felt about her from day one, until_ _ **I**_ _came along and 'calmed her down' so she could be considered manageable!_ "

" _Don't play the martyr when it took you_ _ **seven years**_ _to decide to talk to her yourself. A lot of things could've been avoided if you'd been feeling helpful earlier on._ " Izumi countered, her voice cutting.

A rather indignant anger was seeping into her mood and igniting her temper. It wasn't as though she'd felt that way about Saeka because she'd wanted to. She hadn't known any better, and no one had bothered to educate her on what exactly the point of being a yurei was, or what Saeka's problem was, or _anything_ , really. She'd been going blind for the past seven years because she didn't have anything else to go on.

" _If you know so much,_ " she suddenly said, cutting into what had become an argument between Izumi and Khrai. " _Why the hell didn't you tell me? If you're_ _ **so old**_ _, why didn't you do_ _ **anything**_ _to help me? It's not like there's a handbook on how to be a Yurei, so how the hell was I supposed to figure_ _ **any**_ _of this out?_ " She snapped furiously, her hands clenching into fists on the table.

" _No one's been able to answer my questions, and trust me, I've been asking_ _ **everyone.**_ " she continued, fuming. " _So before you start judging me for not knowing what the hell I'm supposed to be doing,_ _ **maybe**_ _you should try to make yourself a little more useful!_ "

She gritted her teeth, more furious with Khrai than she'd ever been with Sasuke. Khrai was staring at her with a rather blank look on her face, though Kaisuki could tell that she was thinking. They maintained their staring contest for probably a minute, in complete silence, before Khrai ran a hand through her hair and closed her eyes. She looked extremely unhappy with whatever she conclusion she had come to.

" _Fine,_ " she finally said, sighing heavily. " _But you'd better pay some pretty close fucking attention because I'll be damned if I'm gonna repeat myself to a brat like you._ "

Kaisuki blinked, surprised by the response. Then, after a brief pause, she nodded, and Khrai started talking. At some point, Izumi excused herself, leaving Khrai and Kaisuki alone to talk. She explained everything that Kaisuki had been wanting to know about, answered all of her questions, and explained in detail the things that were harder to grasp.

It felt like hours passed before Khrai wrapped up the conversation and briefly explained to her how to wake herself up. She left the small room thinking about everything Khrai had told her, sifting through all of it bit by bit. Her memories and thoughts came to her much easier on the path that had reappeared when she'd opened the door.

_"The purpose of a Yurei is to heal damaged spirits."_

It wasn't that she felt obligated to them because of her status as a Yurei. It wasn't because she thought of them as broken people who needed to be fixed. She wanted to befriend them because they were people, and the four of them were stuck with each other. She wanted to learn more about them, and she wanted them to be able to trust her. They weren't broken people who needed fixing. They were just people who were hurt, and she just happened to have some band-aids laying around somewhere.

Kaisuki didn't have a clue what she was doing. Not really, anyway. She had ideas about it, but there was a lot that she would have to figure out on her own. At some point, she'd have to do some research into Yurei and the Tsubaki clan. She'd have to do a lot of thinking on the matter. She'd probably have to ask Khrai more questions, if she was willing to answer them.

The Yurei stepped up to another door, this one less battered and tired looking. All she had to do was open it and walk through it, according to Khrai. Something about the odd metaphors in Kaisuki's inner landscapes. She wrapped her fingers around the silver knob, pausing momentarily. She turned and looked over her shoulder, down the path and out into the darkness surrounding it.

" _Saeka_ ," She called. The sound of her voice echoed around her. Everything was so cold and dark and vast. She wondered if it'd be possible to change that over time. " _I hope you feel better soon. Take care of yourself._ "

There was no reply, but she hadn't been expecting one. She smiled slightly into the darkness, before turning back to the door and pulling it open. Light surrounded her at once, too bright to see through, and she stepped across the threshold.

" _I will._ "

...

"They're taking a really long time to wake up," Naruto complained, slumping back in his seat. Sakura sighed loudly in exasperation, but she didn't say anything. Kakashi glanced up from his book, eyes sweeping over the room briefly before he returned to the story. He pointedly ignored Naruto's statement altogether, as he'd said it about a dozen times over the past day and a half.

At the moment, they were in Kaisuki's room in the hospital. Sakura and Naruto had spent yesterday afternoon watching Sasuke sleep, and so today - with Kakashi in tow (for a little while at least) - they were going to spend the morning watching Kaisuki sleep. Eventually, their two unconscious teammates would recover, but until then, there would be very boring person-watching.

Kaisuki had severe chakra exhaustion. Sasuke had a high fever. Both of them had been sleeping nonstop since the day of the preliminary matches. It'd been a day and a half since then. Kaisuki ought to be waking up soon, but he didn't know about Sasuke. According to the nurses in charge of him, the Uchiha had woken up a couple of times, but never for more than ten minutes.

Sakura had explained what had happened to Sasuke in the Forest of Death to the best of her ability, but since she hadn't been around for the tail end of it, there was a rather large gap in her story. He'd have to get the part that Sakura didn't have from Kaisuki, if she knew anything about it. He had a feeling he knew what had happened, though. Or, _who_ had happened. It wasn't like there was a whole mess of people who gave out curse marks to willing and unwilling subjects alike.

He didn't know what Orochimaru was after. The snake Sannin's motives were and always had been shrouded in mystery. Once, he had indulged the masses and disclosed what he was after in the vaguest, least useful terms. He'd admitted that he wanted to found a village. Why, when, where, and how he wanted to found a village remained a mystery. So did whether he'd succeeded or not.

No one had seen him since then, and that had been twenty years ago. He'd completely disappeared off the face of the planet for that entire time, and most people thought that he had died. The Hokage had always thought otherwise, for reasons unspecified. Kakashi himself had never given it much thought. If Orochimaru was alive, they'd eventually come across him in some fashion or another. If he was dead, they'd never hear from him again. The copy-ninja wasn't one for making assumptions.

He looked up from his book when he heard a light knock and the sound of the door sliding open. The Hokage stood there, looking moderately grave. Something terrible had happened. Excellent. He had just been getting bored anyway.

"Kakashi," he said, nodding in greeting to the other conscious parties in the room. "May I have a word?"

He eyed Sarutobi for a moment, wondering what was going on, before standing up and shoving his book back into his kunai pouch. "I suppose you may, Hokage-sama."

"Is something wrong?" Sakura asked from behind him, sounding very worried. Naruto was probably looking over at them as well, curious but likely less worried. Unless someone was dying, Naruto didn't usually worry about anything.

Sarutobi smiled at her, though to Kakashi the expression looked a little strained. "It's nothing you need to worry about." The older man told her. Kakashi followed him out of the room and they started down the halls of the hospital.

They walked in silence for only a few feet before the older man spoke again. "Kakashi, I was contacted by one of the nurses in charge of Sasuke."

That already didn't sound good. He had told him about the mark on Sasuke's neck already, and they'd had a lengthy discussion about it, so that _probably_ wasn't what the problem was. Unless Sasuke's symptoms had been worsening, or something. But in that situation, a nurse would've come to tell _him_ before going to the Hokage, especially since Kakashi had already been in the hospital.

"Evidently," Sarutobi continued, letting out a sigh. He sounded rather stressed out. "There are a number of scars on his wrists that appear to be self-inflicted."

Kakashi's mind came to a screeching halt and he almost stopped in his tracks. Sasuke was self-harming? Since when? The kid just didn't seem like the type, so he was having a little bit of trouble wrapping his head around it.

But, he supposed, the ones who hurt themselves like that took great pains to ensure that no one suspected anything. Sasuke spent a lot of time pushing people away. Kakashi had always assumed that it was because the kid had the mother load of all trust issues, and that probably _was_ part of the reason, but the fact that he was hurting himself put things into a whole new perspective.

If Sasuke was pushing people away because he didn't want anyone to know about his self-harming, that had to mean that he didn't want help, right? It had to mean that he was trying to isolate himself for whatever reason. Did the kid hate himself that much? He sure acted the part of ego-maniacal brat, but if he was hiding the fact that he was hurting himself from people who cared, it _had_ to mean that he thought he deserved it. How could the kid be carrying around that much self-loathing without ever showing any signs of it, from the time that he was eight until now?

What could they do about it? They couldn't force him into therapy. That would be nothing more than a waste of time. He was sure that they wouldn't be able to persuade him to go, either, because Sasuke was stubborn in his belief that he was fine. Even if all evidence pointed to the contrary (as it currently was), the Uchiha would _never_ admit that he wasn't okay.

Throwing him into a psychiatric unit would only guarantee that he _never_ speak to them again, and it would likely do a lot more harm than good. He'd probably also do everything in his power to escape, and then likely run away from the village, never to return again. The last thing anyone needed was for Sasuke to feel so jaded that he wanted to leave Konohagakure when he was more of a danger to himself than to anyone else.

Although, Kakashi didn't even actually know how much of a threat Sasuke posed towards himself. It would depend on the depth of the scars, he supposed. If Sasuke was carving deeply, he was likely suicidal and needed to be in a psychiatric unit of some sort. If the scars were shallow, it would mean he probably wasn't really a danger to himself. That was an important distinction to make. It wouldn't do for them to overreact to whatever state Sasuke's wrists were in. If they did, it'd only serve to push the kid further away.

Sarutobi walked up to the door that Kakashi knew was the Uchiha's room and slid it open. He froze in place for about a half of a second, eyes widening. Sasuke was lying on his side, facing the door, his eyes squeezed shut. He was sleeping, face white and streaked with tears. His lips were moving but there was only sound coming out every so often, halves of words and broken sentences that didn't make any sense.

And he was scratching at an already bleeding wrist as though he were trying to peel all the flesh off of it.

Kakashi's gut twisted and he crossed the room in record time, grabbing the hand that had been doing the scratching and wrenching it away. He'd expected the motion to wake Sasuke up, but it didn't. In fact, it had quite the opposite effect. The kid seemed to delve deeper into whatever mess of a nightmare he was having, his broken sentences and half-uttered words turning into panicked cries of increasing volume.

"Stop, please, Itachi, please...! I don't want to see it again, please, stop, please, _please_...! _!_ " He sobbed, writhing and then thrashing about. Kakashi's stomach lurched. He was dreaming about the night of the massacre. How often did he have nightmares about it? Moderately desperate to wake the kid up at that point, he grabbed Sasuke shoulders and shook him hard.

"Sasuke, wake up!" he called loudly. He didn't know if it was some awful part of the nightmare that did it or if it was really the sound of his voice that roused Sasuke, but the kid's black eyes flew open. Kakashi pulled back quickly as he sat up with a strangled gasp, one hand pressed against his chest, the other fisted around the blankets at his side.

"Sasuke," Sarutobi addressed gently as he walked up to stand beside Kakashi. The Uchiha in question stiffened visibly, frozen solid for a good five seconds before he slowly looked towards them with wide, horrified eyes. His face was ashen, and for a moment Kakashi was sure he was going to throw up all over them. "Are you alright?"

Sasuke didn't respond. He stared at them for a long, long time, before turning his gaze back to his lap and hunching his shoulders. He didn't seemed to notice that his wrist was bleeding, which Kakashi found odd all by itself. Although, he supposed it was possible that Sasuke _had_ noticed and simply wasn't concerned about it.

"I'm fine." He finally muttered, voice barely above a whisper. His tone was enough to tell Kakashi that he wanted them to leave immediately, but he wasn't about to obey the wishes of a twelve year-old that was scratching up his arms in his sleep.

"Hokage-sama, would I be able to persuade you to find a nurse to look at his arm?" He requested. Sarutobi looked at him, but Kakashi didn't meet his eyes. He wasn't sure if he was angry or horrified or moderately panicked or any number of other things. His mind was racing. Somehow, this was much worse than the idea of him slitting wrists with a razor. Kakashi didn't even know what they were supposed to do about self-mutilation during sleep, or if there was anything they _could_ do.

Itachi had left Sasuke much more damaged than anyone had realized.

"I'll take my time," Sarutobi replied after a very brief pause. Kakashi nodded stiffly, but didn't say anything. The Hokage vacated the room quietly, and left them in complete silence. Kakashi wasn't entirely sure where to start. He felt very unsettled by what had transpired thus far. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to keep a cool head at that point.

"How long have you been doing that?" Kakashi asked after a pause. Sasuke didn't respond right away. After a couple minutes of silence, Kakashi started considering his lengthy list of interrogation tactics. He didn't _want_ to hurt him. That was a fact. But he wasn't going to drop the subject just because the kid wanted him to. He wasn't Iruka.

"It's really none of your business." Sasuke said, still refusing to look at his jounin instructor. Kakashi wasn't entirely surprised to hear the answer, but that didn't make him any less irritated by it. He understood (more or less) what Sasuke's problem was. But couldn't he see that Kakashi wanted to help? Or was it that he really didn't want any? He couldn't imagine why. Surely Sasuke didn't _enjoy_ waking up to bleeding arms?

"I beg to differ." He replied dryly. Maintaining his poker face was extremely difficult. He was not in a good place for this kind of interrogation. "How long have you been doing that?"

Sasuke's hands clenched into fists in his lap, and Kakashi saw him turn his wrist slightly. He was probably inspecting the damage. The bleeding hadn't quite stopped, but it had slowed considerably. The bed sheets were flecked with blood, and Kakashi wondered if Sasuke's sheets at home looked the same. The thought made his skin crawl.

The kid spent another lengthy period of time not answering the question before he spoke again. "I'm not..." He halted before he'd really even begun his reply, and Kakashi wished he could see his face. "It doesn't matter. It's not a big deal."

A bit of unrestrained fury appeared out of absolutely nowhere and Kakashi grabbed the kid's injured wrist, yanking it up above his head. Sasuke tried to pull away, but he was nowhere near strong enough to get his jounin instructor to let go of him. He didn't understand why the kid was fighting with him about it. He didn't understand why Sasuke didn't want help. He didn't get it at all. But he'd be damned if he let the brat chase him away. That might've worked on Iruka, but it wouldn't work on Kakashi.

From where he had pulled Sasuke's wrist to, he could better see the damage the Uchiha had wrought upon himself. It was actually quite bad. He'd managed to scratch all the way through his skin and probably a half a centimeter into the meat of his arm without waking up. He could see the other scars that the nurses must've been talking about. All of them looked like the work of scratching, which was a tiny bit of a relief. It meant he wasn't also taking razors to himself.

It was a small comfort, but at this point, Kakashi would take it.

"This isn't what you'd call a big deal?" Kakashi contested icily. His heart hurt. Sasuke still wouldn't look at him, and he was still trying to pull his arm back. He was sure his grip was hurting the kid, but he decided it would be best not to let the fact deter him. He didn't enjoy hurting people he cared about, but in this situation, he wasn't sure he had much of an out. "Answer my question, Sasuke."

Sasuke didn't answer right away. As the seconds turned into a couple of minutes, he still didn't speak. Kakashi clenched his teeth, frustration bubbling up inside of him. He twisted the kid's wrist about halfway to dislocating it, maintaining his cold demeanor. Sasuke let out a pained sound, trying harder to pull away. "I'm not going to play this game with you. Answer me."

"It doesn't matter," Sasuke insisted, and for a moment Kakashi thought he was going to start crying. He really didn't like this. "There's nothing anyone can do."

"It matters to me. Answer my question." He repeated, smothering the ache in his chest. There was no room here for him to be sentimental or caring or compassionate. If Sasuke could get through half a centimeter of his wrist without waking up, who was to say he wouldn't claw open an artery one day? Being nice now wasn't going to help anyone.

He told himself that over and over, but it really didn't make him feel any better. It was enough to keep him from backing down, but it wasn't enough to make him feel any less sickened. It was one thing to leave bruises during a sparring session or something. It was completely different when he was using interrogation tactics on his subordinates.

He tightened his grip and twisted Sasuke's wrist further, trying not to react to the pained sound the kid made. If he had to twist it much more than he already had, he was going to dislocate it. He wished with all his heart and soul that the kid wouldn't make him actually dislocate it. He waited patiently for Sasuke to decide whether he was going to cooperate or not, wondering if the kid was honestly going to try to out-stubborn him.

"A while," was the quiet reply he finally received. Kakashi gritted his teeth. It almost seemed like Sasuke was _trying_ to make this as hard on himself as he could. As though he were testing Kakashi to see if he really would dislocate his wrist. He was probably thinking that maybe the jounin would back down if Sasuke pushed him to that point. He obviously didn't know his instructor very well. Kakashi hated the situation he'd unwittingly put himself into, but he couldn't step down now. If he issued an ultimatum, he had to follow through with it.

"How long is a while, Sasuke? A month? A year? Five years?" He further questioned, chewing his tongue. He felt sick.

Sasuke sunk further into his shoulders and stopped trying to pull his arm back. When he eventually replied, his voice was small. "Since a couple.... months after the... after the..." Kakashi knew exactly what he was trying to say, but he didn't finish his sentence for him. "The... m-mass... massacre."

The fact that it was that difficult for Sasuke to say the word "massacre" spoke volumes by itself. Kakashi let go of him, and watched as he drew his arm to his chest and held it there. The jounin stared at his subordinate for a long time, uncertain of what to say or do. Sasuke had been scratching up his arm in his sleep for a little under four _years_. How had no one noticed before?

 _Because he doesn't let anyone get that close,_ he reminded himself, recalling the look on Sasuke's face when he'd realized he had company. He must've been planning to take it with him to the grave. He would've just eventually scratched through his arteries and died in his sleep, and no one would've known why he did it.

"I'm going to talk to the Hokage," he informed the kid decisively, though his voice was lowered. He shoved his hands into his pockets, still feeling very unsettled. "And we'll figure out what we're going to do about it from there. If you refuse to come when you're called, I'll hunt you down myself, so don't even think about it. Are we clear?"

Sasuke didn't say anything. He just nodded, still staring at his lap, still hugging his injured arm to his chest. Now was the point in the conversation when he was supposed to turn around and start being kind, but Kakashi didn't have it in him to try. He was sure any such behavior wouldn't be appreciated anyway. Sasuke was a proud person. He was probably stewing in humiliation because he'd been caught having a nightmare. Kakashi was sure he had been planning to take it to the grave, idiot that he was.

He heard a knock at the door and it slid open, revealing Sarutobi and the requested nurse. Kakashi nodded at them both in greeting, meeting the Hokage's eyes. The nurse saw the blood on the sheets and immediately bustled into the room, walking up to Sasuke's bedside and quietly asking to see where he was hurt.

Kakashi tuned it into background noise and walked over to the door, deciding it would be best not to say anything further to his subordinate. Sarutobi stepped aside and let him out of the room, eyeing him with an unreadable glint in his dark eyes. He wondered if the old man could tell how distressed he felt. He wasn't going to be able to join Naruto and Sakura back in Kaisuki's room. He was probably just going to disappear for the afternoon. He needed time to calm himself.

Sasuke obviously didn't value his life very much, even if he wasn't interested in killing himself. Kakashi didn't know the implications of self-mutilation during sleep. He didn't know if it meant that Sasuke was subconsciously suicidal, or if the act was a manifestation of anxiety, or if there was something else wrong with him. He'd never come across to the jounin - or his teammates - as particularly depressed or anxious, but Sasuke was so skilled at acting, Kakashi didn't think anyone would've been able to tell.

And now that he'd learned about the self-harming, he was beginning to think he didn't know anything about Sasuke at all. How much of who he claimed to be was a lie? How many other ways was he self-destructing in the privacy of his home? Kakashi didn't know what to do, but he supposed now probably wasn't a good time to be trying to figure that out.

He stepped outside and glanced at Sarutobi. "We'll talk later," he said, his voice strained. "I need a bit of alone time."

The Hokage looked a little surprised to hear that, but he nodded nonetheless. "Of course." He agreed. "I'll be waiting."

Kakashi didn't say anything else, instead starting down the street in the direction opposite of the Hokage's office building. He knew where he was going. He didn't spend much time anywhere else in the village. He didn't have to look up to know where to turn. He didn't have to glance around to figure out where he was at any point in time.

He found himself standing in front of Konohagakure's memorial stone for the second time that day. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He didn't know what he _could_ do. He hadn't expected to be put in charge of a kid like Sasuke. Kurenai was better equipped to handle the situation. She didn't have to worry about doing more harm than good, like Kakashi did. Asuma would be able to remain calm and think rationally enough to get him through the situation without having to issue any threats.

Gai probably would've noticed that something was wrong long before today.

They were going to need a specialist of some sort. An irou-nin with some experience and knowledge in mental health. He wondered if Izumi would be able to help in any way. He didn't really want to go spouting the Uchiha's business to Kaisuki, because it _really_ wasn't his place, and he was sure that Sasuke would never forgive him if he did. But if Izumi _could_ help, or even if she had some kind of helpful advice to offer, he wanted to know about it. He'd mention it to the Hokage as a last ditch effort and nothing more. He didn't know how many mental health specialists were on hand in Konohagakure.

Rain began to fall from the sky, soon soaking him through his clothes. He didn't move. He stared at the memorial, eying the names that were familiar to him, the names of those he had known personally. His stomach was still churning, and if he had been capable of it, he probably would've started crying right there in front of the memorial. He certainly felt like he needed to.

In situations like the one he had found himself in, some people would be begging for some kind of sign, for some kind of message to tell them which way to go. Many would call upon gods and goddesses for divine intervention. He was not that desperate, nor was he the kind of idiot that relied on anything he couldn't touch.

Kakashi only asked if those of his friends that rested amongst the stars would watch over his team. Evidently, he wasn't doing a very good job on his own.

...

Sasuke stood in front of the door to the Hokage's main office, his hand poised to knock. He already hadn't been looking forward to be seeing them, but now that he was actually in front of the door, he wanted nothing more than to crawl under a rock and never resurface. He'd been skillfully avoiding his team and Iruka (because Kakashi-sensei would surely have told him). He honestly never wanted to see his jounin instructor again, but he didn't really have a choice in the matter.

He felt sick.

His hand was still shaking. He'd only gotten out of bed about ten minutes ago, after being roused by a night terror unlike any he'd seen in a while. His wrist had been bleeding again when he'd woken up, in the same spot that he'd scratched up the previous day in the hospital. Now it looked like a disaster zone. He hoped they didn't ask him to show them his wrists again. They wouldn't be happy to see how much worse it had gotten.

It wasn't like he did it _every time_ he had a nightmare. If that were the case, he'd probably have ripped through his arteries ages ago. He woke up to bleeding arms about once every week and a half, sometimes more often, sometimes less often. For him to scratch two nights in a row was odd. It wasn't _that_ big of a deal. He wasn't actively trying to end his life. He wasn't having suicidal thoughts. He didn't know _why_ he did it, so there really wasn't anyway to make him stop. So he honestly had no idea what they were expecting to accomplish by dragging him out to see the Hokage.

Sasuke scowled at the door, gritting his teeth, and rapped on the wood. "Come in." He heard the old man call, and he opened the door. He stepped into the room, glancing between the few faces in the room. The Hokage, Kakashi-sensei, Iruka-sensei, and a woman he'd never seen before. Probably a "specialist." He lowered his gaze, deciding that he didn't really want to make eye contact with anyone in the room, and let the door swing shut behind him.

"Have a seat," the Hokage requested. Sasuke didn't say anything, just crossed the room and took the seat that had been offered to him. He felt like he was in trouble. He sort of was, he supposed. Though he was relatively certain that the adults in the room would disagree with that assessment.

"How did you sleep last night?" The old man asked, and Sasuke could hear the good intentions in his voice. It was disgusting. "I know you left the hospital against the will of the nurses and doctors in charge of you."

He felt sick. "Fine." He lied, scowling at a small burn on the dark red carpet. The Hokage hummed thoughtfully, and Sasuke could feel that he was being scrutinized. He didn't care if they caught him lying. The whole thing was so annoying and stupid, he sort of wanted them to know that he was so displeased with it all he was willing to lie about meager details like how well he slept.

"I'm sure you're lying," the Hokage stated frankly. "But I'll let you have it. Iruka, do you want to start us off?"

The man managed to sound both serious and lighthearted at the same time. Sasuke wanted to hit him.

"Of course." Iruka-sensei replied politely, sounding rather upset about the whole thing. The guy was ridiculously compassionate, and obnoxiously interested in the well-being of his former students. Sasuke didn't really care if he maintained a working relationship with Naruto, or Kiba, or Sakura, or _anyone else_. The Uchiha didn't want anything more to do with the guy who wanted to be everyone's father figure.

"I heard about everything from Kakashi." The teacher began, and Sasuke could hear the tension in his voice. "How often are you having these nightmares, Sasuke?"

His hands curled into fists in his lap, and he gritted his teeth. He didn't move, didn't speak, didn't do anything for a couple of minutes. He didn't know what to say. On the one hand, he was perfectly happy with the idea of telling them "approximately once a year" but he knew they wouldn't believe that. They probably wouldn't believe anything less than "a couple times a week," which was also a lie.

On the other hand, he had a feeling Kakashi-sensei would threaten to break his wrist again if he started lying about "important details." He was relatively certain that Iruka-sensei would have words to say about such a thing, but he was also positive that Kakashi-sensei wouldn't listen to a word he said, and the Hokage probably wouldn't try to intervene much, if at all.

Sasuke swallowed, his stomach churning. He felt sick.

"A lot." He replied shortly, wrapping his arms around his waist. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to be talking to them. He didn't want to have anything to do with any of them ever again.

"Sasuke," Kakashi-sensei addressed in warning. He sank into his shoulders and started chewing his lower lip.

_**The difference between "every night" and "every other night" is pretty negligible.** _

_I don't want to tell them that I'm having nightmares and night terrors interchangeably every single night._

_**We're really not that great at lying, and these guys are a little out of our league. There's no way we'd get away with it.** _

_I lied for_ _**years** _ _about all of this, and no one suspected anything. And_ _**now** _ _you think I can't get away with it?_

_**Well, I mean, we can try, but considering the size of the lie we're going to tell, I still think we'll get caught. It's harder to lie when you've already been caught. Obviously.** _

_I don't-... I..._

"Sasuke?" Iruka-sensei called gently. He blinked and looked up before he remembered where he was. The look in his old teacher's eyes was nauseating, and he already felt sick. He quickly dropped his gaze again. He didn't want to answer them.

He decided at the last second what he was going to tell them. "A couple nights a week." It was a lie and a half, but he didn't care. If he didn't look them in the eye, they would probably have a harder time being able to tell that he wasn't being truthful. Maybe. He couldn't be sure about that.

There was a pause, the adults in the room probably trying to tell if he was lying or not. After a moment, Kakashi'sensei spoke up again. "He's lying." He stated, and Sasuke wanted nothing more than to punch him in his stupid face.

"How can you tell?" Iruka-sensei asked.

The silver-haired man replied, "I can't. But if you honestly think his first answer would be the truth, you're an idiot. He said a couple nights a week, which has to be better than the truth. I'd put money on every night."

There was a pause before the Hokage spoke. "Is that true, Sasuke?"

Sasuke didn't reply. He sunk further into his shoulders without meaning to, wrapping his arms tighter around himself and swallowing hard. He gritted his teeth and glared all the hate in his being into the burn on the carpet. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to be talking to them. He wanted to go home and throw up.

"That pretty much says it all, doesn't it?" Kakashi said dully after about two minutes. Sasuke wanted very badly for him to spontaneously combust.

There was a pregnant pause before the Hokage spoke again. "Sasuke, you already know Izumi, of course." His heart stopped, and he looked up at the Hokage, and then at the woman he hadn't recognized. She was watching him carefully. _Kaisuki_ was in there somewhere. They just _told her_ without his permission?

"Kaisuki's in the back with Saeka and Khrai." Izumi stated evenly, still scrutinizing him. Sasuke had no idea if that was supposed to make him feel better or not. "They can't hear or see anything that's going on. They don't even know we're here, and I won't be letting Kaisuki back in control until I've gotten back to her apartment. You have nothing to worry about it."

Sasuke didn't really believe her. He didn't even know what "in the back" meant. He couldn't imagine how it was possible for Izumi to be chatting with him without Kaisuki being able to just listen in. Sure, he didn't know a whole lot about Yurei, but that didn't mean he was wrong.

"Sasuke," Kakashi-sensei spoke up as well. He'd likely been watching all the color leech out of Sasuke's face. "We went over this with her extensively long before we spoke to her about you. Relax."

"How?" He demanded to know. Kakashi sighed heavily, looking over to the irou-nin for the answer.

Izumi sighed heavily. "She's in the depths of her subconscious. She may as well be in another nation." The woman stood up, smoothing out the folds in her black dress as she went. She strode over to Sasuke, looking as though she had run out of the patience required to deal with his stubbornness. "Let me see your arms."

Sasuke stiffened. This was exactly what he'd been hoping _wouldn't_ happen. He wanted to get indignant, to find some way out of showing them his arms. He knew they were going to be extremely upset with him when they saw how much worse his wrist had gotten _overnight_. At that point, they'd probably just assume that he did it every night, or at least a lot more frequently than he really did. He couldn't imagine being believed anymore. Not when his answers to the first two questions had been lies.

"Your arms, please." Izumi reiterated. Sasuke bit his lip. There really wasn't any way around it, was there? Even if he tried to plead his case, they were going to make him take his arm warmers off anyway. He lowered his head, jerkily undoing the belts that held the accessories on, and slowly slid them off his arms. Izumi knelt down in front of him as he turned his wrists up so she could see them.

Iruka-sensei's eyes widened as he eyed the damage, and Sasuke directed his gaze instead to Izumi's face. There was a sad look in her eyes, but she didn't look horrified or distressed. She just looked saddened by the damage he'd wrought upon himself.

"You did it again last night," Kakashi-sensei remarked quietly. Sasuke met his gaze for only a second. He didn't know what emotion he was looking at, but he didn't like it, so he looked back down at his arms and didn't let his eyes stray again. He didn't say anything. Kakashi-sensei knew he had done it again let night, because he'd seen the original damage, and by saying it out loud, those who hadn't known now did. There was no need for him to speak.

"How often do you do this?" Izumi was inspecting his uninjured wrist first, running her fingers over the ugly scars that marred his arms. She was analyzing them very carefully, it seemed. He wondered what she was seeing when she looked at them. He wondered how much she could figure out just from touching them and looking at them.

He worked his jaw for a moment before quietly replying, "A couple times a month."

They were hideous scars. All of them were raised, knotted patches of skin. The old ones were white. The new ones were a blotchy, ugly reddish-brown. They almost looked like scars from burns. They overlapped and spread over almost every inch of his wrist. They were a symptom of weakness. They were a reminder of how broken he was.

He hated them.

Izumi let go of his right arm and moved over to his left. She furrowed her brow as her eyes swept over the wound he'd left on his arm. The room was deadly silent, and it was making him want to look up again. He felt sick.

The green-eyed woman hummed thoughtfully before letting go of his hand and standing back up. The Hokage looked at her questioningly while Sasuke hastily pulled his arm warmers back on. He could feel at least one pair of eyes on him, and it was making him exceedingly uncomfortable. He wrapped his arms around his middle again and hunched forward, staring at the carpet. He wanted to disappear.

"What is it, Izumi?" The Hokage asked. He sounded fairly curious. Izumi didn't respond right away, and he wondered what she was thinking. He flinched when something cold touched his jaw, and looked up. Izumi's fingers slipped along the length of his jaw to tap the underside of his chin, encouraging him to look up a little, so he did. He didn't really have anything against her. He actually quite liked Izumi. What he hated was the current circumstances. She'd probably never look at him the same again.

He was relatively certain that she was looking at the dark shadows under his eyes. There was a brief pause before she removed her hand, and he looked back at the carpet. He saw her step out of his peripheral vision, likely returning to the seat she'd been occupying when he'd first walked in.

"I don't think it's depression," Izumi stated after a period of silence. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to go home. He wanted to disappear. "It looks more like anxiety. But I have no idea why. I suppose its possible that the nightmares are triggering panic attacks in his sleep, and his subconscious' way of handling that is to, well... scratch his wrists until they bleed."

"What can we do?" Iruka-sensei immediately asked. He sounded distressed. Sasuke swallowed a lump that had come up his throat. His stomach was doing acrobatics.

The irou-nin sighed heavily. "There are a few things we can try, but if none of those things work, this will be beyond my abilities. At that point, he'll need to see an actual specialist."

_Let the lies begin._

"Sasuke," the Hokage addressed, and he looked up. He was exhausted all of a sudden. "I want you and Izumi to be meeting regularly. I'll set up an office here for the two of you to use, and I want you to see her as often as she tells you to." The old man then looked to Izumi, "I think it would be best if you started with bi-weekly meetings, considering his time frame for the scratching. Please monitor the state of his arms and work on finding a solution."

"Of course, Sarutobi-san." Izumi agreed with a nod. "I think that's a good idea as well."

_**Or not.** _

Sasuke stared at him, indignant. They were really going to treat the whole thing like a crisis. The Hokage raised an eyebrow at him, expectantly awaited his reply. He wanted to yell at them and burst into tears at the same time. He wanted to kill all of them. His eyes were burning and he wasn't entirely sure why he was so much closer to tears than he was to a raging tantrum. He was tired. He felt sick. He wanted to go home.

He wanted to disappear.

Sasuke stood up abruptly, surprising the other inhabitants of the room. He walked around his chair, turning his back to the Hokage and Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei and stalking towards the door. He threw it open so hard it slammed into a wall, and he heard someone move.

"Sasuke-...!" He barely heard his name come out of Iruka-sensei's mouth before he took off at a dead sprint. He heard several people shout at him to not run in the halls of the office building, but he ignored them. He wasn't entirely sure where he intended to go. Should he expect to be followed and harassed further? Would Kakashi-sensei or Iruka-sensei come looking for him?

He slowed down after he'd run several blocks, pausing to catch his breath. He glanced over his shoulder, ignoring the sting of his eyes. The sky was dark. It was going to rain. He stalked down the street for a few minutes before making a hard left. He climbed over the permanently locked gate to the Uchiha Estate and briefly glanced around, as though he expected someone to come out of one of the houses.

As usual, no one did.

He crossed his arms as a strong breeze rolled down the road, shivering. He felt a droplet of rain land on his head and started jogging. The house he was looking for looked as it had four years ago, when the area had been full of the hustle and bustle of life. His eyes were watering, so he wiped them agitatedly as he stepped up to the front door.

Sasuke stepped into his parents' house just as it started actively raining. The door fell shut behind him, and he leaned against the wall beside it, pressing a hand to his stomach. He felt sick. He slid his feet out of his shoes, leaving them by the door, and walked into the house. It was disturbingly quiet as he made his way to the back of the house. The second door on the left was ajar, because he always forgot to close it.

He wandered into Itachi's old room, looking around. No one had been around since the last time he'd been there, and that had been three weeks ago. He crossed the room, sitting down underneath the window and drawing his knees to his chest, as he always did.

He sat there for a moment, staring at the emptiness of the room. Even when Itachi had actually been living there, his room had always been rather barren, so it wasn't hard to imagine the sounds from the rest of the house. It wasn't hard to imagine that he was waiting up for Itachi because he was due back from a mission. It wasn't hard to picture his mom cooking dinner, or the sounds of his dad coming home from work.

It wasn't hard to pretend that the massacre never happened, that Itachi hadn't destroyed everything he'd ever held dear. He'd be in bad shape when he woke up later, but he didn't care. There were many things that he didn't let himself have because he felt they would infringe upon his path to power. Most people let themselves get away with quite a lot. He couldn't do that. If he let himself get soft, he'd never come back from it.

There was only one lie Sasuke ever let himself have. It was easily extinguished, and it only added to the driving force behind his determination.

_"Sasuke, aren't the fireworks nice this year?"_

%MCEPASTEBIN%


	11. the main matches

"Hello?" Sasuke called as he stepped into the office. The Hokage had secured it for the Uchiha to meet with Izumi in, as there weren't really any other private places they could go. Kaisuki's apartment would pretty much guarantee that Kaisuki would eventually find out that Sasuke was Izumi's mystery patient, and his own apartment wasn't a place he wanted people to intrude upon. It was a wreck, to be quite frank, and the state of it would reflect poorly on his mental health, he was sure.

Izumi came out a side room that looked to be about the size of a closet and smiled upon seeing him. "Hello, Sasuke." She greeted him, gesturing towards the vacant couch and armchair. He closed the door behind him before walking over to the couch and sitting down. The irou-nin took her seat in the armchair, holding a mortar filled with some kind of herbs and a pestle.

She started crushing up the plants with the pestle, and began, "How many hours have you been sleeping on average since you saw the Hokage about your scratching?" She asked.

Sasuke frowned, lowering his gaze to his knees. "Not a lot." He replied quietly. "Maybe... three or four hours a night?"

Izumi nodded, "Have you been stressing out about myself and the others finding out about it?"

He didn't answer right away. He didn't really want to admit that he had been stressing out about it to the point of actually losing several nights of sleep. Kakashi-sensei and he had made amends somehow, but he'd still managed to give himself three separate panic attacks about it. He was just glad that this whole matter had been taken out of his jounin instructor's hands. He didn't know what he'd do if the man had inquired after his parasomnia.

_**Or our wrists, for that matter.** _

But if he didn't tell her those things, she wasn't going to be able to do anything at all about it. This was the first time they were meeting in private, and while he didn't have a whole lot of faith in her (not because he didn't think she was able, but because he had tried _everything_ ), he wanted her to have the information she needed to give it her best efforts. He didn't really want to be referred out to a specialist. He felt insane enough as it was.

"Yea," he finally conceded. "I've... lost a few nights of sleep over it."

"How many nights?" She wanted to know, and he had to think about it for a moment. He wasn't entirely sure he remembered. It wasn't like he tried to keep track of how often he didn't get any sleep. There was no way he could.

"Uh," he muttered. He hadn't slept for the three days immediately following Kakashi-sensei and the Hokage first finding out. He'd missed two days before his current meeting with Izumi, and he hadn't been able to sleep from Friday night until Monday night. "Eight, I think. I don't usually miss that much sleep." He added.

Izumi hummed thoughtfully. "Eight nights in two weeks. That's quite a lot, considering how little you're getting when you do sleep." He nodded in agreement, and she continued. "How are the nightmares? Any better or worse than usual?"

_**A hundred times worse.** _

"They're..." He trailed off, staring at his hands as he picked at his cuticles, His wrists immediately started to ache, but he ignored the pain. "Worse. A ... a lot worse."

"On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the absolute worst you could imagine, how bad have they been on average?" She stared poking at the salve she was making with the pestle, likely checking it for consistency.

He hesitated momentarily before truthfully replying, "Fifteen." He watched as Izumi's hands stopped poking at the salve for a few seconds. He looked up from her hands to meet her gaze, only to find that she was looking at him with real concern in her eyes.

"Do they usually get this bad when you're stressed?" She questioned, and he shook his head.

"They don't usually get higher than a ten. I mean," he stopped picking his fingers as the ache in his wrists began to intensify and instead wrapped his arms around his middle. His wrists burned from the pressure, but he ignored it. "When the... For the first few months after the... the..." His throat constricted, so he swallowed hard and took a deep breath before trying again. "After the m-massacre, they were this bad. They were worse than this, actually. A lot worse. Those scaled no lower than a five hundred."

Izumi smiled at his halfhearted quip, though the expression didn't reach her eyes. He returned his gaze to his knees as she replied, "Do you always have trouble saying that?"

He had been hoping she either wouldn't notice or wouldn't comment, but he supposed that if she was going to be investigating his mental health, he should've known she would say something. He didn't say anything in reply, simply nodded slightly, and she hummed thoughtfully.

"We'll get to that another time, if you want to." She said as she set the pestle and mortar on the end table beside her chair. She then slid forward where she sat, "May I see your arms?"

His stomach plummeted through the floor. He had _known_ she would ask, but he still felt sickened by the idea of letting her see. He'd been scratching practically every other day since his secret had gotten out. He had _destroyed_ his wrists. He'd been keeping them wrapped in gauze to protect them, but in terms of his scratching, it had been completely ineffective.

He had considered asking to see Izumi sooner, if for no other reason than to get her to heal the damage, but he'd refrained because he hadn't really wanted her to see in the first place. Now, of course, it looked like he'd taken studded sandpaper to himself, and so showing her was much worse than it could've been.

_**Although, we've been doing that so often, it wouldn't have made much of a difference.** _

"I..." He started to speak before he even knew what he'd wanted to say. Izumi was looking at him expectantly, and his heart was hammering. She was going to tell the Hokage to refer him to a specialist after all, and then he was probably going to get thrown into a psychiatric ward for the foreseeable future. "It's... bad." He finally mumbled. "Really bad. I've... been doing it a lot."

He refused to look up at her. "May I see?" She asked again, her voice quiet.

Sasuke slowly unwrapped his arms from around his middle and undid the buckles on the ends of his arm warmers. His stomach was churning as he slid them off his wrists, revealing the thick layer of gauze he'd wrapped them in that morning. Izumi didn't speak as he pulled the tape off and started unraveling the bandages from his left arm, and then his right.

When he had finished, he turned his wrists up so she could see the damage. He looked up at her, because he didn't want to see his arms any more than he had to. She looked very alarmed. He didn't know how deep the wounds were. They'd only been getting deeper and deeper since the first day he'd made them. Normally, they would've healed into clean slates just in time for him to do it again. Instead, they had become gouges in his flesh.

Izumi reached out and took his right arm, which was the worse of the two because he was primarily left-handed, and examined it carefully. She ghosted her fingers just above the injury, fingertips beginning to glow. She wasn't healing it, though. He had no idea what she was doing, but if he had to guess he would say she was probably seeing how deep they were.

"I'm going to heal these," she stated. She hovered her palm over his arm, and it began to emit a soft green light. His wrist tingled and itched as the chakra seeped into the injury and sped up the healing process. "This has gotten dangerous. You've hit your tendons."

His heart skipped a beat and he clenched his teeth. He hadn't realized he'd done that much damage. If he'd known he was _close_ to hitting them, he would've sought out Izumi _days_ ago. It had been hurting his wrists when he moved his fingers for a couple of days, and he hadn't understood why. He hadn't given it much thought, but he supposed he should've known better than that, considering how often he'd been scratching.

He didn't say anything, just watched as Izumi healed his wrists. He didn't know what else to do. His words had been rather rudely taken from him, and he felt a bit nauseous. Maybe Kakashi-sensei had been right to worry that he'd accidentally kill himself, after all. Maybe he _should_ be thrown into a psychiatric ward. He worked his jaw, letting his hands fall back into his lap when Izumi let go of his freshly healed wrists. She leaned back in her seat and picked up her salve again, poking at it a bit before standing up.

"Wait here for a moment," she told him, before crossing the room and entering the closet-room. He ran his fingers over the scars on his arms as he waited. He hated that he did it. He hated it because it was a reminder of how broken he was. He hated it because it was just one more thing in his life that he had no control over. He worked his jaw and put his arm warmers back on, scowling at the floor once he was done.

A few minutes passed before a wooden flask appeared in his line of sight. He straightened up from where he'd been slouching and took it out of her hands, watching her sit down. Once she had settled, she indicated the flask and explained, "Put a tablespoon in a cup of green tea - and _only_ green tea - every night, about an hour before bed. It'll make you tired, and once you're asleep, it'll keep you from dreaming."

Sasuke's eyes widened. He'd never heard of such a thing. "Will it... really?" He asked in disbelief. Izumi smiled and nodded, and he found himself staring at the flask. If it worked, he would be nightmare-free for the first time in four years. He barely remembered what that was like. He felt like crying.

"It should. If the nightmares are causing the scratching, this should put a stop to that as well." She instructed, looking very serious. Sasuke found himself wishing it was later so he'd have an excuse to sleep right after he left. "If you're doing worse, don't wait two weeks to tell me. Tell Sarutobi-san _immediately_ that you need to see me urgently, and he'll let me know for you. I don't want you getting down to your tendons again."

He nodded, and she smiled at him again. He managed to return the expression, and her green eyes lit up. "I'll see you in two weeks at the latest. Same day, same time."

"Alright," he replied, "See you then." He stood up and exited the room, shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked back down the halls from whence he had come.

He had no real reason to imagine that her concoction would work any better than anything else he'd tried, but he felt better about the whole thing. Maybe he didn't have to worry so much about how Izumi was going to react to how he was doing at any point in time. Maybe he could stop thinking about how there were four people who knew about his scratching.

Maybe he would stop scratching and having nightmares. Then it wouldn't matter.

_**I should really fix that optimism of yours. It's only gonna hurt more later.** _

...

"So like, have you heard from Sasuke lately?" Naruto asked offhandedly. He was trying to sound disinterested, but Kaisuki could hear the slight pitch of worry in his voice. She smiled slightly, watching the ground as she walked.

"No," she replied. "I haven't seen him at all, actually. Neither has Sakura. I saw her yesterday. Maybe he's avoiding us."

Naruto glanced over at her, and she met his gaze evenly. "You're not worried?" He asked, sounding a little hesitant.

Kaisuki nodded, "Not at all." She replied, "If something was wrong, Kakashi-sensei would tell us. He's probably just training his face off. He's going up against that redhead from Sunagakure, right? Khrai said he's really dangerous."

Naruto blinked, "How does Khrai know?" Kaisuki shrugged.

"Aside from the fact that she watched his match, I have no idea." She said. "I think she knows something about him."

Her best friend nodded, "Y'know, the Kyuubi seemed pretty agitated during his fight against Lee. Speaking of which, are Neji and Lee okay? I never checked in with you about that."

Kaisuki sighed heavily. "Neji's going to need four different surgeries to correct the damage to his arm, and he's going to need about six months or more of rehab. Lee's..." She trailed off into silence, her stomach churning. Sasuke was going up against the redhead from Sunagakure. That person had _destroyed_ Lee's left arm and leg. "Lee might have to give up being a shinobi."

Naruto's eyes got hugely wide. "W-what?" He asked, his voice a little shaky. "How do you know?"

"Izumi said something about it when I was seeing him and Neji in the hospital. She said the damage to his arm and leg was probably beyond correction." Kaisuki replied quietly. "She said that she didn't have the surgical expertise to make the call with certainty, but she said Lee's future wasn't looking too good."

Naruto nodded slowly, looking horrified. "Sasuke didn't see that match. Do you think he'll be okay?"

Kaisuki shrugged again. "I don't know. I hope so."

The conversation lapsed into silence, which was fine. Kaisuki was comfortable enough with Naruto that she didn't feel like she had to be talking to him when they were together. The blond had once told her that he felt the same way, which Kaisuki had found amusing. Naruto was probably the loudest, most talkative person she'd ever met, so the thought of him truly enjoying the silence between them was a little odd.

She looked up from the ground ahead of her feet in time to see a trio of people walking around a corner. The team from Sunagakure. The one that normally wore face paint (he wasn't in his usual getup) was holding what looked like a map, turning it in various directions. The redhead was walking beside him, though he wasn't walking very close to his team. The tall blond girl was peering over the painted-face guy's shoulder, frowning.

"This map is impossible. Why don't we just ask someone?" The blond girl finally declared. She looked up and spotted Naruto and Kaisuki, who were only about six feet away at that point. She strolled up to them, looking a little irate.

"Hey, are there any places in this village where we can get omu-rice?" She asked bluntly. Kaisuki blinked, exchanging a brief glance with Naruto as she scoured her mind for the name and location of the new restaurant that she _knew_ served omu-rice. It wasn't a very popular dish amongst the natives of Konohagakure, but the restaurant made a killing on tourists because they were able to get very fresh octopus from Wave Country since the bridge had been built.

"Uh," Kaisuki opened her mouth and then closed it, eyes drifting towards the sky. It was close to Ichiraku's, she knew. After a moment of thought, the location of the restaurant reached her, and she spoke, "Ah, yea. It's like... let's see... Ichiraku's, that candy store, the boutique... and some other store or whatever. Yea, it's like six doors down Uotani Street from Ichiraku's. We can walk you there, if you want."

The blond blinked, glancing over her shoulder at the rest of her team. The painted-face guy shrugged, and then nodded. She turned back to Kaisuki and Naruto, planting a hand on her hip, and replied. "Sure, that'd be great. Thanks."

"No problem." Naruto answered. "Temari-san, right?"

The girl snorted, "I'm hardly a -san, you brat. But yea, I'm Temari. This is Kankuro," she gestured to the brunette who normally wore the face paint. "And that's Gaara, though I doubt you could've forgotten his name."

"Actually," Kaisuki said, staring at the redhead. He was looking off to the side at something. He looked exhausted. "I wasn't really present for any of those matches. I got to see Sasuke's, but then I blacked out. So I didn't know any of your names."

Kankuro stepped over, furrowing his brow, "You looked pretty attentive to me, at the time."

"Ha," Kaisuki chuckled. "That wasn't me. That was Khrai. She's... a dead girl."

" _I'm not a girl._ " Khrai grunted, sounding like her mood had been soured by something. Kaisuki had thought she'd heard the sounds of fighting earlier in the day, but she hadn't actually heard from Khrai all day. Izumi had been around on and off, and Saeka had been pretty much gone for the past two days.

" _Oh, don't be so inflexible. I'm making you sound younger._ " Kaisuki quipped. Khrai snorted in her ear and Kaisuki felt her settle down close to the front. She was observing, then.

" _I'm nine hundred and fifty thousand years old, but I ain't dead._ " Was the reply, and she could practically hear the woman smirking. Kaisuki resisted the urge to grin, and addressed the team from Sunagakure.

"Well, shall we?" She asked, gesturing down the street. Kankuro smiled and nodded, and Kaisuki stepped around Temari and started walking.

"C'mon, Gaara," Temari said, her voice gentler than it had been when she spoke to Naruto and Kaisuki. Gaara looked up and over at them, and his eyes fell on the Tsubaki. His eyes narrowed, and he glared at her. She smiled at him, and he diverted his gaze elsewhere as he fell into step near Temari.

" _He's hilarious._ " Khrai remarked, and Kaisuki internally hummed in agreement.

"So like, who do you think is gonna win?" Naruto asked, turning around to face the team that was following them. "Gaara or Sasuke?"

Kankuro snorted, "Gaara, obviously." Temari nodded in agreement.

"What about you, Kaisuki? What do you think?" He asked, "I bet Sasuke wins. He's a cockroach like that."

Kaisuki chuckled, tilting her head back and forth as she considered the question. Naruto was drifting to the right, and he was about to run into someone, so she grabbed his elbow and pulled him over to her side. They linked elbows so she could guide him, and then replied. "I dunno, honestly. I think it could go either way."

" _I agree._ " Khrai stated, " _Gaara's got an ultimate defense in the form of the sand in that gourd. You didn't get to see that match, so you don't know. I'll show you tonight when you go to bed. So, Gaara's got defense to kill for, but Sasuke is_ _ **driven**_ _and he's not going to let anything stand in his way. Not even... well, yea. Never mind. That's my opinion._ "

" _You're being really cagey lately,_ " Kaisuki commented. " _Like,_ _ **really**_ _cagey. What is it about Gaara that you're not telling me?_ "

" _It's not relevant at this point. I'll tell you if it does become relevant, but not before then._ " Khrai replied evenly. " _I would hate to sully anybody's opinion of anybody else._ "

"You know what would be a good fight," Naruto said, looking skyward. "I think Khrai versus Gaara would be a good fight. That would get intense, I think. Someone would die though."

Kaisuki snorted, "Khrai wouldn't kill him, she has a soft spot for 'kids.'"

"Wow, she calls us kids?" Naruto said, looking offended.

She smiled, "Well, she's like, nine hundred and fifty thousand years-old, so yea, we're children in her eyes."

Naruto's eyes widened, "Wow, she's old."

"Oh my lord, Naruto, you don't tell a lady she's old." Kaisuki retorted, laughing.

" _I would hardly call myself a lady._ " Khrai muttered in the background. Kaisuki had to refrain from bursting into renewed laughter. Khrai's sense of humor was dry and sarcastic, much different from Saeka's wittiness. Both of them were hilarious, though, and Kaisuki was glad to have them. She didn't know what she'd do if she had been stuck with three spirits who didn't have any form of a sense of humor.

"Oh, shit, sorry." Naruto replied hastily, glancing at Kaisuki with a sheepish smile. She shook her head, chuckling. She glanced over her shoulder to do a quick headcount. Everyone was still present, though Gaara was looking more and more tired with each passing moment. His eyes were half-closed and he was dragging his feet. His slouch also looked worse than usual. She had no idea how he could carry around a gourd full of sand. It had to weigh well over fifty kilograms.

"Are you alright, Gaara?" She asked, "You look pretty out of it."

He glanced towards her, somehow mustering the strength to glower, though the fatigue in his eyes sort of ruined the expression. She didn't falter, just waited for his reply. Temari and Kankuro had also glanced towards him, both immediately looking worried.

" _Are_ you okay?" Kankuro asked, and Gaara crossed his arms, looking irritable.

"I'm fine," he replied, his voice quiet. He really didn't sound well. "Just tired. My back hurts."

Kaisuki furrowed her brow, "Do you want us to stop for a minute?"

" _No_." He replied icily.

She frowned, turning back to face forward. " _Izumi,_ " she called. " _Izumi, are you around?_ "

" _Yes, I'm here._ " She replied, " _What is it, Kaisuki?_ "

She felt like she was intruding upon his privacy, but she wanted to be sure that everything was alright. " _Did you see Gaara? He looks really tired. And he says his back hurts._ "

" _Well, yes, he's carrying probably a hundred pounds of sand on his back._ " Was the slightly sardonic reply. Kaisuki smiled just a little, her head bowed forward a little. " _As for the fatigue... Well, remember that he's an insomniac, Kaisuki. He probably gets like this most nights._ "

She hummed internally in agreement, " _Okay. I just... I wanted to make sure nothing was wrong with him._ "

" _Fraternizing with the enemy, hm?_ " Saeka's voice floated up out of nowhere. " _Kaisuki, do you have a thing about tragic characters?_ "

" _Oh, hush, you._ " She replied, " _I don't have a crush on anyone and you know that already. Are you feeling better, now?_ "

" _Yea,_ " was the simple reply. " _Khrai isn't though. She left when I showed up. I think she's mad at me still._ " Her voice got quiet, and Kaisuki immediately knew what she was thinking.

" _It's okay, Saeka. Khrai'll come around. She just needs more time to blow off steam than you do._ " Kaisuki reassured, " _People fight. It happens, and it's okay. Don't worry about it._ "

" _Okay,_ " Saeka answered softly. " _It was a stupid fight. You're right. She'll... she'll get over it._ "

"Here we are," Naruto said, and Kaisuki looked up. Sure enough, there was the omu-rice restaurant. The Hanajima Bed and Breakfast. She had _known_ the name of the place had the word flower in it. They stopped in front of the door, Kaisuki turning around to face the team from Sunagakure.

She smiled at them, "Enjoy your dinner," she said cheerfully. "I'll see you at the main matches, if not before then."

Temari smirked, and nodded. "Yea, we'll see you then, at the very least. C'mon, you two," she said to the two younger boys standing behind her. Gaara was staring at the restaurant with a look of moderate disdain on his face, whilst Kankuro was peering in through the window, his eyes bright with curiosity.

Kaisuki and Naruto turned away as they walked into the restaurant, offering a final goodbye wave before turning and heading further down the street. It was dark out, though Kaisuki was pretty sure it wasn't all that late.

"That Gaara kid looked so tired," Naruto commented. "Maybe Sasuke'll win because he falls asleep during the match."

Kaisuki snorted, shaking her head. "He's an insomniac, according to Izumi. He'll probably be fine during the matches because they'll be during the day."

The blond hummed and nodded. "I guess. Oh, here's my turn." He said, coming to a halt. Kaisuki stopped as well, turning to him.

"I'll see you later?" She said, and he nodded enthusiastically. They gave each other a quick hug before Naruto started down his street backwards, waving at her.

"See you around, Kaisuki!" He said, before turning around and starting off at a light jog. Kaisuki watched him go, still smiling. She was very pleased that she got Gaara's name. She shoved her hands into her pockets and continued down Uotani Street. Her apartment wasn't for another couple of blocks. Naruto was very lucky to have a place so close to Ichiraku's. Sometimes, she was certain that the blond was single-handedly keeping that small business open.

Kaisuki walked for several more minutes before she was heading up the stairs to the floor her apartment was on. She pulled her key out of her pocket and unlocked the door, stepping into the house. She didn't bother to turn the light on, instead heading straight to her bedroom. She was beat, and she wanted to see Gaara's fight against Lee.

She changed into her pajamas and clambered into bed, getting comfortable and closing her eyes. " _Khrai?_ " She called, heading down the path. A moment later, she arrived at The Door, and walked into the little room. Khrai was the only one present, looking as though she were brooding about something. Kaisuki walked in and sat down at her place at the table, clasping her hands on the wood.

Khrai looked up at her, blinking, and then smirking. " _Brace yourself. This fight was... gnarly, to say the least._ "

She nodded understandingly, and Khrai sat up on her knees, leaning over the table, and placing a hand on Kaisuki's forehead. All at once, everything she could see melted into darkness, only to be replaced with the image of Rock Lee and Gaara standing on opposite ends of the arena. Everything was completely still for a long moment, not a single sound to be heard. Then, after what seemed like ten minutes, Lee finally spoke.

_"Don't get hasty," the younger Green Beast said, before dropping the cork from Gaara's gourd. She glanced over at Naruto, and he was attentively watching the match. Sasuke was gone, having been taken to the infirmary. Sakura looked incredibly worried. The faces of Kaisuki's peers ranged from worried to excited to endlessly fascinated._

_She had an incredibly bad feeling about this match. Something terrible was going to happen. She knew_ _**him** _ _far too well to expect anything else. She just hoped he didn't go on a rampage. She wanted to maintain her cover for a little longer. Hayate Gekko lifted a hand into the air to quiet the audience, and spoke._

_"Let the ninth match begin."_

...

_She presses herself against the stone wall, wheezing around her broken ribs, eyes welling up with tears._ _**He** _ _is slowly crossing the atrium towards her, twirling a knife in his hand, a grin plastered on his face. Panic rushes through her, and the increase of her heart rate only serves to aggravate her ribs further._

_**"What? Are you scared, Saeka?"** _

" _-ke up._ "

_The setting changes and she's walking down a dock. There's blood caked on her hands, and her chest feels hollow and cold. Ayumu is dead. Ayumu is dead. Ayumu is dead. It repeats in her head over and over and over. Her only child is dead. He was only twelve. He wasn't supposed to go like that. He was supposed to outlive her. All she can think of is the whisper of his voice, the light fading from his brown eyes. His father's eyes._

_**"M-mommy..."** _

" _Kaisu..._ "

_it doesn't matter if she dies now- it doesn't matter if she ceases to exist like everyone else on this god forsaken planet- it's not like anyone will miss her- it's not like anyone will mind-_ _**it's not like she has anywhere else to go but down** _ _\- she gathers chi to her fingertips and pressed them to her- blood sprays out of the wound- fading light from the sky- the sound of her own laughter- she'll never fall as low as they did- she'll never be as weak as he was-_ _**she'll never stop** _ _ **hating him** _ _**.** _

_**"I give you my heart..."** _

" _Kaisuki, for the love of fuck,_ _ **wake up**_ _!!_ "

Kaisuki's eyes flew open and she flailed into a sitting position. Her heart was hammering. She took a moment to catch her breath, uncertain about what she'd seen. The person in the first place had been completely unfamiliar to her, but he'd been speaking to Saeka. The second part had contained pain identical to the agony she knew Izumi carried with her. The third part-...

" _Kaisuki, you need to leave. You're going to forfeit the fucking exams._ " Khrai interrupted her train of thought, and just like that, the dream was gone. She blinked, and glanced over at the clock on her nightstand, eyes widening in horror. She was _really_ late. The first three matches were probably already over. Sasuke and Gaara were probably fighting by now. If she didn't get to the stadium quick, she was going to miss her match, which came right after the Uchiha's. Naturally, the one day of her _life_ that she overslept was the day of the main matches of the Chuunin Exams.

She hastily threw her clothes on and hurried out of her apartment. She took off at a run down the mostly deserted streets of Konohagakure - practically everyone in the village was at the stadium to see the main matches. They were the only public part of the Chuunin Exams, so they always attracted a large crowd. And since Sasuke - one of only two remaining Uchiha in the Shinobi Nations and little brother to the _very_ infamous Uchiha Itachi - was competing, there was even more demand for seating that what was usual. Kakashi had told them that much when they'd met the previous afternoon for lunch. Kaisuki was sure the village would make a bucket of money on the matches this year.

She hurried down an alleyway that cut across the largest of the residential blocks, very nearly running into someone when she came out the other side. The stadium was more than halfway across the village from where she lived. If she wanted to get there in time, she was going to have to take every shortcut she knew.

She thought she heard the faint sounds of whispering in the back of her head. She could feel that someone was angry and afraid at the same time. It felt like Saeka, though she didn't know what was wrong. She rounded a corner, deciding that she'd simply wait for the girl to tell her what was wrong.

" _Kaisuki_ ," and sure enough, Saeka spoke up. " _I need to take over. Now._ "

She sounded highly agitated, but her tone was urgent. Kaisuki slowed to a stop halfway down another alleyway, and frowned. " _What's-_..." she began, but Saeka cut her off.

" _There's no time. Give me the reins._ " The girl interrupted, and Kaisuki could feel her invasive presence pushing forward. She hesitated for a moment. Saeka sounded like something was really wrong. The last time the girl had sounded anywhere close to this urgent, she had been protecting Sasuke and Tazuna-san on the way to Nami no Kuni.

She bit her lip, lowering her gaze to the ground and closing her eyes. " _Alright. Be careful._ " She let Saeka step up front, moving back so she could do whatever it was she needed to do unhindered. And, in return, Saeka didn't hurl her as far back into her subconscious as she could throw her. Instead, she was permitted to have front row seats, where she could see everything that Saeka saw, hear everything Saeka heard, and so on.

" _Khrai,_ " Saeka called out, leaping up to the roofs and taking off. She moved so fast, Kaisuki almost couldn't follow her surroundings. She felt Khrai's presence appear beside her, but she didn't say anything. She glanced to her side, seeing the woman standing there with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. Something was wrong.

" _What's wrong?_ " Khrai asked, sounding a bit alarmed. " _Who happened?_ "

" _I need level four._ " Was the only reply the blond got. Kaisuki felt Khrai stiffen, and wondered immediately what they were talking about. Level four? Level four of what?

" _You need to be in your own body for that, first of all. And secondly, why?_ " The older woman demanded. She could feel anger seeping around them. Saeka was close to the boiling point and Kaisuki didn't know why. It was getting incredibly warm. She felt her hands move through several handseals, hearing a slightly higher pitch of her own voice speak - "Zenshin kirikae no jutsu."

A swirl of fiery chakra surrounded them momentarily, and when it cleared, everything felt different. She could feel the talons that replaced her fingers, she could feel how much lighter her body was. She could see the black hair than fell in front of Saeka's eyes, and she noticed how much better her vision was.

" _Khrai._ " She said, voice strained. " _I need level four._ "

Khrai didn't reply, and the heat of Saeka's agitation only grew. " _ **He's**_ _here. They're_ _ **all**_ _here._ "

Kaisuki frowned in her inner form, confused. Then, she recalled what Saeka had said at the very beginning of the exams - _"_ _ **He's**_ _here."_ Was she talking about the psycho that had attacked Sasuke, whom Saeka seemed to know? Had he brought company? What exactly was going on?

There was a long silence as Saeka crossed the village in record time. They had cleared nearly the entire distance in under ten minutes. The girl was in a hurry. Something bad was about to happen. Was the village in danger? Did they need to alert the Hokage before anything else? What exactly was Saeka sensing? She knew the girl was a sensory-type, but she couldn't feel Saeka's perception of chakra. She didn't know who was coming. She didn't know what the immediate threat was, or who was in danger, or _anything_.

" _Level three._ " Khrai finally compromised, her tone final. " _I'll let you up higher if I think it's necessary._ "

" _Khrai,_ " Saeka growled. " _Level_ _ **six**_ _won't be enough. It was_ _ **never**_ _enough._ "

Kaisuki's eyes widened, and she looked at Khrai again. The woman hadn't changed her expression at all, and she seemed to be firmly set in what she had decided. The Tsubaki watched her for a moment, worried, before she felt a steady increase in the pressure around her. At first, she thought it was just Saeka becoming angrier, but then she realized that what she was feeling was the familiar, hot weight of Saeka's chakra.

It enveloped the girl's body, and her speed doubled, if not tripled. Kaisuki was no longer able to follow the scenery around them as they went. It made her head hurt to try, so she simply focused on the stadium as they approached it.

Saeka scaled the stadium wall instead of running inside and taking the stairs. Kaisuki could feel that she wasn't using her chakra to adhere to the wall, either - she was simply moving so fast that she was able to get up the three kilometer walls before gravity sent her falling back. They landed atop the walls, but Saeka didn't stop moving. She ran along the flat concrete, staring down into the stadium. As she'd suspected, Sasuke was battling Gaara. If the lack of injuries on Sasuke was any indication, they had only just started.

So abrupt that it startled her, Saeka turned on the balls of her feet and started running down the walls. The amount of speed they gained was frightening, and Kaisuki had no idea how the girl could see where she was going. Saeka's feet left the ground as she leaped forward, twisting in midair and swinging her talons with speed unlike any Kaisuki had ever seen. The Tsubaki couldn't follow the movement at all.

She felt her talons connect with something solid. It had felt as though they had gone in relatively deep, and that whatever wound had been inflicted wouldn't be pretty. She swallowed hard when Saeka's feet finally hit the ground again, squarely between Gaara and...

_"What? Are you scared, Saeka?"_

A man with dark blue eyes looked up from where he had landed, a large gash over his collar bone. He didn't look to be at all bothered by it, even as it seeped blood down his arm. He stared at her for a while, looking surprised. Then, as he slowly straightened up, a purely evil smirk widened across his pale face. Kaisuki could feel Saeka's heart racing in her chest, she could feel the terror and the hate filling her to the brim.

"You look well... _imouto-chan_."

%MCEPASTEBIN%


	12. loss

"You look well... _imouto-chan_."

Sasuke's brain came to a screeching halt. Little sister? Saeka had a brother? Who was that guy? His eyes were wide as he observed from several feet behind the newcomer, wondering faintly if he was going to have to defend himself from the guy. Saeka looked frightened. There was hate in her eyes, but her body language spoke of fear. If Saeka was scared of this guy, he had to be extremely powerful. He had to be strong enough that the pink-eyed girl couldn't beat him.

Which meant, in short, that anyone that guy targeted was _dead_.

And the man had been aiming for Sasuke's opponent, Gaara. Why he had been targeting the redhead, Sasuke didn't know. He didn't know what would've happened if Saeka hadn't stepped in. He didn't know what would happen when the guy defeated Saeka and went after Gaara again. He had no idea what was going on.

"What are you doing here, Teara?" Saeka asked, her voice unsteady. Sasuke held very, very still, not wanting to be noticed quite yet. If he needed to assist Saeka, he would, but he would be much happier if he could avoid engaging this Teara guy in battle. He wasn't really interested in getting himself killed.

"Oh, you know, the usual," Teara drawled in reply. "Orochimaru-sama wanted me to nab him a lil' pet so we could break this shit hole into a few pieces."

Saeka was working her jaw, and Sasuke could see her pink eyes darting around the area. She didn't look like she was happy with the terrain she was going to be fighting on. Or perhaps she was just worried about Gaara and Sasuke. He didn't know. Orochimaru was in town (again), apparently, and he was going to make a ruckus in the village, probably kill a bunch of people, and naturally there was nothing Sasuke could do about any of it.

_**Useless.** _

He gritted his teeth, but didn't move. He knew better than to try and jump into a battle against a powerful foe without any information. That was a stupid mistake to make. That would get him killed. The last time he'd tried to fight someone like that, it'd resulted in...

_Still don't actually know what that guy did to me._

"Pet?" Saeka replied flatly, looking ever more tense. "You mean Gaara."

Teara snorted, "That _is_ the only animal hanging around the stadium, after all."

Sasuke had no idea what they were talking about. He looked past Saeka to see how his opponent was faring. Gaara looked rather insulted and very confused. His sand was sifting around on the ground restlessly, betraying how tense he was. The redhead glanced past Saeka and Teara, and Sasuke met his gaze.

It was evident that there was some piece of information that he was missing. Gaara, an animal? That was quite the insult, but Sasuke had no idea where it had come from. Did Gaara know this Teara person? He looked pretty confused, so that didn't really explain away the situation. Sasuke swallowed hard, his mouth dry. This was pretty stressful.

He felt four presences appear around him, and glanced to the side. Kakashi-sensei was standing there, and he could see the tension in his eyes. No one knew who this guy was. All Sasuke knew was that Teara was one of Orochimaru's men. That wasn't really much to go on, in all honesty.

There was a weight that fell on his shoulders all of a sudden, a bone-deep chill that settled in his chest. He looked back over at Teara, his heart rate staring to go up and his lungs refusing to take in a full breath. Something was wrong. Something was wrong. Something was wrong. He wanted to say something to Kakashi-sensei, but he couldn't speak. He was frozen solid.

_**It's like** _ _ **that** _ _**night.** _

His stomach lurched and he swallowed compulsively, a tremor settling in his muscles. He felt sick. He couldn't take in a deep breath. His heart was hammering away in his chest. His neck was throbbing where Orochimaru had bit him, where that mark was. He couldn't move. He couldn't move. He couldn't move.

_Move. Move. Move. Move. Move move move move move move please please move don't freeze up on me now please_ _**please** _ _don't freeze up..._

"You're not going to get through me." Saeka growled, and Teara chuckled lightly. The blue-eyed man lifted a hand up, his entire demeanor showing how completely relaxed he was. He was completely unconcerned with the four jounin standing beside Sasuke. He didn't care about the presence of Saeka or Sasuke.

Teara looked as though he _knew_ they wouldn't be able to keep him away from Gaara.

A few sparks came off Teara's hand, black in color, evil in nature. He heard Kurenai-san gasp quietly, and his chest tightened tenfold. It was impossible to breathe. His shaking was getting worse and he didn't know why. Something was off about this guy. Something wasn't right. The air around him felt dirty and wet and the chakra swirling around Teara's hand seemed to be getting darker and darker in visible color.

"You talk as though you think you stand a chance." The black-haired man replied maliciously, the chakra around his hand fading to jet black.

Saeka's eyes were huge. There was genuine fear in her eyes. Sasuke didn't know what to think. He didn't know what to do. This guy was immensely powerful - he knew just by how terrified Saeka was of him - but the energy he was pulling out of seemingly nowhere felt darker than what Sasuke had felt earlier. It was as though the chakra wrapped around his hand wasn't his, but that didn't make sense...

Abruptly, a stabbing pain erupted in Sasuke's neck, and he flinched, one hand reaching up so he could dig his fingers into the mark on his neck. It didn't help. The pain continued to build, and Sasuke's heart was hammering and hammering and it felt like he was going to have a heart attack. He couldn't breathe past the tension that was building in his neck and throat. He felt sick.

He groaned, sinking to his knees, one hand bracing against the ground to keep him from falling forward, the other digging into his neck as hard as it could. He choked on a breath, and he could faintly hear someone calling his name. Someone talking to him. He hunched further forward, the hand that had been holding him up abandoning its post to join in on pressing on the mark. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. _It hurts. It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts oh my god oh my god it hurts stop stop stop it hurts it hurts I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe I-... breath-... hurts-... please-... stop-..._

He didn't remember letting himself hunch so far forward that his forehead was pressed against the dirt. The stabbing pain in his neck was slowly turning into an awful burning sensation that was spreading down his back, up his neck, down his chest, across his shoulder and sliding along his arm. He could hear voices, and then he felt himself moving, and he had no idea what was going on. All he knew was that his whole body hurt and he couldn't process anything that was happening as it happened.

_**Don't you feel the blood on your hands?** _

He looked down, and sure enough, his hands were splattered with blood. More shouting. Calling his name. Calling someone else's name. Darkness. Brightness. Darkness. Brightness. Darkness. Brightness. Darkness. Brightness. He felt hot and cold at the same time and his shoulder was killing him and he could hardly breathe past the pain and he didn't know where the blood on his hands and shirt had come from and he couldn't breathe he couldn't breathe he couldn't _breathe why is there blood on my hands what's going on is someone calling me I can't breathe I can't breathe where am I what am I doing here what happened I can't breathe_ _ **I can't breathe**_ _..._

_**Calm down. We're alright. We handled it. Don't you remember?** _

He didn't remember at all.

...

When Kaisuki finally opened her eyes again, it was late in the day. She didn't know what day it was, but it was nearing twilight. Another case of severe chakra exhaustion. She needed to stop doing that. It wasn't good for her systems to be bone dry. She needed to figure out how to better manage her chakra when using that full-body transfer technique. She needed to be able to maintain it for more than fifteen to twenty minutes. She needed to be able to maintain for at least forty-five minutes to an hour.

" _Kaisuki..._ " Izumi's voice reached out from somewhere farther back, and Kaisuki blinked. She sounded distressed. Kaisuki spent a moment trying to piece together the tail end of Saeka's fight against Teara, but it was difficult. Once Saeka's temper got the better of her, keeping track of everything amongst the mess of thoughts and emotions and reactions was nearly impossible. It was entirely overwhelming.

" _What is it?_ " She asked, " _Is something wrong?_ "

There was a long silence that followed that, and her stomach twisted into a knot. " _Is it Saeka? Is she alright?_ "

" _No._ " Came Khrai's voice. Her presence was welcome, but the bad news sort of ruined it. " _Actually, I don't have a clue. She's hiding. And she's doing a really fucking good job, because I swear I have looked_ _ **everywhere**_ _, and I can't find her._ "

Kaisuki frowned. Saeka liked to hide when she was upset, but she didn't think either Khrai or Izumi had ever been unable to find her. It wasn't as though Saeka could readily disappear from Kaisuki's body of her own volition, so she supposed she shouldn't make herself crazy about it, but she was still worried. Saeka was extremely emotionally volatile, and sometimes Kaisuki wondered if the girl could become a danger to herself.

She supposed she'd just have to wait. She couldn't force Saeka to come back. All she could do was call out to her, which was exactly what she decided to do. " _Saeka, if you can hear me from wherever you are... I'm a bit worried because Khrai can't find you. I know you're really upset, and I don't know why, but if there's anything I can do for you, please tell me, okay? Be safe._ "

There was no response, and Kaisuki hadn't been expecting one, but she was still disappointed and... sad. Not because Saeka hadn't replied, but because Saeka was hurting and there was nothing she could do about it. She felt completely useless. She was supposed to be helping them, and she wasn't.

She didn't know what else to do.

The door to her room opened and she looked up to see Naruto. Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of him. His eyes were puffy and red - he'd been crying. A lot. His face was pale and he was staring at the floor as he walked into the room. Kaisuki could hear many voices out in the halls, some sounding a little frantic, others crying, a few snarling. The door slid shut again and the blond crossed the room and sat down on the chair beside the bed. She sat upright so she could talk to him more easily, finding it a little difficult. Her whole body was still sore from the chakra exhaustion.

"N... Naruto?" She said hesitantly. He looked up at her, and she could see the shadows under his eyes. He was exhausted. "What's wrong? What..." Her mind briefly supplied Sasuke's face, alongside the memory of him writhing on the ground in pain. "What happened?"

Naruto sniffled, and reached up to wipe his eyes. "Th..." He choked on his words and cleared his throat, before trying again. "The old man... is dead."

Kaisuki's mind blanked out for a long time. The Hokage was dead? Her heart was beating harshly against her chest, stomach knotting up. Was that what that snake freak Orochimaru had been after? The life of the Hokage? She bit her lip, depression finding her as she lowered her gaze to her lap. She had never been particularly close to the Hokage. Not like Naruto had been. Not like a lot of people had been. After the incident with Saeka, she'd done her best to avoid the higher-ups, including the Hokage. He had been the only one to try and eventually succeed in convincing her to return to the path of a shinobi, though, and for that, she was endlessly thankful.

She always would be.

But at the same time, while she felt like she ought to, she couldn't feel the same depth of pain that she was sure most everyone else felt. She couldn't mourn the life of someone she didn't know. It just wasn't something she was capable of. She could comfort her friends, and try to keep them going, but she couldn't mourn with them. She could feel the sadness of the loss, but it wasn't the same kind of sadness. It was a generalized depression caused by the loss of the life of someone she was acquainted with. It was more of a sympathy pain than anything.

Even though she couldn't mourn with them, she could be there for them, though.

"Do you want to sit with me?" She offered Naruto, and he looked up at her from where his gaze had fallen to the floor. She felt hollowed out more than anything. The blond stared at her for a moment, before he nodded slowly, still sniffling. He looked like he would cry again.

She scooted over to make room for him, and he clambered into the bed beside her. She pushed the button on the bed to raise up the head of it, so they'd have something to lean on, and got comfortable. Naruto rested his head on her shoulder, and she reached over and started petting his hair. After a few minutes, her teammate made a distressed sound, and then choked out a sob. Kaisuki wrapped her arm around his shoulder and pulled him over, hugging him tightly, and letting him cry on her shoulder.

"He promised..." the blond was mumbling into the crook of her neck. Kaisuki squeezed him tighter for a second, listening carefully. "He s-said he'd watch me... b-become H-H-Hokage." Naruto wheezed around his sobs, practically hyperventilating as he cried.

Kaisuki didn't know what to say to him, or what she could do for him, aside from what she was already doing. Her eyes stung, but not because the Hokage was dead. Tears were welling in her eyes because her best friend was in insurmountable emotional pain, and there was so little she could do for him, she felt totally useless.

" _You don't always need to make people stop crying,_ " Izumi's voice spoke up quietly. She sounded depressed, her voice a little thick. " _Sometimes, you just need to listen and let them cry. Naruto doesn't have many other people he can go to. Remember that he chose to come to you for a reason._ "

Tears spilled from her eyes at the very thought of it, and she buried her face into Naruto's blond hair, her shoulders trembling as she tried to hold herself together. Her teammate squeezed her a little tighter for a moment, sniffling as his sobs began to slowly cease. They held onto each other for a while longer before Naruto finally shifted, and Kaisuki let him go. The blond looked terrible, and Kaisuki was sure she wasn't in much better shape.

"Naruto," Kaisuki said quietly, picking at her fingernails. She knew it was always a bad idea to make promises like the one she was about to make, but it was a sincere statement. "I obviously can't take the Hokage's place in your life, but... I'll make sure I'm around to see you become Hokage. I promise."

And she meant it with all her heart and soul.

Naruto stared at her, stricken, before a fresh onslaught of tears spilled down his cheeks. He reached up quickly and wiped his eyes, but Kaisuki could tell he was trying to hide his face. She smiled sadly at him, wishing there was more she could offer him in terms of comfort.

Kaisuki lowered her gaze to her hands briefly before she quietly asked, "How is Sasuke? Is he alright?"

Naruto looked up at her and shrugged. "Sort of. He got beat up really bad by Gaara, but he's alive. They're both alive. Gaara's in bad shape though, but they said he'd recover. Sasuke put a kunai into his chest."

Kaisuki's eyes widened in shock, "Last I saw him, he was..."

The blond nodded, "Yea, I know. He was like that for a while, too, but then, after that Teara guy left, he just got up and went after Gaara like a bloodthirsty maniac." Naruto shuddered at the memory. "It was kind of scary. He kept taking really heavy hits and he just wouldn't stop. Now he's in pretty bad shape... idiot that he is."

She nodded slowly, genuinely concerned. Sasuke had been blacking out and otherwise acting strange since he'd received that mark from Orochimaru. It seemed like it was affecting his chakra somehow, but she didn't know why or how. There had to be something they could do to counteract it. There _had_ to be. She'd talk to Kakashi-sensei about it later. Maybe he'd have some insight into what they could do.

"Are you going to be leaving here today?" Naruto asked, his voice quieter. Kaisuki looked up at him briefly, noting the hope in his blue eyes, and nodded. He managed to smile, and it was a truly pathetic look that made her heart hurt. She wished she could do more for him.

"I feel fine now, so there's no reason for me to stay." She replied. Then, wondering if there was a specific point to his question, she asked, "Do you want to do something after I'm out of here?"

The blond nodded vigorously. "I was thinking we could go get dinner at Ichiraku's, and then maybe... we could have a slumber party, like we used to."

Kaisuki blinked, a little surprised by the suggestion of a slumber party, but she nodded and smiled at him. They hadn't spent the night together since they were about eight, and she did rather miss the simpler things of childhood.

"Sure, that sounds nice." Was the answer she gave, and he smiled again, this time more genuinely. The expression was a sight for sore eyes, that was for sure. She was sure he'd cry more, and she was sure he was still in a lot of pain, but if she could pull him out of his reverie of depression every now and then, she would. She didn't want him to be consumed by it.

There wasn't a whole lot she could do for him, or anyone, really. But sometimes it was the little things, like having dinner and a slumber party with a friend to cheer him up. Sometimes, that was enough. Maybe all it ever took was the little things like that to make people feel better. She supposed she didn't really have to be a martyr. She could just be herself. She could just be empathetic, and honest, and compassionate, and kind.

She thought of Khrai, and Izumi, and Saeka. Maybe that really _was_ all it took.

...

With Naruto and Kaisuki gone to train and travel for a while with Jiraiya of the Sannin (who had basically shown up at his front door to let him know before leaving seconds later), and Sasuke still recovering from his battle against Gaara, life was quiet. Kakashi could read his book and laze around most of the time. Sasuke had demanded that they work more on Chidori when he was back in commission, and Kakashi had promised he would. Sasuke had been instructed not to do anything more strenuous than walking for at least two weeks, and the Uchiha had one more left to go. It wasn't a very long time, obviously, but Kakashi was still appreciative of the break from his two most difficult teammates.

He glanced up at the clock on his wall and stood up. He was supposed to be helping Sakura train today. She needed a lot of work on her taijutsu. Her ability to use ninjutsu and genjutsu was unrivaled by any of her peers, but she was terrible at close-range combat. She seemed determined not to fall behind her teammates since the fiasco in the Forest of Death, and Kakashi was actually quite proud of her for it.

She had a lot of potential. She just needed guidance. So, he left his apartment, locking the door behind him, and started his walk to the twelfth training grounds. He was late, as usual, but he couldn't be blamed. The book he was reading was excellent, and it was easy for him to lose track of time when he was engrossed in it.

Well, he supposed he _could_ be blamed for not setting an alarm or something.

He strolled down the streets of Konohagakure, glancing into shops as he passed them. Every single shop, house, and restaurant had a black cloth tied somewhere on the store front, a sign of mourning for the late Hokage. Kakashi tore his gaze away from them, sighing. It'd been two weeks since Sarutobi had been killed by Orochimaru. Many didn't know that it was Orochimaru who had done the deed, but all of the higher-ups, the jounin, and most of the chuunin knew. A few of the genin had been told by their jounin instructors - including Team 7 - though most of those kids didn't know who Orochimaru even was.

Team 7 was not in that boat. When he'd told his team about it, they had reacted as he would've expected them to, now that he had heard the full story about the incident in the Forest of Death. Sasuke's face had turned the color of sour milk, Naruto had been furious, Sakura had been horrified, and Kaisuki had developed a sudden migraine and had been forced to lay down for the rest of the afternoon. Supposedly, Saeka knew Orochimaru, though no one knew her exact connection to him, and she didn't want to tell anyone about it.

Kakashi glanced into a small eatery that sold sweets, his gaze falling on a duo wearing cloaks and straw hats that completely concealed their faces. He almost stopped in his tracks to inquire as to who they were. Something told him they weren't there for the dango, but that was all he could get out of it. He wished he could've been able to see their faces, so he could identify whether or not they needed to be detained. They had an air around them that suggested they might be criminals, but he didn't know.

He started when he heard a loud cawing, and glanced up at the source of the noise. Sitting on the fence of a balcony above the eatery was probably one of the biggest crows Kakashi had ever seen. He paused in his steps, staring at it for a long moment. It was looking right at him. He frowned at the bird, even as it abruptly took flight and flew away, cawing loudly as it went.

Kakashi glanced back into the eatery, for reasons unknown to even himself. The two sketchy-looking people were gone. Something about that crow was making him extremely uneasy. He felt like he'd seen it somewhere before, but he didn't know where, or when, or anything along those lines.

He resumed his pace, lost in thought for only a few moments before he heard his name. He looked up, spotting Sasuke walking towards him. He looked troubled. That already seemed like bad news. Sasuke didn't usually go to him for much of anything, especially since he'd found out about the scratching. It seemed like an invisible barrier had gone up, and the kid didn't seem to trust him as much anymore.

"Nice to see you out and about." He greeted, and Sasuke nodded. "What's up?"

"Nothing..." There was a loud cawing, cutting Sasuke off and startling him enough to make him flinch violently. The crow was back. Something in Kakashi's head was pointing fingers in a direction, and he wasn't sure why, or what direction it was pointing in.

The Uchiha was stiff as a board, looking over his shoulder and finding the crow sitting atop a pole, staring down at the two of them. Kakashi watched the color leech out of his face, watched him take a half-step back, closer to his jounin instructor.

"Are you okay?" He asked, concerned. Was he being tailed, or something? For a moment, Kakashi thought perhaps he should look around for evidence of danger, but then he stopped. Sasuke's reaction was specifically directed towards that crow. Something was off. Something was _really_ off.

"I..." Sasuke mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't like crows."

Kakashi could see that the kid was terrified, but he wasn't sure where it had come from. Since when was Sasuke afraid of crows? They weren't particularly threatening, though Kakashi supposed things like moths and spiders weren't usually very threatening either (unless used by the Aburame clan). Phobias didn't always make sense.

The crow tilted its head to the side, still staring at them with its small, dark eyes. It cawed and Sasuke flinched again, though he glared at the bird at the same time. "I... I have to go. I'll see you around." He said quickly after turning his divided attention back to his instructor. He turned and walked around Kakashi, likely heading in the direction of his apartment. The jounin turned to look over his shoulder, watching the kid as he retreated away, his arms crossed tightly and his head bowed.

His one open and visible eye widened a fraction as he realized who he'd been thinking of. When he looked back to the crow, it was gone. He knew he had seen it before. He knew his bad feeling wasn't just paranoia. He should've walked into that eatery and confronted those two people.

Uchiha Itachi had always kept a crow as his messenger bird. Most other ninja used owls or hawks, because they were easier to train. But the prodigy had managed to train a wild crow that he'd found injured in his back yard when he'd been eight, and it had always been able to find whoever he needed it to since then. It had become one of the best tracking birds in Konohagakure, and it would only answer to Itachi.

Were one of those two sketchy people in that eatery the notorious Uchiha Itachi? He looked towards where Sasuke had been walking, immediately worrying about the kid. Would Itachi go after him? Why was he in town _now_ , after having been gone for almost five years?

Forgetting what he had been originally planning to do, he turned and started walking. He'd make sure Sasuke got home safely, and then he'd prowl the village and look for two sketchy people wearing black cloaks. He'd track down Gai, Kurenai, and Asuma as well. He was a jounin, yes, and he'd been in ANBU for a number of years, yes, but Itachi had joined in ANBU's Black Ops when he was ten, and he'd activated his Sharingan when he was eight. He was a prodigy unlike any the world had seen in a _long_ time.

Kakashi was probably no match for him alone, in all honesty. It was possible that the four jounin instructors would be no match for him, especially if he was traveling with someone equally dangerous. He couldn't really imagine the Uchiha traveling with anyone of much lesser standing than himself.

He hoped he was completely wrong. He hoped that those cloaked people turned out to just be some punks that he could take on with his eyes closed, though he highly doubted that would be the case.

More than anything else, though, he hoped that Sasuke would be safe.


	13. reunion

" _I didn't realize it was possible for you guys to hide that thoroughly._ " Kaisuki thought quietly. Khrai, who had gone looking for Saeka for what seemed like the hundredth time, had just returned from another one of her excursions empty-handed. It had been a two weeks since the fiasco at the main matches of the Chuunin Exams, and Saeka had yet to return to Kaisuki's senses. She could usually feel all three of her spirits within automatically. It was simply a sense, sort of like feeling one's own heart beat.

It had been two weeks, and Izumi, Khrai, and Kaisuki had seen neither hide nor hair of Saeka. The youngest of the spirits had hidden, and she had done a ridiculously good job of it. Kaisuki couldn't feel her, and none of them could find her.

" _It's not easy_ ," Khrai answered, " _I can do it because I know how. Saeka hasn't been dead nearly long enough to have perfected that trick to this extent._ "

Kaisuki sighed, depressed. " _Saeka always had a knack for doing things perfectly on instinct. She didn't know how to do that full body transfer until recently,_ " she stated, " _And yet she managed to make the complete transition that time when I was five._ "

Izumi hummed in agreement, " _If she doesn't want to be found this badly, we won't find her. It would be best if we just left it alone. She'll come back when she's ready._ "

The Yurei frowned unhappily, picking out a few cups of instant noodles for Naruto, before heading to the checkout counter. " _I just... I wish she'd just tell me she was okay._ "

" _Well, we know she's okay._ " Khrai reassured. Khrai and Izumi had been significantly less worried than Kaisuki all along. The Tsubaki didn't know why she couldn't get her nerves to unravel from where they'd been bunched up after her encounter with Teara, and Saeka's level of fear towards him. " _She wasn't seriously injured, and she isn't trapped in a genjutsu. She's hiding because she's upset. She does it all the fucking time, remember?_ "

" _Yea, but I can usually still feel her presence._ " Kaisuki mumbled in return. Listening to herself, she was beginning to feel sort of like a brat. Khrai heaved an impatient sigh.

" _This is also the first time she's encountered that Teara guy since she died two years ago. She had the shit scared out of her, Kaisuki. She needs to recuperate._ " Khrai said firmly. " _Get the fuck over it. She'll be back._ "

Kaisuki internally hummed in affirmation, still feeling a little down and out. She understood that Saeka thought that if she lost her temper or got excessively upset around Kaisuki, her hostess would stop liking her. And the Yurei had made a point to reiterate several times that that was not the case, but it seemed like every time she said it, it went over Saeka's head. What did she have to do to get the girl to understand that she didn't need to hide her emotions, and that it was alright to snap at any of them when she was unhappy about something?

She handed the cashier the money for the groceries, and left the store, offering a halfhearted farewell to the older fellow. Naruto and Kaisuki had been sent back to the hotel room when Jiraiya-san had spotted a very beautiful brunette and - evidently - decided to attempt a conquest. He had sent his charges back ahead of him, and, after Naruto had fallen asleep from sheer boredom, she had decided to go out and buy something for them to have for lunch.

Kaisuki had sort of been spoiling him to offer her thanks for him saving her life from Teara. She had run out of chakra in the middle of Saeka's battle against the blue-eyed man, and if it hadn't been for Naruto's _very_ quick thinking, he would've killed her in some unsightly way.

She always spoiled the blond for a while after he saved her life. She'd treated him to Ichiraku's five times in a row after they'd gotten back from their mission in Nami no Kuni, and she'd treated him ten times after an incident when he'd talked Saeka down from one of her fits - one that had almost persuaded a large portion of the jounin in Konohagakure to appeal for Kaisuki to be executed for the safety of the village.

Kaisuki dodged and weaved through the foot traffic in the small city. They were tracking Tsunade-san, another one of the Sannin. Jiraiya-san had heard from some unknown source recently that Tsunade-san had been through the place. It was a nice little place, full of lively people and interesting bits of culture that seemed to be exclusive to the city. It was an artisan's dreamland, really, with small bands, and solo musicians, arts and crafts shops everywhere, and specialty artistic services on every block. Kaisuki had grown to quite like the place since they'd arrived a few days ago from a tiny hamlet just south of Konohagakure.

She didn't know why they were tracking down Tsunade-san. She had a tiny bit of a gut feeling she _might_ know why, but she couldn't say for sure. Jiraiya-san had told Naruto that his old teammate owed him a favor, and he was calling it in, but that had been as forthcoming as he'd been. The blond, of course, had been perfectly willing to accept that reasoning, despite not being told what the white-haired Sannin was going to request of his teammate.

Kaisuki turned down an alleyway to cut to the next street over, ignoring the three sketchy guys standing against the wall of the narrow alley. If they tried anything, they were going to have a few broken fingers, to say the least. She walked past them, and she heard one of them whisper something to another, but they didn't try to follow her. That was good. She didn't _really_ feel like breaking hands today.

She had just crossed the threshold to the other side of the way when her stomach abruptly twisted into a knot. She slowed to a stop, hand seeking out the nearest wall as her heart rate suddenly spiked. Dark spots were beginning to show up in her visual field, and she felt incredibly nauseous. She swallowed several times, trying to quell the urge to vomit.

" _Kaisuki, are you okay?_ " Izumi's voice cut into her racing thoughts. She tried to conjure a reply, but she couldn't get any words out. Then, all at once, a tsunami of emotions that weren't hers slammed into her. Fear, anger, and disbelief were just a couple that she felt most strongly. Her mind was racing with thoughts that didn't belong to her, and she was losing track of her surroundings.

Her vision abruptly went dark, the sensation of being violently wrenched out of her own body jarring her. She couldn't tell if she was moving or if she was still standing where she'd been. She didn't know what was going on.

" _Kaisuki?_!" Izumi's calls echoed in the distance, and Kaisuki searched for her in the complete darkness. She still couldn't find her words. " _Kaisuki, where did you go?_!"

Then, with startling suddenness, she was back in control of herself. Her eyes widened when she realized that she was _in motion_ , and she quickly brought her legs forward to catch herself. She wound up having to tuck and roll, surprised by her own momentum. She rolled back up onto her feet and looked around, bewildered. Where was she?

Kaisuki walked over to the edge of the building she had apparently leaped onto, peering over the edge and trying to figure out what storefronts were around. " _Izumi? Khrai? Where are we?_ "

Khrai didn't answer at all, but Izumi spoke up immediately, " _I don't know. Everything went dark for a minute, there._ "

" _Yea, same for me_." She replied, spotting a familiar store. She was three blocks towards the hotel room where Naruto was waiting for her. Why had she been heading there? Who had taken over? Where was Khrai? She still couldn't feel Saeka, so it couldn't have been her, right?

She took several steps away from the edge of the building, taking a moment to try and actively seek out Saeka's presence. Maybe it _had_ been the black-haired girl. She poked around within herself, looking for any sign of the girl, but there was nothing. Just as she was beginning to give up, a renewed surged of panic shot through her, and everything went dark again.

This time, though, it was different. It was like the times in the past when Saeka had possessed her in a fit of rage and attempted to kill Sasuke or Kakashi-sensei. The same feeling of dread, the same burst of emotions that weren't hers. Thoughts that didn't belong to her flew through her mind, too fast to catch. She could hear things occasionally, but she couldn't make any sense of it. She looked around the darkness again, feeling heat building all around her.

Her heart was hammering away in her throat as she called out through the darkness, " _Saeka? Is that you? What's going on?_ " But there was no reply. Where was Khrai? Izumi had also fallen distressingly quiet, and the Yurei just didn't know what was going on.

_**He's going to kill him.** _

The thought came to her, but she could feel that it wasn't her own. She didn't know who's it was. It sounded like her own voice, but it wasn't her thought. She didn't even know who the thought was about, but she could feel the urgency, the fear in that voice that was her's, but also wasn't. Someone was in danger. She was beginning to feel the first vestiges of her own panic as she looked around frantically, searching for an answer, for anything at all.

" _Kaisuki, where did you go?_!"

_"Maybe next time."_

It was starkly familiar from a painfully vivid memory, but she didn't know why she was hearing it. Even so, Itachi's voice seemed to ring through the emptiness around her, igniting a powerful hatred that wasn't her own. It burned strongly alongside the hammering of fear in her chest. A jarring feeling of protectiveness pushed up around the terror and the anger, guilt coming with it.

_**Why am I doing this for him?** _

The temperature around her was continuing to rise, even though it had long since surpassed what felt like the melting point. Her body was tingling, she was overheating, and it felt like her skin was on fire and her insides were burning up. The strength of the emotions and the speed of the thoughts and the overwhelming heat were making it impossible to think straight. The inside of her skull was beginning to pound with a debilitating headache, and spots were appearing in her vision.

"-... so soon."

_"Do you think Sasu...?"_

_**I don't know what you're up to, but stay away from him. Stay away from both of them.** _

A sharp, stabbing pain erupted in her bicep, and she grabbed at it, eyes widening and watering. When she looked down at it and moved her hand away, she could see a wide gash carved into her arm, bleeding freely. She had taken an injury? How? What was going on out there?

She could faintly hear voices, some from memories, and some that were foreign to her. The conversation was impossible to understand. Too many overlapping voices. To many racing thoughts that weren't her's. Too much going on for her to possibly follow.

"You just..."

_"... for over an hour..."_

_**I'll** _ _ **kill** _ _**you.** _

" _I guess we found Saeka._ " The dry, echoing remark from Khrai was the last thing Kaisuki heard before she completely lost hold of herself and sank away into the deepest, darkest plarts of her inner landscape.

...

For a moment, he could only stare. He didn't really know what he'd been expecting, what with Sasuke rather foolishly rushing at the prodigious Uchiha Itachi, as though he thought he would be able to do _anything_ with a head-on attack like that. Normally, Sasuke was the one hiding and planning and thinking of a strategy, so to see him worked up enough to completely abandon all logical thought was... disturbing, frightening, and worrisome, to say the least.

As it was, the attack Sasuke had attempted to kill his brother with (Chidori, which Naruto had recognized immediately, thanks to being a teammate of Kakashi-sensei's) had been easily deflected. Now, Itachi had caught his younger brother's wrist in an iron grasp, and Naruto could see that he was cutting off circulation to Sasuke's hand with the sheer strength of his grip.

He needed to do something. Itachi's partner - who had yet to be introduced to Naruto - had an equally strong grip on his shoulder, large fingers digging into the joint. A threat of dislocation, if he had to guess. It didn't really matter though, Naruto would be willing to take an injury as superficial as that if it meant getting Sasuke (and, if possible, himself) out of their current predicament.

"Let go of me, you oversized fish!" Naruto snarled, trying to pry the huge man's hand off his shoulder. The man's hold on him only tightened, and a second later, he'd been slammed into the wall with enough force to crack the wood. His breath left him in a gasp, but he refused to let up.

"Hey, kid," the man addressed. "If you don't stop squirming, I'm really gonna cut off your arms and legs."

Naruto paused, stiffening. He looked up at the man and glared at him murderously. He'd already lost the Kyuubi's chakra to the bastard's weird weapon, and in the same breath, he'd lost a considerable amount of his own chakra. With his strength so sapped, there really wasn't much he _could_ do, aside from squirming and yelling at them.

"Let go of him!" Sasuke abruptly snarled, and when Naruto looked over at him, he could see that he was charging another Chidori in his other hand. Sasuke could only charge that twice in a day. He was going to use up too much chakra, and then he wasn't going to be able to do _anything_. He wasn't thinking straight at all. He wasn't using his head. He ought to draw a kunai and aim to stab Itachi in the wrist, not try to land a finishing blow to his relatively out-of-reach chest.

If Sasuke wasn't going to use his head, Naruto was going to have to do it for him. He opened his mouth to yell at his teammate, but he didn't get a chance to speak. Itachi, who had disinterestedly turned his attention away from Sasuke, slowly shifted his gaze back to his brother, his expression completely still.

For a moment, Naruto thought Itachi was just going to kill Sasuke right there, and his heart rate skyrocketed, panic surging through him and stealing his words from him.

"You're annoying, Sasuke." Was all the older Uchiha said before he jerked his hand and sent a crack like a gunshot through the air. Sasuke's eyes widened, his face draining of color, and a split second after his wrist had been broken, he cried out loudly in pain, the sound quickly shifting into a strained scream. Naruto could practically hear his teammates throat closing as he dropped to his knees, cradling his arm to his chest and hunching over in an instinctive need to protect the fresh injury.

For just a moment, Itachi stared down at Sasuke's slightly trembling form, as though waiting to see if he was going to attempt to get back up. But after that moment passed, he returned his attention to Naruto and his partner.

"So, _can_ I cut his legs off?" The larger man asked, sounding only slightly impatient. "He's been a real bother so far. I expect he'll only get worse."

Naruto tensed, staring at Itachi, unable to control the fear that very nearly paralyzed him. Itachi looked directly at him, eyes void of emotion, and didn't say anything at first. The silence was thick enough to cut with a kunai.

Then, Itachi finally stated, with complete and utter calmness, "You can sever the tendons in his ankles."

Itachi's partner snorted, "I think I can live with that."

"Don't... you dare..."

He looked to where Sasuke had been, only to find that he was standing up, using one hand to brace himself against the wall while his broken arm hung useless at his side. He was breathing heavily, his face the color of sour milk, and his teeth clenched.

"If you hurt him... I swear... I will _rip you apart_." The younger Uchiha ground out, glaring all the hate in his being at his brother. Itachi slowly turned around, and Naruto didn't miss the highly impatient glint in his eyes.

Then, with speed so fast that Naruto barely caught the movement, he buried his fist into Sasuke's gut and sent him flying down the hall, where he slammed into a wall _hard_ , before sliding to the ground.

 _Oh no, no, no, he_ _ **just**_ _had a ton of surgery there._ Naruto thought frantically, _the wounds will reopen, oh no, oh no... I need to do something. I_ _ **have**_ _to do_ _ **something**_ _._

He watched as Itachi started down the hall, where Sasuke was slowly standing up again, even as he was spitting up mouthful after mouthful of blood. That blow had to have reopened his internal injuries. He would die if Itachi hit him hard enough to make the wounds bigger than they already were.

Naruto swore loudly, turning his attention back to the large man still easily holding him against the wall. He pulled a kunai out of the kunai pouch attached to the back of his belt and attempted to jam it into the fish guy's arm to force him to let go. He didn't know why he'd thought that maybe it would succeed. Sometimes, he really was just an idiot.

The man caught his wrist easily, digging his fingers into Naruto's shoulder ever harder, pushing the joint apart slowly. The blond cried out in pain, kicking out with his legs uselessly. His eyes were watering from a mixture of pain and impossible frustration. Where was Kaisuki? Where was Ero-sennin? That stupid old Sannin was going to be too late to save _anyone_ if he didn't hurry up with his stupid conquest.

_Where_ _**is** _ _Kaisuki, though?_

His eyes were welled with tears, and he blinked them away angrily, gritting his teeth. The man pinning him wasn't even looking at him. He was looking down the hall, where Itachi and Sasuke were, a highly amused look on his face, even as he continued to dig his fingers into Naruto's shoulder and squeezed his wrist until the blond thought it might break.

Naruto looked down the hall, his heart hammering. Sasuke was trying to get up again. His nose was bleeding, and there was more of the red stuff still spilling past his lips with every gasp and cough. Naruto could see the tremors wracking his body. He had to be in absolute agony. Why wouldn't he just stay down? Sometimes, he had to wonder who the _real_ idiot on their team was.

Itachi stooped down and grabbed Sasuke by the collar of his shirt, easily picking him up off the ground and slamming him into the wall. Naruto watched, helpless, as the older Uchiha switched his grip to his brother's throat and squeezed, restricting Sasuke's airways. His teammate immediately reached up with his uninjured hand and started trying to pry Itachi's fingers off his throat, his expression pained.

That wasn't good. If Sasuke needed to spit up any more blood, he was going to choke on it. Was Itachi actually intending to kill him? Panic surged through Naruto again, but he couldn't do anything. He couldn't move. He couldn't get away from his man. He'd lost access to both his arms. He couldn't even try to throw a kunai or twelve at Itachi's back. There was _nothing_ he could do.

Was he going to have to watch Sasuke die again?

"You're pathetic." He heard Itachi say icily. "What was the point of coming here if you're still as weak as you were then?"

Itachi's grip tightened, cutting of Sasuke's airways entirely. The younger Uchiha, clawed at his arm, lips parting as he tried to take in a breath, eyes wide and filled with hate and fear. Naruto heard Itachi's voice again, but he couldn't make out his actual words, and only a moment later, Sasuke's eyes widened even further, his pupils dilating. A spasm wracked his entire body, his mouth opening and tears filling his eyes.

The older Uchiha dropped Sasuke unceremoniously to the floor, and Naruto could hear him wheezing and gasping. He was staring straight ahead at absolutely nothing, listing to the left until he collapsed onto his side, twitching and trembling.

Abruptly, the man who had been pinning Naruto to the wall wrenched his hand back, releasing his hold on the blond, as the familiar sound of blood hitting the floor reached him. Before he could process what exactly had just happened, someone grabbed his bicep and wrenched him away from the huge man. He stumbled and almost fell, but managed to catch himself on the wall.

He looked up to see Ero-sennin, the Sannin he'd been waiting on the whole time. Naruto had never seen him look so serious. There were no jokes, there was no sign of his usual humor, and not so much as a trace of a smile on his face. It was unsettling to see him like that, but to Naruto, it highlighted how dangerous a situation they were in. He could see the Sannin's eyes darting from the man who had been pinning him, to Itachi, and finally resting on Sasuke.

"Oh-ho, Itachi-san, we have company." The larger man said, smirking. He reached over his shoulder and gripped the handle of his huge, strange weapon. The same one that had stolen his and the Kyuubi's chakra. He swallowed hard, unsure of what exactly he ought to do. He wouldn't go anywhere without Sasuke. As it was, Itachi could easily pick the younger Uchiha up and threaten his life to get whatever it was they were after.

_They're after me. Duh._

"Naruto, don't move from this spot." Ero-sennin commanded lowly, and Naruto could only nod mutely in reply. His heart was hammering in his throat. Sure, the white-haired man standing beside him was one of the Sannin, but would he really be able to take on the notorious Uchiha Itachi and his equally dangerous-looking partner?

Before either Ero-sennin or the large fish guy could make a move in either direction, Itachi called from down the hall. "Kisame." The icy undertone had gone from his voice, and he looked fairly disinterested, though Naruto couldn't help but notice that he looked a few shades paler than he'd been moments ago.

Kisame, as he was apparently called, dropped his hand from where it had been wrapped around the hilt of his weapon and turned to look to his partner. The Uchiha's eyes fell on Naruto once again, and the blond stiffened slightly, but didn't move.

"We're leaving." He stated, and Kisame stared at him for a long moment, looking almost hesitant, but Itachi reiterated his statement firmly. "Now."

The blue-haired man sighed, shaking his head and still smiling, "Yea, yea, alright." He said, turning his back to both Naruto and Ero-sennin, and heading down the hall towards Itachi. They turned around the corner together, neither sparing Sasuke a second glance, though Naruto was sure he heard his teammate's name come out of Kisame's mouth.

Naruto waited ten seconds after they had disappeared around the corner before he took off at a dead sprint, going to his knees and skidding to a stop in front of Sasuke. He shook the Uchiha's shoulder as gingerly as he could stand (which was probably still too hard), but Sasuke didn't respond at all. His eyes were glazed over and sightless, his pupils dilated hugely, blood still dripping slowly out of the corner of his mouth. There were bruises forming around his throat already.

"W-what's wrong with him?" He asked, unable to hold back the tremor in his voice. That had to have been one of the worst scares he'd had in his life thus far. He looked over at Ero-sennin as the older man crouched down beside him, giving Sasuke a brief once-over.

"It looks like he got the same treatment Kakashi got," he muttered quietly, and Naruto froze momentarily, before looking up at his mentor with wide eyes.

"What do you mean, the same as Kakashi-sensei?" He questioned, "Is Kakashi-sensei in the same condition...?"

Ero-sennin looked over at him, his gaze still serious. "Yes. He's at the hospital right now. He won't wake up."

"He won't..." Naruto stopped mid-sentence, the direness of the situation hitting him like a ton of bricks. Kakashi-sensei _wouldn't wake up_ , and now Sasuke was in the same state. There had to be something they could do. There had to be some miracle cure, or some irou-nin, or some _something_ that they could do or get or find that would wake them up.

"Naruto," he jumped at the sound of an almost unfamiliar voice, looking up in surprise.

"Kaisu-..." Naruto stopped himself when he took in the condition Kaisuki was in. There were huge gashes on her arms, another, even larger one marring her side, just above her hip. Her lip was busted and there was a ring of bruising around her throat.

And her eyes were green.

He swallowed hard, "Izumi?" He said uncertainly, and the irou-nin nodded. She looked distressed, and Naruto was afraid to ask why. "What... happened?" He wanted to know, but she shook her head and walked over to them silently, kneeling on the blond's other side and giving Sasuke her own check-up.

"Where's Kaisuki?" Ero-sennin wanted to know. She bowed her head slightly, and Naruto's stomach dropped like a rock. Something had happened to Kaisuki, as well? Had Itachi gotten her too? What were they going to do about it? Was there anything they _could_ do?

"I don't know," Izumi finally confessed, her voice quiet. "Saeka, as you know, had been missing for a couple of weeks. Today, she came back suddenly and took over, and I gather she was in a fight, but I don't know who she was battling because she wouldn't let us see. And... we haven't heard or seen Kaisuki since Saeka took over, and now _she's_ disappeared as well too. It's... It's just me and Khrai right now."

Naruto's eyes widened as he listened to her story, his reaction likely written all over his face. Kaisuki had disappeared? How was that even possible? She'd been pitched to the back by Saeka before, but she always returned immediately afterwards. How far back had she been thrown, to have completely disappeared from Khrai and Izumi's awareness?

"Is there any way to bring her back?" Naruto asked, unable to hide the anxiety in his voice.

Izumi glanced at him briefly before returning her attention to Sasuke. It looked like she was healing the internal damage. That was a relief, at least. "Khrai and I are going to take turns searching for the two of them. I don't know how long it'll be before we can find them, though."

His face fell, and he looked at the floor, depressed. It seemed like everything that could possibly go wrong was going wrong this particular afternoon. He turned to Ero-sennin, swallowing hard before he spoke, "What are we going to do about Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei?" He asked, expecting to hear more bad news.

"We do what we've been doing," he stated confidently. "Tsunade is the best irou-nin in the Shinobi Nations, and she's got plenty of experience dealing with the victims of the Sharingan. The Uchiha clan's only been gone for four years, after all, and we're over fifty. You can do the math yourself."

Naruto's eyes widened, and for a moment he thought he might cry. "So... they'll be okay?"

His mentor nodded, "They'll be fine. We just have to find Tsunade."

The blond took in a shuddering breath, looking back to Sasuke, "What are we going to do about him?"

"Khrai can carry him back to Konohagakure." Izumi supplied before Ero-sennin could. Naruto nodded, eying the wounds scattered across Kaisuki's arms, settling for a long moment on the huge gash on her side. It wasn't bleeding, but it looked really bad.

"Don't worry about it," Izumi answered his unasked question without even looking at him, "I'll take care of them when I have the time."

She pulled her hands back from where they'd been hovering over Sasuke, settling them in her lap instead. Her eyes slowly closed, and there was a palpable shift in the air around them. When she opened her eyes again, they were a bright shade of blue, and that was all Naruto needed to see to know that it was Khrai.

"Hey, Khrai," he greeted, and she looked up at him from where she'd been staring at Sasuke. Her expression, which was set in a scowl as usual, softened somewhat as she scrutinized him.

"You're not hurt?" She asked, and Naruto blinked. Was _he_ hurt? He wasn't sure how relevant that was, all things considered. But Khrai seemed to like him a lot, so he supposed it sort of made sense for her to inquire after his wellbeing after all the fun he'd just had.

"I'm alright," he reassured her. "I'm gonna have killer bruises, but they'll be gone by tomorrow."

Khrai let out a breath of halfhearted laughter, "I bet." She sighed heavily, "Well, I guess I should probably get a move on, huh?"

Ero-sennin hummed in agreement. "His wrist is still broken. Try not to make it worse while you're traveling." Then, he added, "Thank you for taking him back for us."

Khrai nodded, despite the darkening of her scowl as she basically glowered at the Sannin, "Yea, no problem." She said rather coldly. The Sannin she spoke to blinked, looking moderately bewildered by her sudden change of attitude.

Despite her evident dislike of the white-haired Sannin, Khrai let him help her maneuver Sasuke onto her back, while Naruto stood on the sidelines and watched. He felt useless. Helpless. He'd been unable to do _anything_ while Sasuke was being essentially tortured by his brother. He hadn't been able to so much as throw a useful kunai. He hadn't done _anything_. If his white-haired mentor hadn't shown up when he had, Naruto didn't have a clue what would've happened. The blond might've been taken off somewhere for whatever reason, and Sasuke might've been killed or something.

_I'm so_ _**weak.** _

He looked up when he heard his name, finding Khrai watching him again. There was a long pause before she spoke, "If you feel weak, get stronger. There's no point in moping about how fucking useless you are. Get your shit together so that next time you see them, you can tear them to shreds."

He stared at her, unable to formulate a reply. Finally, he simply nodded, taking in a shaky breath. "Yea," he agreed quietly. "I'll get stronger. Much, much stronger."

Khrai didn't smile. She didn't look particularly approving, nor did she offer any words of support or encouragement. She just nodded at him, and then at Ero-sennin. "I'll see you when you get back. Don't you dare come home empty-fucking-handed."

Ero-sennin smiled, though the expression was a little strained. "Wouldn't dream of it."

Khrai turned away without another word, heading down the stairs at the edge of the hall, in the same direction Itachi and Kisame had gone. Naruto stared after her. He had never felt so anxious in his life. He really hoped they'd be able to find Tsunade-san quickly. He didn't know how hard she'd be to find. He didn't even want to think about the consequences of them not being able to find her at all.

 _We'll find her,_ he told himself over and over and over. _We'll definitely find her._

...

At first, she didn't know where she was.

Her hands were smaller. Her whole body was smaller, actually. She looked up and around, confused and trying to figure out where she was. She was wearing a kimono that had been stained with red from cherry-flavored shaved iced, and there were people all around. She was standing on the edge of the road, and people dressed up as dragons and phoenixes and demons and angels were dancing down the street with lights and colors and songs.

The Spring Festival, just before she'd turned five.

Kaisuki didn't know why she had returned here, of all places. A hand touched her shoulder and she looked up in time to see Itachi crouching down beside her.

"Kaisuki, have you seen Sasuke?" He asked, sounding extremely worried. Kaisuki stared at him for a long time, emotions swirling within her like a tempest. But her four year-old self wasn't thinking of that. She looked around herself again, searching for the familiar mess of black hair, but she didn't see him.

"No," she replied after she'd finished looking around. "He didn't tell me he was leaving."

Itachi nodded, his brow creasing with concern, his eyes betraying his anxiety. How had this nine year-old boy - who had _adored_ his little brother - become so cold and heartless? How could he have changed so much in just four years? He used to think the sun rose and set on Sasuke, and he would've _died_ for him.

Itachi stood up, offering her a hand, which she took, forgetting that her hands were sticky from the shaved ice. But Itachi didn't mention it, just tugged her along. She watched him as they walked along for a moment, while he searched for Sasuke, and it wasn't long before she was seeking her best friend out as well. They walked along for a while, but Sasuke was nowhere in sight.

Itachi paused long enough to pick her up, which allowed him to move faster. She could tell that he was nearing the point of desperation.

"Ah, Itachi! Kaisuki!" She heard a familiar voice calling, and it only took her a moment to spot her mother and father. Itachi strode up to them hastily, allowing Kaisuki's mom to take her away from him. "Is something wrong?" Her mom asked upon seeing Itachi's stricken expression.

"Sasuke's missing," Itachi quickly explained. "He has been for over an hour. I need to go find him. I'm sorry, I know you wanted me to look after her..."

Mom's eyes widened, concern immediately showing on her face. She turned to her husband, Kaisuki's dad, and said, "Help him look, would you? I'll take Kaisuki home and put her to bed."

"No!" Kaisuki immediately cut in, "I want to help look for Sasuke!"

" _-suki...?_ "

"Honey," Mom started to say, but her dad let out an exasperated sigh and ruffled her hair.

"It won't hurt for her to help, Ren." He told her, "You can take her with you. I'm sure she'll get tuckered out on her own. If you try to put her to bed now, she'll just sneak out to go hunt him down anyway."

Mom nodded, frowning, but resignedly replied, "Alright. Let's go find Sasuke, Kaisuki." She looked around briefly before nodding to dad and Itachi, and started off across the street, cutting through the parade.

After an hour of searching while the festival sung around them, Kaisuki began to feel real anxiety about Sasuke's whereabouts, despite her increasing fatigue. She couldn't hold her head up any longer, but she couldn't stop thinking about Sasuke. Where had he gone? Where _could_ he have gone? Why hadn't he stuck with Itachi and Kaisuki? Why had he wandered off? He was such a thoughtless idiot sometimes. He'd probably gone off to that lake to see the fireworks...

" _Kaisuki? Where are you?_ "

"Ah!" Kaisuki suddenly cried out in the middle of a conversation between mom and Itachi, pushing herself off her mom's shoulder with a rush of adrenaline. They both looked at her, confused, and she quickly told them, "Did you check the lake? Sasuke wanted to see the fireworks from the lake. He's been talking about it for _weeks_. I'm sorry I only just remembered..."

Itachi paled, his eyes widening before he quickly replied, "No, it's fine, Kaisuki. Thank you. Why don't you take her to bed, Ren? She's done great tonight. Thank you again."

Mom nodded, "I'll let your parents know where you've gone if I see them."

Itachi nodded, before turning away and briskly walking through the streets, though it wasn't long before his pace turned into a jog. Kaisuki saw him cut through an alleyway as her mom started walking away. She hoped Sasuke was at the lake. She didn't know where else they could look.

" _I can't find her anywhere._ "

They ran into Mikoto-san and Fugaku-san on the way, and Kaisuki listened to her mom tell them where their older son had gone. She faintly recalled seeing them race off to the lake as well, and the next thing she knew, she was being tucked into her bed.

"Good night, Kaisuki." Her mom said quietly, kissing her forehead. Kaisuki blinked blearily at her.

"Did they... find Sasuke?" She mumbled, and her mom hesitated before smiling gently.

"Not yet, sweetie, but don't worry. We'll find him, so you just go to sleep, alright?" Her mom reassured, and Kaisuki nodded, even though her gut was telling her she should get up. Even though she had a really bad feeling. Even though something inside was telling her that Sasuke and Itachi needed her.

" _Maybe she doesn't want to be found._ "

She was only four, though, so there was no way she would win the battle against sleep, anyway.

%MCEPASTEBIN%


	14. dark water

_"I-Itachi!" He called as loudly-... into the lake- ... Itachi was gone-... Father couldn't-..._

_**No. We don't need to remember this. Forget about it. It doesn't matter.** _

_He had drowned-... Because of Sasuke he was-..._

_"No! No, no, no, Itachi, please wake up! Ita-..."_

_**Forget. Forget.** _ _ **Forget.** _

_The murkiness of the water was further darkened by the-... further under. Itachi turned him-... together, exhaling what little air-... into Sasuke's lungs._

_**Stop. Don't remember this. Forget about it.** _ _ **Forget about it** _ _**.** _

_Itachi used the last of his strength to-... the surface, to free him from the-... and when he resurfaced, mom snatched-... Dad's-... Itachi... gone. Dad can't find him-... he can't-... he snarls at mom for-... why he's-... dives in-... steam that bursts out of the water-..._

_Itachi wasn't breathing-..._

_**That's** _ _ **enough** _ _**.** _

" _Wake up, Sasuke. It's just a nightmare. Wake up._ "

The first thing he noticed was how incredibly cold he was.

Sasuke slowly opened his eyes, mildly delirious and unsure of where he was. It was bright in the room he was in, and he was laying in a bed. There was a woman he didn't know standing by the head of the bed, staring down at him with an unreadable expression. He could see a semi-familiar girl _(Sakura_ ) standing over him, her green eyes wide and filling rapidly with tears. The blond ( _Naruto_ ) standing beside her looked nervous, fearful almost. Another girl, this one with black hair and green eyes ( _Kaisuki... no, Izumi_ ) was at the foot of his bed, her expression somber.

The last thing he remembered was...

_"N-nii-san! Who did this? What happened?"_

He shuddered, closing his eyes again and shakily placing his palm over his eyes. Everything seemed off-center, disjointed, and unfamiliar. Was he in a hospital? The setting looked sort of hospital-like. He slowly pushed himself upright, slumping forward and staring at his lap. Everyone was incredibly quiet. It seemed like they were waiting for something.

_"Maybe there's more to it than we know, Sasuke." She was wrong. She wasn't there. She didn't know. She couldn't possibly understand._

_"I just want to give you... an incentive." He was going to be killed. He was going to die before he achieved his goal. Why didn't he just-... back then?_

_"You're pathetic. What was the point of coming here if you're still as weak as you were then?" Was there even any point anymore? Was he_ _**ever** _ _going to be strong enough? Why did it matter so much?_

_**You're so** _ _ **weak** _ _**.** _

It came back suddenly. The recollection that he wasn't eight anymore, he was twelve. He was turning thirteen in a couple of months. He had made it through the Chuunin Exams, though apparently no one who competed was passing because of how the main matches were cut short. He had survived the massacre.

_I wish I had-..._

"S-Sasuke-kun?" It was Sakura who broke the silence. Sasuke didn't really _want_ to look up at any of them, but he felt a little bit obligated to let them know he wasn't _completely_ broken. So, he slowly straightened his back a little and looked up at her. He didn't have the energy to smile, or offer any words to let her know he was fine, because he wasn't fine.

He wanted to-...

_**No. We want to kill Itachi, remember?** _

_I don't care. I don't want to-..._

_**Yes, you do. Don't argue with me.** _

So he didn't. He got terrible headaches when he argued.

"Hey, Sasuke, are you... are you okay?" Naruto spoke next, hesitant and tense. Sasuke turned his attention to him, stared at him for a long time, before he slowly shrugged. He barely had the energy to manage that much. He was so tired. He wanted to go back to sleep. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He didn't want to see these people who supposedly cared. He didn't want to have anything to do with any of them. He just wanted to sleep.

For the rest of eternity, if possible.

_**No. We need to kill Itachi.** _

_Please shut up about him. Just for a bit._

The little nagging voice in the back of his head silenced immediately, evidently understanding his fatigue. It was much appreciated. He was tempted to go ahead and lay back down and go back to sleep and just ignore all these people who were standing around him.

"I have more patients to attend to. Let me know if anything terrible happens," the strange woman - possible an irou-nin - told the members of his team. Naruto and Sakura nodded. Izumi didn't respond in any way, evidently too busy scrutinizing Sasuke. The strange, blonde irou-nin sighed, before she quietly left the room, the click-clacking of her heels fading into silence as she walked down the halls.

"Sasuke," Izumi's spoke with Kaisuki's voice, her presence adding a gentler, warmer tone to it. He didn't look up at her, and for a moment she didn't say anything further. He could feel her eyes on him as he stared at his lap, but he didn't look up. It looked as though perhaps she was choosing her words carefully. Finally, she asked him, "Are you going to be alright? Do you need anything? Anything at all?"

She asked her questions quietly, not sounding pushy at all, but genuinely concerned. She sounded like a mother who was trying to help her child to feel better. He didn't need another mom, but he really liked Izumi. She wasn't trying to fill a gap for him. She was just being an irou-nin and (probably) a mom. She would've done the same for Naruto, or Sakura. He knew she did it to Kakashi-sensei when he was injured, which (the one time Sasuke had observed) seemed to make the jounin a little embarrassed.

Despite this knowledge, he felt a creeping agitation crawl through him. He didn't need anyone's help or pity or _anything_. He didn't _want_ any of that. There was nothing anyone could do for him. Why would they even bother asking? What could they do? At the moment, what he wanted the most was to disappear and never return again. He was tired of people asking him if he was alright. He was fed up with being treated like a ticking time bomb. He was done with people treating his average daily life like it was some huge crisis.

He'd been living like this since he was eight. He hadn't been asked if he was alright this frequently _ever_. Even right after the massacre, no one had been this overly concern with his welfare. They hadn't concerned themselves with it back then, so why were they doing it now? What changed?

"I'm fine. I don't need anything." He replied simply, unable to keep the frostiness out of his voice. He still didn't look up. He was sure that Naruto, Sakura, and Izumi were staring at him with confusion in their eyes. He didn't need to see their faces to know how they had likely reacted to his cold tone.

He didn't care.

"What the hell is _your_ problem?" Naruto snapped, taking up the duty of being furious for everyone else. Sasuke looked up, though only to glare murderously at the blond. He could see Sakura out of the corner of his eye. Her eyes were still rimmed red and bloodshot from a likely entirely absurd amount of crying.

He clenched his fists on the bed briefly, before he abruptly threw the covers back and swung his legs off the side of the bed. Sakura stepped back to let him get up, and he pointedly ignored her. He also pointedly ignored the fact that his legs didn't feel as steady as he would've liked them to be.

"Where are you going?" Izumi asked, the warmth and concern gone from her voice. She sounded like she was about ready to start scolding him. If she did, he was going to hit her.

"Does it matter?" He snapped just like that, his fists clenched, anger burning in his gut as he turned to face her. "Why do you even care? It's none of your damn business, so _leave me alone_."

Izumi's eyes widened momentarily in surprise, a hint of hurt showing in her expression, before the green orbs narrowed, and her expression darkened. Her eyes flickered to blue, but Sasuke didn't care. He turned away from her without another word and started towards the door. Before he made it out of the room, however, a hand tightly wrapped around his elbow and forcibly turned him around.

Naruto, of course.

"What the _fuck_ is-...!" He began, but before he could complete his finish his question, Sasuke's anger shifted into a momentary burst of rage, and he reared back and drove his fist into Naruto's face as hard as he could. There was a sickening yet satisfying crunch as the cartilage gave out under the impact of Sasuke's fist.

"S-Sasuke-kun!" Sakura cried out in shock, and he felt her fingers ghost over his arm, but she didn't touch him. In fact, it felt as though her presence abruptly moved away from him.

Naruto stumbled backwards from the force of the blow, blood spilling out of his nose as he hit the floor. One of his hands quickly came up to pinch the bridge of his nose in an effort to stop the bleeding, spluttering all the way and cursing loudly.

_**Oh, just kill him already.** _

Khrai's blue eyes were wide, and fury crossed her expression instantly. She took a step forward, her hands balling into fists. Sasuke stared at her for a moment, his heart hammering ( _oh my god, I hit him, I broke his nose, oh my god_ ) and his head buzzing angrily ( _ **that piece of shit deserved it**_ ). He took in a shaky breath, taking a couple of steps backwards, towards the door.

"I don't need _any of you_ ," he spat venomously, despite the stinging in his eyes and the wavering of his voice. Without another word, he stormed out of the room. He walked perhaps ten feet before his legs started moving faster, until he was jogging, and then running. He could hear nurses, perhaps doctors, _someone_ shouting after him, but he bowed his head and ignored them. He raced out of the hospital, pausing in the middle of the street for only a second before he decided where he wanted to go, and took off.

The lake was as placid as always. The dark, murky water lapped at its banks with the gentlest sound. He walked down the dock that hung out nearly halfway across the waters and sat down on the edge of the dock. He hadn't been out here in several months. Since he'd graduated and become a genin, actually. He just hadn't felt the urge to visit, like he used to all the time.

_"Itachi! Itachi!!"_

His stomach twisted. He felt weird.

Sasuke looked around briefly, scanning the area carefully, before he lowered his gaze to his hands. He'd just broken Naruto's nose. He hadn't meant to. He hadn't meant to hit him at all. He hadn't wanted to. He'd just reacted violently to the idiot trying to keep him from leaving. If Naruto had left him alone, he wouldn't have a broken nose. The blond just never knew when to stop.

He turned his hands so he could see his knuckles. There was a little bit of redness on the knuckles of his left hand, from where his fist had collided with Naruto's face. It wouldn't bruise, he was sure, but it was probably going to be a little sore until tomorrow or the day after.

How was he going to face them again?

All at once, a tsunami of misery hit him with surprising force. He really didn't belong in Konohagakure. He probably didn't belong anywhere. He probably belonged in a prison, or a locked psychiatric ward, or something along those lines. He ought to be locked up. He had absolutely no self-control. He couldn't contain his anger, and he couldn't prevent himself from lashing out with violence. He was bordering on psychopathy, he was relatively certain. The feeling of blood on his hands both excited and sickened him. The rush of killing made him feel more alive than anything else he had ever done.

How could he know for sure whether or not he was going to actually kill Naruto someday? Or Sakura? Or Kaisuki? How could he know for sure that he wouldn't _ever_ try? He didn't have the self-control to keep himself from punching Naruto as hard as he possibly could, who could say for sure that he wouldn't pull out a kunai next time and slash at his throat?

_What is wrong with me?_

His eyes were watering, and he reached up with a hand and impatiently rubbed the tears away. He didn't want to be like this. _Why_ was he like this? Was it because of the massacre? Was it because of Itachi? Was he just so irreparably broken that he was turning into the spitting image of his brother? Was there anything he could do to combat it? Was there any way for him to regain his self-control?

He didn't even know if he'd ever _had_ self-control. He couldn't remember a time in his academy years where a sparring match hadn't resulted in sprains and gashes and broken ankles and wrists. He couldn't remember a time where he didn't skirmish with someone and find himself actually trying to _really_ hurt them. Had he always been like this? Even before the massacre? Was this just who he was?

Sasuke wrapped his arms around his middle, hunching forward. His lower lip was trembling as he tried extremely hard not to start crying, but it was an uphill battle. He didn't know why it mattered. No one ever came to this lake anyway. It was technically a forbidden area. He didn't know why. The Sandaime Hokage had put up tall gates and fencing around the area with "keep out" warnings everywhere. Sasuke had been ignoring them since he was seven.

He sniffled, reaching up and wiping at his eyes again. He tried to hold in a sob, but it choked its way out of his throat, and that was it. The next thing he knew, he was hunched over himself, sobbing and shaking and trying to get a hold of himself and failing miserably.

He didn't want to be like this. He didn't want to be unable to control himself. He didn't want to constantly live in fear of the day when he snapped and at least _tried_ to kill one of his friends. He didn't want to have to be afraid of himself. Why couldn't he have been a normal kid? Why couldn't he have been like Sakura, or Ino, or Shikamaru, or Kiba? Why couldn't he have just had a normal family, without the massacre? Why did it have to be _him_ who had to fight this battle?

He buried his face in his hands and cried and cried and cried, until he was practically hyperventilating. He took in great, shuddering breaths that wracked his body with tremors and made him cough. He straightened up momentarily, looking around again. There was no one there, and for some reason, it hurt more than he would've expected. No one was looking for him.

He'd been right all along. They didn't really care.

_**You just broke Naruto's nose. What the hell did you think was gonna happen?** _

He wished he could explain to his team why he did the things that he did, why he was the way that he was. He wished he could at least explain to them that he didn't mean it, that it wasn't like he hated them or anything. He wished he could figure out a way to articulate what was wrong with him, so that _someone_ could help him. He couldn't fix it on his own. He couldn't fix whatever it was that was fractured deep inside of him.

He needed help, but he was too scared to ask for it.

What if they thought he was insane? What if they just locked him up, no questions asked? He didn't want to spend the rest of his life locked up as a mental patient. He just wanted to be normal. He wanted to be a little freaked out when he killed someone.

He wanted to _sleep_ , without having to worry about closing his eyes and reliving that night over and over and over. Itachi didn't need to use that genjutsu on him. He saw the massacre every night. Never in such vivid detail, but he saw it. It was always there. It haunted him. Everywhere he went, everything he saw and did, he would always find some way to compare it to his family, to his home, to his clan, to his brother...

_Why did it have to be me?_

There had to be someone who had been in the same position he was in. There had to be _someone_ with uncontrollable violent urges, with the irresistible desire to spill blood, with the inability to control themselves. There _had_ to be _someone_ out there who could help him. There _had_ to be.

He couldn't possibly be the only one. He couldn't be _that_ alone. He just _couldn't._ If he was, he wasn't going to make it. He wasn't going to be able to kill Itachi. If he was truly _that_ alone in the world, he didn't want to live anymore. He didn't want to live with the constant reminder that he had _nothing_ and _no one_.

_**I dunno, we've been living like that pretty well for the past... almost five years, now.** _

He didn't want to do it anymore.

Sasuke stared at the murky waters for a long time, his eyes still leaking tears though the wrenching sobs had stopped. He placed his hands on the edge of the dock, sliding forward. Maybe he could just end it right now. Maybe he could just disappear into the water, where no one would be able to find him, and just never come back. Maybe he could just make it all stop right now.

Maybe he didn't _have_ to be alone. Maybe he didn't _have_ to kill Itachi. Maybe he didn't _have_ to do any of it.

Impulsively, Sasuke abruptly planted his hands and pushed off, sending himself falling into the dark water. He didn't take a breath before he went under. He didn't try to swim. He wrapped his arms around himself and allowed the water to pull him down, down, down. His head was aching, and his lungs where burning.

He deliberately let out all the air he had in his lungs and took in a deep breath of straight water. It _hurt_. He grabbed at his chest, eyes wide and watering, nose on fire, whole body jerking and flinching from the pain. His mind was already beginning to fog up, to fade away from him. He wrapped his finger around his throat, forcing himself to take in more water. It hurt _so bad_. His eyes were stinging, likely still producing tears.

He felt himself hit the bottom of the lake and looked up towards where he knew the sky was. He couldn't see it. All around him, there was nothing but darkness. He couldn't see anything at all, though there wasn't really all that much to see in this particular lake.

He could feel his body shivering from the chill caused by the cool water. He could feel his brain steadily shutting down as his body screamed and cried for air. He was in excruciating pain. He could feel nothing but pins and needles from his chest, to his fingers tips, to his toes, and around the buzzing in his head.

_**I don't want to die!** _

_Yes, I do._

_**No,** _ _I d_ _**on't want** _ _to die! Please, please, please, don't d_ _**ie! Live! I want to live! I want to** _ _live_ _**my** _ _life and_ _**be who I** _ _want to be and d_ _**o what I wa** _ _nt to do! I have things to do! There are pe_ _**ople who will miss me!** _

_It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. Why bother, anymore?_

It was a lie.

Sasuke's whole body jerked into motion before he realized what he was doing, his arms flailing and his legs kicking weakly in an effort to get him back to the surface. But his strength had been completely and utterly sapped from him by the lack of oxygen, and the amount of water in his lungs was weighing him down.

Even if he wanted to live, there was no way he was going to.

His vision had blacked out, and his mind had come to a screeching halt. He couldn't think. He couldn't see. He couldn't feel anything. He couldn't hear anything. He couldn't _breathe._ There was nothing left for him to take in, and even if there had been, he couldn't have processed it anyway. It didn't matter anymore. He was dead.

_"Itachi! Itachi!!"_

_The lake devoured-... sucked him down-... bottom and-... When dad tried-... the tendrils of blackness-... held him down.... screaming-... someone,_ _**anyone** _ _-..._ _save him..._

_Dad dove-... after Itachi-... resurface for-... When he-... Itachi, but Sasuke-... moving rapidly through-... He almost-... Dad-... deep, deep breath and-... the water... murky blackness light up-... The water-... and dad reappeared-... with Itachi-... close-... his arms..._

_This was Sasuke's fault. If he hadn't... this wouldn't have happened._

_I don't want to die._

_I don't want-... either..._

_Why couldn't he-...?_

_I just-..._

_-... him..._

_What did...?_

...

"Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi had been walking home, exhausted, after forcing the doctors to release him from the hospital. Tsunade of the Sannin had awakened him. He was eternally in her debt. He'd thought he was dead. He had _really_ thought he was dead.

He looked up at the sound of Naruto's voice, seeing three of his four teammates running towards him, looking stricken. Naruto had a bruise on the bridge of his nose, and there was blood on the front of his jumpsuit. He slowly came to a stop, waiting for them to run up and catch their breath.

"Can I help you?" He asked halfheartedly. He was _so_ tired.

It was Sakura who spoke, "Kakashi-sensei, something's really wrong with Sasuke-kun. He broke Naruto's nose and then ran off, and we've been looking for him because Khrai-san is really worried, but we can't find him anywhere."

"We've probably searched the whole fucking village," Khrai added irritably. He was surprised to see her. Kakashi stared at them for a long moment. Sasuke had probably been meaning to break Naruto's nose for some time now, considering the relationship he had with the blond. However, the Uchiha had never actually followed through with it because, despite his battlefield instincts, he had enough self-control to keep from actually hitting his teammates.

And then he'd run off, and now he was missing entirely. If Saeka was around, they could've just asked her to feel out his energy and tell them where he was hiding. But the unstable girl was still missing in action, so that wasn't an option.

"Why are you worried?" He directed the question to Khrai, as she was the one Naruto had identified as the primarily concerned party. There was a lengthy pause as she stared at him, her gaze hardened and her jaw working. Khrai had a nasty temper. She also didn't like men, for whatever reason. He had heard that much from Kaisuki, during that month before the main matches of the Chuunin Exam.

"I'm worried that he's going to hurt himself." She finally conceded, diverting her gaze away. Kakashi stiffened. Izumi wasn't supposed to have told _anyone_ about his self-harming.

"Why?" Kakashi further questioned. Khrai looked up at him again, and the hardness of her gaze faded somewhat. He could see the worry in her eyes, he could tell how distressed she was. It was surprisingly easy to read Khrai's emotions, though figuring out what exactly she was thinking was nearly impossible.

After a beat, she replied, her tone bitter. "He was suicidal for a while after the massacre," she stated, and Kakashi's heart skipped a beat. _Suicidal_? Why had no one heard about it? How much of Sasuke's inner turmoil had been hidden away from the people whose job was to keep him safe? "I'm worried he might do something stupid since... since he just saw Itachi again for the first time since then."

Sakura and Naruto had blanched as they stared at her. Slowly, Naruto spoke, "H-how do you... know that he was...?"

"He told Kaisuki." Khrai replied softly, "He had told her that he didn't want to live the way Itachi had told him to. He didn't want to be a lone survivor, and he told her he was going to..." She trailed off into silence, her eyes widened hugely.

"What?" Sakura asked nervously.

Khrai slowly answered her, "He told her he was going to drown himself in the forbidden lake."

Kakashi's eyes widened. Drown himself? Drowning was one of the _worst_ ways to die, second only to burning alive. How had Sasuke been so depressed that he'd considered offing himself in as painful a way as he could stand, and no one noticed?

Was he still that depressed?

"Did you check that lake?" Kakashi asked them stiffly, and the three of them shook their heads. He clenched his fists in his pockets, praying they were wrong. "Then let's go check."

His three teammates nodded, and they started walking towards the lake. It only took a few moments before their pace reached a light jog, moving faster and faster, until they were running. Until the only reason Kakashi hadn't left them behind was because he was purposefully holding back on his speed. He didn't want to think that Sasuke was really in that lake, trying to drown himself. That lake was forbidden for a reason. Kakashi himself didn't know that reason - it was classified information - but the entire village knew that the lake wasn't safe, and they weren't supposed to go anywhere near it.

They reached the huge, iron gate and tall fencing. There were warning signs everywhere. The gate was still locked, but there was no way that would've stopped a ninja of any level. They vaulted the fence together, slowing back down to a jog when they reached the long dock and started down it.

Sasuke was nowhere to be seen.

Kakashi's mouth was dry. He was asking his friends in the afterlife to watch over Sasuke, to keep him alive if he was in those waters. They reached the end of the dock, and Khrai and Kakashi peered over the edge, while Naruto and Sakura looked around the sides, all of them searching through the darkness, searching for any signs of movement. There were none.

Maybe he hadn't come here. Maybe he was somewhere else. Maybe he had decided to hide out in one of the higher-level training grounds, like the Forest of Death, or something. Maybe he had gone home and locked the door and simply fallen utterly silent when he'd heard his teammates banging on his door.

"Look with your Sharingan," Khrai suddenly demanded. "You can see chakra with it, right? If he's in there..."

"Yea," he agreed, sliding his hitai-ate up to reveal the red eye that wasn't his. He blinked a few times, adjusting to the sunlight, spinning the tomoe in his eyes three times counter-clockwise so he'd be able to visualize chakra signatures.

Kakashi swallowed hard, and leaned over the edge of the dock again, peering into the water. At first, he didn't see anything at all. The water remained dark and unmoving. He almost let out a sigh of relief and leaned back again, but something in his gut told him he shouldn't look away yet. Kakashi trusted his gut more than anyone he was friends with. He blinked, straining his eyes to see.

Then, he saw it. A flicker of chakra. It was faint. It was weak. Even the small flicker he'd seen was barely visible. He knew who it was without having to think of it. That shade of dark blue only belonged to one person, and that person was Sasuke.

And he wasn't moving.

_"Did you hear about Kakashi-kun's father?"_

He swore and, without thinking of the potential consequences, he dove into the water. It was freezing, despite the fact that it was late April in Hi no Kuni, which was known for warming up quickly in the earliest parts of spring.

He started swimming towards those tiny flickers of barely visible chakra, his other eye straining to see through the murky water. He twisted himself and his feet found the bottom of the lake. It was way too dark to see anything at all, so he groped around, seeking out the Uchiha.

Finally, he found something that felt like wet fabric, and he grabbed it tightly, yanking it towards him. He could feel the water shifting around them as he pulled Sasuke to his chest. The kid didn't move. Didn't respond. Kakashi wanted to check for a pulse, but he knew he didn't have the time for that. He wrapped his arms around Sasuke's waist, holding onto him tightly, and used his chakra to propel them both up to the surface of the water.

Every split second that passed was too much time lost. They broke through the surface, Kakashi gasping for a breath even as he pressed a hand to the surface of the waters, using his chakra to stick to it so he could push himself out of the water and stand on it.

He adjusted his hold on Sasuke quickly, scooping up his legs and holding him bridal style. He then strode hastily over to the docks, which he had somehow wound up several feet away from, and set the Uchiha down carefully. Before he could check for a pulse, for his breathing, for anything, a now green-eyed Yurei fell to her knees beside the boy.

Sasuke's face was whiter than white. His lips were tinted blue. He looked positively _dead_. Izumi checked his pulse, and then his airways, before turning him onto his side. Her hands glowed a soft green as she placed one over Sasuke's diaphragm, and the other on his back, in more or less the same spot.

She paused for a moment, watching Sasuke carefully, before she slowly started to move her hands up, pressing in hard. Kakashi had no idea what she was doing until he saw water come spilling out of Sasuke's nose and mouth. A lot of water.

_"The boy found him, you know."_

Kakashi swallowed. How was he going to explain this to the various people he was going to have to explain it to? Their new Hokage, Tsunade, was an irou-nin, so she'd probably have better insight than he did, but he didn't want Sasuke locked up in a psychiatric ward somewhere. It wouldn't help him get better at all. It wouldn't fix anything.

If anything, it would make things worse.

_You're assuming he's going to live. You do realize that, right?_

"Kakashi-kun," Izumi suddenly said, and his gaze darted up to met her's. "Khrai wants you off this lake. Right now."

He blinked, confused, but he nodded jerkily and walked around to the side of the docks, planting his hands and pulling himself up onto the wooden structure. He stood up, ignoring the lump building in his throat as he watched water spill out of Sasuke's mouth. He was so still. So completely unresponsive.

_"He hung himself, I heard."_

Izumi's hands continued to push up until she had moved one of her hands up to the back of his neck, the other pressing along his throat. Her hands swiftly moved back down, stopping over the approximate location of his lungs, and she nodded to herself before rolling Sasuke onto his back again. The kid hadn't coughed at all, even while Izumi had been pushing the water out of his lungs.

The dead irou-nin started up chest compressions. Three compressions at a time, before leaning over, pinching his nose and pressing their mouths together so she could exhale a full breath into his lungs. Then, she resumed her compressions. Again and again and again and again and again and again and again, and Kakashi could see her shoulders shaking as she moved with determination, but Sasuke was dead. At this point, he had to be. How long had it been since he'd drowned?

_I should've been there for you._

He would've given anything for a second chance to help the kid.

So suddenly that it made him flinch, Sasuke's back arched and he took in probably the deepest breath of his life, which immediately turned into a horrible coughing fit. He wheezed and choked as Izumi dug a hand under his back and quickly helped him to sit up. She leaned him against her, rubbing his back soothingly, her hands beginning to glow again as she eased Sasuke's fit.

The kid wheezed loudly a few times before he started to calm down. Kakashi, Naruto, and Sakura were utterly still, neither wanting to make a sound. After a few minutes of quiet coughs and shaky breaths, Sasuke pulled away from Izumi. He was shaking all over, and Kakashi could hear his teeth chattering. His breathing was near hyperventilating, and Izumi continued to rub his back with her glowing hands, likely encouraging his body to let him breathe normally.

_"Did he really kill himself? Over the gossip?"_

"Sasuke?" Izumi called softly. The Uchiha looked up at her, but Kakashi couldn't see his face. He wanted to say something to the kid, but he didn't know what to say. He wanted to hit him, and hug him, and comfort him, and yell at him. He also sort of wanted to cry. He was far too tired for this.

"I-Izu-... mi..." Sasuke managed to say around his shaking jaw. Izumi reached down and quickly untied the purple scarf wrapped around her waist. She shook it out of its folds, revealing it to be more like a shawl than anything else, and wrapped it tightly around his shoulders.

Sasuke was staring at her. Kakashi wished he could see his face, wished he could read the kid's expression. "W-wha-what a-are y-y-y-you... d-doing here?" was what the Uchiha wanted to know, and the urge to punch the kid in the head was stronger than ever. Kakashi was _soaked_ and, in fact, very, _very_ cold and tired. And it was Sasuke's fault.

_"Pathetic, and so, so selfish."_

"Sasuke, honey," Izumi crooned, distressed, as she continued to rub his back. The glowing had gone from her hands. Now she was just trying to give him some heat. "We came looking for you. Khrai was really worried."

Slowly, Sasuke turned to finally see the rest of his team standing a couple of feet back. His black eyes were wide. He looked shocked, to say the least. Kakashi had known that Sasuke had a terrible opinion of himself - it was relatively recently acquired information, but he knew about it. He hadn't realized, however, just _how_ poorly the kid's opinion of himself was.

Had he really thought that they wouldn't care if he died?

There was a pause as Sasuke's face fell. His shivering worsened for a moment before he quietly spoke, "Why?"

Sakura was the one who spoke, and she sounded mildly hysterical, which surprised Kakashi. He would've thought she'd be _completely_ hysterical. "Why? _!_ Sasuke-kun, we're your _team_! We're your _friends_! Why _wouldn't_ we come looking for you?" She paused, hesitating momentarily as a fresh onslaught of tears spilled out of her eyes. "Did you... did you think we wouldn't care?"

Sasuke stiffened, lowering his head further, sinking into his shoulders. Sakura made a choked sound, a sob escaping throat. Kakashi still didn't know what to say. His mind was still racing. Really, though, how much more of this was Sasuke hiding? How had he been hiding it for so long? Why was it coming forth in bursts like this? First the scratching, now attempted suicide. What was he going to do next? Was there anything _worse_ than _this_?

_What's wrong, Sasuke?_

It was a stupid question to ask. He knew what was wrong. His older brother had fundamentally betrayed him in the worst possible way, and he'd been force to watch his entire family get slaughtered in the form of a powerful genjutsu that he wouldn't have been able to break through. He had been left alone and broken, believing he had nowhere to go and no one to turn to.

It was a stupid, stupid question, but Kakashi wanted to ask it. Not now, for obvious reasons, but he wanted to ask. He didn't know how much help he could offer. He wasn't the best person for _anyone_ to turn to, let alone a kid like Sasuke. He was still better off talking to Izumi, but Kakashi wanted to be there for him. He wanted the kid to be able to turn to him.

But Sasuke didn't really trust him. Not since he'd found out about the scratching.

_"He must not have cared about his poor son at all, to just leave him behind like that."_

"Sasuke, do you want me to take you home or to the hospital?" Kakashi perked up at Izumi's question, startled. She wasn't going to automatically send him to the hospital, after what'd just happened? He would've thought...

_She probably doesn't want to tell the doctors there that he tried to_ _**drown** _ _himself. Kind of like you, actually._

Sasuke didn't reply at first, but when he did, his voice was so small and quiet, it made Kakashi's heart split in half. "I... w-w-wanna go h-h-home." His voice was weak and tired and his teeth were still chattering, and the jounin could completely understand how he felt. Well, somewhat. He was relatively certain that the level of exhaustion Sasuke was dealing with was a hundredfold worse than what Kakashi was dealing with. After all, the kid had just been revived from death. Or near-death. He didn't know if the Uchiha had had a pulse when he pulled him out of the water.

Izumi nodded, "Okay. I'm going to switch with Khrai then, and she's going to use the zenshin kirikae to turn into her regular self," the irou-nin explained gently, "And she'll carry you home on her back. Are you okay with that? I don't think you should try walking home like this. You nearly have hypothermia. If Khrai carries you, you'll be able to share her body heat. Alright?"

Sasuke was still for a long time, and Kakashi could tell that he was debating his answer. But, after a long time of thinking, he softly replied. "Okay."

In an instant, Izumi's eyes switched to that bright, bright blue that signified that Khrai had taken over. The woman carefully pulled back from Sasuke, one hand still hovering behind his back as if to be sure that he wouldn't fall. "Just try to hold yourself up for a second. You can't be too close to me when I do this." She told him. Sasuke nodded, sitting up straighter, though he still hunched forward and sunk into his shoulders. Khrai took a couple of steps back from him and moved her hands through the necessary hand seals quickly.

"Zenshin kirikae no jutsu," she said, and the familiar swirl of white surrounded her briefly, before fading away and revealing the rather incredibly beautiful woman. He hoped Jiraiya never met her when she looked like this. He'd try to flirt with her, and she'd probably rip out his tongue.

She crouched down besides Sasuke, rubbing his back briefly, "You still with me?" A weak nod was the only reply she got, and she looked up at Kakashi, "Give me a hand, will ya'?"

Kakashi blinked, surprised at being addressed. But he swallowed hard and nodded mutely, walking over to them and helping Sasuke onto Khrai's back.

_"Your father was a cruel, selfish man, Kakashi. Don't blame yourself for his weakness."_

Once Sasuke had been properly situated on Khrai's back, the woman stood up quickly, glancing at Sakura, and then Kakashi, and finally, Naruto. The blond had been just as quiet as his jounin instructor. He looked like he was in shock. Kakashi wanted to do something about it, but his words were trapped within the bile threatening to either choke him or make him projectile vomit everywhere.

"Naruto," Khrai said, her voice soft. The blond slowly turned his attention away from the top of Sasuke's head (he had buried his face into Khrai's shoulder), his eyes almost glazed over. Sakura blinked at the blonde woman's address, but then looked over at Naruto. Her eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with red from her crying, but she stared at her blond teammate, green eyes widening. She looked to Kakashi, her expression stricken, but the jounin couldn't say anything. He simply met her gaze, and he was sure his eyes were as hollowed out as he felt. He slowly reached up and pulled his hitai-ate back down to cover his Sharingan. It was starting to ache a bit.

"I want you to go with Sakura, okay? She's gonna walk you home, and you're gonna go to bed, alright?" Khrai stated, and Sakura looked over at the blonde, surprised at her inclusion. Naruto didn't respond for a long time, and Khrai reiterated, her voice firmer, " _Alright_?"

That time, Naruto managed to jerk his head slightly in what might've been a poor attempt at a nod, but it was enough for the blonde. She looked over at Sakura, her expression serious, "He's in shock, Sakura. Make sure he gets home safely and put him to bed. That's you're only job for the rest of the afternoon."

Then, Khrai turned to Kakashi, "You're going to go home as well. Take a hot shower, get in bed, get some rest. You look almost as bad as this one," she stated bluntly, tilting her head a little towards Sasuke.

_"Hey, Kakashi, I heard about your dad from my mom. Will you tell us about how you found him?"_

Kakashi didn't respond right away. He wanted to tell her that he would prefer to follow her to Sasuke's house so he could make sure the Uchiha was safe and alright, so he would be able to sleep more soundly. He knew that Khrai was more than enough to get Sasuke home, though. He'd had the _pleasure_ of witnessing just how strong she was when she'd broken Neji's arm with one swing, while she'd been holding back.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat, but he couldn't speak. It was starting to get frustrating, but Khrai seemed to understand what he was thinking just by looking at him, as she reassured after a beat, "Izumi will check on him in the morning, and then we'll all meet a couple hours after that, and we'll give you a status update regarding his condition then." She explained to them. Her expression was warmer than usual. She was much prettier when she wasn't scowling at everyone. "Whether he comes to the meeting or not will depend entirely on Izumi's judgment. So, you might not see him for a couple of days, but you might see him tomorrow." She continued, uninterrupted by the mostly mute Team 7. "You don't have to worry, we'll take care of him."

It sounded reasonable, and he knew he could trust Izumi and Khrai to take care of Sasuke. And if he was going to get a status update in the morning, he'd feel better about going straight home and getting in bed. So, he nodded jerkily, glancing at Sakura for the final agreement. She seemed to be the only one who hadn't gone into shock or fallen mute.

After a pause, Sakura nodded, licking her lips nervously. "You'll definitely give us an update tomorrow?" Khrai nodded. "And when and where do you want us to be?"

Khrai thought for a moment before she replied, "The same spot where you guys were trying to get those bells off Kakashi."

Sakura nodded understandingly, "Training ground thirteen." She supplied.

Khrai smiled at the girl appreciatively, "Be there by eight in the morning. Kakashi, if you're late, you're gonna miss the update. I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit around for three fucking hours waiting for your slow ass."

The jounin's eyes fell on Sasuke, who looked rather like he had fallen asleep. After a beat, he nodded silently.

_"Jeez, Kakashi, don't_ _**kill yourself** _ _over it. Hahaha!"_

"Alrighty, then, team." Khrai announced, "Let's move the fuck out."

Without waiting for anyone's reply, she started walking off the docks. Kakashi glanced at Sakura as she gingerly linked her elbow with Naruto, placing her free hand on his arm and guiding him around so they could head down the docks. He stumbled at first, but he managed to start walking. He still looked like he was in shock. Kakashi was beginning to wonder if maybe she ought to take him to the hospital. But, he reminded himself, Izumi was an irou-nin. If she had thought that Naruto was in bad enough shape to be hospitalized, she would've said so.

_Yea, but she apparently didn't think Sasuke needed to be hospitalized, either._

She had to have seen something that the rest of them had missed. Perhaps Sasuke had attempted suicide, but had decided he didn't actually want to die a few seconds too late. That happened sometimes, he was sure. The kid was just incredibly lucky that Khrai had thought of that stupid lake, and that Kakashi had the Sharingan that he could use to see chakra, even through murky, dark waters. If he hadn't looked with his Sharingan, they probably would've assumed he wasn't there, and then the kid would really have died.

He walked along, trailing the furthest back, his eyes on the ground a few feet in front of him. When they reached his turnoff, he didn't call out to say goodbye. Sakura and Naruto were continuing slowly down the streets, while he had already watched Khrai walk up the steps to Sasuke's apartment. The Uchiha had made it home safely, as he'd expected.

When he finally walked into his apartment, his fatigue was immense, but he didn't want to go to bed in his clothes. They were still soaked, so he stripped out of them in the middle of the room, leaving them in a pile on the floor and heading into the bathroom. He considered skipping the shower, but in the end, he turned the water up as hot as he could stand it, and stepped under the spray.

_"Why don't you just off yourself like your loser dad? No one's gonna miss a jerk like you!"_

He felt _filthy_. Even though he wasn't really covered in muck or anything, he just felt dirty. As though he'd been bathed in something unnatural and evil in nature. As if the murky darkness of the lake had stuck to him.

Kakashi showered _thoroughly_. He scrubbed and scrubbed until his skin was raw and the hot water had run out. When he felt the spray of water becoming cold, he gave himself a final rinse and shut it off. He still didn't feel right, but he didn't have enough hot water to continue stripping his skin away with a wash cloth.

He threw on a t-shirt and underwear and clambered into bed, closing his eyes immediately. He still felt dirty. Filthy. It was as though he hadn't showered at all. There was just a constant feeling, almost like the sensation of something crawling about beneath his skin. He didn't like it. He wanted nothing more than to peel himself out of his skin. Maybe _then_ the feeling would go away.

He wondered if Sasuke felt the same.

_He probably feels worse._

He burrowed further under his covers, trying to ignore the feeling of dirtiness so he could sleep. He was still worried about Sasuke. What were they going to tell the Hokage? Were they going to tell her anything at all? He kind of _had_ to, but he _really_ didn't want to have the poor kid locked up. Maybe he could tell her and then convince her to leave Sasuke to him and Izumi. Sasuke trusted Izumi a lot more than he trusted Kakashi. In fact, he seemed to really like the motherly irou-nin.

Kakashi didn't blame him for that. Izumi was extremely likeable, what with her mothering tendencies and generalized gentleness. The silver-haired jounin happened to like her, too. She called him _Kakashi-kun_. It was a little embarrassing. No one had called him that since he was about ten.

Sasuke trusting Izumi essentially meant that they had a way in. There was someone who could talk to him. There was someone he might be willing to share his secrets with. Someone who could help. Kakashi would try to be there for him as much as he could, but he knew he wasn't going to be Sasuke's first go-to in a time of need.

He buried his face into his pillow and sighed noisily, depressed. He was completely useless when it came to things like that. Completely, utterly useless. If Kurenai or Gai had been Sasuke's jounin instructor, they would've been able to help. They would've been there for him, and he would've let them be there. He would've trusted them.

Kakashi really wasn't suited to be anyone's instructor, or mentor, or anything of the sort. He just didn't have the personality for it. He didn't know why anyone ever thought it had been a good idea to direct genin to him. He couldn't take care of them. He couldn't look out for them. Evidently, he couldn't even persuade them to trust him.

He wasn't even moping. Those were facts.

 _Well,_ he told himself, _you're just going to have to try and fix it while you have a chance. Talk to Kurenai. She always has good advice for things like this._

He'd talk to her tomorrow, after his meeting with his team. Kakashi rolled over and grabbed his alarm clock, setting it to go off at five in the morning, in case he was tired enough to sleep through the morning. Usually he was up by about four, but considering how tired he was (despite the fact that it was three in the afternoon) it was possible that he'd become comatose for twenty-four hours. He sure felt like he wanted to be.

He put the alarm clock back down on his night stand and burrowed back under the blankets. He'd go to the meeting with his team, and then he'd go talk to Tsunade about Sasuke, and then he'd go talk to Kurenai about trust issues. Busy day tomorrow.

Kakashi rolled back over onto his left side, curling up partway and hugging his pillow to his chest. He needed to stop thinking and go to sleep.

Once he made himself comfortable and got himself to stop thinking, falling asleep wasn't a problem. His eyelids became heavy even though they were closed, and the sweet, sweet bliss of slumber came along and whacked him over the head as hard as it could.

He was asleep in minutes.

_"Shut up!_ _**Shut up** _ _! All of you, just shut up and_ _**leave me** _ _**alone** _ _!!_ _**"** _

%MCEPASTEBIN%


	15. the eye of the beholder

He didn't have a clear recollection of how he'd gotten to the thirteenth training grounds, but he was glad that he'd gotten to it in one piece, without incident (probably), and that he hadn't gone off in some unknown direction to do something he hadn't meant to do. Blacking out wasn't something he normally did, and neither was strolling through Konohagakure in such a thick mental fog that he couldn't recall anything beyond waking up in excruciating pain.

Kakashi shifted both restlessly and uncomfortably where he sat, leaning against a tree. It was seven-thirty in the morning. He'd been sitting in more or less the same spot since around sunrise, which occurred around quarter after five. He had a terrible, _terrible_ headache stemming from the sharp, searing pain that kept flaring in his left eye.

He pushed his hitai-ate up, uncovering the Sharingan that hid behind it, and slowly cracked the eye open. He still couldn't see out of it at all. There was what almost seemed like a muddy splotch in the center of his left eye's field of vision, and he couldn't see through it. He didn't know what had happened overnight, but his Sharingan seemed to have gone totally blind.

He had thought that perhaps he should pay Tsunade a visit and see if she could find out what was wrong with it, but he had recalled at the time that it was five in the morning and she probably wasn't awake. Besides, Izumi would be arriving relatively soon, and she was a capable irou-nin as well. If there was anything irou-ninjutsu could do to fix the problem, she'd probably be able to handle it on her own.

He also hadn't wanted to risk missing The Update. He didn't know if repairing whatever was broken in his eye would take three hours or three minutes. He was far from an irou-nin. He could stop bleeding and close open arteries - as per ANBU training - but that was the extent of both his abilities and knowledge. For all he knew, the problem with his eye was irreversible. He still didn't know why it was behaving oddly in the first place. Had he done anything different or dangerous lately?

_Maybe jumping into that-...no, no, no... possible but-... quiet, quiet, hush, hush... getting the feeling that... don't worry, don't worry..._

"Kakashi-kun?" He flinched as he was wrenched violently out of a very odd train of thought and looked up, blinking his one eye at Izumi, the other kept closed. He stared at her for a long moment. What was he doing, again? Why was he out... here? Where was this?

He blinked a few more times, glancing around. Training ground thirteen. Why was Izumi here? Had he called them all together? Why? They didn't have any missions pending, he knew that much, so it couldn't be a mission debriefing. _Had_ he called them all together?

_"Izumi will check on him in the morning, and then we'll all meet a couple hours after that, and we'll give you a status update regarding his condition then."_

_Oh, right._

He closed his eyes pressing his thumb and forefinger against his eyelids. His head was really killing him. He felt like he'd just forgotten something that might've been important. He strained his mind to recall whatever it was that he ought to be recalling, but it was gone. That made it seem more important, which was fairly frustrating. He felt like he'd been in this exact scenario already. Perhaps more than once.

"Are you alright?" He heard Izumi crouch down beside him and lowered his hand so he could look at her. He kept his left eye shut. It was hurting worse that it had been a moment ago. His head was pounding worse, too. It was eight in the morning and he was already having a bad day. He ought to go back to bed.

He cleared his throat when he noticed it was a little to dry to produce sound, and replied, "Not really." He told her. She nodded, watching him expectantly even as she scrutinized him. "My Sharingan seems to have gone blind, and both it and my head are killing me."

Her green eyes widened in alarm. "Do you mind if I take a look?" She requested, and he slowly shook his head, not wanting to aggravate the throbbing in his skull anymore than he absolutely had to.

"Go for it." He permitted, opening his eyes. It burned. He ignored it, despite the fact that it felt sort of like his eyes wanted to water. Izumi looked from one eyes to the other, her lips parting slightly as she moved to sit on her knees.

"Follow my finger," she said, holding up her forefinger and moving it back and forth across his field of vision. He followed the movement, relatively certain that his left eye was moving the same way as his right. Aside from the pain, he couldn't really feel it at all. After a few second of following her finger, Izumi dropped her hand. She reached out with her right hand and place her thumb on his cheekbone, just under his eye, and another pair of fingers on his temple.

There was a soft glow that almost penetrated the muddy darkness in his Sharingan. Izumi's brow furrowed, her eyes flashing blue for just a moment before switching back to green. He waited patiently for her to divulge whatever it was she was picking up for only a few moments before she sat leaned back and frowned at him.

"There's foreign, dark energy trying to burrow into your eye, Kakashi-kun," she stated, and he blinked. Dark energy? _Burrowing_ into his _eye_? "Khrai is theorizing that you may have picked it up from the lake. I... don't know if I can get it out, but there's something I can try that might work. It may hurt, though."

"I have a decent threshold for pain," he answered simply. "Give it your best."

Izumi gave him a look that he didn't know what to make of and reached out with her hand again, placing it exactly as it had been a moment ago. He could feel her chakra begin to seep out of her fingers. He couldn't tell what she was doing. The irou-nin lifted her other hand next, daintily extending her middle finger and pointing it towards his eye. A look of concentration appeared on her face, and he felt a peculiar sensation stemming from the back of his eye.

It was only a weird feeling at first, as though there was a string attached to his eye and someone was tugging on it. But after a few seconds, it shifted into a sharp, blazing pain that shot through his skull and bounced around the inside of his head. He clenched his teeth, fighting to keep his eyes open as she did whatever it was she was doing. It seemed to be taking an awfully long time. He sort of wished she'd hurry it up.

Abruptly, his vision went completely black, and it didn't take long for him to lose track of how many seconds or minute or _hours_ the darkness lasted. He could faintly hear someone calling him, though he wasn't entirely sure who it was, and there was a pressure on his shoulder that felt hundreds of miles away.

.

"Kakashi-kun! Kakashi-kun!" Blearily, Kakashi opened his eyes and lifted his head. What just happened? Did he black out? He looked up at Izumi. She looked very alarmed. Then, he noticed that he could see out of both eyes.

"What happened?" He asked tiredly, reaching up to massage his temples. His headache was certainly less intense, but it was still there. He'd probably have to nap that away later.

"You passed out," Izumi replied, grabbing his chin and tilting his head up so she could get a better look at him. "Can you see now?"

"Yea," he answered her question simply, offering a tired, reassuring smile. She returned the gesture, looking exasperated, and stood up. She offered him a hand and he gratefully took it and allowed her to help him drag himself to his feet. He felt a thousand times better already.

"You had me worried for a minute there." She chided, "Are you sure you're alright now?"

"I'm fine, thank you, Izumi." He assured her, looking up when he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. He tugged his hitai-ate back down as Sakura and Naruto approached. Sakura was talking to Naruto. The blond looked pale and out of it, but he was engaging her in conversation, which was a good sign in Kakashi's eyes.

The two of them looked towards the duo standing under the tree in unison, Sakura offering a smile and a wave. Naruto imitated her, though he looked like his heart wasn't in it. Kakashi would've thought that Sakura would be the one to handle Sasuke's attempted suicide the worst, but somehow it seemed to have turned out that Naruto was the one taking it the hardest.

Then again, the five of them made up the only family Naruto had, excluding Iruka. To Sakura, they were just close friends. The difference between a friend and a family member was astronomical.

Naruto and Sakura stepped up to them, and Izumi smiled at the two of them, "How are you feeling, Naruto?" She asked, and the blond looked over at her and smiled tiredly.

"Haha, terrible. But that's okay. I'll be fine soon enough." Naruto grinned, though the expression didn't match the rest of his face like it usually did. "How is Sasuke?" He then asked, sounding nervous.

The irou-nin blinked, but then smiled warmly at him, "He's still alive. He was a bit distressed this morning, but he's alright now. He had a fever, so I gave him something to help with that, as well as something to help him sleep, and sent him back to bed." She told them, and Naruto let out an audible sigh of relief. Had he thought his brother-in-arms was going to die overnight? "I'm going to visit him again in the late afternoon and see how he's doing. He'll probably be mad at me, but he'll get over it."

"Why would he be mad?" Sakura wanted to know. She looked a little confused. Kakashi had a feeling he knew exactly why Sasuke would be angry.

"He's very contradictory." She mused, smiling sadly, "he wants to be cared about, but he doesn't think anyone cares, and if you try to offer him help, he gets angry because he doesn't think it's sincere. He won't give anyone the benefit of the doubt, and he projects his own opinion of himself onto everyone around him, so he genuinely believes that no one would mind if he died because he's worthless."

Sakura gasped, looking horrified. "Why would he think that? _!_ I never thought Sasuke-kun had such low self-esteem! It's worse than _mine_ was when I was little," she looked at the ground, depressed. "Have we still not proven ourselves to him?"

"I think this episode with his attempted suicide has shaken that belief, because we came for him and we resuscitated him." Izumi told her, expression both serious and depressed. "He didn't expect that at all, especially because the last thing he did before that was break Naruto-kun's nose. That incident might've been what sparked his suicidal thoughts."

"About that," Kakashi cut into the conversation, which he had mostly been standing outside of. He didn't really like talking about Sasuke like this, but at this point, they didn't have too much of a choice. The kid would probably be utterly furious if he could hear what they were saying about him. "Do you have any reason to think he's going to try to kill himself again?"

Naruto inhaled sharply, as though the thought hadn't occurred to him. All at once, the blond, Sakura, and Kakashi were all staring at Izumi, waiting for her verdict. The irou-nin didn't reply at first, seemingly deep in thought. She frowned, looking somber. "I don't. Sasuke has a great deal of issues, but since this incident, I think he's realized he doesn't really want to die. Your survival instinct is always stronger when you're young." She paused, sighing heavily and brushing her hair aside. "I don't think he's going to try this again. He was terrified that Kakashi-kun was going to refer him to a psychiatric ward. It took me a little while to convince him that he wasn't, and I don't think he really believes me at all."

Kakashi dropped his gaze to the ground a few feet ahead of him. He'd been right to imagine that sending Sasuke to a psych ward would prove to be detrimental. He just hoped that Izumi would be able to offer him whatever it was that he needed, and that his team would be able to support him along the way. He hoped that the kid would _let them_.

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Naruto asked, sounding a little distraught. "Should I stop fighting with him all the time?"

Izumi shook her head, "No, definitely not. Familiarity will be more grounding for him. Don't start walking on eggshells, or doing anything you don't normally do. If you want to ask him how he's doing, that's fine, but don't pry and don't offer moral support when it's not relevant to the immediate topic." she explained. Kakashi was beginning to wonder if she was actually a child psychologist.

"Sasuke isn't going to believe you when you tell him you're not mad at him about Naruto's nose. You'll have to convince him with your actions, not your words." The irou-nin said, "Don't try too hard. Just be yourselves, and don't let this incident weigh so heavily on your minds that you can't think about him beyond it."

Naruto nodded in understanding. He'd been following along very carefully. "Okay. Act normal. Avoid accidentally saying 'I hate you.' Sounds good."

Sakura, on the other hand, seemed a bit distressed. "So, what _are_ we doing about... I mean, are we telling Tsunade-sama? Are you going to suggest that he start seeing a counselor?" Kakashi glanced at Izumi to see how she responded. _He_ knew that she was already basically Sasuke's counselor, but that was supposed to be confidential outside of himself, the Hokage, Iruka, and Izumi.

"He's already seeing someone, Sakura," Izumi stated, and Sakura looked surprised. Kakashi supposed that was a good way to answer that question. "I asked about it, so you don't need to worry about that. He's being taken care of. Let his business be his business."

She nodded, pouting a little. "Okay," she replied quietly.

"As for telling Tsunade about his attempted suicide," Kakashi spoke up, sighing heavily and rubbing the back of his head. "That's my responsibility, so I'll be handling it. Don't worry, I don't want him sent away either. That wouldn't help at all."

"It'd probably make things a million times worse," Naruto muttered.

"Exactly," the jounin agreed. "So if she brings it up, I'm going to fight with her about it."

Suddenly, Izumi gasped quietly, attracting Kakashi, Sakura, and Naruto's attention. He looked over at her, and she was staring out into the middle distance with wide, glassy eyes. After a few seconds, she blinked a couple of times, suddenly looking a little distressed.

"What is it?" Sakura asked curiously, looking out in the direction Izumi had been staring. "What's wrong?"

"No, it's... nothing's wrong, I just..." she trailed off momentarily, eyes darting around searchingly. There was a pause before she continued, defeated. "I heard Kaisuki for a moment."

Naruto's eyes widened hugely, "You heard her? Is she gone again?" He interrogated hopefully. Izumi looked up at him and swallowed.

"I think she is, yes. But I felt her clearer than I have in _days_ , and I could hear her." The irou-nin said. "Khrai thinks she has a lead. I just..." She trailed into silence.

"What's wrong, Izumi?" Kakashi questioned, and she didn't reply right away. He waited patiently. She looked anxious about something.

Finally, she looked up at him, a little paler than usual. "She sounded... younger. A lot younger. Like a child, really." She swallowed again. "I... am wondering if she's stuck in a loop from a memory."

"Could you make out what she said?" Naruto asked.

Izumi hummed thoughtfully. "She was talking to someone. Maybe arguing." The woman's lips parted, her brow furrowed. "I wonder if she was talking to Saeka?"

"Maybe," Sakura said, sounding a little confused. "Maybe Saeka went looking for her and that's why you haven't seen either of them."

The irou-nin nodded, "Perhaps. I think... I would like to return to Kaisuki's apartment and lay down so I might help Khrai look have a look around." She told them, turning slightly towards the direction she would be walking. "I'll see you around, I'm sure."

"Later, Izumi," Naruto replied, smiling. "Thanks for the update. You made me feel loads better. I think I'll be able to sleep tonight."

Sakura nodded, "Yea, thank you so much for looking after Sasuke-kun."

Izumi smiled, "It's no problem. I care about him as well."

"Still," Kakashi agreed. "Even if you would do it anyway, I really appreciate all you've done for him, and for the rest of the team."

"Of course, Kakashi-kun," the irou-nin's smile widened a bit, and she turned away and started walking back towards the streets of Konohagakure.

"Well, I'd better go see Tsunade-sama," Kakashi said, letting out a heavy sigh. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck, sensei!" Naruto hollered, and he couldn't help but smile a little. Sure, three-fourths of his team was nearly irreparably damaged, one of whom was actually a danger to himself, but they seemed to be doing an excellent job making it work.

He wasn't going to let Tsunade send Sasuke to a psych ward. It just wasn't happening. There were a thousand different reasons why that kind of treatment wouldn't help, but rather make the situation worse. He didn't want to alienate the kid by labeling him insane and shipping him elsewhere so he could be someone else's problem. Sasuke needed stability more than anything else. He already didn't trust pretty much anyone, so for them to do something _that_ extreme... he'd never extend any measure of trust to anyone again.

He stopped in front of the door to the Hokage's main office twenty minutes later, bracing himself for the storm that was sure to come. He didn't know how she was going to react at all. He'd only met her yesterday. There was just no way he was going to be able to judge what she might do depending on how he worded things.

 _Well,_ he thought with a sigh. _Not like it's the first time you've hade to bullshit your way out of something._

He rapped on the door, before grabbing the knob and opening it when he heard her call, "Come in."

She was reading a file very carefully. Upon closer inspection, Kakashi realized it was the file that Izumi had been keeping on Sasuke's condition. The blonde woman stared at him for a moment, eyes narrowed, before returning her gaze to the papers she was reading.

"Yes?" She asked.

"I need to talk to you," he stated bluntly.

She set the file down and dug her knuckles into her closed eyes, rubbing them vigorously. "I'm a little busy."

"I know." He acquiesced, "I apologize, but this is important."

"Get on with it, Kakashi." The woman said impatiently, "What is this about?"

"It's about Uchiha Sasuke. We had an... incident yesterday."

...

The word 'anxious' didn't really do it justice.

'Terrified' was much more accurate.

Izumi was running several minutes late. Sasuke had no idea why, but his mind was providing a colorful array of as many worst case scenarios as it could think of. Maybe she had completely forgotten. Maybe she was talking to the Hokage about him. Maybe they were discussing which psych ward they were going to send him to. Was he going to be sent to a psych ward? He _had_ tried to... to kill himself. That was an undeniable fact. In reality, it made sense for them to send him away.

That knowledge didn't make him feel any better. If anything, it made him feel a thousand times worse. If it made sense for them to send him away, that meant they were probably going to do just that, right? What other options were there for people who attempted to _drown themselves_?

He picked at his nails, looking up at the closed door every time he heard a pair of footsteps walking down the hall outside it. His hands wouldn't stop shaking and he was having some difficulty remembering to breathe. He had torn his wrists up again. The first night after he'd... after he'd awoken from his coma, he'd managed to get through the night without having any nightmares. Needless to say, the following two nights had not been as pleasant. The remedy Izumi had given him seemed to have stopped working, for reasons unknown.

Was she going to refer him to "a specialist?" He didn't want to start talking to anyone else. Talking to Izumi had been hard enough, and he'd just started to get used to telling her things he'd been holding in for four years. She had told him that Kakashi-sensei was going to advocate for him to prevent him from being shipped off somewhere, but he wasn't sure he believed her. Kakashi-sensei and the Sandaime Hokage had been the ones to force him to start seeing Izumi. Why wouldn't they take the next step and force him into a psych ward? Obviously what _he_ wanted wasn't what anyone considered to be his "best interests," so his opinion on the matter wasn't being counted. If it was, someone would surely have asked him for it by now.

_Silence._

It was so quiet. He didn't understand why. That snide peanut gallery that normally commented on pretty much everything he thought about had been absent since he'd tried to... since... since he'd...

_Normally, you'd say something about that. Something berating, I'm sure._

No response.

It'd been utterly silent on the inside since he'd... since he'd tried to drown himself. He distinctly recalled hearing it while he'd been underwater, but since he'd been resuscitated, it hadn't said a word. He didn't like the deafening silence. He'd been amazingly lonely without it. He hadn't seen his team since then, either. Kakashi-sensei hadn't called them together for anything, though he had been told by Izumi that the team had met to get an update on his condition the morning after... that very exciting Tuesday.

He felt like he'd been cut off from them, and it was agonizing. He'd broken Naruto's nose, though, so it was his own fault that it'd ended up like it had. Sakura was probably going to end up being afraid of him at the rate he was going, and Naruto surely hated him. Kakashi-sensei might want him off the team.

He didn't want to be thrown off Team 7. It was the only family he had, anymore.

Sasuke flinched when he heard the click of the doorknob being turned, and looked up in time to see the door swing open. Izumi stepped into the room, looking only slightly sour as she took in what looked like a stabilizing breath before looking up and into the room. Her gaze fell on Sasuke, before darting over to the clock on the wall.

"Oh my," she spoke, her tone apologetic as she returned her gaze to him and walked further into the room. "I'm so sorry, I didn't intend to be this late, I assure you."

He barely heard what she said, his gaze having fallen on the woman who had followed her into the room. His heart leaped clear into his throat, which then decided to constrict until he could hardly inhale. His eyes were wide as they darted from Izumi's face to the blonde flanking her, confusion and fear wearing at him.

She had come in with the _Hokage_.

Why? Why had she brought the Hokage in with her? Were they really planning on sending him away? Was this just a courtesy before some orderlies came along and dragged him, kicking and screaming, to some psych ward to be locked up for the rest of forever? He could only barely feel his blunt nails beginning to dig into his palms as his fists clenched impossibly tight in his lap.

He felt sick, and a little lightheaded.

The two of them crossed the room towards him, Izumi taking her usual seat, the Hokage - Tsunade-sama - sitting down on another couch across the coffee table from him. He found himself shrinking back, his shoulders rising and his head lowering a bit.

"Sasuke, are you alright?" Izumi asked, and he couldn't bring himself to look up at her. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words would come out, so he closed it again. He took in a sharp breath when he realized that he had actually stopped breathing again. "Sasuke?"

"W-..." His voice immediately died in his throat. It took him a moment to figure out how to work his vocal cords, but he eventually managed, "Why... is the Hokage here?"

His voice came out much quieter than he'd been intending. It could barely have been considered a mumble. He could feel the two of them staring at him, probably each doing their irou-nin scrutiny. He wanted to disappear. He hated people staring at him, and he especially hated it when they were doing so out of concern.

"Oh, is that it?" Izumi sounded only slightly exasperated. "Tsunade-san is here to meet you, Sasuke. She'd been over your file a dozen times, and she spoke to me just now about you. I suggested that she come and meet you herself so she can understand what's going on with you a bit better."

He wasn't sure he believed that. "I don't..." _want her in here_.

"Sasuke," Tsunade-sama herself spoke this time. She sounded very much like a no-nonsense kind of person. "You tried to drown yourself a couple of days ago," he had to resist the urge to wince. "And since you're an orphan, you're legally my responsibility. I don't _want_ to do anything extreme, but I need to know all the details before I start making decisions."

_"Start making decisions."_

Obviously, she meant that she figured she ought to know whose fate she was sealing when she made the call to lock him up. That was what they did with suicidal people, after all. And it didn't matter if he told them that he didn't actually want to die. His attempt on his own life couldn't be ignored.

He squeezed his eyes shut and spent a moment concentrating specifically on breathing, because he was beginning to feel light-headed again. Forgetting to breathe probably wasn't good for his first impression. This whole situation wasn't good for his first impression.

"She's not going to send you to a psych ward." Izumi said firmly. He wanted to look up at her, but he couldn't make himself do it. "I personally won't allow it, because I know that it will very quickly prove to be counter-productive." She paused, before letting out a frustrated breath and commanding, "Sasuke, lift your head and look at me."

Excruciatingly slowly, and with extreme care to not look towards Tsunade-sama, Sasuke lifted his head and met Izumi's gaze. It was difficult to hold. He didn't like making eye contact. Itachi had managed to train him out of that in a grand total of maybe five minutes, spread out over two separate occasions.

Izumi scrutinized him for a few seconds before her gaze softened. "You still don't believe me, do you?" And just like that, his gaze dropped to the corner of the coffee table that came between the two of them. She sighed softly, and he let his gaze dart up to meet hers for another split second before it returned to the corner of the table. "You're not going to believe me, or anyone else, until she actually tells you with certainty that you're not going anywhere, right?"

He didn't respond. "Well, alright then." The older of the two irou-nin conceded. "We'll just have to resume business as usual, so that Tsunade-san can tell you herself that you're not going anywhere. I'm sure you're not going to believe me before that, after all."

It wasn't like he didn't... trust Izumi. He trusted her a lot compared to everyone else in his life. But it wasn't like it'd be the first time he trusted someone and they wound up abandoning him and otherwise betraying that trust. He wanted to believe that Tsunade-sama wasn't going to send him away, like the brunette had said. He wanted to believe that Kakashi-sensei really would advocate for him to _not_ be carted off to a psych ward. He wanted to believe that his team didn't either hate or fear him.

The list went on, but he couldn't bring himself to trust any of them. He didn't think he'd _ever_ be able to give another person that level of trust. He wanted to, but he just _couldn't_. Whether it was a matter of fearing that he would be betrayed, or it was because he would or wouldn't think a certain way if he was in that person's shoes.

He knew that his distrust pushed people away, even when he didn't want those people to leave him.

_I don't want_ _**anyone** _ _to leave me._

Continued silence.

"Tsunade-san," Izumi's voice dragged him out of his thoughts and he chanced a glance at the other inhabitants of the room. Tsunade-sama was slowly turning her attention away from him and towards Izumi. The deceased woman wasn't smiling like she usually did. She looked fairly serious, and Sasuke was actually getting the sense that she wasn't happy about the current situation. "You had a number of questions you wanted to ask him, yes?"

The Hokage nodded, letting out a sigh as she looked back to Sasuke. He immediately diverted his attention back to the coffee table. He wanted to close himself in the closet-room he knew was behind him, hide in a corner, and maybe sink into the wall and disappear. "Izumi tells me you have a lot of trouble sleeping."

He knew he was expected to respond, and he could tell that, unlike Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei (and even the late Sandaime Hokage, actually), Tsunade-sama wasn't going to put up with him ignoring her. So, he nodded jerkily, occasionally allowing his gaze to dart up to her face before falling back to the table.

"How are your eating habits?" He froze, looking up briefly. Those two questions hadn't seemed related at all, and he was still against the idea of telling people about his terrible eating habits. It wasn't like they'd been getting any better since the incident in the Forest of Death, either. If anything, they'd gotten worse. He'd already been skipping breakfast daily, but now he was starting to skip dinner more frequently as well. He was down to one meal a day most of the time.

He was pretty sure he'd lost about ten pounds in the past month and a half.

Sasuke chanced another brief glance at Tsunade. She was still watching him, though her gaze had become scrutinizing again. He swallowed. "Not... great." He finally muttered, staring at the table intensely.

"What does that translate into?" Izumi wanted to know, "How many meals are you eating on average per day?"

Sasuke brought one of his feet up onto the couch and hugged his knee to his chest. He was still trying to persuade himself to give Izumi - at the _very_ least - the benefit of the doubt, but it was hard. He didn't know what Tsunade-sama was going to ask him, and if she started questioning him about things that raised a lot of red flags, that was just going to be several more reasons for him to be sent away.

_She's probably looking for any excuse she can find to get rid of me._

His eyes were stinging and he blinked several times to fight back the storm of misery threatening to choke him. He looked up at Izumi briefly. It looked like she was eying the way he was sitting. He had no idea why, so he watched her for a few seconds before she lifted her gaze to meet his. Her green eyes looked saddened again. That was probably his fault.

"Um..." He couldn't find the right words. It wasn't even like he was about to lie. "Just... lunch."

Izumi's brow furrowed, and she frowned. "Is this a recent development, or has it always been like this?"

He turned his attention to his knee. "Since the... Forest of Death. I used to... I used to eat dinner, too."

"But you've always skipped breakfast?" The Hokage questioned. He nodded slowly.

Izumi hummed, and he could see Tsunade-sama look over at her in his peripheral. "You're nauseous in the morning, aren't you? From the nightmares?" The brunette clarified.

Sasuke nodded again, bringing his hand to his mouth and starting to chew on his nails and cuticles. It didn't help. If anything, it fueled his anxiety, but he didn't want to stop. His hands still felt shaky, and his stomach was doing somersaults.

"You've been taking something for the nightmares, right?" Tsunade-sama wanted to know, and he nodded once again. "How has that been working for you?"

He didn't respond immediately. He was sure Izumi would've asked him the exact same question if this had been one their regular sessions, especially given his recently reinforced trauma. "It... stopped working." He mumbled. "The... the night before last, it stopped working."

"I expected that would happen, after you saw Itachi again," Izumi spoke with a nod. Sasuke looked over at her, and she smiled reassuringly at him. "I've already prepared something for you. Don't worry, we'll get this under wraps. How are your arms?"

"They're a mess." Was his quiet reply. There was a brief pause. When he looked up, Izumi and Tsunade-sama were exchanging a rather loaded look. He had a feeling he knew exactly what the next thing either of them was going to say was.

"What have you been prescribing him, exactly?" Tsunade asked. Apparently, he'd been wrong. "It doesn't specify in the file."

Izumi chuckled, "I didn't write it down because you wouldn't recognize four of the five ingredients, as they don't grow here in the Shinobi Nations. One part ioleaf and kailiac buds to four parts ailedil root and three parts blue eagrane." She recited the odd names with ease. They didn't sound anything like any language Sasuke had ever heard of in his entire life. "They're native only to Tsuki no Kuni. The climate here just doesn't support them."

Tsunade-sama stared at her for a long, long moment. She was probably debating whether or not she believed that. "How did you get a hold of them, then?"

"I grew them myself." Izumi stated as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Anyway, Tsunade-san, we can discuss herbology and medicine later. Was there anything else you needed to ask Sasuke?"

He wished that they could've forgotten that he was sitting there and simply continued on with their discussion on plant life. Apparently making himself look particularly small wasn't enough to make him at all inconspicuous. He stared at his knee intently, still chewing on his thumb.

"I need a genuine, truthful answer from you on this, Sasuke," Tsunade-sama stipulated gravely. "I would hope that you've been honest all along, but this is particularly important." He glanced up at her. He didn't at all like the look in her eyes, so he turned his gaze to the coffee table instead and lowered his head somewhat.

"I need you to explain to me why you tried to drown yourself in that lake." He froze at her question, eyes wide. He didn't dare look up at that point. His heart had skipped several beats and now it was hammering away in his throat.

_No, I can't tell you that. Please don't make me tell you that._

He couldn't possibly explain to her - to _anyone_ \- that he didn't always have complete control over himself, and how he got a sick rush out of killing and the feeling of blood on his hands. He couldn't tell her that he absolutely hated himself and knew better than anyone else that he was worthless.

He couldn't recount to her the number of times Iruka-sensei had been forced to come between him and a student because he'd broken bones or left gashes or sprained wrists and ankles and then found himself unable to _stop._ He didn't want to admit that he'd been like this for as long as he could remember, since before Itachi's betrayal.

He couldn't explain how he felt that now he'd crossed the line into lashing out at his _teammates_ with violence, there was no telling whether or not he'd try to kill one of them some day. He couldn't tell her that he had already seriously considered killing Naruto, Sakura, and Kaisuki on multiple occasions. It wasn't like it was the run-of-the-mill irritation and entertaining the thought of shoving kunai down their throats. He had plotted exactly how he would kill them, before. He _had_.

He couldn't say for sure that he would _never_ do it, and he couldn't tell Tsunade-sama that.

Sasuke curled into himself tighter, feeling his shoulders beginning to shake. What was he supposed to say? What _could_ he say? He didn't want her to have him locked up, but if he admitted to being essentially _insane_ , she wouldn't have much of a choice. She was the Hokage. It was her job to protect the village and it's people, and if there was a risk of him turning out like _Itachi_ , what choice did she have?

"Sasuke?" Tsunade-sama's voice cut into his thoughts and he abruptly clamped his hands over his ears before insistently shaking his head in denial. He felt sick. His lungs decided at that moment to force him to inhale (something he apparently hadn't been doing), which resulted in a strangled sort of wheeze that hurt his throat.

Sasuke felt a hand on his shoulder and he jerked away from the contact, realizing a little belatedly that he was still shaking his head. He drew his other knee up to his chest, beginning to sway back and forth. It was only slightly comforting. Whoever had attempted to touch him walked in front of him and crouched down so he could see her face. It was Izumi, and he drew back from her, continuously shaking his head.

_I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't..._

He could feel his mouth moving but he couldn't hear himself speaking through his hands and over the pounding of his heart. Izumi was staring at him, looking very alarmed, before she suddenly turned away from him to face Tsunade-sama, who had stood up at some point. The two of them exchanged a few words before he heard Izumi snarl actually very loudly at the Hokage - "He trusts me and not you, so _get out!_ "

There was only a few seconds worth of a pause before Tsunade-sama nodded curtly, looking both angry and upset, and walked out of Sasuke's field of vision. He coughed harshly, wheezing several times before he resumed saying whatever it was he was saying. Izumi had turned back to face him, her hands gripping his wrists and yanking them away from his head.

Now, he could hear himself. "I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't..."

"Sasuke, Sasuke, shh," Izumi was speaking over him, which wasn't very hard because his voice was barely above a whisper. "It's okay, it's okay, you don't have to do anything. Just breathe, alright? Listen to what I'm saying and breathe."

He managed to shut himself up, but he couldn't stop rocking, nor could he bring himself to get his feet off the couch. Izumi let go of his hands and he immediately wrapped them around his legs and buried his face into his knees. He felt the cushions depress beside him as Izumi sat down next to him, placing a comforting hand on his back.

"Breathe, Sasuke," she reiterated. How could she possibly be so calm? He'd just had a panic attack and now Tsunade-sama was surely going to refer him out to a mental hospital so he could suffer through intensive therapy for the rest of his life and he'd probably never step foot outside again they were going to lock him up they were going to lock him up and throw away the key and...

"Sasuke," Izumi spoke again, her voice a little firmer. "You need to focus on your breathing before you pass out. Trust me, I'm a doctor."

He nodded at first, but then he started shaking his head again. "Sh-sh-she's... she's g-gonna... s-send m-me..."

Izumi cut him off before he could finish his sentence. "Enough," she commanded. "Sasuke, if you can't get yourself under control, I'm going to have to put you to sleep. Do you understand?"

He wasn't sure if that was a threat or another option she was offering, so he simply nodded again, taking in a shuddering breath. He noticed that he was still rocking, so he made a point to stop. It was surprisingly hard, but he managed it. Giving himself control over that - even something as little as that - made him feel a little better. Sure, the rest of his life might not be up to him at all, but at least he could control his _movement_.

"That's better," Izumi encouraged gently, her arm wrapping around his shoulder. He purposefully closed his mouth so he could force himself to breathe through his nose. It helped him to get a better handle on his breathing, and he spent the next several minutes remastering the art of inhaling and exhaling correctly.

He reached up a hand and rubbed at his eyes. His throat was aching and his head was starting to throb. "I'm tired," he mumbled softly. Izumi pulled him over, rubbing his shoulder for a moment before letting go of him.

"You just had a major panic attack," she replied. "If you weren't thoroughly exhausted, I'd be surprised." He nodded silently. He wanted to go home and sleep. "Stay here a moment, alright? I need to go speak to Tsunade-san for a moment. I'll be right back, and then I'll give you your medicine so you can go home."

He looked over at her, still anxious. "I doubt she's gone far, Sasuke. Give me just a minute, okay?"

Sasuke could find anything to say to that, so he simply nodded. She smiled at him before standing up, smoothing her dress and leaving the room. Almost immediately, he could hear the quiet sound of the two women talking right outside the door. He couldn't make out what they were saying. Izumi had said that she wouldn't let Tsunade-san send him away, but what could she do if the Hokage decided to?

 _No,_ he told himself forcibly. _Don't even start. Just... shut up and wait._

So he did. He sat and chewed on his nails and stopped every attempt his mind made to catastrophize the potential outcome. The two irou-nin stood outside the door and talked for long enough that he was beginning to think that Izumi was busy persuading Tsunade-sama to change her mind. He wrapped his arms around his knees again and rested his chin on them, eying the potted plant in the corner across the room. It was very hard not to think about what _might_ be going on.

After ten minutes of interchangeably staring at the potted plant and the clock, the doorknob slowly turned, Izumi stepping partway into the room as she continued to talk to Tsunade, who evidently wasn't going to be coming back in. He heard a light chuckle from the brunette before she turned around and walked the rest of the way in, the door swinging shut behind her. He immediately noticed the sheet of paper she was holding in one hand as she walked over to him.

"Sorry that took so long," she apologized, smiling at him warmly. "I needed to explain to her why you had that panic attack. She was quite concerned."

He swallowed, nodding. "What... did she say?"

Izumi's gaze softened, and she leaned over to hand him the piece of paper she'd been holding, and he reached out and took it from her, moderately confused. "I'm going to go grab your medicine while you're reading," she informed him as she was standing back up. He watched her until she had walked past him, before turning his attention to what he was assuming was a note as he turned it over so he could see what had been written.

_Sasuke,_

_I'm sorry for triggering that panic attack. I know how awful those can be. I hope you're feeling a bit better by the time you're reading this._

_I have decided that I am_ _**not** _ _going to be sending you to a psychiatric unit. As Izumi said, and from what I've now seen, it would only make things that much worse. In exchange, I expect you to keep working with Izumi until you both agree that you're "all better."_

_Team 7 is going to be debriefed tomorrow afternoon, so I'll see you then. Make sure you get a nap in when you get home._

_Tsunade_

He stared at the note for a long, long time, unsure of what, if anything, he ought to say. His feet slowly slid off the couch, returning him to a slightly more age-appropriate position. His fatigue was suddenly a thousand times stronger, as if a a huge weight had been lifted and he could finally relax. He raised his gaze as Izumi returned, sitting down where she'd been moments ago. She looked up at him once she had finished screwing the top on the wooden flask in her hands, and smiled knowingly.

"Feel a bit better?" The irou-nin asked. He couldn't find his words, so he just nodded. She chuckled lightly, handing him the flask.

"Same drill - a tablespoon of this into a cup of green tea before bed. It's not the same concoction," Izumi explained. "It's much more potent, but it should have the same effect. If it doesn't, tell Tsunade-san immediately."

"Okay," finally, his throat had decided to start working again. "Thank you, Izumi."

Her smile broadened, "Your welcome, Sasuke. You can go now. I want to see you a week from tomorrow, alright? We didn't get to have our usual session this time, after all."

Sasuke nodded, managing a tired smile, and left. He was definitely ready for that nap.


	16. return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's late! D: Here you go!!!

"Oh, is it going to rain?" Sumi asked no one in particular, staring at the clouds that were rolling across the sky towards them.

"I certainly hope not," Kakashi sighed heavily. And he really meant it. It'd been a hot day, and Sumi had asked to stop for a ten minute break approximately every hour since they'd left that morning because of the heat. Now it was midday - hottest part of the day - and she was barely managing to get past twenty minutes without needing to stop. Their mission was going to take a lot longer than a week at their current rate. Kakashi wasn't sure he wanted to inflict Sasuke on their charge any longer than he had to. The Uchiha had been outright hostile since they'd met her.

Yukimura Sumi was the same age as the genin of Team 7, and she was actually a very sweet girl. Mild-tempered and nothing but polite to everyone around her. She'd had a heart defect of some sort or another, and the Tsunade-sama had been paid handsomely to fix it. Now, she was being paid handsomely again for the safe transport of the young girl back to her father in Shimogakure.

For whatever unknown reason, Sasuke didn't like her. He'd been fairly inconspicuous during their debriefing with Tsunade-sama, which had been expected. But since they'd actually met Sumi, he'd been giving off a truly horrible vibe, alternating between scowling and glaring. He didn't speak unless spoken to, and in those instances, he was flippant and short-tempered with whoever it was that was speaking to him. Naruto and Sakura had been periodically engaging Sumi in conversation, and as they did, Sasuke's mood only seemed to sour further.

Naruto and Sakura were chatting with Sumi in the front of the group again. Kakashi was walking alongside Sasuke in the back. He could see the Uchiha out of the corner of his eye, and the kid looked highly irritable. No change, then. He could only wonder if Sasuke somehow knew her, or if she was reminding him of someone. Kakashi didn't know of anyone aside from Itachi and Kaisuki who elicited such aggressive irritation from the him, and Sumi had _nothing_ in common with Kaisuki or Itachi.

_"We're going to sit this one out, I'm afraid."_

Izumi and Khrai had elected to stay behind in Konohagakure. They hadn't given a reason for their decision, but Kakashi hadn't pried. He could figure that they would want to dedicate any and all spare time to searching for Kaisuki and Saeka. The two of them had been missing for almost a month. If it hadn't been for Khrai's constant reassurances, he would've presumed something terrible had happened to Kaisuki.

_"She_ _**can't** _ _be dead. Literally. She's just lost. We'll find her eventually."_

The 'eventually' that had been tacked on had kind of ruined it, but it wasn't as though he didn't believe Khrai. Out of all of Kaisuki's spirits, and out of everyone Kakashi had ever known, Khrai seemed to know the most about Yurei and the Tsubaki family, the oldest theory of chakra and chakra control, and many, many other things that he hadn't yet heard about. He didn't know exactly how old she was, as she had chosen not to divulge that to him, but he could tell that she was older than he could imagine.

If anyone ever knew anything about what was going on at a given point in time, he would be willing to bet that it was Khrai. She had known exactly what to do when Neji had been possessed. Kakashi didn't even know how she could've come by that information. To him, it was an extremely unlikely scenario. Though, he supposed, in Khrai's lifetime, it was probably a lot more common compared to his. Not that that was saying much.

He was, despite what anyone may have thought on the subject, extremely wary of Khrai. She was hard-edged and angry and impatient and she didn't like men. Kakashi was not an exception. She seemed inclined to be more tolerating of him than she was of, say, Jiraiya of the Sannin, but she absolutely did not harbor a soft spot for him.

He missed Kaisuki. She had a good sense of humor (just morbid enough, much like his own), and she kept Naruto in line and out of trouble. She encouraged Sakura to become stronger instead of either worshiping her or blowing her off. She seemed to keep Sasuke from sinking too far into his dark and stoic mask by fighting with him and drawing him out of his routine of being as apathetic and indifferent as possible. Her honesty was blunt and tactless, but it gave her the ability to be straight with her teammates. It gave her the confidence to do what she felt was right without worrying about what people would say and think of her. She really had a very refreshing personality.

Kakashi had to admit that he had lucked out with how his team turned out. He didn't envy Asuma in the slightest. If he'd been given Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji, he was certain that he would've sent them back to the academy. While Hinata, Kiba, and Shino had a much better chance of passing, but he didn't think he'd have the patience for Hinata's lack of confidence.

He wasn't as strict about training as Gai. He figured that the three of them would get stronger at their own pace. He wasn't going to offer them up to the Chuunin Exams again until they decided on their own that they wanted to. He'd expected them all to do well the first run, and they had, but he couldn't deny that it had been sort of a rigged test. He knew that they hadn't _really_ been ready for that level of combat. There were people who participated in the Chuunin Exams who'd been genin for ten years and simply hadn't bothered to get the salary increase that came with being a chuunin until they were much older and had much more fighting experience under their belts.

But, despite the hiccup with Orochimaru, the four of them had pulled through strongly. Sakura hadn't made it to the final matches, but Kakashi hadn't expected her to. He was surprised she'd made it to the preliminaries, if he were to be honest. He knew that Kaisuki and Naruto would abort the Forest of Death the instant they came to the conclusion that Sakura wouldn't be able to survive it. Even if Sasuke didn't care, he could rely on Kaisuki and Naruto to look out for Sakura.

"And I know this really cool technique called the Rasengan! I'd show you but it's super dangerous and I'm not great at chakra control. Wouldn't want to hurt anyone, you know," Naruto was explaining to Sumi as he brandished a thumb at his own chest in an obvious gesture of grandeur.

Sumi giggled as Sakura rolled her eyes, "Well, then I will definitely trust you guys with my life," she told him, smiling sweetly. Kakashi had to fight off the urge to smile, had to push down the warmth that fell over his heart.

He frowned instead, suddenly every bit the well-trained ex-ANBU that he was. Every little detail that was even slightly out of the ordinary should be taken note of. The fact that he'd felt the urge to smile at all, the fact that he'd been almost overcome by the... _warmth_ of Sumi's gentleness was out of the ordinary. His emotions just weren't that easily swayed by _anything_. He didn't laugh easily, he didn't get angry easily, and he most certainly didn't cry easily (if at all). Getting a genuine reaction out of Kakashi - without _any_ filters - was a remarkable feat.

He didn't really think that Sumi was a threat, but it was possible that there was someone in the area who was. He had never heard of jutsu that could manipulate emotional responses, and he and Sakura (at the very least) would've picked up on a genjutsu in a heartbeat.

The weirdest thing about it was that everything seemed to be perfectly normal all around him. There were no suspicious shadows or animals or puddles. There were no unidentifiable noises. There weren't even any scents that were out of place. The whole scenario was boring, and while he wouldn't complain about not having to put his team in peril, he couldn't help feeling like something was actually wrong.

He just wished he could figure out what exactly the problem was.

"Jeez, Naruto, you're the complete opposite of cool," Sakura cut into whatever conversation Naruto had been engaged in with Sumi. "You're not supposed to brag about how strong you are. You have to just act like you know you could beat everyone in the room."

"Really? _!_ " Naruto exclaimed in surprise, "It’s _that_ easy?"

"Keep your voice down," Sakura chided, before continuing her lesson. "And yea, just look at Sasuke-kun. He doesn't brag at all. He just beats everyone to a pulp in battle and then acts like it wasn't a big deal, even if it totally was."

"I don't think he's all _that_ cool." Naruto grumbled in reply, shoving his hands in his pockets. Sumi was smiling widely, looking highly amused by the conversation she was witnessing.

"That's probably because you aren't a _girl_ , Naruto," the pink-haired genin retorted. "Trust me, if you were, you'd understand." The blond pulled his hands back out of his pockets, a smile appearing on his face as he opened his mouth to speak, but Sakura cut him off. "And if you use that dumb technique of yours to turn into a girl, I'm going to hit you so hard your head will come off."

Naruto's hands fell limply to his sides, and he hung his head in defeat. "I guess I'll just never be cool, huh?" He said, forlorn.

"You don't have to be cool to be attractive, Naruto-san." Sumi spoke up. Kakashi once again caught himself thinking about how nice she was. Definitely out of the ordinary. "Some girls like tall, dark, and mysterious. Other girls like bright, loud, and cheerful. Being cool is kind of overrated, in my opinion."

Naruto, being "uncool" as he was, couldn't hide the flush in his cheeks that appeared as Sumi smiled at him. It _seemed_ like a normal enough response, considering who he was talking about. Sakura didn't seem to be acting at all out of the ordinary, either. Sasuke was the only other person who was presenting obvious signs of oddness, though his behavior was leaning in the completely opposite direction of Kakashi's. It was definitely strange.

Something was off. He just couldn't say what, or why, or how.

...

The chains creaked as she swung back and forth on the swing-set, looking out across the academy grounds. It was pretty late at night. Naruto had already gone home, and she had elected to stay behind and swing lazily back and forth on the swing-set on the academy grounds. It was quiet. Konohagakure was quieter than the grave in the later hours of the night.

Kaisuki sighed to herself. She had a feeling she was forgetting something, but she couldn't figure out what it was. She felt like she'd been sitting on that swing-set for a long time, but at the same time she was sure it had only been a couple of hours since she'd sat down. It just seemed like time had come to a complete standstill, and she didn't know why.

The Tsubaki sighed heavily, staring at the ground. It was probably depression or something. In the morning, she was going to visit the Hokage and persuade him to permit her to drop out of the academy. Being orphaned, she was technically his charge, so she had to ask for his permission to do things as though he were a guardian.

She hadn't been able to bring herself to tell Naruto yet. Sasuke wouldn't care, so he didn't matter. There wasn't really anyone else that she would even think of telling beforehand, and it was probably better not to tell Naruto before she actually dropped out. He'd try to convince her to continue on her original path, and he wouldn't understand when she tried to explain that she couldn't. The kyuubi that Naruto hosted was _sealed_ within him. That meant it couldn't gain control over Naruto without at least some form of cooperation from the blond.

Saeka was nothing like that. Saeka had free reign to take over and attack people whenever she wanted. Kaisuki just wanted to arrange her life so that there were as few of the unstable girl's triggers surrounding her as possible. It wasn't cowardice. She personally saw it as a strategic retreat. She'd keep training herself. She'd get stronger on her own, and maybe eventually she'd be strong enough to hold Saeka back. But until then, it just wasn't safe for the people around her if she stayed in the academy.

She'd find a way to tame Saeka. She would. She _had_ to, or she'd never be able to achieve her end goal.

"Kaisuki," the nine year-old flinched and looked up, startled. There was a girl walking towards her, pink eyes peering through a mop of black hair. Kaisuki stared at her, confused. Who was this girl? She looked moderately familiar, but...

Then, the girl came to a stop a few feet away, lifting her arm and planting the back of her hand on her hip. Like that, Kaisuki could clearly see the long talons that were her fingers. The Tsubaki's heart leaped into her throat and started beating a vicious rhythm. Saeka was... on the outside? How was that possible? Was she hallucinating? Or was this some kind of weird Yurei spirit trick that the girl had learned?

She blinked, and all at once, everything outside of a little bubble of moonlight surrounding Saeka and Kaisuki was completely dark. The feeling that she was forgetting something was becoming stronger than ever.

"We need to go back," Saeka stated, and Kaisuki couldn't help but hear the undertone of urgency in her voice. "Your team needs us."

Kaisuki blinked, a creeping bundle of memories beginning to swim around in the darker parts of her subconscious. Where was she, really? Why had it gotten so dark around them? What was she forgetting?

"My... team?" She repeated, surprised at the lack of hesitation in her own voice. She would've expected herself to be more nervous about Saeka's presence than she was.

The girl stared at her for a long moment, before sighing in exasperation. "Hatake-san, Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and you make up Team 7. Remember?"

_"This is Tsubaki Kaisuki. She's our teammate, starting today."_

_"Why do you even care?_! _"_

_"She needs to recuperate. Get the fuck over it. She'll be back."_

Kaisuki blinked, her eyes wide. The swing and tree had disappeared, and they were standing on the side of a dirt road lined with lights. Saeka was still standing beside her, watching her carefully. Suddenly, the past three and a half years came rushing back to her all at once. It wasn't much of a jolt - just a sudden availability of information and knowledge and experiences. She stared down the path they were standing beside, feeling a bit sick. Saeka had said they been gone for a while. How long was a while?

"We don't have time, Kaisuki," Saeka suddenly said, and when the Tsubaki turned to look for her, she was a few feet further down the path. "We need to go help your team."

"What's happened?" Kaisuki asked, dread settling in her gut as she followed after the younger girl.

Saeka didn't respond right away, her stride picking up the pace. "Nothing yet. I noticed that-..."

Before she could finish, there was a distant knocking sound that echoed in the darkness around them, a muffled voice following soon after. Kaisuki's eyes widened - that had to be coming from the real world. Someone was at the front door?

"We need to hurry," Saeka said, picking up the pace again. Kaisuki kept up an equally fast pace, feeling ground seemingly disappear for a moment. It was like walking on air, but only for about five seconds. The next thing she knew, they were fast approaching the door to her spirits' little room.

They came to a stop in front of the door, "Kaisuki," Saeka said quickly, glancing up towards where the sky would be if they were outside. "Wake up, okay? Izumi will get out of your way when she realizes it's you. I'm going in here. We'll talk once you've answered the door."

Kaisuki nodded, her stomach still churning. She heard Saeka throw open the door behind her, heard Khrai swearing colorfully, yelling for Izumi. Kaisuki looked up to the sky, took in a deep breath, and woke up.

.

Her body felt a little odd, a sensation sort of like putting on an article of clothing that didn't quite fit right. She sat up, rolling her shoulders and carefully standing up. Within a few seconds, everything seemed to have settled back into place. She heard a loud banging coming from the front door and flinched, before hurrying out of her room.

" _Where the_ _ **fuck**_ _were you?_ " Khrai snarled suddenly in her head.

Saeka sighed excessively loud, " _Save it for later, Khrai. We have things to do._ "

"Khrai! Izumi! Are you home?" Kaisuki didn't at all recognize the voice calling from beyond her door, but she hurried to it nonetheless, practically throwing it open.

"Yea, we're all home." Kaisuki replied, staring at the brunette in her doorway. "Who are you?"

"Your eyes are... Oh!" Shizune-san gasped, looking truly surprised. "You must be Kaisuki. I'm Shizune, I'm Tsunade-sama's apprentice. She's the Hokage now. You've got great timing. Can I come in? I need you to pack up for a rescue mission while I'm talking."

The Yurei blinked. Evidently Naruto and Jiriya-sama had been successful with their mission to retrieve Tsunade-sama. Deciding that she'd save her onslaught of questions for a time when there wasn't an impending crisis. She stepped aside and allowed Shizune-san to cross the threshold into her home.

" _You know her, Izumi, Khrai?_ " She asked, closing the door and heading for her bedroom.

" _Yes,_ " Izumi replied for them both, "I _'ve sort of been your substitute. Khrai came forward once or twice as well. You've..._ " The irou-nin trailed off into silence.

" _I've what?_ " Kaisuki pressed, but Saeka cut her off.

" _Pay attention,_ " the girl snapped. Kaisuki bit her lip, but didn't say anything in reply. Saeka was right. She needed to listen.

"Your team was sent on an escort mission." Shizune-san began once she had made herself comfortable leaning against the wall beside Kaisuki's bedroom door. Her voice had regained the urgent undertone that had been present when she'd first been banging on and yelling through the front door. "They were to escort a girl named Yukimura Sumi to Shimogakure, and deliver her safely to her father."

" _I bet I know where this is going,_ " Khrai remarked dryly. She still sounded extremely angry. She heard a few hushed whispers and murmurs in the background of her mind, but she ignored them and concentrated on what Shizune-san was telling her.

"Tsunade-sama just got a message from the man Sumi had claimed was her father, stating that he didn't _have_ a daughter," the brunette explained seriously, "we can only assume that she's a lot more dangerous than she let on. We've already sent out a message to Kakashi, but we don't know if he'll get it in time."

Kaisuki looked up at Shizune-san as she stepped out of her room, ready to go. "How much of a head start do they have?" She asked as they walked back outside, "And who's all going on this rescue mission?"

"They have a six hour head start," Shizune-san replied as she led the way to the Hokage's office building. "If they stop at nightfall - which they will, if Sumi is still acting like she's fragile - we should be able to catch up somewhere in the vicinity of midnight. And it's you, me, and Team Gai. That's all we could scramble on such short notice. A second, larger team is going to be dispatched as soon as they're able. We're the first responders."

Kaisuki hummed in reply. " _Okay, Saeka, talk to me. What's going on?_ "

" _I noticed this... smog, I guess, of dark energy starting to expand near your team._ " Saeka explained, sounding impatient. " _It's gotten so thick that I can't even sense_ _ **Naruto**_ _._ "

" _How dark?_ " Khrai asked immediately.

" _We're talking demonic-level darkness._ " Saeka clarified. " _It's really strong. I don't know how anyone could_ _ **not**_ _notice it._ "

Kaisuki and Shizune-san walked into the Hokage's main office, where Team Gai was waiting for them. Neji was with them, his arm evidently back to being fully functional, but Rock Lee wasn't. Kaisuki looked over at the woman sitting behind the desk. Tsunade-sama of the Sannin. She was a kunoichi of legend.

The Hokage stared at her for a long moment, "You're... Kaisuki?" She said slowly, and the Tsubaki nodded.

"Yea, that's me." She replied, smiling half-heartedly. Tsunade-sama nodded curtly.

" _Tell them what I just told you._ " Saeka suddenly spoke up, sounding close to commanding. Kaisuki blinked, a little surprised, but she hummed internally in acknowledgment.

"Saeka says it's demonic." Kaisuki unintentionally cut off Gai-san before he could speak. He looked over at her, eyes widened in alarm. "She said there's a cloud of demonic energy around them that's so thick, she can't sense them through it. She can't even pick up on Naruto, apparently."

"A demon?" Tsunade-sama repeated. Kaisuki nodded. "I guess I should probably send someone along with you who..."

"No, it's fine," Kaisuki replied. "Khrai knows what to do. She can direct us, if nobody else minds."

The Hokage glanced at all the faces in the room. No one said anything, but Kaisuki couldn't help but notice that Neji's face was a fair amount paler than normal. After a brief pause, Tsunade-sama nodded, "Alright. Gai, I'm putting you in charge officially, so you make the final judgments, but if Khrai is anything like what everyone's been telling me, I'd say you should, at the very least, trust that she knows what she's talking about."

Khrai snorted. " _Suck up._ " Kaisuki declined to reply.

"No, I agree with you, Tsunade-sama." Gai-san sighed heavily, sounding as though all the life had been sucked out of him. Kaisuki could only imagine that it had something to do with not only their current situation, but also Rock Lee's current state of physical health. "I know her well enough to be willing to trust her in these kinds of scenarios."

" _Not that we encounter these scenarios particularly often, mind you._ " Khrai muttered in the background. She was very talkative compared to normal, but the red-eyed girl didn't comment on it. She could tease Khrai later.

"Alright, then," Tsunade-sama sighed. "Good luck, and be careful."

The Tsubaki nodded, worry eating at her stomach. She followed her rescue team out the door as they hastily made their way to the main northern gate, no one wanting to speak until it became necessary. Kaisuki could only hope that the palpable pessimism in the air was unwarranted, that they would get there in time to avoid any critical injuries or deaths.

_Emphasis on the "hope."_

...

The night was so much quieter out in the middle of nowhere. He could only hear the crickets. There were no late-night roamers, no gamblers in alleys, no drunks in bars. The noise level was so different. It left him with a lot more of his own thoughts.

Sasuke wasn't entirely sure if he liked it or not.

It was pretty late and he couldn't sleep. Sakura and Sumi were sleeping silently in their tent, Naruto was snoring in the one he was supposed to share with Sasuke, but wasn't for obvious reasons. Kakashi-sensei had gotten up about thirty minutes ago or so to do a perimeter check. He'd been only mildly surprised to see that Sasuke wasn't asleep, but he hadn't pressed to find out the reason, which was a good thing because the Uchiha was relatively certain that he wouldn't have been honest.

It seemed like his parasomnia was actually getting worse. Now, he couldn't sleep most of the time, and when he did, he'd have a nightmare or night terror within a couple of hours. He ought to see Izumi. He was supposed to tell her when her concoctions weren't working. He just... didn't really want to see her.

He hadn't really wanted to see _any_ of the members of his team.

_**And for good reason.** _

They were all acting normal, but he was sure that they were just pretending that they didn't detest him because he was their teammate, and they kind of _had_ to work with him. He could see Izumi telling them what to do since he'd attempted to... to drown himself. She would've told them how to behave so as to not send him back into that lake, because she was his counselor and it was kind of her job to make sure that his mental condition was at least partway decent.

_**Your mental condition has never been farther from "decent."** _

He didn't think that seeing her was helping at all. Sure, it was nice to have someone he could talk to, but he couldn't see how it was helping, assuming it was helping at all. His nightmares just kept worsening and fighting their way past her medicinal concoctions. He didn't understand why. They had been working fine until he'd seen his brother again.

Was that what it was? Had seeing Itachi just dragged all of the things that had come with _that_ day back to the surface? He'd pushed a lot of it down and away, smothered some thoughts with others, purposefully forgotten certain details so as to prevent himself from actually having a nervous breakdown.

Sasuke scowled at the fire crackling in front of him. Everything that had gone wrong and was going wrong in his life could be traced back to Itachi. If Itachi hadn't come looking for Naruto, Sasuke wouldn't have seen him again, thus ensuring that he wasn't reminded of everything he had lost. If Itachi hadn't killed their family, he'd be living happily with his mother, father, and beloved older brother. If Itachi wasn't a _prodigy_ , Sasuke would've been able to catch up to him, thus earning some form of actual attention from their father.

_**He really just needs to die.** _

_No kidding._

_**He deserves to be tortured into insanity before being killed, really.** _

_That's not really my style, but it is kind of appealing at times._

And it _was_ appealing, too. He would _hurt_ Itachi. His brother deserved that kind of end. He deserved to be beaten and broken. He _ought_ to be tortured into insanity. And thinking about it now, Sasuke was beginning to desire that outcome. If he could capture Itachi alive, he would be elated. He would have the opportunity to physically inflict every moment of mental agony he'd suffered since the massacre. The only question was: where would he start?

Before he could follow the train of thought, though, the sound of rustling shrubbery reached him. He slowly slid a hand into his thigh holster and pulled out a kunai as he silently moved to a kneeling position. He needed to stay low but still be able to move as quickly as he might need to. He sent a small burst of chakra to his eyes, his Sharingan blazing to life in his irises and spinning the tomoe in the appropriate direction to give himself the ability to see chakra.

All at once, everything went pitch black.

Sasuke stiffened, looking around searchingly, but he couldn't see at all. He tried to look down at his hand, but he couldn't even see that. Had he gone blind? Or had just his Sharingan gone blind? He swallowed, before reversing the ability to see chakra. Instantly, he could see again. The fire, his hands, the tents, the edge of the shrubbery, all of it was visible again. He swallowed hard, not liking the implications of what he was sure was going on.

Everything had gone dark as soon as he activated the ability to see chakra. For it to have gone completely black like it had, there would've had to have been a thick fog of energy so dark, it was black. He'd never seen _anyone_ with chakra that dark. The closest he'd seen was the dark violet that Orochimaru had given off. How could anyone's chakra be _that_ dark?

There was more rustling in the darkness, much closer this time. He opened his mouth, about to yell for Naruto and Sakura, when he saw a young girl step out of the inky blackness of the night. His eyes widened, his lips remaining parted in surprise, as Sumi stepped out of the shadows and looked up at him from where she'd been watching her feet so she could step carefully through the woods.

Sasuke's mind was racing. He'd been awake and sitting by the fire all night. He had seen Sumi go into her and Sakura's tent, and he hadn't seen her come back out at any point in time. And yet, here she was, standing in front of him, dressed in a much darker yukata than the one she'd been wearing earlier.

"Sumi," he greeted, lowering his kunai and standing up. He didn't want her to suspect that he knew something was wrong. He could play it off. "What are you doing up?"

He decided to leave the fact that he hadn't seen her step out of that tent alone. He needed to at least wait until Kakashi-sensei was back from his perimeter check before he could attempt to go on the offensive. If that powerful chakra he'd seen _was_ hers, he was in for a rough night.

The smirk that spread across Sumi's face was positively evil. Sasuke felt his stomach drop like a stone. "Nothing much," she answered in a sickeningly sweet tone. "Just killing a pest."

He stiffened as he tightened his grip on his kunai. He didn't like the look in her eyes at all. She had to have purposefully waited for Kakashi-sensei to be at least thirty minutes out before showing her true colors. Who was her target? Naruto was the most likely, but if that were the case, she would've just gone into Sasuke and Naruto's tent the same way she'd gotten out of Sakura's tent undetected.

_Am_ _**I** _ _her target?_

_**Judging by the context of the situation, I would say yes.** _

"A pest?" He repeated, and she chuckled lightly.

"That would be you." She drawled patronizingly, stepping forward. He instinctively moved backwards, just enough to keep the distance between them. Sumi only stepped up to the fire, however, so the only tangible thing between them was the burning wood. Sasuke adjusted his grip on his kunai, his mouth dry.

He needed a plan. Leaving Naruto and Sakura alone wasn't a good idea, so running away (or trying to, at least) wasn't a good idea. She'd probably kill the two of them as soon as he was out of sight, before chasing him down and killing him at well. He could try flaring his chakra to call Kakashi-sensei back, but once he did that, Sumi would surely attack. But if he waited until she already _had_ attacked, he could very well be killed before he got a chance.

Sumi's smile widened slightly, the expression shifting into more of a malicious smirk. The shadows around them twisting and distorting in ways that shadows weren't supposed to, as though they were coming to life. He was instantly reminded of the black chakra that he'd seen with his Sharingan. Sasuke's eyes were wide as he watched thick tentacles of inky blackness rising out of the ground around the girl's feet.

The glint in her eyes shifted just slightly, and he recognized the look of someone about to strike. He barely caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and he turned towards it in time to see a single thick strand of darkness rushing towards him, the end sharpened to a point. He brought his kunai up as quickly as he could to try and block, but it split into a few dozen different parts, all of them twisting in different directions, all of them heading straight towards him.

"Sakura!! Naruto!!"

At almost the exact moment that he was yelling for Naruto as he tried to block those strands of darkness, there was a sound like ripping flesh that split through the air. A white hot, searing pain tore through his abdomen and he stumbled backwards, his kunai falling to the ground and his back hitting the tree. He slid to the ground, eyes wide, mouth open and wheezing as his brain tried to process the amount of pain signals it was receiving. He coughed, blood rushing into his mouth and spilling past his lips.

He bowed his head as he coughed the crimson liquid up. There was blood everywhere. He could feel it spilling out of whatever horrible wound had been inflicted on him. It was flowing fast. The damage was critical, potentially fatal. He couldn't stop the bleeding himself, he couldn't get up and keep fighting. He wasn't even sure that he would be able to yell for Naruto and Sakura again if they weren't awake.

The breaths he was taking in were excruciating. Every slight movement sent wave after wave of pain through his body. His fingers and toes were numb, his breathing fast and shallow. He was already beginning to feel chilled and there was a hazy grayness around the edges of his vision that was slowly spreading across his field of vision.

He heard a yell, a scream, the sound of something hitting the ground, someone running towards him, a shrill laugh, an enraged roar. Someone's hands pressed against his cheeks and tilting his head back so they could see his face.

Sakura.

"Sasuke-kun, oh my-... okay, okay, it's okay, I can... I can stop the bleeding. I can stop it..." He couldn't tell who she was trying to convince. She let go of his face quickly, and he tilted his head back so it leaned against the tree behind him. Warmth was curling around his abdomen. It only seemed to highlight the pain, and he made a thin, weak sound to express his opinion on the matter. Sakura had stopped talking, and he wished she hadn't. It was quiet. The fighting was gone. He couldn't hear Naruto anymore.

His eyes slid shut on their own accord.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura called for him again and he fought to open his eyes again. He turned his head a little so that he could see her. Her eyes were streaming tears, her face was pale, her shoulders shaking. Everything was darkening. He wasn't sure if there was still a point to keeping his eyes open.

"Please don't fall asleep," the pink-haired girl beside him was saying, "S-Sasuke-kun, please, _please_ don't fall asleep. You need to... to stay awake. You're g-going into shock, and if you fall asleep now, you might..." A choked sob. "You might never wake up."

_**... So pathetic... I always... everything... clearly don't...** _

He couldn't even hear himself think over the ringing in his ears. Everything had stopped making sense, and the grayness bordering his vision was on the verge of consuming his sight altogether. He could faintly hear two separate voices, but he couldn't make out what they were saying and he couldn't tell who they were.

His eyes were slipping shut, and he didn't have the energy to try and fight it anymore.

_**You're not going to die yet.** _

%MCEPASTEBIN%


	17. waiting room

" _ Anything yet, Saeka? I think we should be coming up on them soon _ ," Kaisuki asked internally as she and the rest of the rescue team raced through the trees. It was dark out, the only light coming from the moon. It was only barely enough to see, and given the speed at which they were moving, it was actually kind of dangerous for them to be cutting through the trees. 

They didn't have a choice, though. Team 7 would've taken Sumi on the paths, but those wound their way north around the hills and mountains. If they followed the paths, it would take far too long for them to catch up.

They were just paying very close attention to their surroundings.

" _ It's getting clearer _ ," Saeka said slowly. She sounded extremely tense and Kaisuki wasn't entirely sure why. Sure, they were about to go up against a demonic entity, but she was relatively certain that Saeka hadn't seemed this tense when she'd gone up against Teara. " _ I can feel Naruto and the others. It's hard to tell where they are exactly... _ "

She heard Saeka hiss softly, a sound of displeasure. Kaisuki clenched her jaw, " _ What is it? _ "

" _ Feels like Sasuke and Hatake-san are badly hurt. Hatake-san's chakra is fluctuating a bit and it's fading very slowly, _ " Saeka explained quickly, " _ But Sasuke seems to be on the verge of death. I can barely feel his chakra at all, and he's about as far from us as Hatake-san. _ "

The Tsubaki's eyes widened in horror. " _ Where is everyone? _ " Khrai suddenly cut into the conversation, " _ Are they all in one spot? _ "

" _ No, _ " Saeka replied, " _ Hatake-san is about five hundred meters directly ahead of us. Naruto is fighting Sumi, by the feel of it, about a kilometer ahead of us if we shifted course about forty-five degrees to the left. Sasuke and Sakura are around six hundred meters from us, about sixty degrees to the right. By the feel of it, Sakura is probably using irou-ninjutsu on Sasuke. _ " 

Khrai clicked her tongue agitatedly, " _ Are you feeling Naruto's chakra or the kyuubi's chakra _ ?" She demanded to know.

" _ Feels like the kyuubi's, for sure. _ " Saeka replied shortly. 

"Kaisuki!" Shizune's voice caught her attention, and she hummed loudly to let the irou-nin know that she'd been heard. "Are we getting close?"

"Yes," Kaisuki responded. "We were just discussing that."

"Can you tell how the situation is?" Gai asked, his voice intensely serious. Kaisuki didn't think she'd ever seen him with such a grim look on his face.

" _ Let me talk to them. _ " Khrai suddenly said, " _ I have a plan. _ "

"Khrai will tell you," Kaisuki replied, and she stepped back whilst in the air to let Khrai step up and take over. All at once, her night vision was drastically improved. Apparently Khrai had particularly good eyes.

"Sasuke is close to dead, and Sakura is likely trying to tend to whatever injuries he's sustained," Khrai began. "Kakashi is fading as well, though not as fast. Naruto is fighting with Sumi with the kyuubi's chakra, so he's probably rampaging."

Something was really,  _ really _ wrong. Or at least, that was the impression Kaisuki was getting. To her, it seemed as though Khrai was more tense than usual. Her usual sour mood was nowhere to be seen or felt, instead replaced by rather icy calculations and logic. It didn't suit her at all, in Kaisuki's opinion. Khrai without her irritability was hardly the same person.

"Shizune, Tenten," Khrai called out to the other two females on their team. "Head over to Sasuke and Sakura. They're less than a quarter mile up if you adjust your direction by about sixty degrees to the right." She paused for only a second before she continued. "Gai, Neji, you're coming with me. We're going to see what's up with Kakashi, and then we're going to go take care of Naruto and Sumi. If anything happens, use your flares. And for the love of god, don't  _ any one of you _ go off on your own for any reason. Utilize the buddy system, folks."

For whatever reason, despite what Tsunade-sama had said about Gai-san being their team leader, Shizune didn't waste any time at all taking off with Tenten. Gai-san didn't bother trying to call after them, either. They pressed forward, racing through the trees as fast as they could, eyes peeled for any signs of Kakashi-sensei. Khrai stepped back to let Kaisuki return to being in control, and she had only just gotten herself situated when Saeka spotted Kakashi-sensei.

"I see him," Gai-san suddenly said, slowing down. Kaisuki and Neji did the same, and seconds later they had landed on the ground and were running over to where Kakashi-sensei was sitting up against a tree.

Kaisuki's jounin instructor was not in good shape. His eyes were closed, expression screwed up in pain, one hand pressed over the left side of his neck. His chest was drenched in blood and his face was gaunt. Kaisuki didn't have to be told to quickly step back and let Izumi take over. The brunette took over in an instant, her eyes sweeping over Kakashi's still person as she assessed his condition.

"Kakashi-kun," Izumi called after she had finished her preliminary assessment, "Can you hear me? Are you conscious?"

There was a pause before Kakashi-sensei's one visible eye cracked open, widening slightly upon seeing them. His lips moved beneath his mask, the shadows shifting just enough to tell her that he was trying to talk to them.

" _ Kaisuki, _ " Khrai said, and Kaisuki tore her gaze away from Kakashi-sensei's incredibly frail-looking person. " _ Have Gai take Kakashi to Shizune and them. You and Neji will go and take down Naruto. _ "

" _ What are you thinking _ ?" The Yurei asked, furrowing her brow. She would've thought that it'd make more sense to bring the strongest fighter with them to ensure that they took Naruto down without having to kill him. If it was just herself and Neji, they might not be able to separate Sumi and Naruto long enough to accomplish anything aside from getting themselves killed.

" _ Neji will hit each one of Naruto's tenketsu twice, _ " the blonde woman explained. " _ That'll cut Naruto's chakra supply completely, and then he'll be down for the count. He can't miss any of those tenketsu, and he has to hit  _ _**all** _ _ of them twice. Underline the urgency here. _ "

Kaisuki nodded, looking up as she heard Izumi call out to them from the front seat, "All done."

The Tsubaki quickly switched places with Izumi, blinking herself back to reality. She looked over at Gai-san and relayed to him what Khrai had said to her. The jounin didn't look like he was particularly excited about leaving Neji with Kaisuki, but he didn't say anything as she explained what her blonde friend was thinking.

"Alright," Gai-san agreed. "Both of you, be careful."

Kaisuki smiled, "Of course."

" _ Neji will probably be the safest out of every single one of them. _ " Khrai grumbled. " _ Have a little faith, you piece of-... _ "

" _ Oh, stop it. Last time you and Neji were left to your own devices, you put him in rehab. _ " Kaisuki chided, and the blonde muttered something under her breath. 

Gai-san hefted Kakashi-sensei up, supporting most of his weight, as the copy-ninja could barely stand on his own. Kaisuki looked to Neji in the dim lighting of the forest, and he nodded at her. They both leaped back into the trees and took off, heading in the direction Saeka had said Naruto would be in, neither of them looking back at their jounin instructors.

The atmosphere was loud. Kaisuki didn't notice it as much until it was just her and Neji - Gai-san had a rather loud vibe, so she could easily chalk the noisiness up to his presence. Neji, on the other hand, was as quiet as they came. His chakra was placid and his presence was hardly noticeable.

So, with just the two of them, the din in the air around them was immeasurable. Despite the silence from the forest itself, Kaisuki felt that if someone had been screaming in her ear, it wouldn't have been as loud. It was cold and loud and  _ heavy _ . Kaisuki had never felt anything like it. Not really. She'd gotten a glimpse of that darkness through Khrai's perception of it when the spirit had showed her the fight she'd had with the demon that had possessed Neji, but it just didn't compare to what she was feeling now.

Sumi was  _ powerful _ .

" _ So, what's our plan of attack? _ " Kaisuki asked apprehensively, mostly intending the question for Khrai. She was willing to listen to Izumi and Saeka's ideas, but she knew that Khrai would have the best input. 

" _ Attack. _ " Was the blonde's rather useless answer. 

_So much for the best input._

Saeka spoke up dryly before Kaisuki could, " _**That's** _ _ helpful. _ " 

" _ Shut the hell up _ ," Khrai snapped, losing her patience in an instant. All at once, she was snarling at them, despite how minor the offense was, and despite the fact that it was Saeka - Khrai's favorite - who had done the offending. " _**Kill her** _ _ in the first fucking strike, okay? Is that enough  _ _**direction** _ _ for you _ ?"

Kaisuki almost didn't want to reply to that, given Khrai's sudden turn of mood, but she was immediately concerned with her instructions. " _ What about her hostess? Isn't she possessed? Shouldn't we- _ ..."

" _**No** _ _. _ " Khrai interrupted her heatedly. Something was definitely wrong. " _ She isn't possessed. There is nothing human about her. You need to have her dead on the first try, or she'll kill every fucking one of you. _ "

She swallowed hard, " _ Alright, I guess. _ " She conceded. Khrai refusing to tell her things wasn't new. The blonde was forever leaving out details, whether they seemed important to Kaisuki or not. The woman hadn't gotten them killed yet, though, so Kaisuki was willing to put a certain amount of faith in her, but this particular situation was more dangerous than any of the others she'd been met with thus far. 

But it was in Khrai's best interest to keep her hostess from dying, right? Or did it not matter?  _ Should _ she be trusting the oldest and most knowledgeable of her spirits, or should she take Khrai's words with a larger grain of salt than she already was? Reading the woman's emotions was easy, but understanding her and how she thought was impossible. Not to mention the fact that Kaisuki didn't know how much Khrai cared about her, Izumi, and Saeka, assuming she really did at all. She seemed both invested and aloof at the same time.

" _ I can't sense  _ _**anything** _ _. It's like a total black out _ ." Saeka suddenly muttered, sounding uneasy. The air around them was thick with dark energy, some of it violent and angry, some of it as cold as it was purely evil. There was a definite line between the chakra from Sumi and the chakra from the kyuubi. Sumi's was black and cold and purely evil, whilst the kyuubi's was crimson and hot and angry. Everyone always referred to the kyuubi as the "demon fox," but feeling his chakra alongside an actual demoness' was like comparing water to fire.

" _ You're coming up on them, _ " the eleven-year old girl told her, and Kaisuki reached down and pulled a kunai out of her thigh holster as she relayed the message to Neji. She felt his chakra shift as he activated his Byakugan, listening to Khrai muttering something in the background that she couldn't hear. She really wanted to inquire further as to what was going on, but...

"I can see them," Neji cut into her thoughts, and she glanced over at him for a split second before returning her gaze to the area ahead of her. She could see an ending to the tree branches ahead - they were probably coming up on a clearing. There were powerful pulses of chakra rolling through the air like waves off the ocean, cold and hot at the same time. Ten seconds or less later, they broke out of the cover of the trees, Kaisuki sending a thrust of chakra to the base of her foot on her last step, sending herself flying across the clearing.

She landed between the demoness and the half-possessed Naruto, kunai twirling apprehensively in her hand. It didn't escape Kaisuki's attention that Sumi didn't attempt to escape or attack. The petite girl's eyes widened in reaction to her and Neji's sudden appearance, but the expression of surprise looked unnatural. She didn't try to defend herself as the Tsubaki approached speedily, her hand coming up only partway as though to block, but stopping early for some reason. The actions looked false. As though she were simply pretending to be caught off guard. It put a bad feeling in Kaisuki's nerves, but she pressed it down. She would trust that Khrai would get her out of anything truly dangerous.

" _ Don't get distracted. _ " Khrai hissed, cutting into her thoughts. Kaisuki gritted her teeth, adjusting her trajectory and darting in low, swinging out with her kunai aiming for Sumi's throat. 

The demoness didn't seem to try very hard to get out of the way. Kaisuki's kunai sank into deceivingly delicate flesh, slicing through her target's jugular and windpipe with ease. The demoness stumbled backwards, eyes wide in surprise as blood the color of ink spilled out of her fresh injury. She leaned forward, grasping at her neck with shaking hands, chest heaving as she tried to take in a breath while blood rapidly flowed into her opened windpipe. She fell to her knees first, and only a few seconds later, she crumpled the rest of the way to the ground.

Something wasn't right, and Kaisuki wasn't sure what it was. That had been way too easy. Sumi had taken out Sasuke and Kakashi with ease, and she'd been fighting Naruto while he was in a berserker state and hadn't taken a single injury. So why was it that she had been so easy for Kaisuki to kill? Was she really dead? Kakashi-sensei had told her that the demon possessing Neji had continued to use the arm that Khrai had broken, despite how much damage had been done to it. Was it possible that she was only playing dead so she could get away? Or so she could attack them while their backs were turned?

" _ Her chakra flow has stopped, _ " Saeka reassured her, but she didn't sound particularly sure of herself. It sounded more like she was commenting on the fact while expecting something horrible to happen. Her lack of confidence only added fuel to Kaisuki's paranoia. 

" _ Cut it out _ , _ both of you, _ " Khrai said impatiently. " _ If you're so worried, get your shit together and get the fuck out of here. The faster you get back to the others, the safer everyone will be. Get a move on. _ "

Kaisuki swallowed again, taking a few steps backwards, eyes still on Sumi's still body, before she finally turned around and jogged over to Neji and Naruto. The Hyuuga was crouched down by her blond friend's side, looking up at her as she approached.

"He doesn't seem to have taken any injuries," he told her as he returned his attention to Naruto. He shook the boy a bit, and Kaisuki silently willed him to wake up. Getting to the others would be much easier if no one had to carry anyone else.

Right when she was about to give in and suggest that they carry him, Naruto groaned, blue eyes fluttering open. He lay there for a long moment, staring at the sky with an expression that told Kaisuki that he was very slowly processing what was going on around him. His gaze fell on Neji, and then Kaisuki, and then his eyes widened and he sat up suddenly.

"K-Kaisuki! _? _ " He exclaimed in shock, "Is that really you? Am I hallucinating? How long have you been..." He trailed off into silence, lips remaining parted as horror crept across his features. He looked to Neji again, and then back to Kaisuki.

"We have to go, Naruto," Neji said as he stood up. Kaisuki extended a hand out to her friend, and he took it and allowed her to help him to his feet. "Everyone else met up with Sasuke and Sakura. We have to go to them as well."

Naruto's face drained of color, "S-Sasuke's... he was..." He could hardly speak. Kaisuki was getting the distinct impression that Sasuke's injuries were much,  _ much _ worse than she could've anticipated.

"Shizune-san is with them," Kaisuki said, trying to be reassuring despite being also extremely anxious. "And another team should be..."

"She gutted him." Naruto's voice was barely above a whisper. Kaisuki's heart stuttered in her chest. The brief silence was deafening. "There was... there was so much blood. Is he even..." He took in a shuddering breath, "... alive?"

" _ I don't know _ ," Saeka supplied immediately. " _ I can't sense him, but I also can't sense anyone else. That smog is still really thick. _ "

"Saeka doesn't know," Kaisuki told Naruto quietly. His expression was stricken. "She can't sense anyone because there's a blanket of chakra over the area that's so thick, she can't feel anything through it."

"We'll just have to go find out," Neji supplied, sounding both impatient and uncomfortable. "Let's go."

Kaisuki looked over at him, nodding slowly. He seemed very bothered by their surroundings. Was there something going on that she was missing? Was there another threat incoming? Or did he just have a bad feeling because of the chakra that was still all around them?

" _ He's hyper-sensitive to demonic energy, _ " Khrai explained quietly. The anger from earlier had faded, leaving her sounding wary and tired. " _ People who've been possessed tend to be. _ "

Kaisuki internally hummed in acknowledgment as she, Naruto, and Neji started back the way they'd come. She glanced over her shoulder one last time, but Sumi's corpse was still right where it had been a moment ago. She still felt like something was wrong, but she couldn't place it and she didn't want to stick around to try and play detective. They needed to get to Sasuke. If he was as badly hurt as Naruto had said, Shizune-san was going to need help, and the only other fully-fledged irou-nin in the area was Izumi. The faster they could get back, the more likely it would be that Sasuke would survive.

She cleared her mind of the catastrophizing that immediately started up, pushed down the paranoia that still lingered in the aftermath of her short battle with Sumi, and concentrated on what was in front of her. She could fret later. Right now, she needed to get Izumi to Sasuke.

.

She hated waiting.

Sure, she had Saeka to keep her posted on the state of Sasuke's chakra ( _ "if it suddenly disappears, you'll be the first to know" _ ), but it didn't really help. It just meant that she'd know when Sasuke was dead before the rest of her team did. The state of his chakra signature wouldn't tell her how the surgery was progressing. It wouldn't tell her if he was coding. It wouldn't tell her if he fighting to stay alive, or if he was trying desperately to just die. 

Kakashi-sensei wasn't with them. He was still unconscious in a recovery room somewhere on the floor below them, having received a transfusion to replace the blood he'd lost. Apparently, he'd lost a lot. Gai-san was with him, so far as Kaisuki knew. He'd promised to let them know if Kakashi-sensei woke up while he was standing vigil over his bedside. The black-haired man had seemed very distressed by the state of his "rival" (best friend, really), even though he had tried to play off his fretting by being eccentric as usual. Kaisuki was sure that Naruto and Sakura had picked up on his act just as quickly as she had. They hadn't stayed particularly long, deciding to leave Gai-san to worry over Kakashi-sensei in private, so that he wouldn't have to be his usual hyperactive self.

Kaisuki sat up and leaned against the wall behind her from where she'd been slouching over her knees. Sakura was sitting on her right, Naruto on her left. Occasionally, one of them would say something and another would reply, and they might talk for a few minutes after that, but they would inevitably fall back into excruciating silence. Kaisuki had seen Sasuke when she, Naruto, and Neji had gotten to the rest of their group. As Naruto had said, there had been a  _ lot _ of blood. Kaisuki had seen the damage as Izumi assisted Shizune-san in their attempts to keep him alive until the rest of the rescue team arrived with their ticket back home.

Sakura had apparently been holding the bleeding at bay until help arrived. Kakashi-sensei had gotten the message about Sumi and gotten back to the campsite a few minutes after Naruto had run off after the demon. Neither Sakura nor Naruto had been able to tell her the events that had transpired after Kakashi-sensei had gone after their blond teammate. She would have to wait until their jounin instructor woke up to hear that part of the story.

Izumi had been completely silent since Sasuke's care had been taken out of her hands, whereas Saeka and Khrai were talking in hushed tones that Kaisuki couldn't decipher. The Yurei herself hadn't been able to muster the emotional fortitude to attempt to talk to any of them, and they seemed to understand that, so Khrai and Saeka were leaving her alone. She was eternally grateful for it.

She was a little worried about Izumi, though. She seemed to be even more distressed than the conscious portion of Team 7. Kaisuki had been hearing her intermittently crying for the past seven hours, during almost all of which the Tsubaki herself had spent sitting in the waiting room, awaiting news of Sasuke's condition. She still didn't know a lot about Izumi, and she'd gotten the impression that Khrai and Saeka didn't either, so she didn't know what about the situation was triggering such a strong emotional response from the irou-nin.

Kaisuki was, at times, a little saddened by the lack of trust between herself and the spirits she hosted. She had been doing her best to be as patient as she could, because she knew simply by common sense that she couldn't force soul-baring. She couldn't  _ make _ them like her, or trust her, or anything really. She just had to be consistently herself, and at least try to be patient with the slow progress. They were damaged, even though she didn't like to put it that way. All three of them probably had some kind of trust issues. 

She did her best to concentrate on the fact that she was happier than anything about the progress of her relationships with her spirits, but there were still a great many things about them she didn't know. And it was during the helpless moments when she couldn't figure out what she could say or do to help the spirits within her that she recognized just how much she really didn't know. She was sure that none of them took it particularly personally when she couldn't think of what to do to help, but she still felt terrible that she was unable to do  _ anything _ . 

She sighed quietly to herself, ignoring the feeling of Naruto's gaze turning towards her. Outside, the sun had risen, and she was exhausted. If she hadn't been so gripped with anxiety as she was, she would've fallen asleep in her seat long ago. Aside from Sasuke, she was still fretting about Sumi, even though she had plenty of reason to believe the girl was dead. She didn't quite understand why she had such a bad feeling about it, but she felt like she ought to have trusted her gut and attempted to kill Sumi in a more definitive way, such as decapitation, or dismemberment, or something.

Sasuke had been her target, for whatever reason. She had grievously injured him and then made to disappear, only to be chased by Naruto. If anyone else had been her target, she would've attacked them as well as - if not instead of - Sasuke. The only question was  _ why _ Sasuke had been her target. Kaisuki hadn't stopped to ask any questions, and she doubted she would've gotten a truthful answer anyway. What could  _ Sasuke _ possibly have done to piss off a  _ demon _ enough to warrant an attempt on his life?

She wasn't even entirely sure that it would matter, in the end. It was still distinctly possible that he would die on the table. He'd lost a notable amount of blood, what had at least seemed like his entire abdominal cavity had been shredded, and he'd had that wound open for at  _ least _ half an hour. Even if he survived the operation, he might still end up with an infection and die from that instead.

She didn't know if it made sense to hope that he'd make it. She'd never been particularly optimistic (nor pessimistic, really), instead opting to be as realistic about any potential outcome as possible. If it didn't make sense for her to hope, she would presume the worst would come to pass and simply try to steel herself for the bad news when it came. And to many of the kids her age, she came across as a complete pessimist, but only because the best (or at least decent) outcome wasn't usually the realistic one.

But it was because of that realistic approach to the situation that there was an ache in her throat that had been threatening to choke her for  _ hours _ while her stomach was did acrobatics. Her eyes would burn on and off, but she had yet to actually burst into tears. Sakura had been silently crying periodically the entire time they'd been seated in the waiting room, and Kaisuki could feel the anxious tremor in Naruto's body as though it was her who was shaking.

Khrai and Saeka's whispering fell silent suddenly, and because they had been doing that periodically, Kaisuki hadn't thought anything of it until the youngest of her spirits spoke up loud enough for her host to actually hear. " _ He's moving, _ " she told Kaisuki, Izumi, and Khrai. " _ I think they're moving him. I think they might be done. Seems like he lived. _ "

She heard Izumi suck in a sharp, stuttering breath as Kaisuki's vision started to blur. All at once hot tears were spilling out of her bright red eyes, and she was trying to make herself stop almost as quickly as she'd started. She quickly reached up and wiped her eyes on her sleeve, taking in several shuddering breaths. She could feel Naruto and Sakura's eyes on her; she needed to pull herself together before they assumed their teammate was dead.

"What... what is it?" Naruto asked, sounding defeated. Kaisuki shook her head as she looked over at him, and then at Sakura. Her lower lip was trembling fiercely as she fought to hold in her emotions.

"He's alive," she barely managed to say past the lump in her throat. "Saeka said that they're moving him. He's... I mean, I'm sure there's other things to worry about even now, but... the worst is over, I think."

Sakura's eyes widened in surprise, eyes filling with tears that rapidly began to fall. She opened her mouth several times to speak, but she evidently couldn't find her words. When Kaisuki looked back over at Naruto, he was grinning uncontrollably at her. She smiled back helplessly as he let out a relieved laugh, unable to settle her own tsunami of emotions.

"I see you already know," the three of them looked up at the sound of Tsunade-sama's voice. She was walking towards them with a very slight smile on her face. She looked exhausted, and Kaisuki didn't blame her - she had probably dipped pretty deeply into her chakra reservoirs, and she'd been awake and operating on a trauma patient all night.

The three of them stood up as Kaisuki replied, "Saeka told me when you started moving him."

The blonde woman nodded, "He's in the ICU, and he's going to have to be closely monitored for a least a few days to make sure there's no infection, but at least for now, he's alive." She told them. "I wish I could tell you that you can see him, but for at least the first twenty-four hours, he's going to be in a clean room, and nobody but the minimal number of necessary irou-nin and nurses will be allowed in."

"Oh," Sakura sounded impossibly disappointed. She probably wanted more than anything to be able to see him breathing with her own two eyes. It was sort of hard to believe that Sasuke had survived such a critical injury without being able to see him themselves.

Naruto, being the optimist that he was, stepped around Kaisuki so he could pat their pink-haired teammate on the shoulder, smiling reassuringly at her when she looked over. "Well, think of it this way: since you can't see him anyway, you might as well go home and get some sleep, right?" He suggested. At first, Sakura looked a little unhappy, but after a moment the resolve in her eyes hardened and she nodded, smiling back.

"Yea, you're right." She agreed without an hesitation. "I trust you to take care of him, Tsunade-sama."

"You'd better," the Hokage said, smirking despite her fatigue. "If you don't trust  _ me _ with him, how could you trust anyone with anything?"

Sakura chuckled, her mood cheered by Naruto's thoughtful optimism. Kaisuki couldn't help but wish (as she often did) that she could be half as optimistic as her blond friend, and that she could use that optimism to cheer people up and make any situation brighter. Naruto was incredibly good at it, and she would probably always be a little jealous of his innate ability to look on the brightest side in the face of any amount of darkness.

"Well, I have a bed to go sleep in," Tsunade-sama sighed out, interrupting Kaisuki's train of thought. The Tsubaki blinked herself back into the present and turned her attention back to the Hokage. She definitely needed to sleep. "Good night, you lot."

"Goodnight, then, Tsunade-sama." Sakura bid the blonde woman farewell as she turned away and started back the way she'd come.

Kaisuki smiled slightly as she watched the Godaime Hokage leave. She was still struggling to maintain her composure in the face of such good news when she was as tired as she was. She reached up a hand to rub at her excruciatingly dry eyes. The tiredness that had been gnawing away at her for the past several hours was making itself known with extra vigor, draining any and all of the energy she'd had left. If she didn't get back to her bed soon, she was going to collapse.

"I don't know about you two," she said, helpless to stop herself from yawning. Both her teammates looked over at her. "But I'm gonna head out. I'm about to fall asleep standing up."

She took a few steps in the direction that would eventually take her outside, glancing over her shoulder. "What about you two?"

Naruto grinned, "I'll walk out with you. I'm beat, too," he winked, his smile shifting into something a little more playful. He was definitely over-tired and becoming manic. "If you can even imagine that. Are you coming, Sakura-chan?"

The pink-haired girl in question smiled, suddenly looking every bit as tired as Kaisuki felt. The wall of fatigue must've hit her as well. "I will after I swing by Kakashi-sensei's room. I'll let him know what's up if he's awake."

Kaisuki bobbed her head, covering her mouth as she yawned again. "Alright, then I'll see you later for sure."

"Yea, for sure." Sakura agreed, turning to head in the opposite direction from her two teammates. They waved one last time before Kaisuki turned away and started down the hall with Naruto following beside her.

She still felt like she wanted to burst into tears, but she swallowed it down and smothered it with reminders of how tired she was, of how comfortable her bed was going to be, of how the sound of her and Naruto's footsteps were perfectly synchronized. She didn't want to cry.

Kaisuki lifted her tired gaze from the ground a few feet in front of her as she and Naruto continued down the streets together. People were starting to come out of their homes, yawning and stretching and waving to one another.

"Well, here's my turn," Naruto suddenly spoke, startling her a little. She looked over at him, noting that they had, indeed, reached the point where they split up. She managed to muster a smile, and he chuckled at her. "You look dead. Go get some sleep, yea?"

"Yea," she replied, stifling another yawn. "I'll see you later."

"Sleep well." He said, and she nodded at him before he headed down his street.

She continued on alone, gaze falling to the ground a few feet ahead of her again. She couldn't wait to get into her bed. She hadn't been this tired before in a long time.

.

Once she was asleep, it was always much easier for her to wander into the depths of herself and find the room with the kotatsu that she knew Khrai, Izumi, and Saeka would be in. Kaisuki stepped into the slightly cluttered space, noting immediately that Izumi wasn't present. She furrowed her brows, glancing around as she walked further in and closed the door behind her.

" _ Where's Izumi? _ " She asked as she was sitting down. 

Khrai waved off her concern, " _ She's not in a good place right now. I'm sure she's fine, but she probably won't be joining us today. Anyway, so now that we've gotten past the crisis, _ " she scowled as she changed the subject immediately. Kaisuki wondered if she knew any of the details about what was up with Izumi. " _ Where the fuck were you? _ "

" _ I have no idea, _ " Kaisuki replied sheepishly after a brief pause in which she tried to remember what had happened. " _ I don't really remember what happened. Or how I got to... wherever I was. _ "

The blonde looked like she was about to start cursing her out when Saeka spoke up quietly. " _ I threw you too far back. _ "

Khrai scowled. " _ No shit. _ "

The black-haired girl lowered her head and sank into her shoulders. " _ I didn't mean to. I... I panicked, and I didn't want any of you to... I accidentally threw her to where I usually hang out. _ " She explained with a notable tremor in her voice.

" _ Which is  _ _**where** _ _ , exactly? And you didn't want us to what? Spit it out. _ " The blonde demanded, her tone growing impatient. Kaisuki dug her knuckles into her eyes. Khrai had obviously been holding in her irritation for the better part of however long Kaisuki been gone. She didn't handle anger particularly well, that was for sure. But if she didn't stop snarling at Saeka, the eleven year-old was going to run away and hide again.

" _ Kaisuki's earliest memories _ ," Saeka mumbled, completely ignoring Khrai's second question. " _ The Spring Festival before she turned five. _ "

Kaisuki blinked, surprised. That seemed like it would probably be a ways away in her head. " _ Why would you go that far back? _ "

" _ Because you never think about it, so none of you would find me there. _ " Was the reply she got. Saeka sounded extremely anxious. She had to be expecting Kaisuki to be angry (if not hateful) because of whatever it was she was about to tell her. " _ When I want to be left alone, I go back to the things you've mostly forgotten about. _ "

Kaisuki furrowed her eyebrows. " _ So... when you found me... _ "

" _ You were reliving your memories starting from that festival. That's probably why you don't remember anything; your memories overlapped, so it's like nothing happened since you were last seen at all. _ " Saeka answered her unfinished question. Her eyes were on the surface of the kotatsu table. " _ You've been gone for about a month. _ "

The Tsubaki blanched, eyes wide in a mixture of shock and horror. " _ A  _ _**month** _ _? _ !" She repeated incredulously and with increased volume. " _ Why didn't you get me sooner? _ !"

Saeka didn't reply immediately. For a moment, Kaisuki was wondering if she would answer at all. She looked like she was contemplating running out of the room to hide somewhere until things had simmered down. Kaisuki sincerely hoped she wouldn't. She needed to know what was going on. It wasn't like Saeka's moments of panic were for no reason. If something happened to persuade her to come out of hiding as suddenly and as frantically as she had, it had to be an important detail.

" _ I... _ " She began, her voice barely above a whisper. She sounded terrified. " _ I didn't want to tell you what happened. I was hoping Khrai and Izumi would find you so I... wouldn't have to come back. _ "

Khrai's hand, which had been sitting on the table, slowly curled into a fist. Kaisuki watched her for only a couple seconds before she returned her attention to Saeka. The girl's shoulders were shaking slightly, her head still lowered and her shoulders still hunched. She had to be thinking that Kaisuki and Khrai were going to "stop liking her" because of what she'd done. She had to be terrified that they were going to reject her.

The Tsubaki saw Khrai's mouth opened, saw the flashing in her eyes, and she cut her off before she could speak a word. " _ It's okay, Saeka. _ " She reassured gently." _ I'm sorry I raised my voice. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm not mad. Will you tell me what happened? You don't have to if you're not ready. _ "

She could feel Khrai's eyes on her, but she refused to look at her, instead choosing to remain engaged with the youngest in the room. Saeka didn't reply as she lifted her head just enough so she could see Kaisuki's face. Khrai didn't fill the silence with any cursing and or snarling, and the hostess of the spirits was endlessly thankful for her being able to read the situation. The last thing they wanted at this point was for Saeka to disappear again.

As it was, the girl appeared to be deep in thought, likely weighing her options and considering the possible outcomes. Kaisuki couldn't tell which direction she was leaning in. She expected Saeka to decline to explain herself, and she was fully prepared to assure her that it was fine if that came to be the case.

" _ I... _ " she started and stopped with the one word. Kaisuki waited patiently, watched as she took several stabilizing breaths. After a long couple of minutes, she finally continued, " _ T-... Teara was... around. I went to... chase him off, I guess. _ " She paused, sucking in another shuddering breath. " _ I... I didn't want to come back at all. But I couldn't... I mean, I... I thought he was... tailing someone... but I don't know who. _ "

Something about the way she ended her explanation suggested to Kaisuki that there was a detail she was leaving out, but she didn't pry. Telling her even as little as she had marked a lot of progress, considering the apparent depths of Saeka's trust issues. She would take what she could get.

" _ Are you mad? _ " Came a whisper so quiet, she almost didn't hear it. Kaisuki blinked, looking up from where her gaze had fallen to her hands as they rested on the table. Saeka was staring at her, stricken.

" _ No, _ " she replied, smiling sadly. " _ I'm not mad. I was just thinking. _ " Kaisuki turned her attention to Khrai, " _ What do you think we should do? Who do you think he's tailing? _ "

The blonde looked over at Saeka from where she'd been scowling at the wall, the agitation in her expression fading into something a little gentler. She sighed heavily, turning to Kaisuki and replying, " _ I have no idea. It's depends on what you  _ _**want** _ _ to do. If it was up to me, I'd want to tail him and find out what he's up to. He seems to like coming around these parts, even though I'm sure he doesn't live anywhere near here. _ "

Kaisuki nodded in agreement. " _ That's probably... _ " she halted mid-sentence, looking down at the table again. Tailing Teara  _ sounded _ like a good game plan, but she clearly remembered what had happened when Saeka had tried to fight him during the Chuunin Exams. They were outmatched by a long shot. Even if she were to bring Team 7 along with her (and she wasn't sure she wanted to), it was highly likely that they'd get slaughtered if he cottoned on to the fact that they were following him. 

Saeka was enough to take out several chuunin, jounin, and ANBU members more or less at the same time. If  _ she _ couldn't beat Teara, there was no way four genin and Kakashi-sensei would be enough. Tailing Teara would probably be classified as an S-rank mission.

" _ What are you thinking? _ " Khrai asked. " _ Worried we can't take him? _ "

Kaisuki looked up at her and nodded. " _ I don't know if I'm really qualified to tail someone as dangerous as Teara. _ "

" _ You're definitely not, _ " the blonde replied with raised eyebrows. " _ So it's a damn good thing you're bringing three dead people along to help you. _ "

" _ But do you think I should ask my team if- _ ..."

Khrai shook her head, silencing Kaisuki immediately. " _ When it comes to reconnaissance, the fewer the better. If there's five of you, you're that much more likely to be caught. And do you really think Naruto could do a mission like that? _ " She explained flippantly. " _ Naruto would want to engage him as soon as he did something horrible to someone - which we  _ _**all** _ _ know he will - and that's the last thing we need. _ "

The Tsubaki didn't reply right away, furrowing her brow and frowning. " _ So, this would be something I'd have to do alone, huh? _ " She muttered hesitantly. If it was just her, it would be that much more dangerous. It wasn't like she had a whole mess of contacts all over the place to help her in any way. 

" _ You're not alone, god damn it. Did you hear anything I just said? _ " Khrai snapped impatiently. " _ Look, I'm nine hundred and fifty-three thousand, three hundred and eighty-three years old. I'm the most powerful person you're going to meet in your life, probably, and that's because I'm not human. _ "

Saeka and Kaisuki both looked up at Khrai at that, alarmed and bewildered. Not human? How could her spirit have wound up in a  _ human _ Yurei if she wasn't a human spirit? Did that even make sense? Kaisuki was well aware of how deceiving Khrai's slender, shapely body was. She knew that one punch had basically destroyed Neji's arm, but there were plenty of people in the world who could do something like that.

" _ Not... human? _ " She repeated slowly, disbelievingly. " _ How are you  _ _**not** _ _ human? _ "

Khrai's expression, which had been relatively neutral, shifted back into a scowl. " _ By not being human, you jackass, _ " she spat unhelpfully.

" _ Then what are you? _ " Saeka asked in a small voice, as though she wasn't sure if she was allowed to speak to the blonde yet. At first, Khrai didn't reply. She didn't look like she particularly wanted to. In fact, she sort of looked like she was regretting giving up that piece of information. But, after a moment, she let out a noisy sigh.

" _ I'm an elf. _ " She replied, flicking her fingers at herself. Instantly, an illusion that Kaisuki hadn't realized existed was dispelled, revealing the long, pointed ears that were definitely not that of a human. The Tsubaki, for a long moment, couldn't take her eyes off them.

" _ An... elf? I thought that was just old folktales or... something. _ " Kaisuki breathed, blinking several times to ensure that she wasn't hallucinating. Elves were, so far as she knew, nothing more than lore and legend. They'd never been documented as anything more. So for an actual elf to be sitting across a kotatsu from her... it was kind of amazing.

" _ Why are you so surprised? _ " Khrai grumbled, and Kaisuki locked eyes with her. She looked pretty unhappy. " _ It's not like there are no non-human beings that share a lot of physical features with you people. _ "

" _ I know that, it's just... _ " She began, trailing off into silence. She didn't really know why she was so struck with awe. Khrai had told her that she was almost a million years old. It was entirely possible for elves to have been replaced by humans in that amount of time.

" _ Sorry, _ " she said quietly. " _ I don't know why. _ "

Khrai snorted, waving her off. " _ Don't worry about it. It's not really a sore spot. I get that every time I tell people about it. So don't tell anyone, okay? Not unless I give you explicit permission. _ "

Kaisuki nodded, " _ Of  _ course."

" _ So _ ...  _ you're not human and you're really strong, I get that, _ " Saeka spoke up again, sounding uncertain about the whole thing. Khrai and Kaisuki looked over at her again, expectantly waiting for the punchline. " _ But are you really strong enough to take on Teara? _ "

At that, the blonde snorted." _ If I can catch him, I can kill him. Trust me. That doesn't really matter, though, because we're not going to be fighting him if we can avoid it. We're strictly talking about tailing here. But, in the event that he decides try and kill Kaisuki, _ " Her expression darkened, a look that sent chills up Kaisuki's spine. It was a whole different level of anger from usual. " _ I'll be more than happy to rip his head off his shoulders. _ "

Saeka nodded stiffly, dropping her gaze back to the table again. Kaisuki knew Khrai wasn't lying, simply by her expression and tone of voice. It wasn't hard to tell blustering from honesty. She probably didn't have to worry too much about Teara successfully killing her, but that didn't make the decision she was trying to make any easier. She'd have to spend long periods of time far away from home. She'd have to put her goal on hold, at least until she could figure out what Teara was up to. She didn't want to have to leave her team behind, but she knew that chasing the white-haired man ought to be her top priority.

" _ You don't have to decide right this second, _ " Khrai's voice cut into her thoughts. " _ We've already lost his trail, so if we do go after him, we'll have to start from scratch anyway. So take your time and think about it. _ "

Kaisuki looked up at her, frowning. She didn't really need to spend all that long thinking about it. Her goal could wait. She could return every now and then to visit home. She could keep her team posted on her findings and movements, and she could take the opportunity presented by traveling alone to spend more time with the spirits residing within her. It wasn't like she'd never get another chance to see any of the people she'd be leaving behind, and she didn't expect that she'd run out of time to achieve her ambition, either.

" _ No, _ " she finally spoke after a long moment, determination clearing away her worries. Any insecurities she had about the task before her could be brought to Khrai and Izumi's attention, and she knew that the two of them would help her work through the kinks. Saeka could guide her to where Teara was. It wasn't like she'd be alone. It wasn't like she'd be helpless in case of battle. It wasn't like she didn't trust Khrai, Izumi, and Saeka.

" _ I've decided. Let's do it _ ."

It wasn't like she only had one team she could turn to.


	18. departure

Sometimes, reading calmed his nerves. Other times, it seemed to turn into a task just mindless enough to leave him brooding in the branches of a tree.

Kakashi's eyes were glazing over the words, barely reading any of them. He was still trying to figure out the situation with the demonic entities that seemed to be cropping up everywhere. First it had been Neji, then Sumi, who had definitely been targeting Sasuke. There was no other reason why she would have gifted him such a horrendous injury and then not so much as scratched Naruto.

The question was  _ why _ she had been targeting Sasuke. What had the Uchiha done to draw the attention of a powerful demon like the girl who had claimed to be Yukimura Sumi? Had she been sent by someone else? Had she been sent by Itachi, or Orochimaru, or any of the people in between who had a grudge against the Uchiha clan? It wasn't as though the number of people who spat upon the Uchiha name were far and few between. Many people had probably only ever encountered Itachi, and if they didn't know anything about him aside form his relation to Sasuke, he supposed it was possible that they might try to get revenge by killing the younger brother, but...

Kakashi sighed heavily. That idea didn't really make sense. Itachi was infamous throughout the entirety of the Shinobi Nations, and everyone who knew his name also knew of what he had done to his family.

The fact of the matter was that Kakashi didn't have enough information to figure out what was going on. Khrai probably had a better idea than he did. He ought to ask her, even if the chances of him getting a straight answer were pretty low. She'd explained everything about possession and demons to Gai and the other jounin instructors after she'd put Neji in the hospital, but none of those details had included what they were after, why they were after it, and who was behind the whole thing.

Then again, she might not know. He didn't distrust her word, necessarily, but he had a feeling that Khrai knew a  _ lot _ more than she led everyone to believe. She didn't seem to like taking over Kaisuki's body so she could talk to people on the outside. During the entire month that Kaisuki and Saeka had been missing in action, Khrai had taken over the Yurei's body exactly once, and it had only been for a short period of time. Izumi had been doing all the heavy lifting.

He still didn't know how Kaisuki had been returned to them. She hadn't elaborated on what had actually happened to cause her to disappear for so long, nor had she done a particularly good job explaining how she'd come back.

The Yurei had been fairly dodgy with questions and hadn't been seen much since she'd come back a few weeks ago. She had been spending a lot of time training on her own, and when she wasn't doing that, she was locked up in her home doing whatever it was she was doing. It almost seemed and felt like she was avoiding her team, but Kakashi couldn't say why. He had a feeling that something was about to happen with her. He wished she'd confide in him, but he understood why she didn't. He wasn't exactly the kind of person one would ask for advice.

It was distressing because he could clearly see why he wasn't confidant material, and yet he didn't really want to do anything about it.

"Kakashi-sensei," he blinked himself out of his thoughts and looked down at the source of the voice that had called him. It was Sasuke. He'd been out of the hospital for about four days, and as Kakashi scrutinized him with an eye that was trained to detect weakness and lies, he could see that something was bothering the kid. He wasn't really showing any outward signs of anxiety (which was odd compared to how he'd been behaving for the past two months), but he could tell by the look in the Uchiha's dark eyes that something was wrong.

"Yes?" Kakashi questioned as he swung his legs off the branch he'd been practically laying on, dropping out of the tree easily. Sasuke didn't reply at first. He seemed to be considering whether or not he regretted his decision to tell Kakashi whatever he was about to tell him. "Is something wrong?"

Sasuke's expression shifted into a scowl, but it didn't look particularly threatening. Seemed like more of a knee-jerk reaction. Since when had he been the type to  _ habitually _ glare at people? Sure, the kid did spend a lot of time glaring and scowling at people, but never as an instinctive reaction. That was more Khrai's style.

His left eye started aching, sending pulsing pains throughout his entire head. It was pretty distracting, but he pushed down his awareness of it and concentrated on the presence of the Uchiha standing before him. Obviously, now wasn't a good time for him to be thinking about how much his head was hurting.

"I... need to talk to you," Sasuke finally uttered. He looked pretty agitated. The jounin's eye shrieked pain at him for a couple seconds before settling back down again. He had to resist the urge to rub at the grouchy organ.

Kakashi snapped his book shut and shoved it back into his kunai pouch, where he usually kept it. "About?" He inquired patiently. Sasuke wasn't very good at talking about things that bothered or upset him. Such was the nature of trust issues, but it could be annoying to have to press and pry and dig to get him to fess up whatever it was he was thinking about saying.

"I had a..." he faltered into silence for a few seconds before he continued. "I mean... have you ever had to... to fight with ... bloodlust?"

Kakashi halted for a long moment. His eye throbbed harder. Had he ever had to  _ fight _ with bloodlust? The answer to the question was no, but he wanted to know why Sasuke was even asking such a question. Was  _ he _ fighting with the urge to destroy and kill and bathe in blood regularly? As usual, he found himself wondering how many of Sasuke's well-kept secrets were going to come to light before he turned thirteen.

More importantly, why was he asking this question  _ now _ ? 

"Why do you ask?" He questioned after a pause, ignoring the pounding in his head. Once again, Sasuke didn't say anything. As the seconds turned into a couple of minutes, Kakashi figured that he wasn't going to get a straight answer to that question. He sighed heavily, placing his palm against the back of his neck. His hands were fairly cold. It felt nice.

"No, I haven't." He answered Sasuke's original question. The Uchiha nodded silently with an unreadable expression. Kakashi wasn't sure what else he could even say, so he didn't say anything at all.

"Do you know anyone who has?" His voice was quiet; monotonous, even. He sounded like he was beyond tired. The copy-ninja couldn't help wondering how the Uchiha had been sleeping.

"Well," Kakashi began slowly. He wasn't sure how he could word this without it coming out horrible. "No, I don't personally know anyone with that problem. There are some who don't consider it a problem - people like Orochimaru and Hoshigaki Kisame, mostly. But those aren't really people you'd want to hang out with."

The expression Sasuke wore remained unreadable, even in the face of what Kakashi was relatively certain was bad news. After a pause, the Uchiha slowly jerked his head into a nod of acknowledgment. The jounin felt like he ought to say something more. Once again, he was without all the pieces of the puzzle. He didn't have enough information to figure out what was going on, and he didn't have a resource that would tell him all of those details.

"I see," Sasuke finally said after a long pause. The look in his eyes had changed to something more agitated. "Thanks anyway," he muttered, his tone of voice monotonous. "I'll see you around."

Kakashi nodded curtly. He wasn't sure he wanted to let the kid leave, but he didn't have any reason to make him stay. He had nothing else to say, and Sasuke had no further questions. He didn't know what was going on with the Uchiha. He didn't know what the kid was thinking. It was fairly distressing. He could only hope that Sasuke would be more honest with  _ someone _ else. He didn't want to see the boy slip between the cracks of his own making.

Sasuke turned away and started walking back the way he had come. Kakashi stood by the tree he'd been sitting in and watched him go until he was out of sight. He had a sort of paranoid feeling in his gut and he didn't know what to attribute it to.

He reached up with a hand, sliding his fingers under his hitai-ate and pressing them against the closed eyelid of his aching left eye. He hadn't wanted to show any sign of the discomfort while the Uchiha had been present, but it really was quite painful.

_ Probably stress.  _ He thought to himself offhandedly. His team certainly provided him with plenty of that.

...

Obviously, something was wrong. Kaisuki just couldn't figure out what could have gone wrong for  _ her _ to be called to the Hokage's office. If she'd been summoned, that meant the rest of her team had been summoned as well, and given the urgency of the message she'd received, she could figure that something had probably happened to one of her teammates. 

The real question was:  _ what _ ?

Her first thought was Sasuke, especially after the conversation she'd had with Khrai about Sumi. The fact that he'd been a powerful demoness' target was odd, and the extremely short-lived battle Kaisuki had had with said demoness was even odder. If the Tsubaki had been right and Sumi  _ hadn't _ been dead, she might've returned to finish the job.

The thought sent her stomach into back flips. She tried to clear her thoughts, knowing that predicting the worst possible reason for her to be urgently summoned wasn't helpful in any way. She needed to just get to where she was going and let the Hokage tell her what was wrong.

Kaisuki took the stairs up the side of the Hokage's office building two at a time, walking around a corner and down a hall until she reached the main office. She paused in front of the door for a moment, taking a deep breath before knocking sharply on the wood.

"Come in," she heard Tsunade-sama's voice, and she obediently opened the door and walked into the room.

A few things jumped out at her immediately. Firstly, Sasuke wasn't present, despite the rest of Team 7 being in the room. Second, Sakura's eyes were red and her face was blotchy and she looked like she hadn't quite finished crying. Finally, Naruto's face was ashen and he looked extremely upset.

Kaisuki stomach dropped. Had she been right after all? She stepped further into the room and let the door swing shut behind her, looking amongst the four faces in the room for someone to explain to her what was going on. Sakura had looked up when her fellow female teammate had walked into the room, but she had buried her face in her hands seconds after. Whatever had happened, it was devastation for the pink-haired girl, and it involved Sasuke. The list of things that could be wrong was getting shorter as the seconds passed.

"Sasuke's gone," Naruto suddenly blurted out, and for just an instant Kaisuki wasn't sure what he meant by 'gone.' Then, he continued, "Sakura ran into him late last night, and he said he was going to Otogakure to train under Orochimaru. I... I was wondering if you'd come with me to go get him."

Kaisuki froze, eyes wide. She felt a surge of emotions coming from every which way, and she had to step back from the reigns of her own body so she could turn to the three spirits standing just behind her.

" _ He probably made a mistake and he just doesn't know it yet, _ " Izumi was already saying as Kaisuki walked over to where they were standing. " _ We should go. We'll be the able to bring him back mostly unharmed if we do. _ "

" _ What the fuck would be the point? _ " Khrai snapped, taking her anger out on everyone around her, as usual. " _ Unless we plan to lock his ass up permanently, there's no way we can keep him here even if we do manage to bring him home. _ "

" _ It wouldn't have to be permanent, _ " Izumi argued. " _ Just until he's emotionally stable enough to think coherently. He's got to have a reason for deciding to leave like this, and he has to at least think it's a good reason. If I can convince him otherwise-... _ "

" _ And how exactly do you intend to do that? _ " The elf retorted heatedly, " _ He doesn't  _ _**want** _ _ help from anyone here. If he did, I would fucking think he probably would've stuck around. _ "

" _ You're assuming that he's exhausted his resources, _ " was Izumi's reply. " _ If he thinks that there's no one here who can help him, he won't have any reason to stay. _ "

" _**You're** _ _ assuming that help is what he's looking for. _ " Khrai was looking more and more furious by the second. Saeka had yet to say anything, but by the way Kaisuki could feel her body temperature slowly rising, she could guess what the younger girl's opinion would be. " _ Last I checked, Sasuke's primary goal in life was getting strong enough to kill his brother. If anything, he's probably looking for a quick fix for how pathetically weak he is. His encounters with Sumi and Itachi have probably given him a bit of a kick in the ass. _ "

Kaisuki didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do. She felt like she shouldn't make the decision without consulting Khrai, Izumi, and Saeka, but if they couldn't make up their minds one way or the other, she didn't know what she would do. She felt like Izumi was right on the one hand, but she felt Khrai was right on the other.

Sasuke might've been making a fatal mistake without realizing it, but he also might've just decided that sticking around Konohagakure wasn't going to make him strong enough fast enough. He may have been looking for help from the snake Sannin, but he may also have been looking for power. Kaisuki didn't know what the status of his ambition was, as she had stopped trying to talk to him about it when they were nine.

He had seemed to be getting less and less driven towards that goal as his time with Team 7 had progressed. He'd made friends for the first time since the massacre. He'd thought about something other than killing Itachi. He'd  _ seemed _ to be changing, and yet he had ditched his hometown without a word to anyone but Sakura - whom, Kaisuki would bet, only had the opportunity to say goodbye because she'd had the luck of running into him. 

" _ What do you think, Sae-...? _ " Kaisuki blinked, jerked herself out her thoughts when Khrai turned in her direction, looking over her shoulder. Her eyes widened, recalling in that instant that she had let go of the reigns so she could talk to the three spirits residing within her. She whirled around, finding Saeka standing at the front, her hot, red chakra swirling around her in an angry, unbidden aura.

"No," she heard her voice - just a little higher than normal - say. The Tsubaki lurched forward, intending to pull her away from the reigns, but she stopped herself. The level of rage she could feel coming off of Saeka was at dangerous levels. She was as angry as she used to get at Sasuke when she'd tried to kill him those several times. She was as angry as she'd been the first time she'd seen Kakashi-sensei after the day she'd murdered Kaisuki's family.

Kaisuki probably wouldn't be able to get her to step back, and even if she did, the girl would fight her about it and she'd probably win.

"W-what?" Naruto's voice was uncertain. There was a barely noticeable hint of fear in his tone. He'd never seen Saeka that furious. He'd seen her angry enough to throw a knife at Sasuke and purposefully miss, but he'd never seen her angry enough to  _ kill _ the Uchiha. "Why not? _! _ " He looked and sounded so distressed, Kaisuki wanted to pull Saeka back just so she could hug him. She had a feeling she wasn't going to get a chance to.

"He made his decision," Saeka replied, her voice deathly calm. Sakura had lifted her head to look at the girl as she spoke through Kaisuki, her expression stricken. "Whatever he gets at this point, he  _ deserves it _ ."

The look on Naruto and Sakura's faces was enough to make Kaisuki look away. She felt terrible, but Khrai and Saeka were right. Izumi was possibly right too, but the point was that Sasuke had made a choice. It may have been the wrong choice, and he could potentially decide that he wanted to take it back, but the point was that he had made a decision. He would have to live with whatever consequences came his way, if there were any. For all she knew, Orochimaru wouldn't do anything particularly horrible to the Uchiha. She just didn't know, and she couldn't possibly expect to be able to figure it out.

She felt herself moving and looked up again in time to see herself pulling the door open and leaving the room. She watched as Saeka walked around the corner, down the hall and then the stairs, before breaking into a run. Kaisuki looked back over at Khrai and Izumi, both of whom had fallen completely silent during the whole ordeal. Izumi looked like she was close to tears, and Kaisuki wanted to say something to comfort her, but there wasn't really anything to say. The brunette stood there for only a few seconds longer before she turned and disappeared into the darkness behind them, likely to find herself a spot to sit and cry.

Khrai had watched the irou-nin go until she had fully disappeared, before she turned her attention to Kaisuki. " _ What are your thoughts? I guess it would've been nice to ask you, huh? _ "

The Tsubaki didn't reply at first, listening to the door of her apartment slam shut as Saeka walked her back to her bed, laying her down and closing her eyes. The truth was that she agreed with Khrai and Saeka, but she felt guilty about it. She felt like it was a testament to how little she must've cared.

" _ What is it? _ " Khrai asked as Saeka walked past the two of them and disappeared into the darkness without a word. The feeling of her chakra and her rage slowly faded away, leaving a strange hollowness behind. 

" _ I... I agree with you and Saeka, _ " Kaisuki finally replied softly. " _ I really do. You're both right; he made a choice, and he should deal with the consequences of that choice. If he changes his mind, we'll all still be here. _ "

" _ But? _ " The elf pried gently. 

She hung her head, " _ I feel terrible. Naruto and Sakura are so upset, and Kakashi-sensei's probably really upset too, and  _ _**I** _ _ didn't even tell them what I thought. I let Saeka speak for me, and even though she said what I wanted to say in fewer words... it should've come from me. _ "

" _ It's not like she gave you much of a choice, _ " Khrai replied with a sigh. She brushed her hair out of her face, only for it to immediately fall back into place. " _ And that's not really what's bothering you, is it? You don't have to lie to me, you know. _ "

" _ I don't... I mean... _ " She stumbled over her words before falling silent again for a moment. " _ Should I... care more? _ "

The blonde blinked, her eyebrows knitting together. " _ What? Do you honestly think that your decision to let Sasuke fuck off and do whatever he wants is a reflection of how much you care about him? _ " It wasn't a rhetorical question, and while that wasn't how Kaisuki would've worded it, it was exactly what she thought. So, she bobbed her head slightly in reply. " _ Are you kidding me? Kaisuki, you care just as much as they do. But you're not such a hopeless fucking control freak that you'd  _ _**force** _ _ him to stay here when he obviously doesn't want to. _ "

Kaisuki nodded mutely, the slightest smile gracing her expression. Khrai smirked at her, glancing over her shoulders into the darkness behind her. " _ I don't know where those two went, or when they're coming back, but they'll get over it. Even Izumi. Besides, we have better things to be doing that chasing down a pubescent brat. _ "

The Tsubaki chuckled at that, stepping back up and resuming control of her body. Khrai was right. Saeka and Izumi would both eventually come back. And even if Izumi was angry with the three of them for a while, she'd get past it. She and Khrai fought rather frequently, as they usually had completely opposite opinions, and they were equally stubborn. There wasn't really anything to worry about regarding that.

Her eyes ghosted over her bedroom, coming to settle on the desk where she'd started writing a letter to Naruto and Sakura, explaining that she was leaving and that she  _ would _ eventually come back. She had originally decided to leave them a letter, only to change her mind and decide that she'd see them in person. However, after the what had just happened, she wasn't sure she wanted to see them before she left. She was sure that Naruto would be very angry with her for it, but she  _ was _ coming back. She didn't know  _ when _ , but she would definitely return home to visit every now and then. 

She walked over to her desk, sitting down and looking over what she had already written. Khrai's presence had faded into the background - she'd probably gone to make sure Izumi and Saeka were okay, or had returned to that little room with the kotatsu. Either way, she was left alone with her thoughts. It was a nice change of pace. She admired Izumi, and Khrai was refreshingly direct, and she positively adored Saeka, but their presences were very conspicuous. Moments where they were all in the back and being very quiet were definitely cherished.

The letter she'd started wasn't up to par, so she crumbled the sheet of paper she'd been writing on and pulled out another to start fresh. She would lie about why she was leaving. She could say that she had decided to go out and see if she could learn more about her clan and their Yurei. A journey of self-discovery, so to speak. She would reassure them so they didn't lose sleep thinking about her being out on her own. They didn't need to worry about her; she had Khrai and Saeka and Izumi, and she knew she could rely on them to prevent her from dying.

Most importantly, she would promise them that she'd return. After all, Konohagakure was her home, and she had no intentions of replacing it with somewhere else.

...

_Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi-sensei,_

_I'm really sorry that I didn't do this in person. After what happened with Sasuke, I wasn't sure I wanted to come up to you the following day and tell you that I was leaving, so I arranged for you to receive this after I'd already left._

_Before you panic, no, I'm not running away from home. I spoke to Tsunade-sama about this already. I want to learn as much as I can about the Tsubaki clan and Yurei. I don't know how long I'm going to be gone. The Tsubaki clan was around for a long time, and for all I know, I'm not the only one left._

_I'm gonna miss you guys a ton, so I'll be sure to come home every now and then to see you. I'll send you letters when I'm out, too, just so you know I'm not dead. Feel free to write back, I'd love to hear from you._

_Naruto, don't you dare get inaugurated as the Rokudaime Hokage while I'm gone!! If you do, I'm gonna be so mad that I don't think there's a word for it. If you're gonna get inaugurated, send me a letter so I can come home super fast and see you!_

_Sakura, keep your chin up. I know you're probably still devastated, but don't let that misery consume you. If you're going to bring him back, you're going to have to be strong enough to take him out. I'm sure Tsunade-sama will be happy to pass on more than just her medicinal knowledge. Make sure you spend more time training than you do on your hair, okay? But don't let it go too much. Split ends are terrible._

_Kakashi-sensei, I don't even know where to start. You've been so good to me and you've really helped me grow as a person and as a kunoichi. I'm so grateful for all that you've done for me and the rest of the team. Take care of Naruto and Sakura while I'm gone, but don't neglect yourself! I know you don't sleep enough. It shows on your face, and I have a lot of experience with insomnia._

_I love all of you so much! See you later!_

_Kaisuki_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will start posting the sequel, Within an Endless Night, no sooner than New Year's Day. That does NOT mean I will definitely start posting it that day, it just means I won't start sooner than that.


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